


LANCE CORPORAL

by galateabellator



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Gen, Other, POV Original Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-02-17 14:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 98,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2312195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galateabellator/pseuds/galateabellator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Scouting Legion members are summoned to participate in the latest mission against the Ape Titan. Among military members, there is Ezra Schwarz - a girl who shares a common past with lance corporal Levi... and is the second corporal in command for a while now. Divided by tempers and events that occurred between them, they took separate ways four years ago and operated in different sections of the Scouting Legion ever since. Commander Erwin Smith throws a sudden, forced reunion upon them, and they will have to deal with their issues while fighting the most dangerous creature humankind ever encountered...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_For them, it has all begun a long time ago._ **
> 
> _Chapter is posted on DeviantArt. I have profile there under the same name._   
>  **Link for the chapter on DA: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-The-Arrival-pt-1-405195004**

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt.1)  
by galateabellator, Oct 4, 2013, 8:02:58 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**PART 1 - THE ARRIVAL - Levi x OC**

The army was assembling in the main Headquarters of the Survey Corps. All military members were invited to attend an emergency meeting, which was set up by the supreme Commander, Erwin Smith. Everyone waited for the soldiers and their superiors - they were supposed to arrive from their current missions or tasks - all from different areas between and beyond the walls. Some of us took two days before finally reaching the HQ, because of the distance. 

Many people were surprised by the actual size of the Scouting Legion, once they'd learned about it. (Newcomers usually believed we were much smaller group than what they'd previously expected). Yes, we were the smallest branch of the military, with an official size of 300 soldiers (which was even lowered by the constant losses on expeditions), but that figure was only for the public domain. We had much more fighters in separate units... and all those units were extremely capable. 

By tradition, new cadets are sent to the Central Unit, led by Erwin (for quite some time, if I may add) so it's commonly believed that the number of our troops was limited to the Main Headquarters, and people in it. It's no wonder, considering that the Central Unit usually did the most of the field missions and the most scouting. However, several more units of Recon Corps existed as well, located in all parts of our little caged world, and everywhere outside of it. Erwin led the majority (as Shadis did before him), of course, for he was the supreme Commander. But, him aside, some capable soldiers were in charge for those smaller sections within the Legion. Naturally, they reported back to the Central Unit, to Erwin and his main military force officers - and that system proved to be the most efficient for years. 

It was all Erwin's idea to make those separate sections within the legion, naming them after the territory they were covering. Therefore, there were the North Unit, the South Unit, the East Unit and the West Unit - which was mine to command. 

My name is Corporal Ezra Schwarz, and I've been on this position for five years.

My unit rode all day until we reached the destination – spacious castle-like house which represented the HQ. We entered a large room with long, wooden tables and benches. The chandelier held around a hundred lighted candles. The torches were burning up on the walls, as dusk slowly turned into darkness. It still felt familiar, even after all these years I've spent away from it. 

All the gathered soldiers waited for those who were late. The new recruits were already sitting at the table, next to commander Erwin and the (in)famous Lance Corporal Levi. Well, it’s only logical; the younglings are now part of the Central Unit. It’s a pity that most of the old setting of CU was wiped out in the fifty - seventh mission outside the Walls. They were all splendid people, extremely good and devoted soldiers… and above all, loyal and protective friends. The rest of us felt disappointment, utter disgust and deep sorrow when we heard about the tragedy. It was never easy to deal with this kind of emotions, no matter how many people we've lost or how many battles we fought.

New soldiers mostly seemed excited. Some looked a bit scared, the others just confused. But, the older folks, those with more experience… they were visibly tired and moody, and had the faces of people who can no longer stand the fight against such dangerous, creepy and disgusting enemies, which were only killing us for an amusement. I knew those depressed and cold expressions of soldiers, with dead eyes that held no life, or hope… yes, they had the faces of people who only waited to be devoured in the next mission. There were plenty of them in our unit too. A very few number of older soldiers could keep a positive attitude and an optimistic view of the future when their loved ones have constantly been dying in battles.

We saw some other familiar faces, such as squad leader Hanji Zoe’s, who waved at my group. I've greeted her in the same way, and even added a weak smile. It wasn't in my nature to smile much, but Hanji had that effect on people from time to time. It was easy to love Hanji, she was smart, funny and weird enough to be extremely likable. 

Our dear Commander, Erwin, greeted us with his left hand and invited us to come closer. He asked my soldiers to take seats along the table, and for me to sit closer to him (for easier communication between the 'authority' figures. Authority figure, my ass. I had to obey each and every one of them, including Hanji… so I didn't really feel like a strong military figure. And I didn't like to follow orders. If Erwin knew how I led my own squad, I think he'd replace me before I said 'titan'). 

Metal prosthetic braces on his right arm slightly disturbed me, but I’ve pretended not to notice his mechanical hand. What a man, and what a waste… but Erwin - even without that arm - seemed perfectly stable, kept his composure, and looked surprisingly calm… just as if nothing happened to him. Like his limb didn't matter at all. I admired him a lot for that strength. I wished I had a tenth part of it, at least, but… I guess I'll need another ten years in a military service to achieve it. 

The first place to Erwin’s left side belonged to Levi, and the other place on Erwin’s right side, to squad leader Hanji. Next to her, there were other competent figures - as that androgenic character whose name I couldn’t remember… that shorty with glasses... his name was starting with R. Or E. Roko? Rolo? Ero? Rico?? I think that's it. Rico. The last name was Brzenska, that I remembered. Well, whatever. I never liked him much. Or her, if that was a girl. Well, according to a surname, she had to be. But then… who cares.

Among others who've just arrived, was a Captain Romulo Brass. He led the South Unit of the Scouting Legion, and right beside him was Captain Gustav Lindemann, the leader of the East Unit of SL. We waited for the rest of his people to arrive from Trost, where they were stationed. The reason for all our units moving were the investigations that we had to make. Our orders were to search for the titan shifters inside of Walls and taming them, but so far, we couldn't report success. 

Erwin’s left side only had Levi from those authority figures. I guess that no one of the leaders wanted to sit next to him, knowing his personality. But, rookies did, though. They either admired him greatly since they were sitting beside him, or were hoping that he'd protect them in missions, or were ordered to just take those seats. 

One of them stood up and offered me to have a sit between him and his comrades. 

"Corporal Schwarz," he greeted me with a hand on his chest, fist curved on heart. It was our standard way of greeting. He was tall and handsome, with ashy hair and brown eyes. He was taller than me for about ten centimeters, so I lifted my head to get a better look. I was surprised that he knew my last name. Maybe that shouldn't be such a shocker to me. The under groups of the SL were not that anonymous, after all… besides, we did some splendid work, such as capturing the most wanted fugitives and all. I really should have expected to be a bit… well, famous around here. Serves me right, huh?

“Thank you, cadet…”, I began, searching through the memory. We have received reports about recruits, we had all of their data and names, but somehow I forgot which was his.

"Kirschstein," said the boy. Kirschstein. Fifteen years old. Ranked sixth in the top ten.

"Ah, yes. Jean, if I'm not mistaken?" I said, greeting him with a hand on my heart.

“Yes, Corporal. It’s an honor," he smiled pleasantly. I nodded, then moved to sit next to him, when I heard the voice of commander Erwin.

"Cadets Jaeger, Ackerman and Arlert, please move to make a room for Corporal Schwarz." I turned my head to see to whom he was addressing to. And those three… were just the ones who were sitting next to the Lance Corporal himself. Wait, no. Erwin is not doing this to me, is he? 

"No need, I can hear you just fine from here," I said as politely as possible in given situation, but I was already losing it. Erwin knew we weren't in good terms, me and that midget… and he's still telling me to occupy that place. I can't sit next to Levi. I don't want to, so I won't, and that's it. Period. 

"I don't want to repeat myself, Corporal Schwarz. Please, do as I asked," Erwin said, and I've heard a clear order behind those words.

The three of them who were called out, stood up and greeted me in silence. Then, they removed themselves from the bench. I frowned, slowly moving towards it. The damned place next to Levi. Right next to Levi, damn him. Erwin definitely did this on purpose, beside the fact that the authorities should sit close to him. What a convenient excuse. Well, f*** you, supreme Commander, sir.

Jaeger, Ackerman and Arlert moved next to Kirschstein. Mr. Bitch (*look me, I am the one man army*) Corporal did not even look in my direction. He just smoked his cigar (he started smoking again, huh?) coldly staring at some point in the distance… so I shrugged and finally took my appointed place, equally ignoring him. No big deal, we did this a lot to each other. God, how I hated it. 

Suddenly, a multitude of soldiers appeared and then sat where they could, including the representatives of the Garrison and volunteers from the Military Police.

"Welcome,” Erwin greeted, starting his speech. "I appreciate your quick responses and arrivals, even if I previously gave you other responsibilities. I've called this meeting to inform you about the latest breakthrough of Titans through the Wall Maria."

Some of us were updated about the latest development of the situation, but most of the military members were visibly shocked.

"This time, it’s not the Armored or Colossal Titan’s fault, because we have them in custody, in Underground dungeons. Our new enemy - the Ape Titan mutant who clearly possesses intelligence, has found a boulder that Cadet Jaeger used to block the entrance to Wall Maria. We believe that the creature somehow moved the boulder, and brought many titans with him again in order to crush everything before themselves and kill or eat as many people as they can. The civilians were evacuated through the gates in the wall Rose, but we had to leave certain amount of civilians to die for the salvation of the bigger number of people, again. We chased the Ape but it seems that he… or better called it, has disappeared without a trace again. Previously, it sent it's army on an exposed group of Military Police forces, who were patrolling for some transactions, and then suffered a great loss.”

The boulder wasn't the main problem here, as we all from the Scouting Legion knew. Titans were among us, and they could shift, meaning they didn't need to pass through the walls to get inside the certain area. The Ape titan possessed not only the intelligence, but the ability to talk, to climb and to lead… and that made him even scarier and more powerful than most of all other titans we've ever encountered. It probably lifted the boulder only to bring even bigger number of titans from the outside world, to finally destroy us completely. Like it wasn't terrifying enough that we already had so many titan shifters among humanity. 

We have all carefully listened to our Commander, up to the last word… although, one girl was holding a potato in her hand and chewing it while Erwin was talking. I do not know how she managed to find that and where, as no one prepared any dinner, but I must admit that in spite of the food, she was still somewhat focused on our Commander.

"The Police moved their forces back to Wall Sina. Certain amount of their members will fight tomorrow, though. Garrison also allowed volunteers to sign up for the mission, so their men can come with us and fire their cannons for the support. However, I do not expect anyone else to show up till tomorrow. I gathered you all because I wanted to ask you how many of you are willing to expose your lives for the sake of the Wall Maria, once again."

There was a silence first. Several voices began to argue at the same time. Someone even dared to start shouting at Erwin. That asshole from Romulo's squad, called Franz. He was yelling how it's insane, and that we've already tried and failed and what not. I didn't listen, I was annoyed. So, I lifted my hand.

"How many Titans are currently inside of the wall Maria?" I asked loudly, overpowering Franz's voice. (I am a great screamer, and I consider my voice one of my stronger features. It's very useful when you lead wast amounts of people into their deaths).

"The survivors have counted about twenty Titans of five meters class… and a dozen of Titans who are fifteen meters tall," he said. Oh, great... just great. This is one of those suicide missions. Whoever goes, they will lose their lives, but hey, that's exactly why we became members of the Scouting Legion. We could die a hundred times and the humanity we fought so hard for, wouldn't give a damn. We were expendable. 

It seemed that the others shared my opinion. The collective murmur grew. 

"I want you to think about this. No pressure. I will make the final decision about who will definitely go tomorrow, but if some of you want to stay inside and hide, I want you to say it… now. Be loud and clear. I'll take you into consideration, and form a group of volunteers and the most capable fighters." 

The soldiers stirred again, unsatisfied. 

"Captain, we didn't have to deal with so many titans before in such a limited space! We will all die!" someone cried. Probably someone from the Military Police. The Scouting Legion DID have to deal with all kinds of hell on daily basis. A few soldiers stood up. Among others, there was also Jean Kirschtein.

"Captain, it is true that we vowed to save the walls, to keep the civilians safe… but they left us when we ran out of men, when we lost our friends. They abolished our taxes, mocked us and our work, they even took you to court! Those bastards from the Garrison and MP too! We were like drowned mice under the tower bell - naked, hungry, with no funds for equipment and weapon, for horses! We barely had funds for food! They wanted to shut us down as a unit! They were even ready to put Cadet Jaeger to death just to feel safer. Again, why do we have to risk our lives for them any further?"

"Because they are humans, Cadet. Simple as that. We vowed that we would defend humanity, and our oath is worth more than anything - more than us, than our own lives," Erwin reminded him grimly.


	2. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**Behold! The plan is formed.** _
> 
> {This chapter was also posted on DA, where I have the profile under the same name as here. Link to the chapter: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-The-Plan-pt-2-405545590?ga_submit_new=10%253A1413844846&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 2)  
by galateabellator, Oct 6, 2013, 9:43:53 AM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance  


**PART 2 - THE PLAN - Levi x OC**

"We will do whatever you request from us, commander Erwin… but, it’s a fact that we are outnumbered," Captain Gustav said. "Just look at my men. We have been reduced to fifteen soldiers just after the last mission! No matter how hard we try, fight and resist, we just end up being eaten or smashed to the floor, or on the walls in the end… like flies! If you ask for my opinion, I say that Wall Maria is definitely lost for humanity."

"There are more than thirty titans out there, commander!" smaller cadet with a shaved head protested in disbelief.

"That’s right, cadet Springer. I'm not asking you to voluntarily jump into their mouth, your mission is the same as it'd always been… fight the titans till your last remaining breath, like you did so many times before," Erwin said calmly. Yeah, let's just kill ourselves straight away. 

"Given the circumstances, it would be better and faster if we’d just jumped into their mouth!" someone from Romulus’ unit shouted angrily. Pretty young, arrogant and furious girl… who also happened to be a splendidly good fighter.

"Despite the numbers… I’m not saying that I wouldn’t fight, Commander. People are people," cadet Springer wanted to explain himself properly.

"Commander, I have a suggestion," light - haired boy stood up. The last name was Arlert. His blue eyes were serious and focused on Erwin. His friends Jaeger and Ackermann were widely known. He himself had brilliant strategic mind, and soldiers have told me that he was able to quickly navigate in action. His plans have saved recruits multiple times while operating in the field. It was said that he rivaled even Pixies or Erwin himself in art of planning, even if his number of titan killings wasn’t great. In fact, he only killed in mass, with his strategies (and with help of other soldiers). Exquisite judgment. Resourceful and stable. Armin was very deductive person and someone like him was more than welcome in my unit.

"If we leave things as they are, the rest of the civilians will be eaten, considering that they have managed to hide from the titans, of course," said Arlert. "I suggest you send Cadet Eren Jaeger to assist with killings in his titan form…"

Jaeger was a legend. Everyone relied on him as (currently) the most powerful weapon against the Titans. Heck, Erwin even bet his right arm on that. They told me Eren was a very determined and brave guy. I looked him better. Brown hair, piercing emerald eyes. Handsome. Exotic. If I were younger, I'd have probably have a crush on him, but given our age difference, it wasn't even an option. Besides, I was always into older guys. 

The others have been quite carefree around Eren, because he was under the Levi’s command (or, rather said, control) but that didn't mean that he wasn't dangerous. 

Naturally, the older soldiers regarded him with a suspicion. They were afraid of him, even those who were closest to him. Levi’s whole squad was afraid of him, and that meant something.

"Eren was eaten during the first transformation! Ten titans cornered him and dismembered his limbs!" cried Kirschstein. ”No one can guarantee us that this time will be any different!" The guy was annoyed. A large number of soldiers was too.

"But before that, he killed at least a dozen of other titans. I think it is doable if we put Cadet Mikasa Ackerman to protect him," Arlert continued with quite positive attitude.

Mikasa Ackermann. A very unusual and beautiful girl. The first Asian women I have seen in my entire life, and perhaps the last. Black-haired, blue-gray eyes, the silent type. During the whole evening, she did not even try to speak. When we read about the recruits, she looked like someone I would love to have in the unit, especially since she was the first in rank on the list. Competent, skilled, with a special method of killing titans. Quick reflexes, and she features in all. Mikasa is a gem. She was worth a hundred of regular soldiers. She would be a great addition to the West unit of SL, but unfortunately, they all joined the Central Unit. What a pity. She and others probably heard about Levi and his worth, and they expected to learn many things from him and that he would protect them. However, in such a harsh and dangerous world, everyone keeps to themselves first and everyone is responsible for themselves only. If they expected protection from that shorty, they were terribly mistaken.

"If you form a special team of about twenty strongest soldiers, this can be done. We have Eren, who can control himself better and has faster regeneration in his titan form. We'll even be able to communicate with him while he resides inside of his titan. We have Corporal Levi and Mikasa, who can keep him stabilized and help him when needed. Mikasa can kill a lot of lower class titans, and Corporal Levi can take care of higher class types… of course, we need all that smaller units or individuals to back them up and defend them from danger and unpredictable situations. Especially from aberrant types."

"This is crazy," one soldier in the last rows muttered. "Too much risk…"

"Sounds like a great plan. Moreover, we have already implemented similar strategies and cadet Arlert has a good foundation for what he suggests," Erwin said.

"I agree, Armin, as long as you give us a couple of titans to capture and test!" Hanji added cheerfully, eccentric as usual.

"Lieutenant Zoe, it's suicide!" girl with potatoes cried. Voice of reason at that moment, so to speak, but that voice drowned in a munch that she chewed.

"Sasha, take that out of your mouth," Connie Springer warned her with a whisper.

"I would love to hear other suggestions. Please, participate," Erwin said. "Levi, what do you think about the plan of cadet Arlert?" All heads turned to the lance corporal. There was a silence, and suddenly, we were all ears. Levi looked directly to Erwin. His eyes were expressionless, per usual.

"All plans have advantages and disadvantages, and you can never know the outcome. I can't say what I think because I don't know what to think yet… but I'll do whatever you command, Erwin. I always do." His voice was cold and firm. Suddenly, he turned to me, which was totally unexpected. Our eyes met, and I felt an icy pang in my stomach that made me angry. Well, not even him, as my own reaction did. I looked away.

"Corporal Schwarz?" Erwin spoke to me. "What do you think?"

I felt all those eyes on me now, including Lance Corporal’s.

"I think that, whatever the plan is… we need to fight them. Nobody else will. I do not know about others, but I know that I won't carry innocent people on my conscience if there is a chance to save them. My unit is at your disposal, my swords as well. However, the decision is solely yours, Erwin, and if you say we sit back and leave things as they are, I will listen to you. If you say that we die tomorrow for the Wall Maria, so be it. I will back you up no matter what."

My unit counts only twelve members. We’ve lost fifty three in two years. A small number of cadets enlisted in the Legion and we had to work with a limited number of people. Nevertheless, if Erwin asked us to join him, then we will. It was our duty.

"Corporal Schwarz!” Christiana raised her hand. She was trembling. She was pale during our trip to the headquarters, but she really looked sick now. I nodded and allowed her to speak. She took a deep breath, visibly upset.

"Christiana Fitzgerald, Lieutenant Colonel of the West unit of the Scouting Legion. I want to say that I, for certain health reasons, won’t be able to fight tomorrow within the Wall Maria."

Here we go... now they will give up, one by one. I hope they won’t all be from my group, because otherwise only I will die tomorrow for the sake of higher goals… but, if I go back, I'll have to deal with punishing of deserters. I didn't want to do that stuff. It was stressful and boring, and I didn't want Christiana to be deemed a deserter… especially if Erwin plays some kind of trick with asking soldiers whether they could or couldn't fight. With Erwin, we never knew. This could easily be some kind of test. 

"I’m terribly embarrassed, but I have to ask for your permission to be excluded from this mission. This is a serious problem," said Christiana. Yes, it always is. I looked at her, but said nothing. She wasn't a coward, so this was very strange. I was disappointed a bit too, she was my right hand and never hesitated to go into battle. 

"Schwarz, I think it is fair that Lieutenant Colonel reported that she could not go. I was asking for this. I do not want anyone who is not able to fight tomorrow to be an obstacle to our goal," said Erwin.

"Hmph". 

"I hope you forgive me," Christiana repeated, bowing her head. The Commander nodded.

"Anyone else?” I asked my unit. The boys shook their heads, laying a hand on the heart. Hannah and Griselda did it too. Anastasia was reluctant, though. I was expecting her to give up, but she eventually signed in for the mission. However, I did not expect Hans to get up with Christiana. He said he was not mentally capable to cope with such pressure anymore, but that was a lie. Something was happening to them both. They were brave, responsible, with a strong sense of duty, so this was really unusual. First, I went mad, but then, I thought better. Erwin was right. It's actually okay for them not to go; at least they will not disturb fellow soldiers. Therefore, from my unit, ten members applied, which was not bad at all.

Romulo offered thirteen, because seven of his men dropped the task. From Gustav’s unit, which originally had fifteen, nine members applied. I did not bother to count volunteers from Garrison or Military Police, but Erwin did… and finally, he decided to make a smaller groups from the whole number.

"Here's the plan: Eren Jaeger, who turns into a Titan, moves ahead through the gate. Soon as we raise the gate between walls, six scouts who watch the titans from the top of the walls, notify the Group Two about the titans who are the closest to them. The scouts are: Fitzgerald, Holbein, Sohner, Gruber, Hertzstag, and Hefner. Tomorrow, they will just oversee the walls, and won’t fight. It could happen that the gate is free of the titans, but again, they can be right next to the gate, which is why we need scouts. The Garrison members will assist them.

Group Two includes cadets Jaeger, Ackerman and Kirschstein. Two subgroups protecting the Group Two in the back will consist from cadets Braus, Springer and squad leader Zoe. While Eren as titan passes the gate, Ackermann cleans his left side, and Kirschstein his right. Braus is behind Ackermann, Springer behind Jaeger and Zoe behind Kirchstein. Group Three is going to back up Jaeger, protecting him from the outside danger. The Ape titan is aberrant, it is possible that he will send someone to finish Jaeger off, or will even go after Eren himself. Group Three has a duty to fight the deviant types who deliberately go after Jaeger.

Thus, in the Group Three are: Lance Corporal Levi, who moves forward or back to assist others. He is in charge of the left wing. Assistant Corporal Schwarz is in charge of the right wing. You all have to leave enough space for Jaeger while he moves and defeats titans along the way. Only if you estimate that he is not able to defend himself, you jump in and help him by killing the enemy. For estimations, we have Arlert, who stands on Jaeger’s head or shoulder, to give him instructions and to observe the situation from all the sides. In addition to Jaeger, you protect Arlert too. Jaeger must remain Titan at all costs, and it is entirely up to you. Do you understand?"

We all nodded.

"These are the first three groups. Group Four will be led by me. It consists of a captain Brass, Captain Gustav Lindemann and Lt. Col. Branka Sonner. You understand that, without a proper right arm, I am not completely able to fight - so I'll need help from others to back me up. We are responsible for finding the Ape and all titans who are in other groups, since they will not all be in one. We will also have four subgroups to protect us, divided into four sections with a dozen soldiers who have already reported here. If necessary, they will change places. In case of multiple titan gruops, Jaeger moves from one to another, previously eliminating an entire set of titans, but not before. Are you following?"

Levi leaned on the bench, flinging his arm. I tried not to look at him, but it was practically impossible to look the other way the entire time, especially while Erwin was talking about plan.

"Commander Erwin… if the scouts put the gate of the Wall Rosa down as all soldiers get out, who will remain to protect the Wall Rosa if we are all in the Wall Maria?" girl from Gustav’s team asked.

"Those who stay here inside of the wall, the remaining military forces. They have to defend Wall Sina, regardless of whether they wanted to participate in the mission or not. But hopefully, that will not happen. As soon as Jaeger and the other soldiers pass the middle wall, gates are lowered."

Sounds reasonable, even possible to do, but still… all our previous plans sounded reasonable, even those which backfired at us. Everything was fine until we were calm and collected, while we followed the plan. But there, in the fields full of titans who are grinning at us and rushing towards us… we lose our composure. Our fear, panic and despair consume us. Titans don’t make anything easy for us. We are always surprised by something, and that something is a multitude of new skills with which we can not deal with. Sometimes I hated I joined the military. 

It would not hurt if we had a few more titans on our side, except Eren. Surely, everything would be much easier. And then I remembered something… and I was surprised that no one has tried to propose that to Erwin. It is true that the issue was sensitive, but they had to at least try.


	3. Delicate Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_The Second Strongest Soldier happens to be a woman, and she isn't afraid to speak her mind._ **
> 
> {This chapter was posted on my DeviantArt profile, under the same name I have here.  
> Link to the chapter: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Delicate-Questions-pt-3-408504338?ga_submit_new=10%253A1413845410&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 3)  
by galateabellator, Oct 20, 2013, 2:11:44 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**PART 3 - DELICATE QUESTIONS - Levi x OC**

The Commander was talking about development of plan when I decided to ask this delicate question. I raised my hand again.

"We could give a chance to those inmates who wanted to prove that they are no longer enemies to us." The silence was so sudden, it could have became a new sound.

"You mean… Berthold Hoover and Rainer Braun?" Springer asked in disbelief.

"Don’t forget the Leonhardt girl," I added stubbornly. Annie could really use a little redemption.

"That's not an option," Mikasa said suddenly, with cold and steady voice. "They are our enemies and they will be tried for their betrayal." 

"Everything would be easier if we had Armored and Colossal Titans on our side. I do hate those bastards with all my heart for what they did, you all know that. They don’t deserve forgiveness. However, they do have a set of skills, which could be useful in our mission. I can command to small groups of titans and make them kill or eat each other… but I don’t have the complete control over this power yet, so… it could be a problem," Eren Jaeger surprisingly backed me up.

"And Annie... she could lure smaller titans to her side and fight them with her skills! She's as tall as Jeager or Braun in their titan forms. She could be very helpful… " Sasha Braus started to talk, but one harsh look from Erwin made her silent in an instant.

"Their loyalty is questionable," he simply responded. “We've gone through a lot of trouble only to capture the three of them, and lost a lot of people in the process. I will not risk it all only to be betrayed again. I won’t take that chance, and that's final. Therefore, we will stick to the plan which was formed tonight."

That was enough to end the debate. I shrugged and shut up, but I did not feel comfortable. That wasn't a smart thing to suggest, but I was hoping that authorities could somehow forgive to these prisoners, because they were not entirely bad people. They all had their reasons to act as they did. There was this theory that they were even forced into horrid acts by the Ape Titan, who had the same power as Eren, so they didn't really have a choice. Reiner, Berthold and Annie… no matter how big their sins are, they still deserve to prove that they no longer present a threat to a human kind, once released from the influence of that aberrant. 

"Corporal Schwarz?" a soldier offered me a glass of wine, and I took it. Some soldiers placed the large amounts of food on the table (along with barrels of wine, the plates and glasses, large containers with soups, roasts and other delicacies).

"Em ... well... Corporal Schwarz?" Armin Arlert spoke to me, and I set my glass on the table.

"Cadet Arlert," I said.

"I wanted to thank you for suggesting Annie, Berthold and Rainer. Though in jail and although they are traitors... they were our friends, and it means a lot to me that you have, at least, tried to stand up for them. I also believe they could help us."

Mikasa snorted. Eren just said: "Thank you, Corporal Schwarz."

"Hey, can I have your loaf of bread?" Sasha Braus cried, with a crazed expression on her face, from which I jumped.

"Eee - er, yeah. Feel free," I said.

"Hey, Sasha, a little respect over here… Corporal Schwarz is someone who should be treated as lance corporal Levi himself. Don’t just jump after her food like that!" Connie Springer said.

"What’s the big deal?" Sasha was confused. "I treat him like this too." I just had to laugh in that moment. She was funny.

"I'm glad to have you with us tomorrow, corporal Schwarz… I've heard a lot about your abilities,"Jean joined the conversation.

"Thank you. Please, call me Ezra… all of you. It’s fine."

"Is it really true that you killed… more than seventy titans alone?" Armin asked. Ha, here's someone who's heard about the famous, little old me.

"I didn't count. There were too many of them," I said.

"Interested in Corporal Schwarz? Here it goes. She is twenty - six years old, her height is 1.65 meters, and her weight is around 53 kilos… give or take. She is in Recon Corps since she was seventeen, which means, she has been here for nine years (we don’t count those three preparatory years as a trainee, though). During this time, she killed eighty - six titans all by herself, and about a hundred and thirty - six titans in groups, with her West Unit members. Her squad counts over three hundred dead titans… and that's basically all you need to know about Corporal Schwarz," said Hanji, leaning across the table.

"Do not forget that she is the second Corporal in strength. And all these are facts, supported by the files we have in database," Romulo added, always the polite one.

"The third in strength, actually. Mike was the second. I am still not skillful as he ever was, and I doubt that I will be in a near future. So, stop speaking so highly of me in front of the cadets, or they will truly have high expectations of me tomorrow," I said. Not that those two were not right, but people have a tendency to overestimate me.

"No need to be modest, Ezra. It doesn't suit you," the one I would least expected spoke to me. The annoying midget. His voice was somehow firm, but soft at the same time. I couldn't tell whether he was trying to mock me or to flatter me. 

"I am not modest," I said. God forbid. "I just think that eighty – six is pretty standard figure if we take into account that I have spent about eight years in the Scouting Legion." And don’t talk to me.

"Standard?" he repeated coldly.

"It's still about a hundred and fifty killings behind you, isn't it?" I said.

"Jealous much?" he sounded phlegmatic. He took a sip of hot black tea, his favorite kind.

"Not jealous, you little prick. I am realistic," I said angrily. Realistic… or I was trying to be. Levi kept on being cool in front of the cadets, like my swearing didn't bother him. Eren gave us an amazed look. (What, nobody from the entire squad dared to insult Levi? Hah, he was a dangerous shrimp after all).

"You two know each other?" Eren asked enthusiastically. About time someone figured that out.

"We were in the same unit once, she was the part of the Special Operations' Squad," Levi said, "but I do not see how that matters, brat."

Yeah, shorty, neither do I. 

"I am just… I'm glad to have soldiers of your caliber by my side, sir. It makes me feel confident about our mission." 

"Hmm." Levi took another sip. I turned to Eren and raised my glass. He raised his.

"Cheers, boy. Tomorrow is a big day, and you have a huge responsibility," I said, my glass with wine approaching his own. He smiled.

"To Jeager!" I yelled, making the shortest toast ever. Some loud, enthusiastic shouts joined me. Soldiers raised their glasses and cups, or pints of beer, or other drinks, and we all drank for his health, and the success of the mission.

"To titans!" cried Hanji. Someone tried to shut her up, but she just giggled out loud. She was, after all, a scientist who is committed to her guinea pigs.

"To life and liberty! To wings of freedom!" it was Erwin's turn. We all drank up, again, and finally started to eat. Everyone suddenly gathered around our table, so I found myself uncomfortably pinned between Levi and Armin. Levi didn't speak at all, but Armin wouldn't stop talking, which wasn't tiring at all because he spoke beautifully and it was really interesting.

Well, I was updated with many things. I even learned the story about Eren and Mikasa's past. That explained why she was so attached to him and why they are always together. But again, it could be something more. A girl's heart is always for a shade more romantic than a boy's. I knew from my own example. Boys are always slow when it comes to love. 

I took another sip of wine, which was melting all over my tongue… and soon traveled down to my belly. My cup was emptied in a second. I wanted to add some more, when someone's arm brushed against mine as we both reached for the same bottle. I caught Levi's eyes from a side, he was looking at me with his neutral face. Suddenly, I felt a heat stroke and I put the glass down on a table, ignoring surprising increase of breathing. Calm down, Ezra. It's just the wine. It has nothing to do with this midget.

"Corporal Schwarz, what is your way of fighting? Is there any special technique that you use?" Jean asked me, and I guess that I can say that only those words saved me from any further thoughts. "After so many titans killed, you must have a special way of dealing with them."

Oh, I do. 

"I wouldn't call it a special technique or anything… it's more a derivative mode of fighting from lance Corporal Levi’s manner of work, since he taught me," I acknowledged reluctantly. This left them utterly shocked.

"Really, Lance Corporal, sir? You taught Miss Ezra?" Sasha Braus asked fatuously, and took his bowl with salad and started to eat with her own fork. She ignored his sharp eyes, as he neglected to answer to her question… or to any further discussion. Gustav invited him to talk about some matter on the side, so they removed themselves from our presence. The cadets felt somehow relieved, judging by their behavior, which was more relaxed. They started to chat more with me and begged me to tell them something about my training time with Levi. It seems that he was particularly interesting man to them. 

"Corporal had very effective methods of bullying when I came to the squad. As the one most incompetent, I immediately caught his attention and he started to mistreat me in order to improve me. I was so embarrassed when I failed my 3d maneuver gear test in front of him that I had to learn how to use it properly… and then even had to ask for a special exam in front of a commission just to prove that I have learned how to use it. I've barely passed.”

They seemed to find these words hard to believe. 

“Special pain in the ass was also the fact that we had to deal with double blades. I've barely even held a kitchen knife before, yet alone a titan-killing blade. Not to mention two of them. Who would have thought that I would become an ambidextrous fighter? After my sessions and training with corporal (who was only a squad leader back then) I've had such an inferiority complex that it took me a really long time to overcome it and achieve even average results. Of course, all that time I had a very strong urge to kill him." Several cadets laughed, thinking that was a quip.

"That part hasn't changed much, if I may add," even Erwin laughed. He obviously listened to my little speech. "Come on Ezra, it wasn't that bad. He made a fierce one out of you, so you shouldn't complain… at least, out of a courtesy".

"I'm not complaining, Erwin, I’m merely telling how the things were back then. Levi knows that he used to be a jerk to me. It’s not gossiping, and it’s nothing new to him," I turned to my former coach, who was standing next to my head. He looked me as if I was a cockroach, but then sat down next to me. Again. I guess he considered that spot to be his personal territory… and it seemed it was invaded by the despicable me. Well, screw him - he can keep his spot, and Erwin, and his squad and everything. I was careful not to let our hands touch when he invaded my own personal space. 

"I know that you fell on your lazy ass at least ten times while you were learning how to use the wire… and at least five times on the head. Without any grace, if I may add. I am surprised you aren't retarded by now," Levi had to be an asshole. "Plus, the exercises with your left arm were so painful to deal with, that I thought that you would probably learn how to use your feet sooner, comparing to that left hand.” 

"Well, I've learned… both hands and both feet, Lance Corporal. Otherwise, I wouldn't be in your rank now," I said, and some cadets were now openly staring at me. I was bold to address him that way. I know that I owe him a lot, but I owe much, much more to myself. Those were my efforts and my commitment, after all. I will not allow him to take that away from me.


	4. Priorities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_Two Corporals in the wrong room. The Universe really has a weird sense of humor._ **
> 
> {This chapter was also posted on my DeviantArt profile, under the same name. Link to it here: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Priorities-pt-4-408764782?ga_submit_new=10%253A1413845855&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 4)  
by galateabellator, Oct 21, 2013, 7:02:05 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance  


**PART 4 - PRIORITIES - Levi x OC**

"Captain Erwin, what can you tell us about techniques that Corporal Schwarz uses?” a girl from Romulus' squad asked… her name was Loma Heyes. She was interested to hear. I knew her from the missions which I took with Romulo and our units, but she has never seen me in combat as we were usually in different squad groups. I bit a piece of a baked potato, and looked at Erwin, curious to hear how he will describe me.

“When it comes to Ezra, all I can really say is that she uses a surprise as an element to gain advantage. With Levi, for example, you have an exceptional speed and quick reflexes. He is known by these features. Of course, he uses a surprise element too, but Ezra… she is the real deal when it comes to that. She is very unpredictable, to the point that she herself doesn't know what she will do until she does it. I would call it a quick improvisation.” 

Well said, Erwin. I am a mystery to myself sometimes. 

“Let me give you a few examples. Once, she used the technique of parallel cross. It is a very hard thing to do physically, but she managed. She was after an Aberrant. Two half turns, one from above and one from a side, and then repeated from the opposite directions. Then, there’s the "reverse V“ technique, a clean cut from above, and then from down. The slice has a shape of a rhombus. Ezra frequently changes her ways of cutting, in relation to the type of titan and the danger she estimates," he said. 

“Don't forget her team captured Reiner Braun,” Armin pointed out. The Armored Bastard. Yeah, I did capture him, but via very unusual strategy, and with Hanji's special little drug.

I smiled. It sounded a hell lot more complicated than it really was. The combination of techniques they say, but it was rather a fight for a mere survival. The fear, from which I was forced to improvise, made me create a certain template which I could follow later in other battles. I've never had Levi’s security in movements or his preciseness, his strength or his perfect aim, but by my own two hands kept me alive up until now. I hope that tomorrow will be the same, because otherwise I will become titans’ food.

“Come on, Erwin! Those are boring! If I can recall, Ezra was the only cadet who ever used the trick with strangulation. She is the only soldier who managed to kill a titan with a wire. Remember? She surrounded it twice, put a wire around its neck… and then pulled the titan right to the ground with some cadets who assisted her…", Hanji remarked, "… although I do not approve that you have slayed it that brutally, you should have left it to my squad for experimenting."

"It wanted to bite me, what was I supposed to do? If I didn't cut his head off, I wouldn't have mine either. The nape of the neck afterwords was a standard procedure, after all. I made sure that that creepy son of a bitch no longer eats anyone." 

It was a four-meter class, may the Walls rest its soul. The trick with wire would fail if he was any bigger, and if he wasn't the deviant type titan with a very thin neck. I guess that I was that good in estimations. Erwin did judge my abilities well. 

Levi didn't say a thing to praise me, even if he was present on some of those missions. 

I've eaten until I was completely filled. I will need a lot of strength for tomorrow, a lot of power too. I poured another glass of wine.

"We've prepared your rooms. You and your squad are on the first floor of the west part, and you can go rest whenever you like," Erwin said to me, a gentle smile added in those words. "Sleep is the best thing for the troops before the battle." 

I nodded, wondering how many soldiers will actually sleep tonight.

"Corporal Schwarz, can we talk for a moment?" Christiana approached me. She seemed anxious and embarrassed. I stood up from the table, and went with her into the hallway outside the room where the meeting took place. A perfect timing for a lecture.

"I'm really sorry," she said, under a deep pressure from my reaction. So… I've changed my mind. The critiques will not make her feel worse than it is now, and will not change the situation. No use to be a harsh bitch to her, it won’t change anything. 

"I know, let it go. I could see that something was wrong while we were travelling, but I forced you to come anyway. The fault is all mine, I figured that…", I was blabbering, when…

"I'm pregnant," Christiana whispered, biting her lip.

"You're… what?" I repeated in disbelief.

"I'm pregnant, Ezra… that's why I can't fight tomorrow. I'm… afraid."

My Lt. Col. is pregnant. Oh, Gosh. I wanted to whistle.

"Congratulations, I guess… this is a good news," I said. I could not help but smile. She was very nervous and excited. 

"Is it Hans's?" I wanted to know, being the part of the most 'gossipy' squad (well, it was the only squad which had that many girls in one place - there were five of them, excluding me. Another five members of my squad were all boys/men, though, so the West Unit was pretty balanced, in my humble opinion). Hans, huh? 

She blushed. I literally screamed from laughter. "I just knew it!"

"Please… don’t tell to others… "

"Come on, it’s not like I am going around gossiping about someone’s love life." Besides, everyone else already knew, it’s not as if it was a secret among us. Hans was crazy about her ever since she came to the unit. 

"I totally understand your reasons. You won't have to fight tomorrow… no, you won't have to fight for a year, minimum. I'll send you to your parents within the Wall Sina. Hans can join you if he wants. I will give the permission. But you know how guys like to stick to their principles and their masculine pride. However, you have to take care of this baby, God knows that we need more cadets in the unit," I joked about it.

"I wouldn't leave you in the lurch, you know that. But I am so… afraid… "

"Shhhh. No fear. Tomorrow, you'll be on safe location, and you'll only report. No fighting. No danger." I took her hands. "Don’t worry about the unit, we'll manage. So far, we have protected ourselves well. We are strong squads, and we have Erwin to lead us… and everybody else.”

"Thank you," she hugged me, on the verge of crying.

"There, there, you aren't a crybaby, even if you are going to have one. Now, does he know?" I asked. Hans seemed clueless. 

"Not yet… I'm afraid of his reaction."

"You're going to tell him now. He definitely suspected something when he applied to stay with you. You have nothing to be afraid of, really."

I practically forced her to go back to the hall, right to her lover. 

"Oh yes… before I forget… please, tell others about our rooms here, will you? We are in the western tower, on the first floor. I'm going to finish my dinner, and get some sleep… so I don’t want to be disturbed. Make them know that, I am not in the mood to hang out with them tonight… and make sure no one remains uninformed about those beds.”

She nodded. That part was done, at least. I went back to finish my meal. Fortunately, Levi was not in sight. I joined the table again because of Erwin, besides the food. He was fixing his metal fingers in order to hold a fork. He was getting really good with those braces. I was not going to get soft because of that. I knew better than to feel pity for this man. We still had something to discuss. 

"You deliberately put me next to him, right?"

"Deliberately. Whatever happened between you two before… I want you to fix it for once”. 

He didn't even try to deny it. 

“Well, I guess it’s not as easy as it may seem.”

“It’s easier than you would think, Ezra. You need to get a grip. I know that he is a hard man to deal with, but you were close once. I am sure that you can sort the things out. And I do not refer to those lousy conversation starters. You need to sit down and talk profoundly until you both find a common ground.” 

"Listen to me carefully, Erwin. You may be the supreme Commander of the Scouting Legion, but you will not butt into this matter. It’s not your problem.”

"But it is, Ezra. And no, I don’t refer to you as your Commander, but as a friend… and it gives me the right. If anything, I know you didn't have to run away from him to another unit."

"What's done is done. Some things can never be fixed again."

"You're not even going to try.”

"No. It’s not like he will do anything about that either," I said to him. "Besides… it's too late."

I got up from the table, losing all my remaining appetite. Erwin was going to say something, but I was bold enough to stand up and just walk away. I heard the noise soldiers made while I was climbing the stairs to my room. Well, one of the rooms. I just wanted to crush into bed and to get some sleep. My feet and legs hurt from riding, and the wine worked its way through my entire organism. I needed to lie down and not to think about anything. Especially not about him.

"Ezra." That voice sent shivers down my spine. I was petrified. You must be kidding me! Why are these things happening? Why must I happen to be near him in such a spacious house? Why must I meet the only person I would like to entirely avoid? I bet that, if I actually wanted to meet him or something, that I wouldn't. The Universe has a weird sense of humor. 

He was leaning against the wall, with his hands crossed on his chest, and one leg bent at the knee.

“Levi,” I sounded strict when I answered. I passed him, and opened the door of the first room that happened to be there. My heart was pounding like crazy, probably because of the numerous stairs which I had climbed to reach this place. And maybe I was just lying to myself. 

"You wanted something?" he appeared right behind me. God, what was he thinking? 

"What do you want, heichou?" I asked, ready to fight over stupidities if necessary. 

"This is my room," he simply answered, leaving me in a dumb state.

I looked up at the place. Bed, window, cabinet… common things, but there were also someone’s 3DMG, stuff and accessories. Straight to his room, heh? Well done, girl. Well done.

"I… Erwin said that our rooms were prepared here, so… forget it, it was a mistake anyway."

"So, let me figure this… you came to specifically this room by a complete accident?” he mocked. 

“Believe it or not, it wasn't on purpose. I am sure I’d do better somewhere else.”

I turned to walk out through the front door, wanting to leave this damned place as soon as possible… but he blocked me. The hell? He really wants to fight with me all over again? I looked him insolently. He wasn't as short as I previously thought. Moreover, he was surprisingly close to my own height. What the f*** does he want now?

“What's the hurry, Ezra?” he challenged, looking me straight into the eyes. 

"Get out of my way. I mean it," I threatened him. He understood.

"Make me, bitch."

Oh, I will, you little prick. I pushed him hard with both hands, thrusting deep into his shoulders. I sent him a few distant steps back. I almost passed next to him, but he immediately regained his balance and violently pushed me back to my previous place, and farther into the room. I stumbled, almost falling on my butt, but I somehow managed to stay on my feet. We started to fight, and to wrestle. He was very fast. He hit me really hard on few occasions, I hit him likewise. I managed to get to his neck and gripped him tightly. I was starting to choke him, and his face turned red, but he suddenly grabbed my arm and threw me over his shoulder. I hit the floor in one harsh, painful movement. My back and my head hurt like hell. I tried to stand up, but felt somewhat dizzy, so I just gave up and focused on calming down. 

He slammed the door behind him and leaned onto the wooden surface. He removed few locks of hair from his forehead, and shook a dust from his clothing while I was breathing heavily. 

"You proved yourself. Again. You're better than me, for a hundredth time. Now, let me go."

I was furious. My hands were shaking and I wanted to scream at him. I didn't do well with defeat. He surpassed me, all over again, and it ruined me… but God, this felt so good in some weird way. I didn't have the proper fight with a human being in ages. I wasn't beaten up in ages too (it's not as if I wanted to be either).

"For a hundredth time, it's not the issue here, and you know it, Ezra."

"And what's the issue? Enlighten me." I sat on the edge of the bed, since we broke the chair, and I crossed my legs. I waited. 

"Tomorrow, we will fight side by side. Don't do anything crazy, and don't be a hero. Don’t jump in front of titans just because you think you can defeat them all by yourself. You are reckless, and I can’t protect you if I have to protect Eren at the same time. He is too valuable."

And I wasn't. This is not the first time that he insinuated how low I was on the list of his priorities. Well, it's not like I was surprised or anything, but it still hurt me. And when I am hurt, I get devious. 

"I don’t need you to protect me. You tried to protected Petra, Aulio, Erd and Günter, and we all know how that ended." I struck him where I knew it would hurt, and it hit him harder than any punch. I could be a total bitch and bring out Farlan and Isabel, but I already went too far with mentioning his late squad anyway. 

"Tch… you just had to say it, bitch." He returned his icy mask in a split second. I continued to talk. 

"I am not your concern. Maybe I was a long time ago, but not anymore. I've kept myself safe well enough on my own. I'm a big girl. I can handle things. Don't you ever forget that."

He looked at me blankly. "Those are exactly the thoughts of my former squad. All of them believed that they could protect themselves, but that simply wasn't true. Petra, Aulio and Erd have even died operating in a well-organized team, not as individual soldiers. If we run into aberrant types tomorrow, I want you to be steady and to follow the plan. I will not take other risks, so… stay close."

Close to what? Him?

"Protect who you have to protect, Levi… but not me. I am much more capable than you think. I'm the second Corporal in command now. You've managed to capture the Colossal Titan, but I've captured the Armored one. Me, and my team. I think it says something about my abilities. Don't forget that I am the second in line of soldiers behind you, and don't doubt me."

"No one questions your abilities… but your judgment."

"See, that’s the _very thing I get praised for by the others_ , yet you consider it flawed. Don’t bother to warn me how to act tomorrow, or I will start to think that you actually care," I provoked him.

"You don’t actually believe that I don’t care, do you?" he asked.

Oh, I believe. But, that doesn't mean a damn thing.


	5. The Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_What haunts you in the past, will haunt you in the future too. She knows it better than she'd like to admit._ **
> 
> {This chapter is posted on my DeviantArt profile as well. Check it out here: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-The-Tension-pt-5-408856182?q=gallery%3Agalateabellator%2F46150061&qo=2}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 5)  
by galateabellator, Oct 22, 2013, 9:53:30 AM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**PART 5 - THE TENSION - Levi x OC**

"Don’t worry, Lance Corporal. I'll do my duty and I will stick to the plan." 

I'll stay close to you, midget, even if it costs me my life - because it’s the only way I know. It's been that way for the longest period of my existence anyway. 

"That's all I wanted to hear." Levi stepped away from the door, heading towards the window. This meant that I could go wherever I want. I should have. But something made me try to talk to him, damn me. Even if I wanted to stay angry and not to say a thing to comfort him, I still felt that urge… that little need to try to penetrate his own walls - even when in the past I was never successful.

I just need to admit it, at least to myself if not him. I missed him. I missed him more than anybody else in this hectic world, but being away from him was the only way I knew how to hurt him.

"I want to hear something, before I leave," I said, getting up. I approached him from behind. I was looking for the words, because it was not easy to formulate that kind of question. I finally gathered the courage.

"Was she… really supposed to marry you?" That sentence cost me a lot. I've felt defeated only by saying it. My heart froze from the anxiousness. My voice trembled, like never before in these past four years. 

He just stood there, without a single sound, without any movement. He was like a statue. But I wanted to know, I needed to know. "Have you really lost the love of your life and still haven’t shed a single tear?"

Levi turned to me, taken aback as I asked him so openly. 

"The love of my life? So, that’s how people talk about it, huh?"

He seemed to have expected those kind of conclusions, and just accepted them that way.

"People like us keep losing the ones they love. Our job is to get used to it and accept it as calm as we can. This is such a world. The suffering does not facilitate loss. We gain nothing from shedding tears. The pain does not return the dead, no matter how hard we tried to comfort ourselves by mourning them. But, since when are tears the measure of pain, Ezra?"

"Since the world exists. Crying helps. How long are you going to keep those emotions to yourself? You will break, you know. Not today, not in twenty years, but you will eventually break. And it’s ok. You don’t have to stay strong all the time."

"I will not insult them with tears. The pain… it can tear me apart… but I will not cry."

That’s Levi for you. He has always been a real soldier, a fighter who pushes his own feelings in the darkest pit of his soul, who suppresses every pain, who survives the losses and bravely and decisively moves forward. He never cried like a woman, he clenched his teeth and his heart, and manifested his pain through anger in battles. The perfect soldier for killing titans. The perfect hero for human kind, though not by his own choice.

Our grudges aside… I admired him, greatly. He was… everything that I wanted to be. I was wondering what I should do next. Eventually, I walked up to him and hugged him. Tightly. I haven't for a long time. He winced as if he might reject me, but he stayed there. He let me embrace him and did nothing to stop me. 

"I'm sorry for your squad. Sincerely sorry. I was shocked when I found out. I know you cared about her. About all of them." Whatever happened in the past between us… his pain bothered me. His loss hurt me too. It’s not that he should know about this, though. It completely ruined me from the inside when I heard that they had all died. Erd. Gunther. Aurio. Even Petra. And, I was especially worried after hearing that he was nowhere to be found, so everyone in my unit presumed that he was eaten by the Female Titan and reported falsely to me. I went completely apathetic, completely numb. I thought how we didn't get to settle our matters. He didn't get to hear what I had to say. I couldn't believe that he was dead, he out of all people out there. But, then he appeared with Jaeger, Ackerman, Erwin and others, retrieving the boy. I sighed with relief, but, I felt like a complete idiot too for believing into that news in the first place. He was resupplying. That's all. 

"We gain nothing from our regret, don’t we?" he asked. It seemed like he wanted to say something more, but he remained silent. He shut into himself, all over again.

Suddenly, I realized how stupid I must look with my current behavior. He ordered the throwing of bodies of his fallen comrades from moving carriage, right in front of titans, as if it was nothing. Her body too. What must be done, he does without any hesitation or reluctance. He never allows his pain to break him; he acts as if he is not moved. He was so stubborn that sometimes I wanted to cry his sorrow instead of him. 

Don’t be a fool, Ezra. Let him go. He meant every word, we really do not gain anything from our regrets.

"We don’t," I agreed. We looked at each other for a while. All the memories began to revive. All the suppressed emotions which I usually ignored returned to make me cry and scream, all the pent-up anger that I felt towards him suddenly increased twice. And my need to be what I've been to him doubled up too. 

I need to get out, right now. I'm probably drunk and I am talking rubbish, I wander the paths of memory lane that I thought I have forgotten long ago. It hurts me too much. His pain hurts as much as my own does… and I am bothered by it. I am also bothered by his silence. But we are trying. Aren't we? 

There you have it, Erwin… it looks like we settled what we had to solve tonight… just like that. We are talking again. We are trying to reach to one another. No, I am trying to reach out to him. Again. But that was better than leaving things like they previously were.

Murmur was heard behind the door, footsteps in the hallway and on the stairs. The Army is preparing to go to bed, mine as well as his. Steps, steps, steps. They rang in my ears, like back when I was a kid going to watch the march of Survey Legion. 

Soldiers courageously walked under the banner of the wings of freedom. They acted together and supported each other. Maybe this is the last night that we are all alive. Every battle is a potential end. Regardless of my ability, his ability… many things can go wrong. We may run out of gas. We may be smashed like flies while we fly by our 3D maneuver gears. The blades may dull, or break. Someone will die for someone else. Others will bear the guilt of the survivors. How long can we endure this hell?

As I walked toward the front door, I watched the shadows of troops. They danced under the orange light of flares. They seemed so unreal… so far away. How many of them will not come back tomorrow?

"Decide whether you want to stay or go," Levi’s voice startled me. A few steps forward and I'll get out. A few steps back and it will be a terrible mistake.

"Does that mean that I can stay?” I replied, not looking back at him.

"If you want."

He descended to the ledge, closing the blinds and the window. Cold airflow stirred as he moved towards me. I could not move.

"I want us to be children again," I whispered. I felt his hand on mine. I did not realize how frantically I was holding the handle. He put a finger to polished brass, and then closed the door for me, leaving us in darkness.

"Well, I don't want that," he said. I felt a hand on the back of my head where my hair was tied up. The tips of those long fingers clasped around the elastic band, and the rubber slid down a long thread. My hair scattered over my back, over my shoulders… the longest hair in the whole Western Unit. He passed his fingers through my black locks, and my heart stopped beating automatically. He stroked me. Again.

"We were starving. We were barefoot and naked, it was cold and we had to steal and kill to survive. They kicked us as they would kick stray dogs, and insulted us, cursed us and beat us. We have not exactly been the happiest children. I wasn't and you weren't, and I know it better than you do. After all, I am older," he continued to talk. We were not, it was really true, but when you're a kid, you don’t look things only that way. We had our good moments too.

He moved one strand from my face. I blushed. Darkness may hide my shame, but it could not hide the heart rhythm that threatened to destroy me. My legs were losing stability. I had to take a deep breath. Why are you suddenly acting like this, heichou?

"H - hey, you can't… " I whispered. His hands closed around my waist and he touched my belt buckle.

"The best thing that ever happened to us was definitely the Scouting Legion," he said. Is he… is he really… 

"Because you were immediately crowned as the best and the brightest among your unit," I offered a reason, though I was aware he didn't think about that. "You're such a rampant egomaniac…"

"Wrong remark, Ezra. I was referring to something else." 

He wanted to say, don’t play dumb. We knew each other too well for you to be that ignorant. I blushed even deeper. I have put my fingers around his wrists, trying to remove his hands from my waist.

"What do you want? What are you trying to do, Levi?" I evoked again. I challenged him. The realization made me quite shocked, because it was too soon for him to think that… 

This arrogant son of a…

"What I want is very simple. If we were children, we couldn't do it." He said it. He truly said it. I thought I could die of embarrassment.

"Someone's going to get in here… someone is going to look after you… or me… ", I muttered, on the edge of audibility.

"This would be your last chance to run away then, wouldn't it?" he reminded me. Indeed, you scum. Breathe, Ezra. Breathe. 

"I'm not looking for an opportunity to escape. It's just… "

"Let them come if they want," Lance Corporal said in a phlegmatic manner. He then turned the key in the lock. "This will keep them away." He pressed me against the door, nailing my back to the polished oak, and turned me toward him. He brought his face dangerously close to mine.

"Don't tell me… " I began, my voice trembling again.

"Yes. You've no right to complain, Assistant Corporal Schwarz. You came to me at your own risk."

Years have passed since I've heard that sentence. Instead of "corporal", I was "cadet", but these very words were used to start something that we did not mention to others. Ever.

It shouldn't be surprising, really… I was madly in love with him. We were inseparable. Even when he treated me like a silly girl, when he was harsh and rude, I felt that he secretly harbored a liking to me. I've always got a bigger portion when we shared food, or better rags to cover ourselves (instead of blankets). A healthy apple instead of a rotten one. A glass of water when there was none for him. He dragged me with him since he found me roaming in the Underground District, still a toddler, all dirty, all terrified, crying in the corner of the darkest alley. We shared a bread, and that's how it started. I followed him everywhere, even if he wasn't delighted with the idea. 

Well, he was pissed, to be precise, but I was the persistent one. I have always been. Even when he yelled and threatened to beat me, I still wouldn't leave his side. 

He was around ten years older than me, and I had seen him as an older brother. Later, I've regarded Farlan that way too. Isabel was like a sister, of course, and I believe that I inherited a part of her enthusiasm about certain things. She was a great influence. The three of them took care of me for the biggest part of my childhood, but I've met Levi first, so I've bonded with him the most. He took me with him wherever he went. And though he had never said it, I felt that he was worried about me. I was the closest thing to family for him, back then, among with his loyal friends. 

He always defended me when someone else bullied me. He would slap those brats, yell at them, or warn them to back off. He once got beaten up for me, when I stole jewelry from a rich woman in the wall Sina. I was only five years old when that happened. He was 

'Our' (well, it was more him than me) thug life transformed him into a capable and daring fighter, who even manage to steal his first 3d maneuver gear and mastered it to perfection. Isabel and Farlan also trained gear with him, it was very funny to watch. But I was too young for that, so I've just watched, wishing that one day, I could to that too.

The three of them were caught by Erwin sometimes after… and he kinda blackmailed Levi to join the Scouting Legion (either that, or they would have been sent to the Military Police). His choice was evident. Or so I have thought before learning the truth. 

Well, since he had already mastered the basics of maneuver gear, he didn't need additional training. He quickly rose from cadet to the position of the squad leader. He was the best, and remained that way.

Of course, he left me when he joined the army. He could not take me with him. And not soon after they've all joined the Legion… we lost Isabel and Farlan. It deeply affected me, and I could only imagine how he felt when they died before his eyes. He was devastated. He was ruined, and I couldn't do much to help him. Those wounds were… and still are the hardest to mend. 

As for me - I've lived in an orphanage after he signed into the Recon Corps, and mostly stayed there until I've turned twelve. The next three years, I've spent with a certain person who watched over me. In that period, the age limit got down and the military started accepting younger cadets in training, due to the breach of Wall Maria.

I've immediately signed up, which only infuriated Levi after he found out. It was painful for him… to go through that all over again, to have someone close to him getting into that kind of risk without even asking for his approval. But, I felt I didn't need one, as long as I could be next to him. I was selfish like that. I wanted to be near him, even if that meant hurting him in emotional way, because we were close and he didn't want me to live such a dangerous life and sacrifice myself for humanity. He wanted to save me from all that crap. 

But, I didn't want to stay safe and sound if that meant never seeing him again. Besides, it wasn't only me who was in the constant danger of titans. He risked it all too, and never thought about how that affected me, even as a small child. I guess that he was selfish in his own way too. 

Of course, I needed the solid three years of practice after enrolling the military, but every effort I've made was one step closer to Levi. We argued a lot about it… he wanted me to drop out, or to enter the Garrison after graduation. I've reconsidered those ideas, a few times when I was thinking I won't have the necessary qualities to became a decent soldier (I was on a verge of being incompetent, in the beginning) but never gave up on my previous plan. 

The tension started in a training camp. Suddenly, I began to see him differently from my childhood protector and a brother figure. It was wrong. It was odd. I was sure I was not supposed to feel that way, but that's the catch. You don't get to chose your feelings. 

God, I was so bold. 

I was growing up, so all the things were becoming more and more difficult. It became impossible to go to the bathroom together, to lie next to each other. Suddenly, it was all… so shameful. I started to challenge him, to insult him, to force him to compete with me. We walked away from each other, only to be reunited, although he was bored to endure the teenage period I was going through. 

He became a Corporal, one of the highest ranking officers within the army, while I was completely incapable of over-coming the uptitude test, not because I couldn't handle the basics, but because I couldn't get used to operate in the third dimension. 

So, Levi worked out with me, frantically, saying that I'm weak and that I have to concentrate. He told me to give up and live a normal life outside the military, many times… but I was only offended by those words. I couldn't have a normal life in Sina anyway. Nothing was waiting for me there, and especially not him. And I couldn't let go of him. 

Along the way, my frustration grew to abnormal proportions, and I did not know what to do anymore. I kept crying, and he was always rude, cold, and arrogant, but that attitude of his somehow made me… defiant. Made me stronger. He grew distant towards me and I was desperate, but I didn't want to show it in front of him. Nothing was the same anymore. Something between us fundamentally changed, and I grew to hate it… but I kept those feelings inside. That desperation… my tears… my pain… I've kept it all inside, hidden behind the cold expression I'd usually put on, only to pretend that his behavior didn't affect me. But, it has all piled up, and I was about to explode. 

Until I have finally found the way to throw everything out of my system…


	6. The Secret Only The Two Of Us Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_It was rather unusual solution for a mutual frustration, which produced quite... graphic memories of a history which threatened to be repeated._ **
> 
> {This chapter is also posted on my DeviantArt profile. Check it out here: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-That-Secret-Of-Ours-pt-6-409326316?ga_submit_new=10%253A1413847426&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1 }

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 6)  
by galateabellator, Oct 24, 2013, 6:56:24 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**PART 6 - THE SECRET THAT ONLY THE TWO OF US KNOW - Levi x OC**

It happened while I was still a trainee, and while I was in the third year. The Scouting Legion members were sent to look over our daily routine. I was very nervous, because he was among the captains. He followed my progress up until then, so I wanted to make him proud and to prove that I was fit for the role of a soldier.

That day couldn't have gone more wrong. I have barely passed the tests, made a fool out of myself… I even managed to be even lousier than usual. I was greatly disturbed after that, but he didn't seem to be surprised by my marks. I've passed, God knows how, and stayed a rookie… but my discomfort grew from day to day. In front of others, I had decent results. In front of him, I was absolutely incapable. I couldn't help it. He was becoming the humanity’s strongest, yet I was headed to became humanity's utterly useless-est. I felt like a crap. 

I waited after another daily practice to call him to an empty warehouse. I wanted to explain some things to him, but we started to argue instead. He accused me of not making enough effort and said that I would die if I ever get out behind the walls. He wanted me to leave the unit. I refused. He shouted at me, and in the end told me to do whatever I wanted to do with my life and that I am no longer his concern. I was on the verge of tears, but I didn't shed any. I just stood there, hands turned into fists. However, it wasn't the punch that I gave him… it was a kiss. 

I kissed him, quite sloppy. I really had guts back then. Or maybe I should just say that I was bold.

"Ezra!"

He was completely shocked. I gripped him, not allowing him to slip away. I become stronger and I've already got taller, but he easily separated me from him when he came to his senses. I expected him to yell at me again, to tell me that he only regarded me as a little sister, that I’m confused, or that I'm too young for him. I expected a blast, a warning, an order to never do that again. And what not. However… 

"You are a lousy kisser," he said. He pulled my hair and kissed me so roughly, that I recoiled. My stomach flipped over with tension. My lips were burning. 

"You don’t know what you are getting yourself into, you brat," he said, separating from me for just a moment. He licked his lips and grabbed me again. I thought I would start to radiate from embarrassment. I panicked and separated myself from him, by force. If I didn't get a heart attack then, I think I never will. 

"Do that again, and you will see what I am capable of," he threatened. "I will not let it go smoothly like this. Go now."

I ran away. I avoided him for a long time after that, and he avoided coming to our training. Members of the SL stopped coming to the camp in general, and we rookies had to improve ourselves further without their help. I had practiced a lot and improved myself dearly. When we come to choose the affiliation, I seriously considered the Military police. In the end, I chose what I’d have chosen anyway, and immediately got him for my superior. Erwin was doing some serious foreshadowing back than. 

*****

My first, real expedition came when I was seventeen. I mean real, because that was the first one where I've got to fight. I was absolutely terrified. I have not managed to kill a single titan, and I was deeply ashamed. Something was wrong with my gear. I survived just because Levi found himself in the right place at the right time... or I would just hang from my wires, paralyzed, waiting to slip in the monster's mouth as it already held me for my ankle. The titan had suddenly fallen, and Levi caught me just in time, before I hit the ground. No one was to be blamed, but I felt terrible.

I searched for him in the Headquarters later that evening to thank him for saving me and to leave him my resignation. I didn't feel that I have helped in any way, or proved to be a good soldier, so I was ready to switch my affiliation and go to Garrison. I didn't want to endanger anyone by my own incompetence anymore, and especially not him. The Scouting Legion was too much for me to handle.

He was in one of the rooms. I walked in without knocking. He was wearing only trousers and had a towel around his neck. Just finished showering. His hair was disheveled, and some drops ran down his hair. As soon as he saw me, he wrapped himself in a white shirt and invited me to sit next to him, with a slow pat of his hand. The cup of black tea was steaming on the table. He has poured some of it to me too, and waited for me to start talking. I did not know how. I looked into a ceramic cup, which doubled up from the tears that I held in my eyes.

"I'm embarrassed about what happened today," that was how I begin. "Thank you for saving me, Captain... but I think I've caused enough trouble, and that best thing for all of us is… for me to move to the Garrison.”

Levi took a sip. "Bullshit."

"Ex-excuse me?" I said, half - offended.

"If we were all like rats fleeing the flood after our first mission, the Scouting Legion wouldn't exist. You're alive, aren't you? You will try to attack the titans again until you kill some of those huge-ass bastards. And that's good enough."

"I am only alive because you saved me, Captain!"

"Next time, you save me," his tone was phlegmatic. "It is called a team work for a reason, cadet Schwarz. Now, don’t chicken out. I don’t think I trained you to become a deserter, but a soldier."

"I'm ashamed that I was a nuisance to the others..."

"Don’t give me that crap. We all know what we're getting into as soon as we ride out past the gate of Wall Maria. Just be happy you're alive, and try to get yourself together next time. Is that clear?"

"I wrote down... my resigna-" I began, but Levi gave me a very sharp gaze.

"Well, clean your ass with it, you little brat! If you resign, you shall be deemed a deserter and have a trial at the court-martial! You took an oath, so there’s no turning back! You fucking wanted to join in the first place, nobody forced you. You made me practice combat and 3DMG usage with you. You argued every time when I tried to make you leave. You made me accept the idea of you being a soldier, even when I told you (a million times as well) that you shouldn't stay. Well, guess what? You graduated. You are an official member. There's no going back. Now deal with it, or I'll make you, you stupid bitch!" he yelled on me. He raised my blood pressure. I threw the cup with the tea away. It smashed against the wall and the hot drink spilled all over the place.

"You can clean that, you asshole," I said. I could feel his tension flow with mine. I continued:

"Mark my words. I will be better than you one day - I do not know how, but I will! No one will have to save me ever again, nor die for me, nor command me what to do, especially not a nasty midget as yourself! If I have to stay, I will surpass you!" I screamed out on him.

"Good," he said, grabbing my wrist. "Now, clean up that mess." 

"Not a chance," I responded. He pulled me right onto himself. My heart threatened to bounce out from my chest. He was too close.

"Clean it up, Ezra," he repeated. He grabbed a piece of hair that framed my face and wrapped it around his finger. Suddenly, it became very hot in the room, but I've decided to follow that heat.

We didn't need a strong reason to be angry, either one of us. It wasn't about being competent soldier or not, or who saved whose life. Hell, it wasn't even a valid dispute. When I came into that room in the first place... I knew it won't be just for a resignation, or comfort. 

"And what if I refuse, Captain?" I said, lowering my lips to the span of his. I've lightly touched them, tasted them just to see his reaction.

"You dirty, dirty girl. I've already warned you once." He grabbed me by the back of my head and kissed me. It was a kiss full of lust and hunger, something you would never expect from a guy that looked that cold and calm. I answered to him immediately, and this time, he didn't complain at all. He seemed to enjoy those kinds of things. Who would have thought? 

He got me up, and I could praise that strength because I wasn't the lightest girl in the world. He carried me to his bed, threw me on it, and I froze. I wanted this for a long time, but when it started happening... it was beginning to scare me. I've never seen him this way. He was usually quite composed and uninterested. This side of Corporal both excited me, and frightened me. He was touching me, kissing me, stroking my hair. 

"You can still chicken out and escape. Now would be the best time," he murmured, realizing I was going through a turmoil. But his body... his eyes... this heat... 

"I'd hate to deny you the pleasure," I teased. I wanted him, oh so badly. I needed him to want me too. My desire overpowered my fear. My love did, ultimately. 

Things got out of control. He was on top of me, he enclosed my body and lips. All my fantasies came to reality and my face was burning with shame. My stomach was turning, but I let him take control, let him unbutton my shirt, remove the straps from my uniform, do whatever he wanted to do. Then again, I was overcome with panic.

"You've no right to complain now, cadet Schwarz. You came here at your own risk.”

If we take into account that we were both frustrated, that we have been waiting for each other for a long time... it’s no wonder it happened how it happened. And there was a lot of passion, and a lot of pain and a lot of love (at least, from my part) and even some bitterness.

Of course, I was even more angry with him after that, as if it was only his fault. As if I didn't want it to happen too. I was confused, and ashamed. I was angry because I ruined what we were before it. We could never go back to being like brother and sister again, not after being intimate. But that anger passed me soon, and I wanted him all over again. I just couldn't say it. But he knew. 

Afterwards, he started looking for me. He came to me whenever he could, and I was lurking to him at night when I was released from a daily duty. We were hiding, and no one knew. It was really a secret that only the two of us have known under this big, blue sky. I haven't told anyone. Ever. Neither did he… and God knows that he had some very close confidants. He didn't tell to Erwin, for all these years that we've been apart. If our Commander ever suspected anything, he didn't show. And I was grateful for that.


	7. A Remider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_You only need one tiny spark to start a giant fire._ **
> 
> {This chapter is posted on my DeviantArt profile too. Check it out here:http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-A-Reminder-pt-7-439141977?q=gallery%3Agalateabellator%2F46150061&qo=0 }

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 7)  
by galateabellator, Mar 8, 2014, 5:01:43 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**WARNING! This chapter includes some strong language and sexual themes. Don't read if you are too sensitive to lemon content.**

**PART 7 - A REMINDER - Levi x OC**

“Are you doing this... because you miss her?” I asked, in the midst of a kiss. He stopped.

“You truly are just a stupid brat, after all these years.” He knocked me to the ground and fenced my hips with his thighs. He sat on me, straightening up only to give me a sharp look. “If you want to talk about it, then we’ll talk about it.”

He pulled his collar, easily pulling his neckerchief out. 

“Petra Ral was a good and thoughtful girl who loved me. I understood that. Nevertheless, in spite of all my efforts… I did not love her back equally. Not enough… though it was really supposed to be returned in the right way. She was nice; I got used to her and loved her, as I would have loved any other in her place. She was loyal, compassionate and nice.”

He was cold. His hands on my wrists were deadly cold. His voice too. I could have been scared if I didn't already know him. 

“She was a special girl with a special place in my heart. After her death, I found out that she wanted to devote herself to me. To be married to me, as her father implied.”

“And… you didn't know?” I asked. He sounded unnatural. 

“She didn't give the slightest hint about that. If I knew, I could put up with some sort of commitment. Engagement, for example. I would do that to make her happy… but, as you already know, we didn't have time.” 

“You would… make her your fiancée,” I said, feeling how my heart sinks into the ice pit. 

“Maybe. However, marriage... I was never a big fan of it.” 

Levi took off his brown jacket first, then put off the chest strap and pulled it over his head. Then he began to unbutton his shirt. All that time, he was looking down on me, and I tried to get him off by moving under him in a violent manner. He pinned me hard to the floor with his ties, pressing my calves in leather boots.

“But you would have eventually married her. I know you would. Heck, you yourself know you would,” I said. It hurt me again.

“Tch… do I look like a guy who would get married? Yes, she was beautiful, and yes, there were emotions between us. Sympathy, loyalty, respect... even love. But you alone know how hard it is to love someone in this rotten world, or to show affection for someone at all. Simply, I am not used to it.” 

“You are not, huh? Well, you were certainly making a great progress, considering that you were able to go that far for her!”

I relied on my elbows, trying to get up under his weight, which was surprisingly large for someone that ‘tall’. I watched him with tears of rage in my eyes. He insulted me. I loved him longer and stronger than any other girl did… but if he only had the time, he would marry Petra, plan home with her. It was eating me from the inside. She was good, yes, unlike me. I hated him for choosing her over me. And I hated myself for caring about him.

“Far? What a nonsense. You have no right to complain when you're the one who left four years ago.”

He already took his shirt off, and his chest was exposed. His body was more masculine than I remembered, and as sculpturesque as ever. Instead of six - pack torso, he had eight and much firmer layers of muscle (with incisions from leather straps of our uniforms). His shoulders were somewhat broader. He even seemed taller. I thought I was larger than he was in body proportions, but I was mistaken. His torso was perfect. Oh, God. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I ran out of air. I had to inhale deeply.

I covered my face with both hands. He bent down and unzipped the belts on my thighs, the straps around them too, removed some which were connected to my upper body and to my hips… and finally, the one that went over my chest. He pulled them, then tossed them all aside.

“What is it, Ezra? You aren't ashamed, are you? It’s not as if this is our first time,” he split my elbows and pinned them to the floor. He kissed me forcefully again. My lips literally hurt, and were swelling under his pressure. He pushed his tongue between my mouth, mingled it with mine. I tried to turn my head away from him, but he easily recaptured me. I thought that my chest would definitely explode this time.

He rolled up my shirt with one hand and threw it over my head. He pressed his body against mine. I forgot how good this could be. I have not been in his hands for years, and God knows it's been too long. He went down to my throat and made a few bites, marking the skin. It stung me, but in a pleasant way. He has never done something like this to me before. 

For some reason, he is aggressive now. He probably treats me sadistically for revenge… or is making up for all the lost time we spent apart from each other.

He gripped my wrists, putting them in one of his hands and unzipped my trousers with another one. He took off the lower belts, freeing me from a leather lap around my waist and bottom. 

“Le... Levi,” I groaned, twisting under his firm body, under his grip. It wasn't pleasant. He pressed his chest against mine, so my bra dug deeper into the skin. I could feel parts of his own, cold as ice, sending shivers through my whole body. I had a very high body temperature, unlike him, and definitely much hotter blood. I felt just how radiant I could be, ashamed of my redness, like this was the first time we were doing these things. Not cool, Ezra, not cool at all. You should have kept your composure. However, considering the fact that four years passed, I could easily regard him as a completely different man. Nothing about me was the same anymore, and I could have supposed the same thing happened to him, actually. 

“Even when you try to resist me so violently, I can see that you still want me,” he whispered to my ear, touching the button on my pants,“and it's good to know that at least that hasn't changed for us.” He bit me. He fucking bit me, and I couldn't do a thing. Well, I did make a brief sound of pain. He played with my earlobe, using his teeth and tip of his tongue. It tickled me, annoyed me, and… it turned me on. 

That son of a bitch.

“Are you angry, Ezra?” 

Just the way he spoke to me, the way he said my name… so authoritatively, so harshly... brought me to madness. And he asks me if I was angry, to tease me, to make me feel even more irritated to the power he already has over me. I tried to remove him from my life, to escape to the other side of the Wall, because it was so damn hard to even watch him near me. It was painful, it was damaging for me, and I couldn't think clearly. And the first time I meet him after a long time gap, after all the celibacy I made myself go into… ends like this. I'll never be able to surpass Levi, in any way… let alone forget him. I can run away from him all I want, but not from myself. Unfortunately.

“Of course I'm angry,” I groaned, putting both my hands on his chest (he released my wrists, yet attacked my waist). He forcefully pressed himself on me, his crotch against mine. I tried to push him off. Again, with no success. I guess I did not even want him off me enough, because by now I could take him. I think I could. He was way too strong for someone of his composure, it simply wasn't fair, but I was strong too. 

“I hate you, Levi,” I said harshly. I was afraid, completely overwhelmed by panic. If this continues, I do not know how I'll look myself in the mirror tomorrow. I used to be with him whenever he wanted, allowing him to do whatever he wanted. I was his puppet, his commodity, someone with whom he played and who has overturned whenever he's had enough. I'm tired. 

By leaving his unit, I stripped him from the privilege to own my body, yet alone to my destiny. I took my life and my identity into my own hands. I began to appreciate myself, to build a name… now well-known name that brought me certain fame around the military. I allowed myself to be an arrogant bitch from time to time, because I could do things the others couldn't, or wouldn't. I made them fear me, made them respect me. I became the squad leader in the Western Unit and I was stronger than ever. And I alone was responsible for my own success. Not him. It had nothing to do with him. Yet, I felt like all the time we spent apart wasn't worth a damn. 

I thought it would be easy to forget, to go and to dedicate myself to someone else. I had a whole unit filled with young men, all beautiful and talented. Collin, for one. Brett too. They were funny, decent young fellas. But, not a single day passed for all these years that I was not thinking of him. I have never loved anyone else. For all this time, no man had even touched me, my unit or others. I didn't allow it. But now, I allow him to defeat me, so easily, as if it was some kind of a bad joke, like we had parted merely yesterday. Like everything was the same between us, when we knew it wasn't.

His hair covered his eyes as he was leaning over me… his lips pressed in a strict, serious line. He straightened up, and I loosened my hands on his chest. My fingers froze, they trembled. For a moment I thought that he would stop, that I managed to strike a nerve by my harsh tone and words.

“You hate me?” he repeated coldly after me. He squeezed me under his thighs, then rudely tore the belts on his trousers and leather cover for maneuver gear. It was completely wild, filled with anger, with roughness. We shared some passionate nights in our time, but this was simply out of his character. Levi was never like this, not with me. “I should do something to change that, shouldn't I? Hatred is reserved for enemies, not for… close friends like you and me.” 

“Levi, stop it!”

“Make me, brat,” he whispered, holding locks of my hair between his fingers. “If you really mean what you say, make me stop. Otherwise, I will do everything I planned to do to you, ever since you walked through that damn door.”

He slid his hand in my pants, and I instinctively closed my legs. 

“For a God’s sake, Levi!” I couldn't look at his face. 

“I know every inch of this body. Every sensitive spot. If you're going to stop me, you better start quickly. I'm serious,” Levi said, his eyes fixed on mine, determined and threatening. He slid his fingers into me, and slowly worked them inside of me, while I shut my lips, biting into them, trying not to make a sound. 

But, I let out the first gasp. Attempted to suppress the other one, but it escaped anyway. I was in agony. I grabbed him by the wrist, but it didn't really work. 

“Is that all you've got? Make an effort, Ezra, make it count. Here… like I do,” he folded my hands with his forearm. The tongue found its way on my collarbone, and left wet mark on my hot skin. It became unbearable. His hair was tickling me while he was dealing with my shoulders, my chest. But his hand gave me the most trouble. I started to moan. Weakly, slowly, but that was moaning. 

And, suddenly… there was a knock. I was overcome by the sheer panic, and I tried every possible way to overthrow him.

“Corporal, are you there?” the male voice behind the door called. 

Levi looked at me, stifling my mouth with his free hand.

“Which Corporal do you need, soldier? There are a few of us in this house tonight,” he replied, casually calm. He twisted my head to the side and started licking my neck. I almost sobbed. 

“Corporal Schwarz. Commander Erwin asked for her...”

My heart stopped. Levi must not say that I'm here! I will die from embarrassment. 

“Do I sound like a fucking girl to you?” Levi asked. I repeatedly shook my head, signalizing him to shut up about us being there together. I could actually see a shade of smile crossing his lips. 

“N-no, sir, Lance Corporal, sir!” the response came from the closed door. The cadet obviously recognized that tone. 

“Corporal Schwarz is currently… busy,” Levi said, making a new bruise on my neck. I grabbed his neckerchief from the floor, hardly bit it, stifling a sob. 

“Tell Erwin that I sent her to clean her maneuver gear. She should be somewhere in this mansion. And soldier, both you and Erwin can leave me for good tonight. I'm trying to sleep!”

With me, obviously. My God. Is this the signal from above for me to get lost from his room? Levi's trying to sleep? He barely sleeps three hours during the casual night! What kind of excuse is that?

“Aye, aye, Corporal,” the voice said, and we both heard footsteps, moving away from the door. He pulled out his hand and I sighted with relief. He almost had me there. I can’t believe I allowed him to go this far. I finally pulled myself away, and slapped him hardly across the face. His head turned from the force of my hit. He gave me one hell of an enraged look, before he caught me again, pinning me against the wall, and kissed me by force… while my body throbbed beneath him. 

“You fool… you damned fool! Let me go!”

“A bit louder, Ezra, and you will bring him back,” Levi wasn't amused with my behavior. I wasn't funny to him when I was angry, I guess. 

“Maybe I should!” I said, failing to push him away. He pinned my wrists against the cold surface. 

“Then scream,” he pressed himself between my legs, and I felt something hard over the fabrics of our pants. He moved against me, purposely in a slow and annoying manner. 

“Scream, Ezra,” he repeated as he rubbed himself against me, again… and I tried to breathe.

“Don’t do this to me… just don't,” I whispered, putting all the self-control I had in that one moment.

"It's just a reminder, Corporal”, he used his legs to separate my feet wider, “…you're mine and I know exactly what you can bear, and what you can’t.”


	8. Exactly What You Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  _Rough games are for rough Corporals, after all._   
>  **
> 
>  
> 
> LEMON CHAPTER. You have been warned. 
> 
>  
> 
> {This chapter is posted on my DeviantArt profile too. Check it out here: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Exactly-What-You-Need-pt-8-441902242?ga_submit_new=10%253A1413849156&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 8)  
by galateabellator, Mar 21, 2014, 4:56:36 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**WARNING! This chapter includes some strong language and very explicit, sexual themes. Don't read if you are sensitive to lemon content!**

**PART 8 - EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED - Levi x OC**

“I am not yours. I haven’t been for a long time. You have no right…” I started, but he brushed his lips against mine, touched my arms, sliding down to my hips… and he used one hand to trace down my spine, and the other to touch my torso. 

“Fight me, then. If you think that I shouldn't do this… just fight me harder, Corporal.” The way he said ‘Corporal’ made me wanna slap him all over again. A few times too, because he mocked me. Like he was the only capable Corporal in the Scouting Legion. Fight you harder? I will, you little shit. I managed to push him away, even lifted my leg to push him farther, until he falls on his never-sorry ass. He didn't. I almost fell when he pulled my boot, preventing me to hit him. I kicked the other one from my ankle, trying to hit him with it in the process. 

“That’s all?” he raised his eyebrows, making his bored face. He got closer to me again, almost caging me. I swear, he could almost give me a heart attack like that. 

“Oh, fuck that. You will take me anyway,” I said, breathing heavily. I slammed my body against his, in a furious attempt to separate myself from him, from the heat, from the tension lingering in my ties. He just pinned me harder against the wall, and I felt a slight pain in my back, small but sharp disappearance of oxygen in my lungs.

He recaptured me, proving that any resistance is futile. It has always been this way with the Lance Corporal, ever since we started our little competitions. You try to out-best him, to shock him, or surprise him, anything… yet, he is always one step ahead. He reads you like an open book, and overpowers you. Well, he did that to me, I can’t really speak for the others. 

His fingers dug into my chin, turning me to face him properly. 

“For someone who doesn’t want this, you seem pretty aroused,” wisps of his hair brushed my forehead, as he leaned towards me. He licked my lips with a tip of his tongue, then sucked them into a long, passionate kiss. It was almost electric. He inserted his tongue deep into my mouth, battling my own in a raw manner. I gasped, again out of air. I paused to breathe, but he almost choked me. That kiss was hurtful too. He dug his fingers into my hips, pressing me to his crotch again. He was already hard, it’s just a matter of time before he loses it. Or so it seemed. He could play this game much better than me. 

“Aroused? Look who’s talking,” I whispered, breaking the kiss. “If I didn't know better, I would say you desperately missed me.” I just had to mock him. It doesn’t usually end well for me, but the words tend to slip from my mouth when they shouldn’t. 

He pulled my trousers down in a sudden, savaged move, and instantly wiped-out the smile from my face. Fuck. Is he really doing things this way now? I grabbed his wrist, preventing him from striping my panties too. I was in my underwear now, trousers around my knees, and I felt extremely nervous even when I already knew his touch. This was not supposed to be a big deal, but it somehow turned out to be. The man in front of me wasn't the same one I remembered. Years will do that to you. 

“Well, something over here did miss you. Very much,” he said, pulling his own pants down. I didn't want to look. I couldn’t. I guess I was in celibacy for too long. 

“Fuck you,” I said, losing some gasps when his hard, swollen member rubbed again against the fabric of my panties. I felt his erection in full length, this time much closer and much harder. We aren’t doing this. Are we? Have I finally cracked, and lost my mind? 

It was hot as Hell in that room, even more with that thing pressed between my legs. My God, that was so wrong, on so many levels… I was not supposed to feel like that. It’s been forever. The distance should have made me cold and distant towards him, yet I found myself losing to his touch. Again. Like always. I have forgotten this feeling, this… insane, consuming fire in my skin which only Levi could start, and spread across my body. I desired him, either close or away. I wanted him, along with torture of his touch, so badly it was almost painful. I never felt that way about anybody else in my life. And I hated him for having that kind of dominance over me. It was almost like he owned me more than I owned my own self. Just how low can I stumble, exactly? 

“Fuck you!” I repeated, in case he didn't hear me the first time. 

“Oh, I will, bitch… and you are so gonna help me.” He used my own insult to insult me back. Great, just great. I should’ve known. His tongue left wet trails down my neck, and I grabbed him for his hair, pulling him away. Yet, I wanted it. Everything he wanted to give, I would take. However…

“I don’t think so, Levi,” I whispered, biting into my lower lip, trying to suppress the throbbing sensation in my body. He slid his hand on my back, reaching for the bra. 

“You can hate me again…” he pressed himself hard into my sensitive spot, never entering, but stroking through the thin fabric, “…but only when we are done here.” 

Another gasp escaped my lips. I was already wet, it was so shameful. 

“And what if I don’t want any of it? Ever occurred to you that I actually hate what you do to me?” I demanded, like a true brat who had to challenge him once again. I needed to know if he would go beyond my desires anyway. He just looked at me in a cold, yet somewhat annoyed manner. Like I really was the spoiled one here.

“No. Not even for a second. Because I know…”

He arched my back with his hand, touching my breasts with another one, squeezing them in bra cups. Oh, no. Here it goes. 

“…exactly what you _want_ …”

He buried his lips in a space between my breasts, kissing it. Licking it. 

“And I know… exactly what you _need_ …”

His hot breath warmed my skin. I struggled, trying to move his feet with my own, but every move that I made seemed only to make my situation even more difficult to endure. He really knew me. Knew me as well as he claimed. And in his boots, he was exactly my size, so this will be harder than it previously appeared to be.

“So… I will give it to you, _Corporal Schwarz_ ,” he whispered into my ear, releasing me from the upper part of clothing which left to cover me. I used my hands to cover my bare torso, petrified. It was my turn to look at him in a certain way, so I did. 

“Don’t,” I whispered, “don’t play with me like this. I’ve been with you and all you’ve ever done for me, was making me miserable.” The statement enraged him. 

“Liar. I made you feel good. You decided to leave because you were too afraid,” Levi said, moving my hands forcefully apart. 

“No,” I protested, ashamed of my nakedness. No. 

“Yes. You were afraid of me. The slightest possibility of what could become of us completely terrified you, so you run away. Well, I am done with being patient. And I am done with waiting. I’ve been waiting for four years.” 

“Levi…”

His head sunk between my breasts, and he tasted my skin again, with his lips, his tongue, sending shivers down my whole body. It intensified.

“Relax. It’s just me. Have you forgotten?” he teased, licking the skin around my right nipple. The tension grew with every movement. I groaned when he took it in his mouth and started to suck, painfully slowly. His tongue was warm and wet, his mouth hot. 

“Don’t tell me that you are afraid of me, Schwarz. I won’t believe it.” 

My legs felt like a pudding. He started stimulating my other nipple, and I had a hard time with suppressing my moans. He sucked me faster, and harder, and I felt like I could come very soon if he continued this way.

“God, how I h…h-hate you! Ah!” I sobbed, and he looked up into my eyes. I turned away. 

“And how I missed this,” he said, finally releasing me from his lips. He felt I was close.

“I want you, Schwarz.” He stated. And I could believe it. 

I was too numb to move, I was on the edge. It happens when you don’t have sex quite often. My hands trembled. My pulse was… close to exploding, really. He wants me. Again. And I can’t do anything to stop him, not because I am weak, or incapable to do so… but because I am in need. In desperate, raw need for this man. 

I tried to convince myself that I am prepared for him. I could die tomorrow, so this won’t matter anyway. I can afford one night of lust with the Humanity’s Strongest soldier, especially when he claims he wants me. 

“You always get what you want,” I said, pulling the rest of my trousers down. I was almost completely naked in front of him. “So, get it then, sir lance corporal”. 

He did. He pressed his lips to mine, held my wrists with his free hand, and used another one to pull the last part of my clothes down. Don’t look at his face, I told to myself. Just don’t. I was so ashamed. I didn’t want to be, but still. 

“Look at me,” he demanded. His hand dug into my wrists, painfully holding me, as if he was afraid I will suddenly change my mind and stop.

“Look me in the eyes.” 

And finally, I did. He actually looked horny, something you would never, ever see in usual circumstances. He also looked furious. And he looked just like a man who needs me. 

I felt his erection entering between my legs, sliding deep, and I gasped loudly, unable to suppress myself. He pulled my knees up to his waist, holding me against the wall. I wrapped my arms around that muscular torso, and I closed my legs around his hips. I was already starting to sweat, and this made me feel even worse. He moved inside, pushing himself even deeper, and I left out another gasp, another moan, biting my lips. I needed to stay quiet, but it got harder for me. He now held both of my arms with his, for both wrists, providing himself all the necessary control. He shoved himself against me, again, and again, rocking his hips against mine. He also rubbed his chest against my breasts in the process, which increased the excitement.

He didn't bother to go slow, he just wanted to ravish me, to make me remember that he will not forgive another escape from him. And I didn't want to leave, ever again. God, how I needed this. How I missed this. Only with him I could feel… complete. 

“L… Levi… s-slow… down… ah! AH!”

“You. Are. Mine.” He kept thrusting into me, harder, faster… there was a bit of pain, but it grew into pleasure with each new move he made. I couldn't gather my thoughts. I couldn't talk anymore. All I could do in that moment… was to scream. And I shouldn't scream in a house full of other military members. So I didn’t. No. And no. And another no. Damn it! Damn it, I might…

I looked into his face. He was gasping now, never separating his eyes from mine. It was so… sexy. I actually liked him having control over me, though I wouldn't easily admit it. He knew exactly what I could bear… and what I couldn't. Just like he said.

And, before I knew it, I was moaning. I didn't care if somebody would hear us anymore. He kissed me hard, again, filling my mouth with his tongue, his moans, his primal sounds… and I let him do whatever he needed to do. 

My orgasm stroked me suddenly, sending wild vibrations through my nerves, my skin, my whole body… it blew my mind. I forgot how wild he could be. 

Levi kept until he reached his own climax, which was soon after, but agonizingly longer to me because I had to endure more thrusting. We were hot, covered in sweat, barely standing on our feet. I almost slid down that wall, but I had to hold my composure. It was so damn hard. My legs were shaking. My pulse raging. I suddenly felt the urge to cover myself. With anything. I moved him away by pressing my palm against his chest.

This awkward silence, filled with small gasps, needed to be broken immediately.

“I need to shower,” I muttered, “I am _filthy_.” I am filthy all over again.


	9. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_Big words for a big girl... and a confession which explained a lot._ **
> 
> {This chapter is posted on my DeviantArt profile too. Check it out here:http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Words-pt-9-444163501}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 9)  
by galateabellator, Mar 31, 2014, 8:05:58 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

 **WARNING! This chapter includes very strong language and slightly sexual content.**

**PART 9 - WORDS - Levi x OC**

When you are a corporal in the Scouting Legion, you have rights to certain benefits. For example, you get free food (extra portions, which mostly taste like shit, but hey, it’s still food), your own room in places to live/practice (you have to be a sharing soul, though, since you have to be with, like, twenty other people), free uniforms (those are always available to corporals, plain clean), brand new 3D maneuver gear equipment when in need (with additional, extra sets of blades), and usually, our world’s average citizens consider you to be a very brave, powerful, independent, strong individual to whom they admire and to whom they are grateful from the bottom of their hearts (for protecting their children, piece of land and resources)… and praise you like a minor deity. 

Well, it’s either that, or they think you are a complete (suicidal, reckless and masochistic) moron who basically has nothing to lose. I think it’s a bit of both for me. If I’d discovered my real family before I joined the Corps, I may have ended up in the Military Police - but since my only known ‘family’ was in the Scouting Legion, there you had me too. 

What can I say? When I bond, I bond profoundly. Maybe too deep for somebody else’s taste. I guess you lose the ‘family’ vibe when you fuck the only person who resembles the idea of a brother you could have had. He was the only idea of family I knew. And we managed to fuck that up - literally- and we mainly fucked it up because I wanted it. Ezra the idiot, and Levi the comforter. He’d give me everything I wanted when I was his protégé, so he quite spoiled me, in a way. When I grew up and became a part of the Legion, I just got another thing I wanted from him. Yeah. I was stupid, romantic and obviously a very horny girl when I had the guts to challenge him to be with me. 

And, I did it again. I thought I wouldn't anymore, I thought I was tougher than this shit, and yet… I discovered that I wasn't. Surprise, surprise. I am completely owned by him, by all means, in all ways. Thank you, Levi, and thank you, me. 

For once, I can’t entirely blame him. He did warn me to fight him, but I couldn't in the end. I could partially blame him… saying that he used me, that he overpowered me, and willingly screwed me until I screamed and begged for him to stop. Yeah, right. I didn't even say: “Stop”. It’s such a tiny word, yet it holds an enormous amount of power. My only job was to say it, and I failed miserably. In the heath of the moment, I actually said: “Slow down”. I obviously have very slow brain. I am either a pure genius or the biggest retard ever. The award for the most awkward sex-talk moment definitely goes to me. Slow down? Come on. How lame is that? I should have at least added ‘motherfucker’ in there somewhere, just to feel better, to sound cooler… but the outcome would, nevertheless, be the same. 

Besides, you don’t tell humanity’s strongest and fastest to slow down while he… well, rams you. He used me, rough and hard, and I enjoyed every bit of it. And that was my own fair share of guilt. I did get a mind-blowing ending, but as soon as I gathered my raging thoughts, I felt like a total failure. Like a weakling. I thought I was headstrong, yet he proved me wrong. 

He had always been… no, he still IS my greatest weakness. I allowed him to have me after his straight and bold confession that he would marry another girl, because he loved her. In the end, I turn out to be a plaything - again. A replacement for a dead lover. Oh God, how I hate that. How I hate myself now. 

I covered with my green, military cloak, since it was the closest thing to cover with. I gave an ironic glance to the emblem of Wings of Freedom. I was never quite free, not while I harbored these stupid feelings I had for Levi. I wasn't free of his scent, or his skin, or his entire body. 

He was with me, physically, yet he wasn't with me at all. He was completely numb to any kind of romantic feelings. The life made him that way. Constant disappointment made him that way, the loss of his comrades and fighting the stinking Titans also shaped him the way he is. And I was a foolish girl, thinking I’d change him some day, somehow. I should’ve known I couldn’t. 

He stayed empty, and didn’t show many emotions apart from apathy, boredom and grumpiness. True soldier. The real deal. I did have his passion for a while, his lust… but, at a certain point, that lost its charm too. Suddenly, I yearned for more, I wanted to feel loved, not just to steal some moments, share a bed, or… whatever we shared at that time. I constantly feared that he would replace me with somebody else… especially when he brought Petra to the team. I just… felt things would go that way. So, to prevent him to dispose of me, I left for good. I wanted to be the one who will end our secret meetings. Not him. For that would entirely break me. 

Wings of Freedom, huh? I’ve never had a chance to start an actual life, really. Not until I left him. I thought I would find someone else. Someone who will truly want me, not just in a sexual way and out of habit. For so long, I wanted him to show me that he truly cared, like when we were younger. That he even loved me, maybe. However, he didn't even go after me, or to try to stop me, at all. 

After I went away, things only got worse. I felt empty. Enraged. Shattered. I was on the verge of crying every day I spent away from him. He, thankfully, didn't get to see that. I protected myself from further humiliation. Benefits of growing stronger and becoming more independent, I guess.

But the worst part of that whole thing was… I couldn't even blame him. It’s entirely on me. I misjudged him. I thought we will end up being a real couple one day, and not just, well, who cares. It doesn't matter anymore. What matters right now, is to get a warm shower, and wash away this misery, pain, shame and pleasure I've felt along the way.

So, as I've mentioned before… being corporal brings you benefits. That also includes your own bathroom, and in this case, Levi’s bathroom, since we miraculously ended up in the same room this evening… until I find my own, that is. I managed to walk to the other door which led to inner room with a small enclosed space where I could shower. I removed the cloak and angrily noticed all the bruises and hickeys form before. Shit. I surrendered so easily. 

I’ve let the water run down on top of my head, let it flew over my body, through my hair (which I moved behind my back with trembling fingers) down to my tiptoes. I took a piece of soap and applied it all over my skin. I need to be clean. To wash away this… shame. The hot steam wrapped around me, and I felt relaxed. I already felt better.

Well, until he came in, that is. He was still completely naked, and entered like that shower belonged to… well, it did belong to him, but I was using it, so what the Hell?

“A little privacy here?! Do you mind?!” I asked, covering myself with my hands again. I didn’t want to share the shower with him. 

“I do. Spill it,” he said, approaching me, letting the water and steam consume him too. 

“Excuse me, what?”

“Spill it already. Come on.” He was waiting for me to open up. Gee. 

“Move away, Levi. You’ve got what you wanted,” I hissed, looking away. He smoothed his hair back under the shower too, removing the locks from his forehead. I couldn’t help but look at his muscular torso, the drops running down his toned skin, his biceps as he lifted his hands to move his hair backwards. He then used his forefinger to lift up my chin, and stole another defiant look from me. 

“You figured it all out, huh? Well, bitch, share it with me. What did I want? What exactly did I get?”

“Do I have to draw it for you now? We aren’t doing it again.” I raised my eyebrows.

“Oh, please,” he sighted, cornering me. I so desperately wanted to go. To escape him, to push him away somehow. Yet, I couldn't, I was like paralyzed. But I could still talk.

“Just move already!” I screamed. Loudly. 

“Tch.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He buried his head into my collarbone, pressing his wet cheek along my neck. I felt my heartbeat rise again. I heard his voice next to my ear.

“Whatever the fuck you need to say to me, say it now, bitch.” And, so I did. 

“I told you. I hate it.” I said it as simple as I could. At first, my voice trembled. I sounded like I might cry, and I maybe even wanted it, but shook that feeling off pretty fast. I needed to say this properly. 

“I hate your selfishness, your attitude, your harsh words and your rude mouth. You are always so cold, so pissed off, or grumpy, or bored, or dismissive towards others… and to me. It makes me sick.” 

I took a deep breath, half - expecting him to release me and walk away. To my surprise, he wasn’t surprised at all. He stayed there, holding me as if I may break. 

“Yeah? I thought you got used to that by now,” he sounded bored again. “Come on, then. I know that’s not all you have to say, so spill the beans. I wanna hear everything.” 

Therefore, he did. 

“You did me tonight, like many times before, like it’s not a big deal. You just took me, and there was nothing I could actually do - because I wanted to be with you too. I was always… so weak when it come to you. But, you already knew this, so I don’t know why you want to hear it from me. Yes, I am messed up. Yes, I allowed you to fuck me, and now I regret it. I am completely ruined when I am around you. You’ve proved that nothing has changed for us in four years of my absence. There, I’ve said it. Now, piss off.” 

I wanted him to let go of me. But, I also wanted him to hold me close like this. 

“Everything has to be so damn hard with you, doesn’t it?” he asked, loosening his grip. His hand moved up to my face, his thumb softly pressed along my lower lip. 

“Look who’s talking,” I whispered, looking into his dead eyes. He was emotionless once again. 

“You just had to do it, didn’t you? You saw me in HQ, and had to prove yourself I still cared for you by forcing your way back into my life. Well, you did it. God job. Congratulations.” 

He caught my jaw, digging his fingers into it. 

“Forcing? I was never out of your life, just like you never were out from mine. But you left my unit, being the little whinny bitch you still are, and you think you have the right to complain?”

I slapped his hand away. I lost it. I completely broke down. 

“I fucking hate you, you son of a bitch! Do you know how hard it was for me to walk away from you in the first place?! For how long I had to convince myself that I didn’t need you in my life? I thought I meant something to you, yet… you just… you didn’t need me! You didn’t feel anything for me at all! From almost-a-family member, I degraded to a plaything – yes, by my own fucking fault - but I never wanted to be one! You let me touch you, kiss you, even caress you… but that… wasn’t enough!” 

He was staring at me, now visibly shocked. 

“I know you cared if I died, but that was just a remaining feeling of duty to me from our common past. You didn’t want me anymore, I felt the emptiness in you. And your boredom. You grew tired of me, and you were doing me out of habit, never truly letting me in. I’ve had your body, yet I’ve never had your heart. I couldn’t break through to you, so I broke myself instead. And I hated you for that. But still, I wanted you. And still, I do. Meeting you again only woke up all those painful memories. Feeling you inside me only made everything worse. This feels like a circle which constantly repeats, the one I grew so tired of. And you… you’ve decided to be with someone else, you’ve said it yourself. But she is dead now, and I am just a replacement, someone who will heal you for a time, but who’ll be thrown away again - aren’t I? Enough. ENOUGH! I JUST HATE IT!” 

He let me say it all. He stared at me, blankly, and I could swear that he was going to slap me. I was almost prepared for that kind of reaction. And he finally gave one to me - another look which told me he thinks I am complete and utter fool. An idiot who gets everything wrong. 

“Is that what you think of me, huh? And you are supposedly good at judgment. What a disappointment, Corporal Schwarz - you stupid shithead.” 

I opened my mouth to say something, but he pressed his forefinger to my lips. 

“Hush now, I am talking. Would I really fuck you if I didn’t want it? No. Was I forced to? Hell, no. Would I say that I missed you if I didn’t mean it? Again, no. You really believe I felt nothing? If that’s the case, you are dumber than you look, bitch. I wanted you beside me, by all costs. I basically forced you to take the Survey Corps. I made you take my path, follow my lead, only because I wanted you near. You were the first woman who ever made me feel that way. Yes, I was selfish, and I probably still am… but you were mine. I had sex with you - yes, multiple times too – well, sue me. I needed you to the point where it hurt me. I was never good at expressing my feelings, and you know it… you should have, anyway… and I could never really say it, but it didn’t mean I didn’t feel anything for you. After all, you are just a spoiled brat who needs to hear big words to feel better. Well, that’s my own fault. I was the one who spoiled you in the first place.” 

Levi breathed heavily, his lips now fondling my neck. He touched my hair, feeling the flow of water along with it. His fingers were gentle. Well, he did always like my hair, dry or not.

“You… never…”

“Shhh. Shut the Hell up when I am talking. You will get your fucking words, since you want them so much. I let you go once and I never searched for you, but that was out of anger. Out of pride. Out of spite. You decided to leave me for good, and I was pissed. It was your decision, after all, and I respected it. You wanted to go, so I wanted to let you have your way, even if you chose wrong. It was a fair thing to do. But I DID care, you dumb-ass. I always did, and deep down, you knew it too. You knew me better than anybody else, yet you left all the same, knowing it would hurt me. So this is entirely on you.” 

He let his hand slid down my spine, merging with the drops of water. He closed the vent pipe, leaving us in steamy fume after the water stopped running. 

“You could have searched for me, if I mattered. I didn’t. You had her. And now I… I am…”

“A replacement, you say? Petra was a soldier, a comrade, a dear friend, a trusted companion, and a wonderful girl - but I was never involved with her in a romantic way. I knew she liked me, but I never wanted to encourage those feelings. She didn’t really knew me, she idealized me, and I loved her, but not in a way everybody believes. You would have known that if you stayed. I cared for her, I wanted to protect her, it’s all true. But you’ve heard some rumors, and you’ve built up the whole story in that pretty head of yours, giving me a lover I’ve never truly had.” 

“But… you said that you two would get engaged at some point, and…” 

“I lied.” He admitted casually. 

He… what? 

“I wanted to see how you would react to that simple, yet effective lie. I lost Petra as I lost all other comrades, and I was in pain because I’ve lost my whole squad. And Petra… she was special, because she was in love with me, and the only girl we had in unit. The loss affected me deeply. I felt remorse for never giving her a chance, for never loving her equally. She was precious, indeed, and the wound is deep. But I never intended to marry her.” 

“How could…” you lie to me? How is this possible? I thought…

“You really cling to your stupid, imaginary ideas, don’t you? Every girl I’ve tried to fall for was, in a way, a replacement for the only one I’ve lost, and not even to titans, but to the military itself. You were alive, but so far away, so distant and cold. You behaved so almighty, so bitchy and all… serious, during those rare times I’d meet you in these four stinking years! I cared as much as I could for others, yet it was never enough. None of them was Ezra-fucking-Schwarz. You left a gap in my chest, wide open, and I’ve had to deal with that on my own. So, don’t give me that bullshit about you being a plaything, or me using the poor little you. I am done with playing the big bad wolf here, Red… when you are the wolf in disguise.” 

All this time… he just needed to open up. To say what he’s said just now. If I knew what was in his heart, in his mind, and how he felt… I probably wouldn't…

“Levi, I…”

He dared me to kiss him, lining his face with mine. His lips were only a few centimeters away, but it was up to me now. He was serious about it too. He will tease me, but I have to kiss him first if I truly want to. It was the nature of this little game he played.

“I fucked you up, but you screwed me over too. You said you were damaged. Well, I am too… by you. It was never just sex for me, and you know well it’s the truth. Tonight wasn’t different either. I just couldn’t wait any longer, not while having you in front of me after such a long time, and while seeing that look in your eyes, feeling the trembling of your body when you were next to me. You wanted me. Call it selfish, call me cold and dismissive, say that I am an arrogant dick, but just so you know… you are a damn piece of work too, you shitty brat.” 

I didn’t know if I should cry or smile. I left out a small chuckle in the end. 

“You have a very rude mouth for someone who is trying to explain himself,” I pointed out. 

“Bite me,” he answered. I kissed him instantly, biting him indeed. 

I wrapped my hands around his neck, massaging the nape as I worked my way between his lips. I was touching his shoulders too, in the most feminine way possible. I wanted him to feel me. I was gentle and soft while I caressed his firm skin, his tense muscles. This was my way. Not fighting for power, or dominance, just a simple need to belong. I finally allowed myself to be a girl with him. Not a soldier, or a comrade, or the second Corporal in strength. Just Ezra. Finally.

I went through his hair, and leaned towards his ear, only to whisper: “Be gentle this time. You are one Hell of a lover to endure.” 

The Lance Corporal glared at me. He kissed me back, quite tenderly for a change, and responded: “Yeah… I guess I can try.” And off we went.

There are certain benefits when you are a Corporal of the Scouting Legion. One of them is that you don’t have to report how or where you spend your nights… and more importantly, with whom. Somehow, I’ve got the feeling that Erwin had already suspected about us.


	10. All Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_When in the Scouting Legion, one should always question given plans._ **
> 
> {This chapter is also posted on my DeviantArt profile. Check it out here: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-All-Options-pt-10-445343452?}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 10)  
by galateabellator, Apr 5, 2014, 10:48:56 AM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**WARNING! This chapter includes some strong language, but, not much :D**

**PART 10 - ALL OPTIONS - Levi x OC**

The supreme Commander Erwin Smith told us all to get a good night sleep and gather necessary strength for tomorrow’s battle, but I doubt he really expected soldiers to follow that advice. Despite being a veteran soldier, I could never have a good night sleep if I had an important mission to fulfill the next day. There were people in my squad who couldn't sleep well either, so we had our ways to prepare for battles.

We always did something different to help us pass the time. Those who could sleep, were sent to their rooms to rest (in small building we owned, and where we resided for the most of our time). The remaining soldiers, who suffered insomnia like me or simply were anxious and nervous, usually gathered in front of a huge fireplace. That was our favorite place for meetings. It was nice, warm, and for many of us who didn't have families, it seemed like home. 

Sometimes, we only had small talks. Big words could ruin the atmosphere. We usually talked about something trivial… for example, about weather. Also, we recalled our fights, training sessions, recent missions, stuff like that. We would often compare our models of 3D maneuver gears - whose blades were sharper, whose wires seemed stronger, which mechanisms looked newer, who was lucky enough to get a brand new equipment, who stuck with an old/ used one etc. 

We discussed speed, strength, the usage, maintenance, every single thing about our primal weapons. During those times, we would resupply our gas tanks, sharpen our blades, clean gears, reminding ourselves about courageous squad mates who died in previous missions beyond the walls, glorying them, or about recent conspiracy theories we've heard (mostly, regarding the King himself and the possible changes in the line of succession). 

Some nights were… more quiet than others. That’s because some battles were grimmer than others. When we'd run out of small talks, we would sit and wait for the dawn, left with our heavy thoughts. We would nap in our chairs, in all kinds of positions, surrounded by those we cared for, and whom we trusted in. The Western Unit was mostly like that, despite all our character differences. Not all of us liked each other, but we knew the importance of sticking together. After all, we were humans. 

In other times, we would talk a lot. We would share common stories from our lives. For example, Hans liked to talk about his childhood, his adventures with friends, how they liked to go out and pretend they were hunting Titans and saving humanity. I guess nothing drastically changed for him when he joined the Survey Corps. Joshua liked to talk about cakes, sweets, and other stuff he cooked or baked while working in his father’s bakery. His family runs a very good business with food, considering they usually sell it to nobility. He ended up in military because his older brother kicked him out of business, and out of house, fearing he would surpass him, even if he was a second son with weaker right to inheritance. He was that good. Well, it was a stupid story, but unfortunately true, so poor Joshua ended up making pies and bread for us instead. He didn't complain much, though, he always puts that stupid little grin, like everything in his life is perfectly fine. 

Girls liked to talk about celebrations (my cadets always wanted to celebrate something) and especially about boys (and I sooo wanted to maintain the military’s seriousness within the unit, God knows I've tried more than once. But, when you are a Corporal who also happens to be a woman, you get dragged to their level and they completely defeat you). They just couldn't resist it. Emotions get a better of us all sometimes. 

Anastasia and Hilda mainly gossiped about who liked who when they were younger, or who was dating who during the recon days. Hannah had a boyfriend who was a farmer or something, he failed the tests for military so he went back to work with his parents. Griselda was involved with Albert, to our surprise. They hid it a lot better than Christiana and Hans. Well, Christiana mostly liked to talk about her family in the wall Sina, we didn’t get much about their love life. Her family owned a large house with beautiful garden (and needed one too since she had five sisters and a brother. She signed in to protect them). She is that kind of girl, always putting her family before everything else. 

Well, the family is the most important to those who have it. I couldn't share much when we talked about that topic, but I liked to listen. Stories like that generally warmed my heart, especially those about caring mothers. I've had a million questions about my own, but barely got a single answer. I don’t remember much about her, I was only two or three years old when she abandoned me in the Underground District. If I try really, really hard, I can recall how she looked like… but her face mostly faded out from my memories. 

I do remember her long, raven hair, though. It was so beautiful and so soft to touch. I remember her in fragments – like, her back, when she turned away from me, and hand, once strongly attached to mine, but just as easily separated when she pushed me away. She just… left me in the darkness. Those were hard times back then, no less hard than they are now, but… she just couldn't take care of me. Probably wasn't able to do so. Or, I just tell myself that when I try to justify her in my mind. 

I had to accept the fact that I am an orphan, once and forever. To reject any hope I will meet my real family again some day. It’s not like I cling to that hope anymore, I've chosen to be a soldier, so it doesn’t really matter... but I still wondered. Couldn't help it. Who was she? Who was my father? Did they love each other, or I was just a misfortune product of an affair, or forbidden love? How would she look like now, if she was still alive? Do I look like her? Did she love me at all, and if she did, then why did she abandon me? So many questions, and no answers to satisfy my curiosity… or my need to belong somewhere. It took me years to actually feel like part of something. 

All I truly had, was a name. And not even a girl’s name, by the way. My mother terribly wanted a son, but got a girl instead. So, she chose 'Ezra' anyway, naming me as she would name her desired boy. Maybe after my father, or my grandfather. Who knows. Maybe she chose it because it meant ‘help’, and she desperately needed some.

(I was bullied a lot because of my name when I was a kid, it seemed strange and wrong to the other children. I was a girl, so why on Earth would I be Ezra? Why not Ella or Elena? I couldn't truly answer that either).

If I had a last name, I couldn't remember it. I had no cousins, or no one of them ever bothered to search for me. Levi found me in the Underground District, wandering, on verge of death… and only Heaven knows why he chose to help me, considering that he didn't particularly like shitty brats like me. He frowned at my first name, thought I was kidding, or that I was a really feminine boy, or that I got confused. When I grew up, I wanted that surname which I lacked. Everybody had them, so I wanted one to. Levi thought it was stupid, but I wanted to be defined. So, since Levi often called me ‘Schwarz’ (meaning, 'black') because of my hair and my grimy behavior (I was quite depressed when I was a child), he kinda decided it for me. And I actually liked the sound of it. 

Therefore… I didn't have much to tell when we talked about family. I couldn't really share with my squad that Levi-heichou took me under his wing and that we were surprisingly close. Much closer than we should have been, anyway. They would freak out or something. I told them I was alone in this world, but that I regarded them as my family. And that wasn't even a lie.

We also had a lot of fun, when we felt like it. We eat a lot, even drink before some missions, and occasionally hired a few soldiers who played some instruments – accordion, flute, violin, or whatever they had to play for us, while we danced and made fools of ourselves. I think that Erwin would be unpleasantly surprised by my behavior and that he’d even punish me if he knew how much liberty my soldiers had under my command. I did feel guilty about that sometimes, but we worked fine that way too. 

I wondered how the rest of my squad spent (or is still spending) this long night. I bet some of them even searched for me, waiting me to sneak out of my room and have a drink or two with them before the sunrise... even if I had already told them that I was tired and that tonight was different. (Hell, yes, tonight was different indeed. If they only knew how. I myself was surprised by this turn of events). 

I was lying on bed, half wrapped into sheets, and half wrapped around Levi. I was exhausted, but that was a welcoming fatigue, for a change. My muscles were quite relaxed now, contrary to tension which I felt after the long journey. His body was pressed to mine, so we were sharing the warmth. My cheek was pressed to his chest, and I’ve listened to his heartbeat. It was so peaceful, so steady... yet strong. The definition of tranquility. I wished I had at least half of that certitude he possessed. 

I was the safest woman in this world while being in those arms. I wasn't joking when I told him I could protect myself… I did. But only beside him I felt completely protected and free. Next to him, I could be almost careless. I touched his chest, slightly tracing the muscles of his torso. It was slowly rising up, than lowering down, as he breathed rhythmically.

I couldn't really sleep, so I took a short nap before my loud thoughts flew into my mind, again, and woke me up suddenly. It was few hours after midnight, and I was still awake, watching the ceiling. Everybody is supposedly sleeping. 

So, what the Hell am I going to do now?

His hand slid through my hair, gently, slowly. I wasn't entirely surprised, but wasn't expecting it in that moment either. I rose my head a little, to check up on him. 

“Levi?” I whispered, in case that was just a reflex and he was sleeping unlike me. 

“Awake,” he answered. I've met his eyes in that darkness, and they were completely opened. I didn't wake him up, fortunately. He spoke again: “You can’t sleep either, huh?”

“Not really,” I admitted. He lifted his head, to put his other arm under it, supporting its weight. Than, he traced my face with his index finger.

“Too bad,” he said, “I take it as a personal failure.” 

I laughed to his words. It had nothing to do with his love skills, but with my brain. It was over-working. And now was the worst possible time for that. 

“Don’t take all the blame just yet. I am over-analyzing things, that’s all.” I kinda climbed him to give him a peck on the cheek. I was so happy he was there with me. I appreciated all the moments we could spend together, especially if they were our last.

“Care to share?” he asked, switching his position to lay on his hip, facing me. He supported his head with his palm, and looked at me. I was hesitant. 

“You won’t like it,” I warned him. He sighed, like he was already expecting it. 

“So be it. Shoot.” 

I didn't know how to begin. 

“Well… I am not sure the plan we heard tonight is our best solution, you know… and I am not sure Erwin even took everything into consideration.” 

He glared at me.

“We've been through this. Still insisting those prisoners could help?” 

“I think there are too many enemies for us to stand a chance with Jaeger alone. We could have used the Armored and Colossal Titan. We've been on first hearing before the trial, they seemed like they still hold on to their humanity and can feel remorse. They offered to help, if you recall. They were brain-washed and manipulated. I believe they were even black-mailed into turning against the humanity, under the threat of losing their families. They are just children themselves. We could offer them pardon or switch the penalty if they help us against the Ape Titan.” 

“You are forgetting the part where they've committed the massive slaughter. My entire squad was killed by that bitch. Erwin lost his hand due to that Armored bastard. Thousands of hundreds died when wall Maria was breached, and thousands of hundreds panicked after the supposed breach of wall Rose. Don’t you think you ask too much this time? From Erwin, and from everybody else?” 

“I am trying to think about the greater good. They've killed many, but could save a lot more. They are sinners, but could be redeemed, and maybe this is their last chance. I don’t know. They said they had information about the Ape Titan, and I believe Erwin and Pixis should have taken it.” 

“So, you think we aren't good enough to defeat Titans ourselves, brat? You defy the very idea of the Scouting Legion.” 

“We will be outnumbered. I just think that this was too bold from Erwin's side, he was not profound as he has usually been while forming his plans.”

“So, you believe this one's flawed,” Levi pointed out.

“I… I just think something’s missing,” I wanted to explain, yet I couldn't find the right words.

“Tch… you think too much. Always have. Just let it be.” Levi seemed oddly uninterested. Well, he blindly followed Erwin. I will do so too, but I can’t help but wonder. 

“I would let it be… but I just… have this feeling… that there’s more to it. Something’s off.” It bothered me too much. I mean, strategically, it was the best solution. But, it didn't seem like our motive was strong enough. How could we fight an intelligent Titan who explores our territory, can even speak the language of human, understand us well and still devour us? We needed to play this better. Smarter. Or I expected more from Erwin, I guess. This seemed like a bold move. And he is risking the entire Scouting Legion, few soldiers give or take. It’s also unusual for him. It’s like going into a suicide mission. Maybe he went nuts after losing that arm after all. 

“You are very perceptive, Ezra. Sometimes, you are too smart for your own good.” Levi sounded so calm, it bothered me even more. Then, I've realized. 

“You know something,” I was shocked. I should have figured this out earlier… my God, I am so stupid. If anyone has a back - up plan, it’s Erwin. And if he suggests something, you can bet your whole dinner on the presumption there’s more to it - and you will always win. ALSO, Levi would be the first to know. His new squad too… well, probably. On the other hand, Hanji, Moblit and their squad would be involved for sure. 

“You took this way too calmly, and… Erwin seemed so…” 

“Lay down, woman. Just let it be,” he said. 

“This is not a real plan, is it?” I was too excited to speak. “Erwin is doing something else, isn’t he? That scheming motherfucker. He’s a genius!” 

“Ezra, I’ve told you to lay down. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“But you know something! Just tell me already!” 

“Tch. I guess that Erwin would have told you, if he found you… but, since you are with me tonight, I will be the one to do the honor. However, you, and I mean it, you MUSTN'T tell anyone from your squad. It’s confidential, and not to be shared with anyone who is not remotely close to Erwin or to the Special Operations's Unit.” Well, this is intriguing! 

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” I laughed, excited to hear. 

“You hopefully won’t. Well, the thing is… you are right. That plan is not the real thing. We've formed the real plan before calling the whole Scouting Legion to gather tonight. The exposed one was just a cover for another, which could easily backfire at us if shared with people who aren't supposed to know. But, since I trust you, I can give you a hint. You figure the rest by yourself.” 

I nodded. Levi was a bit hesitant, but continued to talk. 

“Titans all generated from humans. We believe that Ape Titan had something to do with it. Maybe he was the first human who was a subject of an experiment which went terribly wrong. We also concluded that he controls other Titans. Recent discover made us wonder if he can even turn random people into titans by his own will. There must be some kind of drug, or substance which needs to be consumed by a random civilian to became a Titan. This is all still unconfirmed, but Hanji is pretty sure. However, that’s not the thing which currently bothers us the most. The prisoners revealed one important thing during the hearing, pre-trial. They've said they weren't the only ones involved with that beast.” He paused. He waited for me to react. 

“Well, we assumed that already, but… wait. No. Wait… you don’t really think…”

Levi nodded. The realization made me shudder. I had to keep myself calm, but I was on the verge of panic. It can’t be. If that's true, that means…

“The shifters are among us. Tonight,” I whispered, unable to immediately process that idea.


	11. Fickle Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_It's all fun and games until you became the suspect._ **
> 
> {This chapter is also posted on my DeviantArt profile. Check it out:http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Fickle-Mind-pt-11-446634855?ga_submit_new=10%253A1397162583}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 11)  
by galateabellator, Apr 10, 2014, 1:43:03 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**PART 11 - FICKLE MIND - Levi x OC**

Titan - shifters. A topic everyone was talking about ever since we discovered that Eren Jaeger can transform into one. The very thought about them frightened me, and I’ve considered myself to be quite courageous (better word is ‘bold’). I have encountered many Titans and fought many of them, but I never truly considered that some types could actually have humans in napes of their necks. To me, such thing barely even seemed possible. Or… I just wasn’t creative person when it came to titans’ biology. The truth is, I’ve never paid much attention to them except when I had to kill them. 

I wasn’t the type who would question what they were, or how they functioned. I did, when I was younger and when that seemed important. But, when you remain without answers for the biggest part of your life, you get frustrated and simply stop caring. To me, titans were just that – titans, monsters, human - eaters and destroyers who only brought death and pain, with wide smiles on those ugly faces. I’ve stopped learning about them years ago. 

Besides, we had scientists and soldiers who were willing to sacrifice their time, minds and abilities in order to study them, and then filling the rest of us in. Just look at Hanji Zoe. I don’t know a person who was that eager to study them and so obsessed with collecting information about them. She set up the whole new level of weird (in my humble opinion) but I’ve got to admit she is also very cool.

When I found out that all titans probably had a human inside them, I was mortified. (Never quite expected that either). But shifters are something entirely different to anything I’ve seen until now. The humans inside them were actually conscious, which made them the perfect weapons for those who controlled them. The perfect plague for which we didn’t have the cure. However, we had Eren Jaeger… the Rogue Titan. The Scouting Legion had a weapon too, even if it was flawed. Since we’ve found out about Bertholdt Hoover, the Colossal Titan, and Reiner Braun, the Armored Titan, Annie Leonhardt, the Female Titan we all had to deal with the possibility that we had more shifters who were living inside walls. Those mass murderers, ruthless killers, self-proclaimed warriors and what not, have sneaked into our home and spying on us for years. Their primary goal: Jaeger, because of his ability to control other Titans. (Ok, that was so awesome and horrifying at the same time, though I only heard stories and never actually witnessed his power). 

And now, the Ape Titan who has the same ability, shows and invades our walls. Crap. It is learning about humans. It wants to destroy us. Or turn us all into those beasts. I can’t tell for sure. All I know is that it needs to be exterminated from this world, one way or another. 

But, to assume that it has more people infiltrated within our Walls, brings me very close to despair. Why would anyone decide to help such a creature? Why would our own race rebel against itself and ally with an enemy? From my perspective, it only means… survival. Those who obey the creature, will probably be allowed to live. I wouldn’t bet on that, though. I would rather live, fighting for humanity till my last breath… but clearly, not everyone shares my point of view. 

They managed to invade Wall Maria. It was run over by Titans. Wall Rose is next… and what can we do to protect it? We managed to capture the most frightening shifters… and it still wasn’t enough. We have more among the military itself. Probably more among the civilians. What can we do? I have never imagined I will be one of those who’ll witness the end of the mankind (I thought I would die first) yet it was so close… so near that I could cry this very night and mourn one formidable race who’s doomed to be extinct, who fought till the very end, yet, it hadn’t been enough.

“We have those bastards among our own squads,” I said out loud, processing this information. That meant I had to face the fact that some of my people were titan shifters. The people I’ve shared my bread with, shared my dreams, hopes, and strength to carry on. Some of them could be traitors. I didn’t know how to accept that. Levi was silent. The darkness within the room felt thicker than ever. I held him like he was the only person in the whole world I could actually trust. 

“How do you intend to reveal who they are?” I asked. 

“It’s already happening,” he answered. “We needed an excuse to summon the entire Legion. Something utterly important, to make it look like it’s our biggest battle until now. That way, everyone had to come, no matter what kind of unit they were previously stationed. We even gathered a part of the Military Police, and the Garrison.”

“And none of them are aware?” I was skeptic toward this. 

“Only Erwin, Pixis, Hanji, me, and the Special Operations' Unit. Anyway, first phase of the actual plan, was to gather all of them under strong, and believable reason. The second phase, was to inform the whole military about our fake plan, which was indeed forged by Armin Arlert and Erwin Smith, the very night before, and very convincingly played in front of others this night. Well, that was easier part. Here comes harder one. We placed some members to discretely overlook the behavior of all cadets, superior officers, captains and Corporals, presented in that room. Of course, our observers were previously tested, and turned out not to be titans. The North Unit went through the blood testing, and other things Hanji bestowed upon them. They turned out human. We made sure of that few weeks ago. Placing them to spy was a natural thing to do, once we summoned everybody else. As you’ve already heard, Erwin stated that he needs everyone to say whether they want to participate in the battle or not - which is not a standard procedure.”

I thought so too. Commander never asked anybody to say whether they want, or don’t want to participate. We just had to follow the orders, and that was it. Sometimes, some soldiers asked for permission to leave because of health problems, inability to fight or trauma they’ve previously suffered in missions, or due to death cases in family. That was excusable. But to think we were allowed to decide for ourselves this time was highly un-expecting, considering we had to go into the biggest battle human kind experienced until now… it was just unbelievable. We never had much of a choice, so that was definitely strange. 

As the real plan unfolded before me, I felt how my excitement grows. I was also enraged, disappointed, disturbed, even sick. I had those doubts before, but they were just that, doubts. This confirmation wrecked me, destroyed me on the inside. Some of our comrades will betray us. People are never quite ready for that. 

“The shifters could refuse to participate against the Ape, out of loyalty or fear,” I’ve pointed out.

“Precisely. Those who refused, were our primary suspects tonight,” Levi announced. Wait. 

“But, the shifters are supposedly smart. They would know that refusal would mean rebellion against the system they invaded so patiently. Would they risk to blow their cover just like that? I don’t think so,” I was thinking out loud, again. 

“Exactly. That’s why we have those 'chameleon' soldiers of the NU monitoring everyone. Arlert bets some of those shifters will gather to discuss what to do, in secrecy and after the midnight, while everyone is supposed to be sleeping. That’s the best time they could operate. Hanji is monitoring Romulo. Moblit is after Gustav. We wait for someone to make a wrong move… shifters who aren’t as intellectually strong as the others. Who knows, we might even catch some of those bastards before the dawn. The next phase… is revealing the shifters. Capturing them. As soon as we get some of them, we torture them and make them talk. But, in case that none of them do… we expose the rest of them violently as soon as we ride out of Wall Rose into Wall Maria.”

“But… how?” I wondered. Some possibilities spun inside my head, but in the end, I’ve spoken about the most probable one. “Cadet Jaeger.”

On very rare occasions, once in a blue moon… you can see the lance corporal Levi smiling. His little smirk escapes, but is not followed by those deadly eyes. Well… this was one of those moments. Eren must’ve learned how to control that ability after all. His supposed incompetence was just a part of the show.

“Once again, you are right, Corporal Schwarz. Jaeger is our best card, hands down. He will make them shift once we enter the Wall Maria. Not before. That fool of a Kirschstein proposed Jaeger forces them to shift tonight, straight away. But it’s too risky, since we don’t know how many of them there are, as pointed out by Arlert. Erwin agreed, of course. So, we wait for the dawn, and we wait until we reach the titans’ territory. Everything before that is too risky, for both military and civilians. And, for now, we are following the less likely part of the plan to happen.” 

“For shifters to make a mistake,” I said. 

“Or two.” Levi moved, like he wanted to get up, so I’ve slid down, to lie on bed beside him. I’ve sunk into pillow, making myself more comfortable. 

“I am surprised you aren’t one of those who are spying and hunting them tonight.” Levi, Hanji and their squads are always a part of bigger plot and are on some kind of mission. 

“It’s not like I always have to do the harder part of the job. Tonight, others are doing what I’d normally do, because Erwin didn’t want shifters to suspect anything.” 

Something occurred to me at that very moment.

“If Hanji is monitoring Romulo… and Moblit Gustav…” I started, only to be interrupted by his sudden movement. His fingers dug into both of my wrists, his thighs straddled my pelvis. His gaze was deadly, his grip strong, and almost painful. 

“I told you… you are too smart for your own good,” he said. 

“You are monitoring me,” I continued, numb to thought. Levi nodded. 

“Erwin thought it would be the best.” He didn’t even deny it. 

I arched myself forward, enraged. I know this shouldn’t be surprising, but it somehow still was. I would’ve done the same in Erwin’s place, yet I was offended that they even took into consideration that I was one of those traitors. Levi too. How could he? I yearned to slap him, or punch him, or… anything. Was this, all this… just a way for him to pass the time? To keep me occupied to prevent me from going to secret meetings? Asshole. How could I be so naive? Shit. 

“Am I a suspect now? You think I am one of the shifters? Is that it?!” I yelled. He rudely pinned me down, leaning his face toward mine. 

“That’s exactly what a titan- shifter would say when captured. Don’t you think?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” 

He stretched my arms up, pulling them to the headboard. I tried to use my legs to shove him aside, but I couldn’t… he was heavier than me, and as I’ve already witnessed, much stronger. For a titan-shifter, I guess I wasn’t much of a threat to the Great Corporal. 

“Your primary suggestion was to use Hoover, Braun and Leonhardt. Don’t you think that also implies you are one of them? That you want their help to reach the ultimate goal?” 

My eyes widened. What was he thinking? If I was a shifter, I wouldn’t say a damned thing about anyone! I would probably stay silent, and… well, to Hell with assumptions! 

I’ve heard stories about split personalities. Maybe he thinks I am like Reiner Braun, who suffered a breakdown because he couldn’t cope with his role of human protector and the monster at the same time. What if they know something about me that I am not aware of? What if I… truly… 

“You would make an exceptional enemy, being this close to me. Wouldn’t you?” Levi whispered. It could make sense, except…

“I am not a titan-shifter,” I said, on the verge to doubt my own sanity. But, I am certain I would have known something as dreadful as that. I would’ve felt it. Remember the change. Anything. I wasn’t one of them. Period.

Levi was looking at me. Monitoring my behavior, I guess. Then, he lowered his head again. His breath caressed my neck, his lips felt soft when he left a small kiss there. I was confused. Shocked.

“Levi, you’ve got to believe me… I am not…”

He licked the skin on that place, his teeth piercing, but not biting too deep. I twitched, overwhelmed by the simple touch. He rose his head to look me in the eyes, deathly serious. And smirked. That annoying midget smirked, leaving me utterly confused. 

“You should have seen your face. It’s priceless.” 

“Levi! You son of a bitch! You scared the shit out of me!” I yelled again, but the sight of relief escaped my lips. His sense of humor was twisted like that, I should’ve seen that one coming. Damn him. He loosened the grip, only to place his hands down to my waist. 

“I know,” he said. 

“For a moment, you had me there,” I pushed him roughly, only to make him press me harder to himself. He was so close.

“Oh, I have you exactly where I want to have you, Ezra. In this bed, right now.” He allowed himself to kiss me thoroughly. “If there’s an emergency, I am sure we will be informed. Until then, let the others play their mind games… and we’ll play our own.”


	12. One Big Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_The inspiration strikes in the most unexpected situations._ **
> 
> {This chapter is also posted on my DeviantArt profile. Check it out: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-One-Big-Game-pt-12-462329110?ga_submit_new=10%253A1403317809&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt.12)  
by galateabellator, Jun 20, 2014, 7:29:15 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**WARNING: Strong language and semi strong language ^.^**

**PART 12 - ONE BIG GAME - Levi x OC**

Who could it be? The members of my squad, supposedly titan shifters… who could be the traitor and spy on us from the inside, like Hoover, Braun and Leonheardt did? Fuck. Fuck, my head will explode if I think about it too much. But who? Joshua? Hans? Albert? The girls? Lotte? No. Fuck. 

“Getting up already?” Levi asked, after I left his comfortable chest. There was no sleep for me this night/morning, so I’ve decided to do something else than pretend to be sleeping and dealing with my chaotic mind. It’s not like I’ll conclude something out of the blue just because I was over thinking about my past missions, and doubted all my squad mates. 

It was a high time to get my clothes on. We were in an emergency situation, and that meant we could have been called by any moment now. I didn’t want to get up, I’d rather stay with him here, forever… but…

“I have to. We have to,” I responded. He was lazily lying on his stomach - the divinity forged into a breathing, living person - though he never saw what I see in him. He thought he was like any other ordinary guy, nothing special aside his battle (or killing) skills. Could he be more wrong? Well, he didn’t give a damn about what others thought about him - good or bad, and that was the additional quality I appreciated in him. If he didn’t see himself in the right light, I know who did. 

He didn’t move a muscle. I had to do something about it. 

“You know, you should do it too. Get up. We don’t want our main Corporal running and jumping around naked while slicing titans.”

“Why not? The titans are naked all the time, it shouldn’t even bother anyone anymore,” he said calmly, but you would have to be a retard to mishear the mocking in his tone. 

“First of all, you are not a titan. At least, not to my knowledge. Second of all, titans don’t have wee-wees. You do, and I am pretty sure female soldiers would mind seeing you in all your glory,” I’ve pointed out, gathering all my stuff from the floor. 

“I bet they wouldn’t. It’s you who doesn’t want to share with other girls. Never liked it, as I recall.”

“And you recall well. I am not a sharing soul,” I admitted.

“Don’t worry, brat. It still likes you the best,” he teased too, his voice as monotonic as it could get. 

“You… you asshole!” I said, but I laughed a little to his joke. 

I was quick with putting all my clothes on, mostly because it was required, and because it was a habit to any soldier of humanity. Meanwhile, Levi got up. I couldn’t help but admire his figure… he was heavy muscled for someone of that height. He started to collect his own uniform. He dressed up quickly too. We were putting our equipment, along with straps, and that took some time. We took our gears, and started to sharpen the blades in silence. 

After that, we sat on the bed, and he brought two cups with a black tea. The time passed too slow for us who were expecting something important. 

“Say… you wanna play that game, brat?” he asked. I smiled. I had to, he knew me too well. He saw I was anxious, so he offered to put my mind at ease, by playing our game. 

Levi preferred chess, but he indulged me, knowing how much I enjoyed cards. I even carried them with me in my uniform, two decks in each pocket, a reminder of my ‘delinquent’ past. I pulled up one deck and started mixing cards in it.

It was my thing since I was a child. I was using my ways to survive in the Underground District. Levi couldn’t keep an eye on me all the time, and I had to manage on my own. It seemed wrong to rely only on him back then. I didn’t want to be a parasite, so I figured a way to get what I want without his help. So, I’ve learned. It was just a game in the beginning, a simple way to pass the time. But, the more I was playing, the more fun it has become. And I figured I could play for money, clothes, or food, or anything else… and I started learning how to play seriously. Losing meant defeat, it meant the loss of all the good things I could have earned, so it wasn’t an option. I had to improve and became unbeatable. For that, I had to study other people. 

How? You learn about their moves, their eyes, the way they hold their cards, their frowns, or laughs, or… whatever necessary. You read from their faces, their grimaces. You unveil people, layer by layer, until you figure them out perfectly. You start to estimate what face they are wearing intentionally, and what face they wear subconsciously. Small things give them away. 

So, as expected, I became a real gambler - both in life and missions. I wouldn’t say I was a splendid one, but I was good enough. More than good enough, actually. For some, it was a simple game. For me, it was a way to survive. The game meant everything to me. 

For example, when was playing with my squad, I was winning all the time. And mostly, it was in honest, decent way. But sometimes, I had to use tricks and fool them to win. To cheat. Why? I just wanted to. Maybe out of habit, maybe out of pride. It felt important, even after all those years I spent away from the Underground City. I guess that some things stay stuck with you forever. The catch? You mustn’t let them see through you as well as you see through them. And, I saw through them quite well.

It was the thing with judgment Erwin mentioned before. I was extremely perceptive, so judging else’s characters while playing was a piece of cake for me - especially if I had to estimate younger cadets. I won’t say I was perfect at it, but I was right about it ninety percent of the time. 

“Careful, Levi. I can’t remember the last time I lost,” I said, placing the deck in front of him. 

“That’s because you are extremely good cheater. But, don’t forget who taught you.” He split it in half with his fingers, and handed it to me. I started shuffling. I was smiling all the same. Levi did taught me cards, but it was the only thing I was doing better than him. I was winning even when I played against him, and that meant something. 

I stopped. The game begun. By the way… 

“If Erwin sent that soldier to look for me, and he thought I was in here… did Erwin suspect anything or I got the right room?” I looked at him, then at my cards. It was a good starting hand. 

Levi was staring at his own. He placed _the Queen of Spades_ in front of me. That card held a special meaning for both of us. Coincidence? 

“It was meant for a West Unit soldiers indeed, so… yes. You’ve got the right room.” I took the Queen with my Ace of Spades. I placed a ten of hearts next. 

“So, this wasn’t a coincidence at all. You got into my room. Pretended I invaded yours. You actually planned it, you son of a…”

He took the cup with tea in his free hand, using only tips of his fingers. An old habit of his, he never held a cup in the normal way. He took a sip, enjoying the taste. 

“Honestly, Ezra. When is anything coincidence with you and me, huh? It’s always been the same. I play my move, you play yours, it’s like one big game between the two of us. One big plan to follow. I just got you better this time.” 

Got me better this time? He gets me all the time, it drives me nuts. No matter how good I am at something, he is always better. And, as much as it was flattering to be pursued by the humanity’s strongest soldier, it still hurt my pride to see how well he predicted my actions, or behavior. I just hate when I am outsmarted, and he almost made a habit out of that one. That little fucker. 

“You got me so well we will probably get busted, you idiot,” I remarked. 

“You are so paranoid. Nobody expects we’ll ever hook up, yet alone that we already did. There’s no chance in Hell they’d link you to me,” he reminded me, once again stepping on my nerves, and he did it on purpose… all while keeping it cool. 

“Yeah, the thought must be unbearable,” I said cynically. 

“Well, you aren’t exactly my type, being so stubborn and disobedient. You push everyone out of your life and shove them aside, being the arrogant bitch you’ve always been. You are chaotic, vengeful, proud and aggressive. You can’t be controlled. And I hate when I don’t have control,” he admitted bluntly. And here we go again. Fighting over stupidities and character differences like we didn’t do it enough before. Well, fuck this shit.

“I will take it as a compliment… for if I didn’t, you’d be shorter than you already are.”

He rolled his eyes. “How very mature, Ezra,” he said, taking another sip.

“No, by all means, continue. I am just going to sit here and listen to your long, shitty list of my flaws without reacting at all,” I answered. 

“Also, you are too sensitive,” he added boldly.

“And you are such a jerk, Levi.” But, he was right. I had to admit we weren’t exactly a match made in Heaven. If I were younger, I would have probably cried over that. But, I am a big girl now, and I convince myself pretty good that I can handle the truth. We simply aren’t meant to be, not now, and not ever. Gotta deal with that, ultimately. 

“Yeah, I might be a jerk… but it’s the truth. It’s difficult to handle a woman like you.”

I played my next card, waiting. I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. I felt my heart breaking to those words, and I stayed silent. Just let him say what he wants to say. His turn. His move. Whatever.

“You won’t argue?” he asked.

“What do you want me to say?” I responded with a question. “You’ve explained it all perfectly. I am all those things. I am not suited to someone great as you, so no one would ever suspect we were together… nor they ever will - for we are polarities which can’t match. I get it. You are right. Just play your damn move, will you?” 

He did. He got my Queen of Hearts with his King. He was starting to win, damn it. I won’t allow this. Levi was looking me and I was doing my best to calm myself down. Getting offended again won’t solve anything. Fighting with him won’t change anything. He’s just like that, rude mouth and all. He is saying all these things because… 

And then I figured what he was doing. Damn him. My inner voice rebelled: ‘Follow the cards and don’t be stupid, girl. Don’t fall for obvious traps. He is digging deep within your thoughts and feelings to disturb you, so you can’t focus on the game’. Son of a bitch. Two can play this his way, I could assure him of that. 

“Don’t worry, Corporal. I won’t be here for long. If I survive tomorrow’s mission, I will go back to my jurisdiction, and you won’t see me again. I might find somebody else to bother, someone who’ll be my ideal match.” Levi just pulled a card from a top of the deck, replacing another in his hand.

“Four years ago, my soldiers got this shitty idea to guess who was your love interest, back then. Petra set that one up, I think. You were apparently a very interesting subject to discuss, mysterious and all. Friendly, but not too friendly. Revealing about yourself just enough to scratch the surface, but never go deeper. They were desperate to know.”

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. “You are not trying to make a joke, are you? Because if you are, it’s lame,” I said. I kept silent about my own squad, who were gossiping more than anyone else in the whole army. They also brought up Levi and his love interests, so this was stupid and unbelievable parallel I simply couldn’t accept. (Anastasia was all about Levi, Levi, Levi, unaware what effect it caused in me. Silly girl. Christiana also wanted to know about them, about me. However, I’d rather chop my own hand off than admit anything to any of them.)

“Erd swore you were dating Brett. Günter bet on Collin, for that fool is forever in love with you. Aulio suggested Erwin, saying he sensed a spark between the two of you… and stating that our Commander was the most adequate to fit a woman of your caliber.” I had to process this for a while.

“What the actual fuck are you saying, Levi? Collin and Brett are… immature! I don’t even take them seriously. And Erwin… God, everybody knows that man isn’t for a taking. He simply prefers to stay single. Besides, he would never look at me that way! What’s wrong with people?” I protested. Too many wrong hints and conclusions, I say. That’s wrong. Everyone should just mind their own business. Erwin was handsome, and strong, and inspiring… and I would definitely fall for him if there was no Levi. But, the midget was special to me, always will be, so, nothing with Erwin could last. Just no. A big, fat no for that idea. 

Levi dropped a card nonchalantly. “Oh, he would. He never said it, but I know he would. You are strong, you are beautiful. No matter what I said before… you are stunning in your own way. You fought so hard for your place under the Sun, and for that, you have my utmost respect. There’s nothing I value more than a person who tries so hard to survive in this world. But, the harsh truth… is that you are in his league, more than you are in mine. You two would be a perfect match, while you and me… was never an option, not even in a bet,” Levi said calmly, but his voice suggested a tiny hint of disappointment. That wasn’t insecurity, or jealousy, never that. He just thought he was being realistic. What fools we both were, in the end. 

“Are you so dumb that you are suggesting me… that if you die today, I should approach Erwin?” I said in disbelief. “What the Hell is wrong with you?” 

“You said you’d might find your ideal match, so I wanted to help you out, brat. There it is. He is”. He said, taking another pair of cards on his pile. “You are more similar than you’d imagine. Trust me, I’d know, I’ve spent a good deal of my life serving under him. The way he thinks, the way he acts… it’s too damn close to yours. Even the way you’ve captured an Armored Titan. I couldn’t help myself but think… it was very Erwin-like, even if it was Ezra’s plan all along. You two are cunning bastards who don’t care what or who needs to be sacrificed, as long as you get what you want.” 

Oh, is that so? Well, join the club, you midget. 

“Low blow, Levi. Low blow even for you,” I said. But the thought of sharing Erwin’s way of thinking flattered me indeed. The man was too smart for his own good. I got the last pair of cards, and then gathered them to count points. Levi did it too. He put his cup aside, done with the tea. This is the time we decide who won, in the end. 

“Tch.” 

“Haaa! I knew it!” I laughed, suddenly very happy. Of course I won. I always win in cards. I gathered them all and started shuffling again. “You know, your distraction tricks aren’t working very well anymore, Corporal.” 

“Tricks?” he repeated. “That story was true.” True, and brought up in the very convenient moment.

“Listen. I don’t give a damn about what they said. They could link me to fucking Darius Zackley, for all I care. I wanted you. It’s always been you… you asshole. If you need to hear it one more time, I will say it. And I don’t care if anyone else thought we were a mismatch, including you. It’s not important. So, don’t bring that up, ever again.” 

Ah, good old card games. Fixing and bringing all kinds of problems. I need to win once more, just to be sure he didn’t let me win.

“Ezra…”

“I know,” I said. I loved him too. 

Then, it hit me. That mission. The last mission I’ve done… capturing the Armored Titan. Levi brought it up casually, but something about that was important, a piece for a bigger picture. A crucial piece in tracking the possible shifters.

I mean, I know people in my unit could have been traitors and spies. But I’ve wanted to believe it wasn’t happening in my squad, not with my people. We were like a family. I kinda refused to reconsider all of those soldiers of mine could really be the threats to humanity, after years of living and fighting together. I mean, I did, once, or twice, but hey, Levi said it himself - I knew to be paranoid and reckless, and not all of my deductions were correct. But that aside…

“Levi…”

Lotte Metzger. Involved with Braun, yet she eagerly helped me to bring him down, so… she could… but she wasn’t my spy. She isn’t the shifter, and my intuition kept telling me I could trust her. The shifter in my squad must have been someone who’d slow me down while I was on missions… someone who was close to me and had detailed insight about my movements and plans. It must have been someone who fit us all well, who is either completely accepted and loved by everyone in my team, including me… or someone completely shut from all of us. It could be Klaus, I never quite got to him. He disliked me, without having any real reason, or so I thought. 

But, it wasn’t him either. He was depressed little motherfucker, but he’s been loyal to the unit and was following all my orders no matter how risky or insane they were. I’d lead, he’d follow, and I can’t remember if he ever disobeyed me. Besides, Collin and Brett trusted him, and I trusted them, since I knew them long before I become Corporal, so… they could be, but I felt I could scratch them off my list. Who then? Why am I so… upset? 

“Hey?” Levi touched my chin, making me face him. “Ezra, you are pale. What’s wrong?” 

I shuddered. “I must… no. That’s absurd. It can’t be, I mean, it could be, but…” I started talking to myself. I usually do that when I am nervous. And furious. And disappointed. 

“Hey, stupid bitch, focus. Over here. What’s going on in that head of yours?” he said, pulling me to himself. I blinked once, or twice, but I felt… shocked. Completely… mortified. 

“Fuck,” I said. “I’ve just realized something. I must be wrong, though,” I said. 

“Just spill it already,” Levi was annoyed by my behavior. I know I’d be too if I were him. But, I was me, so… I was kinda stuck in that unpleasant feeling I got. My intuition worked its way again. 

“I know who’s the shifter in the West Unit,” I whispered, feeling my hands shaking again. He pressed them tightly against his chest. “I think I know who’s the traitor in my squad.”

“I need you to calm down first, brat. You aren’t killing anyone like this.” 

“I need to check this one out, Levi,” I said. I must be wrong. I had to be. Because, if I am not… 

“I know, brat,” he said. Levi put my cape around me, wrapping me into the dark green cloak with an emblem of the Scouting Legion. I hugged him tightly, because I needed it. God, I needed him. I missed him. And this… it was almost salutary.

I had to remember my first duty, the duty to humanity. I had to be strong, resourceful and decisive. What I can’t afford, now or ever… is to hesitate. Not even if my friends were involved. Levi let me go, turning to the door of his room. My room. Well, whatever. 

“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing the handle.


	13. The Traitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_'I have learned to hate all traitors, and there is no disease that I spit on more than a treachery.' - Aeschylus._ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-The-Traitor-pt-13-476342843?ga_submit_new=10%253A1408324515}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 13)  
by galateabellator, Aug 17, 2014, 6:15:15 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**WARNING: Strong language ^.^**

**PART 13 - THE TRAITOR - Levi x OC**

I should’ve figure this out a long ago. I really should have. If I only paid more attention to the subject of titan shifters, I’d have deducted this earlier. I know I would. I just… wasn’t thinking about it deep enough, and that was my ‘first’ mistake. I had to analyze actions of people who surrounded me – of all the people I knew so well… or thought I knew so well. I regarded them as I would regard a family, and that was my ‘second’ mistake. I am such a fool.

People in my squad appeared perfectly normal (well, if we take into account those are all people who fight titans on a daily basis. The word ‘normal’ is not even an option for us). I never thought I had a reason to doubt them until we all heard about the existence of shifters. Occasionally, I did check upon my teammates to figure if something was out of place, but… spying on them to determine if there was a traitor… that was a huge responsibility for me to handle alone and in secrecy. I mean, it was practically impossible. There were too many potential suspects for me to supervise. Therefore, I had to share that duty with someone, but I was having a hard time to estimate whom I could trust with such a risky task. 

How do you tell anyone from your unit that you doubt them? And all of them, for that matter? Who was the best person for sharing this delicate doubt with? Collin, who was my teammate even before we joined the Survey Corps, or Brett, who proved to be equally loyal? What about Christiana, who was the closest friend I had in the West Unit? In the end, I didn’t chose anyone. 

I know, that was selfish of me. I did love them, with all my heart… but love doesn’t necessary mean you can trust those you love. It was just a matter of… character, I guess. I was truly devoted to my squad, in the best way a leader can be devoted to her subordinates… but there were a very few people I could really trust, and none of them were close enough (I left them all behind when I decided to go into the West Unit). 

What could I do? I was simply brought up that way - the way which says nothing is certain, and that the closest of friends can became the closest enemies, because you open up to them too much. When you trust, you open up. When you open up, they have a weapon to harm you. And it’s your choice where you decide to put that weapon… that trust of yours. 

The first person, and maybe the only person worth that risk… was Levi, of course. But, he was too far from me at the time I wanted to analyze my squad thoroughly. Erwin was also far. So, I’ve decided to drop that impossible task of mine without any solid evidence, and hoped I’d reveal someone along the way, even by chance. (I have to say again… I hoped it was all my paranoia, and that everyone were just human. I secretly still cling to that hope. But, hope is an illusion which gets easily scattered by the harsh reality. That’s also something I learned early). 

Titan shifters, titans… it was all the same to me. I couldn’t care less for the basic difference between them… because they were all enemies. But, what happens when your cherished friends turn into those kind of monsters? Is this really the end of a mankind? And what can we do when our own turn against us? We still don’t have enough information about them. I couldn’t know… but I could’ve tried to make a connection between the famous titan trio and my own soldiers, if there was any indication. So, there are no excuses, and I can’t justify myself in any way. I could’ve figured this out before, but I didn’t, so this is on me. It’s my sin in front of the whole humanity. 

I feel… deeply ashamed. I really do. There’s no worse feeling than recognizing and admitting your guilt and your own mistakes in front of your very soul. The shame burns you. Hurts you. Stays like a scar, like a painful reminder. The soul scars are the most difficult to bear, or heal, contrary to those of flesh. It’s hard to carry them because they stick with you forever, and slowly reshape your whole personality. 

Levi was probably the only one who could understand this. He lost so many… too many important people. People who he wanted to protect, but wasn’t able to. People who were the closest to him. First of all… Isabel and Farlan. After them, his late squad. Levi had many scars, and inner conflicts… had his own guilt and remorse hidden deep behind those tired, expressionless eyes. That shaped him into person he is now. But, luckily for him, he had hardest of hearts. Not in terms he didn’t feel, but in terms he could endure all the pain and suffering a human heart could endure, all while looking indifferent. I envied him for that. I am afraid my heart wasn’t that strong at all. And, all I can say in my defense, was that the shifters hid well. Not even the brightest of minds could determine who they were among all of us, and though I was bright, I there were many others who were smarter than me and could deduce this matter a lot sooner.

Besides, freaks and half-freaks were Hanji’s expertise. I regarded her as someone who would give the best theories after all the research she’s done… so she could figure everything out by herself. I was selfish in that way too, I didn’t want to think about it at all (and that was just another mistake among all I made thus far). I left all the hard work to her, minding my own business, because that was easier than to simply think about it. Disregarding the possibility someone in my squads was an intruder. Ignoring the inner voice which warned me so many times before… I was really a stupid bitch. Levi was right to call me like that.

“Hey, brat… are you sure you wanna take this risk?” 

“I… have to. This is on me, and I need to fix it.” He wasn’t pleased. 

“Tch… going alone… if you are right about it, you’ll be danger.” 

“I know, I just… can’t think of anything better. There’s no time. Besides, I could be wrong, so it would mean this was one big, unfortunate misunderstanding,” I responded, still hoping for it to be. 

“Knowing you… it won’t be at all. Just… do what you have to do,” Levi reminded me. We made a few more steps before someone joined our little conversation. 

“A theory already? My, my, she is a fast one… isn’t she, Levi?” a voice from the darkness startled me. It wasn’t loud or anything, it just caught me off guard. I blinked twice before I formed a shape of its owner before my eyes. Hanji Zoe smiled. 

“Tch,” Levi said, unimpressed. “Don’t spy on us when you’ve got another job to do, shitty glasses.” 

“Well, I've already did it. But, spy on you? That I’d never!” she giggled. “Though, I have a very important news to share with both of you, but I thought I will have to search for Ezra separately. Luckily, you found her first. So… you two… have finally reconciled, haven’t you?” 

I sighted. No need to lie about that, now. 

“We did.”

“None of your business,” Levi spoke in the same time as I did. She smiled at both of us again. 

“Well, I am glad to hear all’s well between our Corporals. That’ll relieve the further job.” 

“Keep it down, will you?” Levi warned her.

“This area is clear, don’t worry. We won’t be overheard. Anyway… Erwin told me to share this with you. We’ve discovered two shifters in Romulo’s unit. I’ve already determined their identities and upper-handed them with help of my squad.” 

Oh my God. Oh my freaking God. When, exactly? How? The two of them already? And how many are there? Erwin, Hanji, Levi and their people were too good. No wonder they’ve lasted this long. 

“After I caught them sneaking out of the hq – they were hoping to escape while it was dark… we’ve managed to restrain them, and bring them in before they transformed. I was sure we’ll have to use Eren, and make a real fuss… but there wasn’t need for that in the end. Erwin is currently interrogating them. Up to now, they admitted to be a five meters and seven meters class, and that they were residents of a small village which was wiped out by titans. It appears they are victims, with no personal agenda or goals. They aren’t “warriors” or “Wallcultists”. It seems they are similar to Ymir in that manner, but we still can’t be sure.”

Erwin’s plan worked better then we could hope for. 

“What about Romulo?” Levi asked. 

“Human. The rest of his people are too, according to shifters, but we left soldiers to supervise them anyway, just in case,” Hanji explained. “I can’t just barge in and ask for everyone’s blood sample, without a really good reason.”

“What is the thing with blood samples? Why can’t you ask? And those two just… admitted they are shifters? Wow, Hanji… isn’t it… isn’t it strange to you?” I asked. 

She blinked once, like she was a bit surprised by my question. 

“Not at all, after they saw what we did to those Moblit caught and brought to the basement for interrogating,” she sighted, fixing her glasses. Moblit found some too? My, my… 

“You see, Moblit overheard a strange conversation between Gustav’s soldiers, regarding the Ape. He reported this to Erwin and we’ve decided to go after them before we proceed with further spying. So, the three of them were in the basement, tortured, just when I brought Romulo’s traitors in. After seeing the mess we made out of the previous three… they panicked.”

“But… why didn’t they shift, then? In that panic, you’d expect them to try, wouldn’t you?” I was confused once more. She nodded. 

“They did try, of course. But, every chameleon soldier was prepared for it.” 

Prepa… wait. _Of course_.

“The drug,” I whispered. It was that drug she created recently. Mixture of a blue lobelia, and… whatever else there was. I even used the prototype Hanji gave me, in my last mission, when we went after Reiner Braun. It proved to be very effective. 

“Precisely. I drugged them just in case, and they are currently paralyzed and in induced coma… so we’ve prevented them from shifting, at least for a week.” 

“Just enough time to transport them into Utopia District,” Levi concluded.

“That’s right,” she said. Hanji’s definitely getting better and better with her meds.

“Listen, regarding those blood samples…” I started again, but she raised her hand. 

“It’s not our priority now. I know you have a lot of questions, but we will talk later… it seems some people from your squad were spotted sneaking around, evading other soldiers,” Hanji said. “I need to keep a low profile, because they’ve sensed some activity from my part, so… I’ll leave them to you, considering you are their leader, and that Levi filled you in with Erwins’ plan.”

It’s inevitable, after all. The clash…

“How many of those are under the suspicion?” I asked.

“Let me see… Griselda Bauer and Albert Holbein. Their behavior was… a bit unusual tonight, but we still don’t have evidence against them. We can’t be sure. Also, Hans Kaufman, he’s nowhere to be found since the dinner ended, so the soldiers are still looking for him. Does any of them match your theory?” Hanji wanted to know. 

Fuck. Three of them already. Well, Albert was suspicious, definitely… but Griselda? No. And Hans… just, no. He didn’t really strike me as a shifter, but again… I couldn’t be sure.

“Well…”

“Quiet,” Levi drew his blade, sensing someone in the darkness. Light footsteps were approaching, and all three of us waited. However, when the two figures appeared from the shadows, I was a bit disappointed. 

It was Eren Jaeger, accompanied by his loyal, adoptive sister.

***** 

Levi’s squad was active the whole night. They were tirelessly supervising parts of the West Unit, like their leader was supervising me. Connie and Sasha were after Collin, Brett and Klaus. Jean and Armin were after Hans, Joshua and Christiana… and Eren and Mikasa were after Albert, Anastasia, Hilda and Griselda. Some members of Hanji’s team worked closely with them, to assist, so Hanji was the first one to know about their activities, since Levi was busy by analyzing my behavior. 

Eren and Mikasa showed up first, since they were patrolling closest to us all at that point.

“Sir?” Eren hesitated, not knowing whether to speak in front of me or not… which was pretty expected reaction when you sum this all up. After all, the West Unit held a possible traitor, who could have happened to be me. 

“Let us hear, Jaeger. Corporal Schwarz is an active soldier now, operating under Special Operations’ Unit due to circumstances. You may trust her,” Levi said, his voice firm and monotonic. 

We acted quite formal in front of them, like we only met a few moments ago, before their arrival. I mean, we behaved that way in front of Hanji too, so, it was easy to pretend in front of a clueless cadets. I was steady, very calm as I’ve listened to their insight on my squad. I had no time to deal with the inner eruption of feelings that was boiling inside of me… I had to keep myself within the boundaries of pure reason, if I didn’t want to lose it and ruin all the effort these people made just because I was overemotional. 

That report wasn’t surprising at all, considering Hanji already told us who was behaving out of order tonight… they just provided us details. Hans was spotted in the east part of the hq. 

“What are we going to do now, sir?” Jaeger asked Levi. The current situation was alarming. The four of my people were showing suspicious behavior. Four of them, like one traitor wasn’t bad enough. Shit. That hit my ego pretty hard. Was I that dumb? And blind? Really? 

“Schwarz will interrogate her suspect, and we will back her up. We have no time to lose. Stay quiet and prepared. We can’t allow any surprises,” he said. Mikasa pulled the scarf around her face and said nothing, while Eren nodded. Levi turned to me. 

“Who do we interrogate first?”

Hell, we are really doing this… against my own squad… 

“You go to Albert. Press him hard, and use all the necessary force. He won’t talk easily, he never did. He’s a tough one, so… break a few bones along the way.” 

Hanji giggled. “You are a cruel one too, aren’t you?” 

“I prefer to be called practical instead,” I said. 

Albert was a very capable soldier, with splendid leading qualities. He was exceptional in battles, so I entitled him to lead one of the three groups, which I created in process of capturing the Armored Titan. His group wasn’t informed of the real plan, though. The only people who knew were Collin, Brett, Hannah, Anastasia and Lotte. (Wilhelm knew it too, but he died on mission so we can’t really count him in). Those were all people from my group who knew… and who didn’t do anything to compromise my goal. So, I eliminated them to narrow the circle of suspicion. 

Levi just sighted. “Albert it is.” I knew it won’t be just a few bones Levi will break… he could inflict so much pain on Albert he’d admit to anything… but again, I trained that soldier, so he could be surprisingly tough. I trained him to endure any kind of pain… made him what he is, ultimately. So, we need something extra to help us break him. What way could be the right way with Albert? 

“Where the torture fails, the bribe won’t. Offer him a chance to save himself. He’ll betray others if you offer him a deal. His life for others,” I said.

“Why not offer him a deal first, and if it fails, torture him?” Eren asked. Ah, those younglings. They’d play fair no matter what. 

“Because I need him to feel pain. I need him to know we are willing to kill him, if necessary. The deal needs to come as a relief. Like a last chance. That way, he’ll reconsider his position and probably give away others.”

“And what if you are wrong, Corporal?” Mikasa asked, estimating me with her sharp, blue eyes. 

“Than I am very sorry for all the pain he’s about to go through. Now, concerning Griselda… I doubt she is the shifter, although it seems she might be. I believe her only fault in all of this are her feelings for him. Be kinder to her in the process, and while interrogating, keep them apart. We don’t want them to craft a story. She will want to protect him, no matter what,” I said. 

Griselda was… alienated in a way, yet social. Obedient, but hard to approach. Somewhat like Bertholdt, but you can’t determine the shifter behavioral pattern on only one example. I mean, look at Reiner. He was everyone’s favorite. Good, loyal. Nobody suspected his motives. Griselda was cold, and a bit distant, but her actions until now were all in favor to humanity. She was silent about her affairs, though, especially regarding Albert, who also happened to be her boyfriend, so… their reasons could be entirely human. They were a couple, they could’ve sneaked out a lot to be alone, like Hans and Christiana did. However…

“Albert was my primary suspect after analyzing them all. He acted very… strange when he learned that my group captured the Armored Titan. He was… angry. I thought it was because I made three separate groups and only mine knew the true plan for capturing Braun. He was mad because he was excluded and accused me of being dishonest with my squad. It offended him, he said. He wanted to participate and contribute to humanity, he said. It was suspicious to me back then, but he never showed any other sign he was upset about shifters, so I let it go. It appears that man won’t stay down. But Griselda… she’s involved, but not a shifter,” I said.

“And what about Joshua? And Hans?” Eren asked. “Armin said the two of them met in secrecy… and were mentioning the Ape, and were arguing over it. Supposedly, Hans wanted to leave tonight, and Joshua prevented him, telling him they needed to play things wisely. He also mentioned they can’t be discovered,” the boy added, paraphrasing the conversation they overheard. 

“Leave Hans to me. I’ll deal with him after I interrogate my suspect,” I said. Though I felt in my guts he wasn’t the traitor, I knew I had to check on him too. “And Joshua… well, the boy is an exceptional baker, but I’ve always known he wasn’t much of a soldier material. Rough him up, and he’ll reveal what that was all about. Now, I’ll leave that to you, young cadets. I need to chase my own demon.” 

I looked at Mikasa. It was the same, cold, dead, and threatening gaze I sometimes saw in Levi’s eyes. In Kenny’s too, though I’ve just recently discovered his last name. Those Ackermans… I wonder if that family exists solely to kill others, whether they were after humans or titans. 

“Griselda and Joshua for you two, then. Go after them. I’ll join you soon,” Levi sent his subordinates away. They fled, hidden in the shadows. We needed to do that too if we hoped to remain unnoticed. 

“What do you have in mind, Schwarz?” Hanji asked, very curious about my behavior. 

“Joshua isn’t a shifter either, but those two… Ackerman and Jaeger… need to confirm that out for me,” I said. “Regarding Hans… he sounds like a traitor from that conversation, but he’s not a shifter. Something big is going on. Someone hides better than we’d expected, but I’ll unmask that snake.” 

She smiled. “I know you will. Take this with you, now. You are one of the chameleon soldiers, and I need you to follow the procedure.” She handed me the syringe. 

“I need to check this one out myself, if that’s ok with you,” I said. 

“Sure. God knows I am tired of dealing with possible traitors tonight. So, good luck with your hunt, Corporal. I shall proceed with prisoners; they must’ve confessed something new up to this point. I’ll join y’all later to help with interrogation,” Hanji said. I nodded.

My secondary suspect wasn’t noticed as suspicious at all… which only made me assured of my judgment. I was almost a ninety percent confident about it. My anger boiled inside my veins, as I tried to breathe evenly to calm myself down. I am enraged, because I am betrayed. I am betrayed because I was stupid. I am so disappointed with myself. I am even… in pain… but this is a different kind comparing to pain of loss. This was pain which produced the fury, the desire for retaliation. 

There are some occasions when I actually allow myself to go berserk, to lose the control, and not because I couldn’t control myself, but because I didn’t want to. And tonight was one of those occasions. I wanted to kill. To draw blood… human blood. To take a life. Levi felt it too.

“Deep breath. In and out. Do it,” he ordered. I inhaled, feeling the disturbing beating of my heart. 

Fuck this world we live in. When I think about it, the only thing I see around me is misery, fear and death. I see people betraying others for their own sake. I see sulking, cowardice, pain, selfishness and ignorance. I see indifference and hopelessness. How do you survive in a world like that? 

Why, the fuck, I need to lose something again? It’s like a cruel joke. 

“I am calm. Go after Albert, we mustn’t lose any more time on theories.” 

“Yeah.” He passed me, making a few steps in the distance. I’ve felt a sudden cold around my heart. A chilling sensation which I couldn’t shake off. Was I… afraid? 

He put his hand on my shoulder, not looking in my direction. “Be careful, brat.” 

I touched his fingers, not looking at his face either. 

“I will.” 

He removed his hand, stepping away from me. 

“Don’t worry about me,” I added, just in case. I wanted him to believe I will be fine. 

“And you, don’t hesitate…”, he warned, “…no matter what”. 

We took our separate ways… but I knew where to look afterwards. Hans… was a distraction. Just a bait everyone else took, but not me. Not tonight, when everything finally fell to place… where it should. Everything finally made sense to me.

That’s why I found Christiana’s room… and went in without knocking.


	14. Christiana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_It only hurts more when you know them._ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link:http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Christiana-pt-14-480503450?ga_submit_new=10%253A1413858657&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 14)  
by galateabellator, Sep 5, 2014, 5:23:49 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance  


**_WARNING: Strong language, sensitive content, and (if it can even be considered) a bit of gore._ **

**PART 14 - Christiana - Levi x OC**

At first, I was hoping that I was terribly wrong. That Christiana wasn’t really a shifter, and that my guts have failed me. That my mind was playing with me, and that my hectic life made me paranoid. Hell, I was honestly hoping for it… hoped that I truly was the dumbest bitch in the Scouting Legion at that point. I mean, all the suspicious people have already been spotted, by extremely capable chameleon soldiers who did the hardest part in this long, long, and risky night. And they didn’t see anything suspicious in Christiana’s behavioral pattern. Was I out of my mind, or what? 

Why, the fuck, this needs to be so hard? 

_**Chameleon soldiers.**_ The name says it all… they were those ‘sleeper’ types of soldiers whose sole job was to detect, confirm and subdue their suspects. They were stationed in every single squad, and activated at times like these. 

However, the best of the best between chameleon soldiers, were the members of the North Unit. The entire section consisted of spies, trained and tutored in the arts of tracking, locating, and deducing… all while operating on human soil, and all while pretending they were doing random, boring army tasks. Everybody considered them to be… well, superfluous, the least necessary part of the military - yet again, the whole Scouting Legion had to prove their worth to humanity too, so one unit more or less didn’t matter. They were also previously known as the _Papirology_ Unit, the term given out of mockery by locals. But, many of those couldn’t know the true nature of that squad, and many inside the military itself couldn’t even assume what that unit did. And they did a lot, from shadows. 

They’ve rarely went on expeditions, hardly ever beyond the Walls, but that didn’t reduce their actual competence. Thanks to them, Erwin was always one step ahead of every turmoil that ever happened inside the human world. He was always informed and involved with human politics, economics, government, happenings, even in civil activities. The North Unit was the Humanity’s Observing Unit, but they didn’t observe carefully enough tonight. Must be the small number of participants the North Unit provided this time. But, who could blame them? After all, they were keeping the titan trio in the Utopia District, carefully monitoring over the traitors, after Military Police provided to be… well… we all know what a bunch of aggressive, blood and power-thirsty idiots those were. The North Unit handled the inside matters, and every possible betrayal. 

However… there’s only a certain amount of betrayal I could handle… and not this. Not Christiana. Or so I thought, in the time I was standing before the door of her room.  
But, after the wave of emotions rushed away, I’ve become completely calm. Cold. It was just a matter of time, this would happen, really. 

I could switch from emotional brat into a cold-hearted assassin by the sheer force of will. My killer ‘trigger’ was activated - and a killer needs a strong arm, steady aim, and a clear mind. A killer needs to stay quiet and composed - all which I knew too well, better than I've ever wanted. 

I was ready for whatever waited for me behind that door. I pushed them slowly, surprised they were unlocked and that easy to open. 

The room I entered was in a complete mess. Some things were scattered all over the floor. There’s been a fight, and a very recent one, so I’ve walked carefully, making ghost steps over everything I’ve managed to spot in the dark. Also, I remained quiet. 

If I learned anything in the Underground, it was sneaking and spying - which I’ve fully mastered after being a member of the North Unit myself. I could stay invisible like any other chameleon soldier, because I’ve been a fully active member of Aurora Amsel’s squad for a few short months before finally switching into the West Unit. 

The long lost ‘sleeper’ in me finally woke up. 

**\- - - - - Before the confrontation - - - - -**

I’ve never thought I was one of those squeamish girls who get upset easily – well, at least not when I was fully formed as a personality. (I won’t take into account my early childhood, because hey, we were all screaming brats once upon a time). I wanted to think of myself as of a strong woman, given the circumstances. I was almost immune to the gore, to the death, to the loss of soldiers. They would perish in front of my eyes like trampled flowers, but I wasn’t bothered by that anymore, because I was half expecting it. That behavior became the necessity the moment I took the responsibility to lead. However, no matter how strong you think you are, or expect you are… there’s always that someone who proves you wrong. Who crushes you. 

Christiana was the first person to welcome me into the West Unit, and was the first one to support my new rank.

When I graduated, and joined the Scouting Legion, I was a first member of the Special Operation’s Unit, hand-picked by Levi. But, the piled-up tension between us grew bigger each day, and for various reasons I’ve decided I needed to go. I needed a change. It was all too weird, us being together for almost three years and hiding it from everybody. I thought I could handle that, but the truth was… it started to bother me. Profoundly. 

So, I asked Erwin to allow me to transfer. He approved, and sent me into the North Unit, to work under the squad leader Amsel. However, I wasn’t happy there. I wanted to go on extramural expeditions, and I wanted to fight titans. Going after the good old civilians wouldn’t provide me the pleasure to polish my titan killing skills. Leader Amsel saw that too. She told Erwin it’s a shame to waist my natural potential by staying inside Walls, when I could contribute to humanity as an active, field soldier. And, I was transferred once again, this time on behalf of my leader.

But it hasn’t been easy, or pleasant in the West Unit, in my early days. I rose from cadet to corporal in the record period of time, and many members envied me for it… and even hated me for it. Some have been waiting to become leaders within unit for years… but Erwin named me, a sudden brat they had to welcome, and she suddenly becames Corporal, no less. She must’ve tricked him… or better - fucked him, or both, as the stories were at that time. They didn’t even tried to hide them from me.

I had to deal with the dissatisfaction and disapproval. There were those who were older than me. Who had more experience, and were splendidly good fighters. They didn’t want a girl to lead them, when they were leading the squad perfectly fine without me. I wasn’t even in the top ten graduates in my class, they’ve said. I’ve changed three units, so that must have been due to my incompetence, they’ve also deduced. But all those things… made me show them what I was truly built of. 

I showed them that I won’t be intimidated or discouraged by their words, for those were just that – words, and I was a person who favored action. I showed them that strict attitude they wanted to see, I showed them a leader. I also showed them that their skills weren’t as good as mine were… because I’ve already been trained by the Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, before I arrived there. He made me after his image, and I couldn’t be one bit incapable after that.

Christiana was with me in those tricky moments. She supported me throughout the whole period, through all missions outside Walls, through all confrontations and fights. She also trained with me, because her skills weren’t all that great. She was loving, caring, and devoted to each and every single member of this section, and everybody was fond of her. I didn’t like it, at first. I never trusted people who were opened to everybody, and loved by everybody. Something seemed off with that. 

However, the more I’ve grown to know her, I felt her genuine kindness and commitment towards her comrades. Towards me. She had that special affection towards me ever since I’ve changed units. I was having a hard time to bond with people. It’s been a problem for the longest time of my life, simply because I didn’t care enough, and wasn’t interested to became anybody’s friend. I was one of those loner-types who minded their own business, until Christiana approached me… and wanted to peek inside my shell. It was a shell. I was holding everything inside, and was anti-social because I was trying to save myself… from pain, from bonding with people who might won’t survive the next day, the next month, or expedition. I thought I might die, as well. So, what was the point of getting close? 

Christiana saw right through me. She would stick to me, asking all these unimportant questions, making me talk about stupidities and what not. She actually made me talk, brought me to soldiers, made me open up, at least for a bit. She was even forcing it, and was really a persistent little pest, but she ultimately… made me get close to others. Made me feel like I belong with them all. Made me feel like I was part of the unit, not just a pawn of humanity who will get eaten in this long, unfortunate game we called life. She made me feel like… they were my family. 

Also, she’d always been there to support, and offer some advice to anyone in need. And she was good at it. She was that smiling, optimistic idiot who persuaded me to change my attitude towards others. Before I knew, I grew to love her, like everyone else did. 

But asking all those questions… no matter how stupid or insignificant they might have been… were suspicious even at that time. Now more than ever. When I think about it, I assume that she was collecting information. Through small talk, through observation, through all situations. She was smart, I never doubted her intelligence, so it’s no wonder. She just camouflaged it with ‘gossiping’. She was the main gossiper in our unit, and it seemed so girlish, so naive… and I looked over it. Completely. I was such a fool. 

I guess I wanted a friend… so badly, so… desperately, somewhere deep down. After all, people weren’t designed to function alone. Every man needs a family, friends, someone to support him through life and accept him just the way he is. People need love, and to be surrounded by others. It was only natural, even when I struggled with that concept and denied it’s worth by pretending I didn’t need any of those things. But, I did need them. Badly. 

Other than Levi, and some childhood friends who died long before their time, I didn’t have anyone. Not really. Not even when I was in the orphanage… and not even when I enrolled in the military. I was abandoned, I didn’t have parents, so, the very concept of family was… very strange to me, though alluring. But, when you think about survival, you don’t have time to think about anything else. Everybody was a potential enemy. Everyone was suspicious in the underground district. You could never know who was on your side, or who will stab you in the back for a piece of bread… and I mean that literally. (As I’ve already mentioned, Levi was an exception. But, he wasn’t with me all the time, he had his own life, and I understood that perfectly well even at young age). When it’s about life and death, you don’t expect you could trust your own shadow. (Bad comparison. You could trust ONLY your shadow, but I am running out of good comparisons now). Rules simply don’t apply to Underground.

Being in the army meant we didn’t get to bond much, simply because of the high death rate. You can’t even meet your comrades well enough because they perish easily. And, like I said… I wasn’t interested enough to find out more about people who surrounded me. It all somehow changed after Christiana… and her constant desire to approach me. She just had to know about me… and even activated all other girls from the West Unit to get near me out of their collective curiosity. I didn’t have to ask them much, though… they’d open up to even when I didn’t ask them anything. I had that effect on people. Christiana was all about her family, sisters, brothers… how she got into army to provide them all they needed. It was almost paradoxical.

I remember how they’ve tried to outdrink me once, whole bunch from the West Unit… and tried to make me spill all of my “secrets”. Collin and Brett were particularly interested to hear what I would have to say after a large barrel of good black wine… but were utterly disappointed in the end. They didn’t expect I had a high level of drinking tolerance - I would drink, but never get drunk. In every moment, I was conscious about my actions, my thoughts, my behavior… and that’s how I knew. The only person who could outdrink me… was Moblit Berner. I believe that guy could stomach acid, considering how good he was at drinking. 

My dear, dear Christiana. Why did it have to be you, out of all other people? 

My anger took over me once again, reminding me I won’t be deceived. By anybody. This wasn’t about capturing those last possible shifters anymore, it just became personal. 

Well, thanks for the memories, Christiana. I will cherish each and every one of them, even after I snap your lying neck or put my blade into your lying throat. Either will do… you cunning little snake.

**\- - - - - Back to now - - - - -**

She was sitting in a chair, in front of a wide table, and next to the window which was opened. The sky was turning bright, bathed in the pale shades of blue. The morning suggested it will be a beautiful, sunny day. Not bad for a last view, be it mine, or hers.

Her shoulders moved. Once. Twice. That’s when I’ve realized… that she was crying. She was silent, but was quietly sobbing. I’ve took the hilts of my 3DMG, and came closer to her with light steps. She didn’t hear me, or she was pretending she didn’t feel my presence at all. Whatever the case… I was moving carefully, but expecting her to react any minute now.

However, she didn’t. Not yet. She was quietly crying, and crying, and crying, unable to think about anything else but her inner feelings… whatever those might have been. 

Something was lying on the floor, next to her legs… closer to me, than to her. Something I didn’t notice before I’ve approached her to the point to expose myself. She was sobbing, her head buried in whatever was left of the table in front of her. 

I stifled my breath to obtain complete silence. It was a body, covered in almost clotted blood (with that nasty brownish color, yet somewhat… fresh). It’s eyes were wide open, and the expression on the pale face was… sad. Betrayed. Shocked. The wound was blooming in the middle of his chest, before the blood finally stopped flowing. Small hilt of a military dagger was visible from the crimson center. It was dug deep into his heart.  
I observed further.

 ** _Algor mortis_** definitely hit in, chilling the remaining blood in the system, and the whole organism. It happened the very minute that blade pierced his heart, and stopped it forever. I went down, still breathless, so she wouldn’t notice I was there… but I was ready to confront her anytime now. We had some things to clarify.

While down, I’ve touched his arm. Grabbed it, to be precise. My chest hurt now, either from the lack of air, or from the pain which strike in after I’ve figured I’ve lost him, and after the thought he didn’t die the way he wanted to. He didn’t die fighting titans, but fighting humans, humans he cared about the most. Or, I should say, he died fighting the conscious titan shifters, who also happened to be the closest friends to him. And they betrayed him the same way they betrayed me. We were both victims, only he lost his heart in the process. And who knows what I will lose. 

I was touching his wrist, his fingers, sensing the skin. His body temperature didn’t drop significantly, and his fingers weren’t stiffened yet - meaning, **_rigor mortis_** didn’t start yet. It has barely affected the lesser-muscled parts of the body, but will gradually spread; affecting the larger body parts last. Which were all indications that he died barely an hour ago, two at most. God… he… he was alive when Levi’s Squad members last saw him, which was almost two hours ago. He would have still been alive if we…

No time for that now, I will deal with these horrid emotions later, when we finish capturing those who are at fault. My pain can wait. 

Play this well, Ezra Schwarz. After all, you’ve got only one chance to do it right. I backed from him, few steps in reverse, and rose up. I finally inhaled deeply, acting like I was shocked from seeing the body along the way. She has finally noticed me. 

“Christiana?” I called, revealing myself, because now was the most convenient time. Even when I felt that I didn’t need any better proof of her guilt than the one in front of me, I knew the chase was far from over… it has just begun. 

She jumped, turning her head towards me. She wanted to scream, but she wit-held herself. I squeezed my hilts tighter. I really, really wanted to slash her - the blood in my veins was on fire. One clean, nice cut, and everything would be over in an instant… that is, if I managed to cut off her head in one blow, of course. But she would expect it and probably dodge… or worse – trigger the transformation. And I couldn’t allow it because of the casualties. 

So, I needed to be smarter than that. I need to play this like a game… the game she set up a long time ago, when she enrolled into the Scouting Legion. In that game, she was my Lieutenant Colonel. She was my closest comrade, and we could say, my closest friend. And damn me if I don’t play my role perfectly for this bitch.


	15. Tread Softly, Tread Carefully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_'Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me...'_ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Tread-Softly-pt-15-480668211?ga_submit_new=10%253A1410039513&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 15)  
by galateabellator, Sep 6, 2014, 2:33:30 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**_WARNING: Strong language, sensitive content, and (if it can even be considered) a bit of gore._ **

**PART 15 - Tread Softly, Tread Carefully**

“Ezra… I didn’t hear you coming. Thank God it’s you,” she whispered. 

_I would behead that God to whom you are praying to, Christiana Fitzgerald… for he must be the cruelest son of a bitch out there._

Her eyes were swollen, red. Hot tears were still smeared on her skin. I came closer. I openly stared into the corpse, to the face who was laughing with me for years, who shared my food, my fears, my missions. Who was a stupid, foolish boy who fell in love, and did everything he could do to make it work. He even lied for it. Betrayed for it. And he died for it, in the end. 

“No… it can’t be…” I whispered. “He can’t be… dead…” 

I’ve always thought that love can either make us exceptionally strong… or completely, and utterly weak. It can elevate us really high, where everything seems well and perfect. But, it also degrades us, to the lowest pits of desperation. And quite often, love does both. But one mustn’t allow feelings to cloud one’s judgment. Love is a trap, for both mind and heart, and allows to our partner to manipulate us in a way we’d never have even dreamed of. It can change us… for better, or for worse. Some people change to the point beyond recognition. 

I’ve felt it on my own skin. I knew passion, and I knew love. I loved one man my whole life, and that will probably last until I am long dead, and gone. I was the type who either gives it all, or gives nothing. There’s no middle ground. That’s what love did to me. But, no matter what my emotions were… (and I have been very emotional, and very in love) I’ve always tried to be realistic and let my mind prevail, which was the case in most of my situations. I’d always think before allowing myself to do anything. Even with Levi. I’d known all the risks and all the possible outcomes with him, even when I was in the biggest emotional heath. But, some people never think before they act, they just follow that drive inside of them - and burn.

Ultimately, it’s ours to decide what that strong urge we call ‘love’ will make of us. It doesn’t even have to be love, for that matter. I just… don’t understand those who say: ‘I couldn’t stop myself, or I did it because I felt it, and couldn’t help it’. No. Everyone can stop, and think. Think before they hide behind an excuse of being emotional. They could’ve stopped themselves, they just didn’t want to. I was trying to be honest in that matter, at least. 

I’ve killed a man when I was eight years old, and I’ve killed him because I wanted to. Simple as that. I could’ve stopped, I’ve had a choice. But, he wanted to hurt me, and I wanted him dead. He begged me to spare him, but I didn’t want to. Before my actions, I’ve thought how that might damage me for the rest of my life, and I knew that it would. I still killed him, all the same. That was my choice. The choice I made fully sober, under the great influence of pain, hurt, and stress, yes, but the choice which was calculated.

What to do with that fire inside of us, whether it was love, or fear, or revenge – our doing was our choice… ours alone. All emotions can be controlled. We simply choose not to. I chose not to be controlled by them either, that’s why I always think before doing something from pure impulse. 

But Hans was something entirely different comparing to me. He was mesmerized by Christiana, so devoted to her, so… under her spell, that it has almost been ridiculous. People tend to became fools when they fall in love, me included, yet again… I’d always known what I was doing. He didn’t. He allowed her to manipulate him, to seduce him and loved her more than the life itself. And it looks like that was exactly the price he ultimately had to pay. His life. 

“You… two…” I started, alluding on the obvious. Will she admit? Or… 

“Don’t. D-don’t even go there, Ezra…” she begged, “…I would… n-never… never!”

It’s gonna be that way, huh? 

“What happened? What happened to him?” I asked, in a worried manner, putting my hand around her shoulders. That simple move was supposed to reassure her, to make her believe I was on her side, and that I’d be there for her no matter what, because we were close. It was supposed to convince her that I was blind, and clueless as usual, and that I didn’t posses the real threat to her. I knew how to hide things. I was involved with Levi for longer than I can remember, yet nobody around me knew that fact - not my squad, and not even my friends, no matter how close we were. And nobody knew the darkness that lurked deep inside of me, since the earliest days. The darkness which helped me to evolve into the soldier I finally became. 

Hans stared back at me, with those shallow eyes and lips which were formed to say something… something none of us will ever hear. But I saw it… the perfect accusation, before his final breath left his body. Asking, for justice he might never receive. 

All I can do now, is wait. Depending on her answer, I will know exactly what happened. Or rather… how it happened. After that… well, it was about time to unleash the famous rage which earned me that famous nickname. 

_Corporal Bitch._ Yeah, with the capital ’B’. No one is as creative or as offensive as those who name you behind your back. And I will demonstrate to this maggot exactly why they keep calling me like that.

\- - - - -

“It… i-it was… A-Albert… he… he k-killed… he… killed Hans…” she sobbed. She really sobbed, and started shaking, like she meant every word. Now, she was either a splendid actress to put such an emotional show for me (which wouldn’t surprise me) or she was honest at least about this. Hans’ death might have really disturbed her, affected her more than she even admitted to herself.

But the answer… her answer settled it all for me. 

“Albert?” I asked, with my best concerned tone. Play dumb, now. Play completely dumb, miss-Schwarz. “But, why would Albert…” 

“He was… he was a-arguing with Hans… a-about th-is m-mission. I… I c-can’t…I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” the panic was getting the best of her. She didn’t have the blood on her uniform, or anywhere on her hands, but she definitely had time to change it, and wash the blood away. 

“Calm down, please. What are you talking about?” I asked. Now, listen carefully. 

“He said... something about leaving the hq tonight… Ezra, he’s the villain! He works with them… with the Ape… he… he must be… a shifter! That’s why he needed Hans to help him out… while everybody was sleeping… and he needed Hans as a decoy… to distract the spies or… I don’t know… and … and he… he told him he was going to hurt me if… if he didn’t do… exactly what he asked… Hans went to someone… I don’t know… Albert stayed with me, and held that dagger onto my throat all the time, until Hans got back. I couldn’t warn anyone… I… couldn’t save Hans… my God… I ... Albert must be a shifter…”

Really? We are already mentioning that horrid little word? We are already staging the show? 

Her story would have made sense - too perfectly if we take into account that Albert was the shifter, and the possibility that she wasn’t. It could have been the truth, but I ruled that option out after the reports Hanji and Levi’s squad provided us with. Besides… she gave me too much information. Instantly. Revealed things I didn’t ask her at all. Things I didn’t need to know. That was the first obvious sign that she was, indeed, lying, besides the fact that I’ve already knew that. 

I stroked her hair. “My poor, poor thing. It must’ve been hard. But, don’t you think you are overreacting with the assumption he is the shifter? I mean, isn’t it a bit too much?” I asked in a manner like I was genuinely shocked. Now, I need to fake denial, and Ezra Schwarz’s standard way of thinking, which was – considering all the possible options, before bringing the final decision. 

I continued: “He might be a deserter, or a killer, probably a psychopath who couldn’t withhold himself. You know, not all monsters amongst us are titans. Albert might have a serious mental problem, which have manifested after a giant pressure he couldn’t suppress. But, a shifter? I think we would figure that out a long time ago. Don’t you?” 

“A deserter? Does he really strike you like that type? Come on, you are in refusal! He is something much bigger than that! He killed Hans! He might be a psychopath, but… he… mentioned the Ape… he was panicking, and he… he told me how he needs to go after that creature… to warn it or… I don’t know… he wanted to go away before anyone could figure out what he truly was… don’t you see? He must be… working for that beast, if he isn’t a shifter! Are you even listening to me?”

“I do, I just… maybe you’ve got it all wrong,” I offered another possibility. 

“Either way, he’s suspicious! Dangerous! Please, Ezra… I am… I can’t think right now… he killed Hans! He… ” Yeah, yeah, Albert killed Hans, according to the poor little you. I got it. 

“SSsshhhhh. It’s going to be alright, dear,” I hugged her. I tried to reach inside my sleeve in the process, but it was a bit tricky in this situation.

Turning angst-y there a bit, aren’t we? The second sign of an obvious lie. When a person lies to you, he or she tends to get angry in order to prove their point and make you ashamed you even doubted them. They tend to repeat their statements a lot. I was listening to her, indeed. Listening well, this time. Even in a physical manner. Her breathing is heavy, her voice changed its color. It became deeper. Due to stress? I highly doubt it. I was listening to her feet, which were shuffling. I didn’t even have to look. Shuffling feet were another, clear sign. Which could be interpreted as stress and anxiety, but hey, I’ve finally decided to switch off from that perspective. Too many signs now, once I’ve decided to pick them in a right way. When you know where to look for, and what to look for, it’s quite easy to confirm your doubts.

“It will never be alright… never again. I need you to catch him, Ezra.” 

She was avoiding looking at me at first, but her eyes were fixed on me now. She is playing me. She is watching my behavior. 

“I will. You don’t need to tell me something like that,” I raised an eyebrow. I leaned toward her. “I never liked the guy in a first place. I will find him and torture him so badly he will beg for death. But, in light of being the sadistic bitch everyone else takes me for - I won’t give him that satisfaction.” That’s it. Keep looking at me. I promise the same to you. Can you see that too, Christiana? Can you see the treat? Are you reading between the lines? 

“You aren’t a bitch. You are a good person behind that mask of yours. You only pretend to be cold, but you have a very warm, carrying heart. You are the strongest person in the world, and right now, I need that strength of yours,” she smiled. But, it wasn’t one of those honest, genuine smiles. It was forced, as well as her flattery. Time to shake this up a bit. 

“And I will use it to punish that traitor,” the almighty me answered in all her heroic dignity. “Now, what about spies?” 

“The spies?” she repeated. “What spies?” 

“You said there were spies, Christiana - that Albert mentioned there were some. What was he referring to?” I asked again. 

Her face altered. It was a micro-expression, the one which I didn’t miss this time. She almost blew her cover. She almost turned angry before she made that weak face of hers, full of pain. 

“I don’t know… that was… some lucid idea of his… he thought somebody spied on him… or so…” 

_Yeah. You are calling them spies. What an irony, when you are the one._

“He said it? He said those exact words?” I insisted.

“Why are you asking me all of these things? I told you I don’t know! But what I know is, that you must go after him…”

She is trying to buy time. To send me after Albert as soon as she manages to, because she needs to escape. I don’t know how… but she believes she has a way. And she is running out of time. 

“Christiana, I am only trying to figure out what happened, and why Albert would behave that way. He knew he would be caught. Why would he risk taking you hostage, and not somebody else? Why would he risk involving Hans? Or anyone at all?” 

I reached for the syringe once again, hidden in my sleeve.

“Because… because I am pregnant. I have… too much to lose… and I’ve already lost Hans… because… I… does it even matter?” she sobbed, again. “You need to find him, before he escapes...”

“You are right. We can’t really figure out why that traitor behaved the way he did, until we catch him,” I agreed. “However, we can’t go after him alone”. 

“W-we?” she asked. “I am… afraid… what may happen to my baby… Albert is strong, and very dangerous… and I… I am afraid that in my condition, I won’t be helpful. But I… I know… we need people… so we should call for Collin… or Brett… or…” 

_So you could kill them while we pursuit Albert, while nobody suspects you? To escape afterwards?_

“Oh, no. This can’t be dealt from within the squad. We must go to Erwin. Now. You need to report this to him, this is a very serious matter,” I said. Let’s see how you’ll evade this, you little vermin. 

“To… to Erwin?”

“Yeah, to Erwin. Why didn’t you go to him in the first place? Why didn’t you ask for me?” 

“I… I was… I was shocked. I was… I was numb… with Hans dead before me… I was…”

“I need you to calm down first. We will fix this, I promise.”

“But, Ezra…” 

“Don’t worry, Christiana. I will protect you, remember? We’ve always held each other’s backs. Besides, don’t you want to avenge Hans? He didn’t deserve to die like that,” I reminded her, with a serious expression on my face. With me, she could’ve been the safest person in the Scouting Legion. That’s what my position meant, and I offered her to rely on that. “Nothing will happen to you while you are with me. That son of a bitch can’t be far… besides, there’s no way he’d beat you. With your gear, you are the second best soldier in our unit. That has to count for something, doesn’t it?” 

“Yeah, but… the baby…” 

_Oh, fuck that baby of yours, it isn’t even real! I can't believe I bought that lie for an instant. Bitch._

“Nothing will happen to your child,” I reassured her, and she hugged me, shaking violently from another hysterical attack. I’ve finally managed to pull the syringe out, and brought it close to the nape if her neck. 

“I will take care of you,” I whispered. I inserted the needle deep into her skin, violently, like I was piercing it with a knife. She screamed, and pushed me away before I’ve had a chance to press the top until the end. Half of the dose was inside of her, but the other half… well, screw it. She took the whole thing out in one furious, annoyed motion. Well, the odds weren’t exactly in my favor, were they? It doesn’t matter. I was going to do this my way anyway. 

She wasn't sure how to react, and what to say, so I relieved her of a further dilemma. 

“Don’t play the victim, I’ve barely faked I believed you this far,” I warned, closing the exit. She has to go through me, and I bet she will. With everything she has. Hanji needs to appear quickly, if she wants to capture her _alive_.

“Ezra, I am surprised. After all, you _did_ believe me for four years.” 

Yeah, I suck big time. 

“Well, I am only close to being perfect. Everybody needs a flaw or two, don’t you think?” I asked. 

She frowned, with a deadly glare in her eyes. Then, her lips curved into a wicked smile which never touched her eyes. They remained cold, as she was staring at me with that deep desire to kill. It was the expression I’d never expect to see on her. But, hey, the parole ’expect the unexpected’ was a literal description of my whole life. It’s so exciting to be me. Yay. 

“I must admit you almost fooled me. I actually thought you weren’t aware of the situation, yet alone that you would oppose me or try to be dishonest with me. _Me_. Your dearest friend,” she mocked. “You know, Corporal…” Christiana Fitzgerald rose,“… I’ve never thought you had it in you.” 

Her face was completely different to how it looked like only moments ago. The sobbing, pathetic and frightened creature disappeared, only to be replaced with this smiling, insolent trickster. She was calm. Even her voice changed, along with her attitude. 

It was almost creepy, but I’ve seen enough creepers in my lifetime, so this didn’t came as a big surprise. 

“Oh, I bet you didn’t. You are yet to reveal what I have in me, you cunning little bitch,” I made a fist, and I rushed towards her. I’ve punched her hard, right in those shiny, white teeth. Something cracked. Something broke. I just had to wipe out that smirk of hers… and I was only warming up.


	16. The Trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_She tends to overlook some rules, and certain commanders._ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-The-Trigger-pt-16-481859545}

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 16)  
by galateabellator, Sep 12, 2014, 7:54:13 AM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**_WARNING: Strong language, and slightly sensitive content (in terms of action and fight)._ **

**PART 16 - THE TRIGGER - Levi x OC**

The first rule of making a good, strong fist is squeezing your knuckles together. The bones in your hands serve as stabilizers, providing you the necessary coordination, and your fist functions like a single unit. However, if you squeeze the knuckles too tightly, they will separate and spread, which can only benefit your opponent. Also, keeping your fist clenched after hitting the desired spot is not desirable, because you stay exposed to an easy counterattack by your opponent. 

The second rule is the placement of your thumb. You should press the tip of the thumb against the fold of the forefinger’s second knuckle, which provides all the necessary force after you’ve wrapped all your fingers correctly. But, if the thumb is too stiff, it can pull apart the bones at the bottom of your hand, and cause injuries of the wrist. That’s why you practice hard not to injure yourself while hitting another person. It’s all about finding a balance. 

Of course, you can expect to knock someone out only by hitting them once in the face. It happens, yes… but those occasions are rare. A trained soldier, however, won’t lose to one correctly interpreted punch. But, a soldier or not… one effective punch in the solar plexus or in the ribs could harm him better than one effective punch in the head. Moreover, if you punch as if you are striking something an inch or more behind your target, your punch will have more power and driving force.

I knew all that. I just chose to go straight for her face, just because she pissed me off. Besides, she expected I would go for her throat, rather than her chain or temple. While fighting, the most damage is inflicted in these points - chain, temple, stomach and ribs. One of the common rules were also to go after the throat first, or after the sides of the neck (close to the carotid artery). Why? It’s the easiest way to mess with your opponent’s breathing. And we all know how important is to keep your breath stabilized while fighting. I’ve also tried to avoid a thing we usually call “telegraphing”, which was showing to our opponent your next move by holding your hands in a specific path line. 

When I hit Christiana, I hit with all my might, rolling my hips into a punch, and curving both of my legs. You have to use hips to maximize the power, because your shoulders support your hands that way and you get a more efficient blow. Correct straight punch is stretching the INSIDE of the arm, not outside, because once you do that, the arm rotates to the inside. After that, the arm will curve in a slow recovery, and the body will rotate away from the opponent - which provides them the time to strike you back, and fast. You don’t want to be wide open. 

Christiana’s head cocked aside. The first punch I threw only loosened her teeth, and made them crack. But, the second one I inflicted on her broke a few of her upper teeth, sending them down her throat. And, I was yelling like a maniac in the process. It was the pure adrenaline rush, the awakening of an animal, who didn’t pay much attention to her own limbs in the process. 

Going after her teeth was risky. It was stupid of me. And yes, I’ve risked a fucking ‘fight bite’, because I wanted this bitch to stop smiling. Now, a fight bite is the term we use to describe the situation where you angle your punch wrongly and bring your body directly into the teeth. However, it wasn’t exactly the case with me… so instead of getting a nasty gash in my own palm, I miraculously ended up with a very small incision, on the top of my second knuckle. It could still cause a serious infection, because no matter how you look at it… human mouth are disgusting, and full of saliva which contains all those ugly microorganisms. But fuck it, it was worth it. She wasn’t laughing anymore. I was, instead. She tried to hit me back, once, twice, but was disoriented, so I’ve managed to block her attempts.

“B-bit-tj…” she spat, sending her teeth on the floor. You are calling me a bitch? How ironic. 

“I’m sure you’ll get the new ones very soon, with your regeneration and all.” I’ve prevented her punch, and I’ve landed my own. Her eyes were filled with tears from pain, and I am sure her mouth felt like shit up to now. Her face was smeared with blood, and had a large bruise on left cheek. By tomorrow, it will turn purple. But let’s stay positive - by tomorrow, she will probably be dead, so the color of her face won’t really matter. 

She tried to kick my upper body. Good attempt, but I’ve evaded by moving aside, and we were both equipped with maneuver gears, so kicks were extremely difficult at this point. However, she managed to kick me in the leg and I almost lost my balance, but maintained it by going a few steps behind just to enlarge the space between us. I’ve already held my breath, so the pain didn’t came as sharp as it could. It still hurt. She almost punched me in the nose as well. 

She wants to go out. Badly. But I am an obstacle she won’t easily pass, not by fighting like this… and she is running out of time.

It went on forever. I’d hit her, she would hit me back. We went after each other’s weak spots, but, none of us was getting the real advantage, as the other would recover quickly from the recent blow. After all, we’ve trained together for so long… we knew what we could expect from each other.

She pulled her blades out, and I drew mine, and we started an unusual, and ambi-dextral sword fight, not commonly seen between the soldiers of humanity. It was like a high-risky dance fight, where she could easily chop me in pieces, as well as I could chop her. Hans’s body provided us another unpleasant and disturbing obstacle while fighting, so we both had to watch our steps because we didn’t want to trip over and be defeated in such a stupid manner. 

The commotion finally caused enough noise for others to notice that something serious was going on. Soldiers were coming… I could hear murmurs and footsteps outside. I bet the chameleons returned, and that some will barge in very soon. 

The castle was finally waking up. Christiana realized that too, and was in a complete confusion. In panic. What will she do, now? 

The reason I went after her teeth in the first place, was also so she couldn’t bite into her hand, and transform while in this room. It was in order to buy the time. It’s not like the shifter needs to specifically bite an arm to transform, but it was one of the ways, so, I wanted to prevent it and to provide a small diversion until I figure out what to do next, before she triggers her transformation and crushes this place under her weight. Well, either the whole place, or a part of it. Whatever the case… she couldn’t risk to be stuck under the collapse. That’s why she didn’t want to shift if she absolutely didn’t have to. 

Personally, I couldn’t assume what class of titan she would became. For all I know, she could be a fifteen meters class, like Jaeger, or a five meters type class, which would bring me the tremendous amount of joy because it would make my task easier. That would also support my theory about the building and collapsing, and… well, you know. The smaller titan she was, the bigger the building and crush and tra-la-lah. 

I somehow doubted she was the Colossal type, or she would have transformed a long time ago, sending us all in the very pits of Hell. The same goes for the Armored type. She wouldn’t hesitate to crush everyone if she had a strong defense, and her hesitation meant she didn’t have an armor type skin. Or, Hanji’s drug worked better than I hoped, and caused a deviation inside of her blood. She can’t shift. Or won’t. What is the case? 

Well… it could be that she can shift, but has a different orders from whoever she is working for. No time for that. I need to focus on things which are currently going on, not on theories. 

Engaging in a duel with double blades was an extremely difficult thing to do, especially since my opponent was a double blade wielder as well. I was getting sweaty, and my body was tightened. How long before I start trembling, and getting those unwilling muscle spasms? This action… was becoming more and more troublesome, for both of us. 

She was breathing heavily, trying to get enough air to continue moving. I’ve pushed her back into the room, almost to the table, and I could guess it was safe to say that I’ve cornered her. 

“I… khan… stj-ijll… twanfowm…” she mumbled, trying to form words, which was hard due to her condition. I was struggling to figure out what she was trying to tell me. I can still transform. 

“You can try, but I gave you a half of a substance which will prevent your shifting. A half is a half… not as effective as the whole dose, but who knows what side effects your transformation could have, with that thing already inside your system,” I said, bringing the blade very close to her neck. She blocked it with hers, and the metallic edges of swords smashed.

“I… wiw… kiw… wou…” You will kill me? You would have, if you could have. But you can’t.  
“Shift. Come on, shift!” I dared to provoke her. It’s not like she will hold up because it was me, or because we used to be friends. She will do whatever she can to ensure her survival. 

“Then, shift, Christiana. It will only increase my resolve to kill you. You might kill a whole bunch of soldiers in the process, but I swear to you - I will take you down either way. Human or titan. Whatever the fuck you are. I WILL BRING YOU DOWN!” I screamed, in anger, and she recoiled. She might as well shift out of her own fear, or rage.

“Wou…”

“However, despite my own goal… if you surrender now, I will let you live,” I added. I’ve said it, but I didn’t mean it. Not really. 

“Wou… ‘ave… t-t-t… to… wet we wive… iff… wou want a-an-swewsh…”

Answers? My, my. 

“Oh, I don’t have to. It might be Erwin’s policy, to spare the shitty traitors such as yourself… but you must already know, Christiana…” I’ve pushed her back once again, too close to the window now, “… that philosophy doesn’t apply with me. I tend to overlook some rules, and certain commanders.” 

She knew it _oh so well_. 

“Surrender now, and I will spare you,” I’ve repeated. We were staring at each other, and she was sweating now. 

“Schwarz!” the voice resonated through the whole corridor. Footsteps were approaching, in a hurry, in awe. By the sound of it, there were three or four of them. 

“OVER HERE!” I’ve screamed, and Christiana took the chance to act. She tried to slice me, but I’ve bested her once again, and reacted instinctively… in one fast, deep motion, I took off her entire arm. She screamed in agony, as her limb fell, and the large sprout of blood and fume sipped from the wound, leaving an enormous pool underneath. I’ve cut into her leg too, making a deep incision, almost cutting it off too, and she was screaming in agony again. It was almost pitiful. 

Her olive eyes gave me one sharp look, full of hatred and anger. Her pupils reflected me, my image, the very thing I’ve became. Of what she turned me into, among all other factors. I am a butcher. A torturer. A killer. I am a… a beast… 

_And I love every bit of it. To the bone._

“Schwarz? What’s going on?” the voice finally found the way to this damn room. I could tell it belonged to my former teammate, Kirk Rothstein, but I didn’t dare to turn my head away from Christiana, not even for a second. 

“The Hell broke loose,” I answered, “I have a traitor.” 

Kirk barged in, followed by others. 

It all happened so fast… she triggered the transformation – the yellow bolt fell onto her, but did nothing in the first attempt. In the second, I was already pushing her with both of my hands, through the opened window, causing her to lose her balance and go over the edge. I’ve shot the first anchor into the window frame, and went after her.


	17. High Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_"People who can’t throw something important away, can never hope to change anything." - Armin Arlert_ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-High-Risks-pt-17-492008240}

LANCE CORPORAL - High Risks (pt. 17)  
by galateabellator, Nov 1, 2014, 2:56:03 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance  


**_WARNING: Strong language, and slightly sensitive content (in terms of action and fight)._**

**PART 17 - HIGH RISKS - Levi x OC**

The yellow bolt hit her, transforming her limbs into a giant mass. The titan formed in front (or, should I say, below) of me before the body even hit the ground. The force of shifting caused a large amount of wind which threatened to blow me away from my posture, but luckily, the iron wire was strong enough to support my weight. I’ve held onto it to maintain the balance. 

The ground shook heavily when the newly formed titan fell, making the cloud of dust after the impact. Had the titan bodies been as heavy as expected, the ground would probably part under the pressure. Luckily for us, when this one appeared, it only produced a minor earthquake. I was using the iron wire from my piston to advance towards the titan while going down, and I was using bricks and window frames to support me while switching the location of my anchor. 

Thankfully, she wasn’t inside the castle when she changed. This way, she broke a few trees around the main HQ, and stables were partially hit, which meant we probably lost some horses… but hey, I can stand to lose a few of those unfortunate animals in comparison to human lives. Always chose the better of two evils - that’s my motto. (Some would beg to differ if we take into account that those horses were special breed, astonishingly fast and strong - and it’s not like all our soldiers were greatly skilled on the battlefield. But hey… people over horses for me, anytime. ~~And sorry for that, Kirschtein~~ ).

“Schwarz!” Kirk shouted after me, “Stop the chase! Wait!”

_I seriously don’t have time for that now, Kirk…_

I took a good look at the creature underneath me. She was around twelve meters tall, one arm missing even in her titan form - but it was re-forming really, really fast, out of a thin air, accompanied by the fumes which rose around it. As the bones grew, the layer of reddish meat covered them. The skin occasionally grew over, but not in every place. Her teeth started to grow out too, and each and every one of them seemed to be doubled. She had too many teeth now. _And there goes all my effort._

She was well-proportioned for a titan. No over-sized head or defective limbs. She seemed rather strong in structure. Her light, brown hair fell around her spooky, skull-like face, and wide, large eyes. They were still olive green, but her appearance changed a bit – her face gained sharper features and her body had additional muscles. Her nose was longer and sharper, and her jaw was enormous, and terrifying. She was trying to get up, but had some sort of difficulty. Something was out of the ordinary, and I would bet my whole supper on the assumption that it was Hanji’s drug. 

I was finally in the range where I could hurt her, but didn’t move against her. She was lying on her back, and the nape of her neck was covered, so I’ve just observed, with drawn blades which were screaming to be soaked in titan’s blood. I’ve waited for her to get up. Patience, now. _Patience, Ezra_.

She rose. Slowly. And then… 

“SCHWARZ, STOP!” A sudden cry, thick with rage and power, tore through the air. It stopped me in the middle of going towards Christiana. Shit. I wanted to take care of this bitch myself. You’d expect Erwin to be behind this order, but this voice belonged to a female whose shouting ability could rival my own. I’ve heard her all the way up where I was standing. And her voice stopped me. Just like that. Old habits die hard, I guess. Whenever this woman gave an order, I’d obey. She yelled again. 

“ALL THE TEAMS, FIRE!”

The mechanisms moved, activating the Special Target Capture Weapon. It consisted of multiple barrels which had seven tubes – those served to carry coiled wires with arrowheads at both ends. It was the same thing Erwin and Hanji used against the Female Titan. The arrowheads dug deep into this titan’s flesh, and formed a massive, shiny web around the target. (But, there wasn’t enough of them. Not nearly, or I was expecting something beyond military’s available resources).

Christiana used her titan’s palms to protect the nape in the process. She held them tightly, but didn’t have a hardening ability… or so it appeared.

‘Chameleons’ moved with Mayor Amsel, and along with the people the Garrison provided. The extraction was about to begin. I landed to the ground as well, joining them. Other soldiers got to windows of their rooms. Far above us. Some of them were shouting, some were panicking, and some were already by my side, using 3DMG to get down to the ground as soon as possible.

“There aren’t enough barrels,” were the first words I spoke to Mayor Amsel. She smiled, and that was an honest, warm smile, reserved for an old comrade. _A friend_ , even. 

“Good morning to you too, Ezra.” Her voice was very soft when she spoke to me, so unlike the tone she used for giving orders. And although lady Aurora had this strong, commanding presence… she still had those upper-class manners and undeniable femininity which couldn’t (and didn’t) vanish despite all those years in the military service. She was as beautiful and graceful as ever. Her long, wavy hair was tucked in her usual, dark brown braid. Her vibrant brown eyes shone with a calmness I could envy her on. She was an embodiment of perfection, of balance. I missed her, I really did. There was something really comforting in her presence.

She turned towards Christiana, who was suspiciously calm. Like she’s already surrendered. And that couldn’t be a good sign, concerning the fight she put up against me. She also had a some kind of hardship, like something was freezing her him from the inside, preventing her to move. Well, preventing her _for now_.

“I didn’t really expect Erwin’s plan to work tonight, yet he proved me wrong… once again. I wasn’t assuming we would get anything from the last night’s under covered operations, yet alone something this… big.” Pun intended, I guess. Aurora’s face was serious, as she was looking the creature in the eyes. Then, Mayor raised her right arm and signalized to someone behind her. The Garrison soldiers started moving canons, previously hidden in the bushes, and lined them up in front of the titan. And I was worrying about the lack of barrels. Stupid me. Erwin truly plans everything in advance. 

“Who would have thought the Lieutenant Colonel was one of the threats to humanity. Good job on bringing her out,” Aurora said, recognizing her just by her appearance. (Erwin’s influence, right there. Aurora picks up everything as quickly as he would. It’s no wonder, those two spend a lot of time together. Plotting. Scheming. Sometimes, they even seemed like an old, married couple to me). 

“Don’t praise me just yet. I failed. I didn’t inject her with the whole dose when I had the chance.”

“You’ve proved that your suspect was a shifter, didn’t you? Also, you were the only one who suspected about her. All my cadets, all my spies… overlooked her as a threat. You didn’t. That counts. We finally have something to work with.” 

“Yeah… but it still sucks”. I’ve crossed my arms on my chest.

“You are being too hard on yourself,” she concluded. 

“Major, the lack of barrels worries me. There aren’t enough stacks for keeping her subdued much longer,” I’ve pointed out once more. Major Amsel shrugged her shoulders.

“We had to split them. We didn’t know how many titan shifters we could expect, or where, so we placed the weapon everywhere, in various positions and places…”

Soldiers from Garrison gathered around the titan. They’ve tried to get to her nape… and that’s when she moved. Suddenly. And too fast. The blow kicked various people from her upper body, and send them flying off. The blood splattered everywhere as she used her leg to smash them to the ground. God. Someone screamed. The giant arm pulled the arrowheads out of her torso, and disconnected her chains, one by one. She roared in pain, but she managed to free herself. No. No. _We had her_. This isn’t happening…

“EVERYONE, PREPARE FOR COMBAT!” Major Amsel shouted out, and activated her 3DMG. The disconnected arrowheads moved throughout the thin air, doing more damage than good. They whipped out people, harmed them. Before we knew… Christiana pulled all the wires which held her… and started stepping on everyone. Or kicked them. Or pushed soldiers away.

“SHOOT THE CANONS!” the order wasn’t even necessary, as Garrison soldiers had already started shooting, but Christiana evaded and kicked straight into those canons. Her leg moved once again, sending more cadets to early deaths. My former team-mates from the North Unit… Nikolaj, Stasha, Ruslana… were smeared among many other people from the Garrison.

Parts of dead bodies covered the ground. The blood covered the grass. We never caught Christiana in the first place, we only managed to send her straight into a rampage. I’ve reacted instantly, by shooting the grapple hook into the closest safe place – the castle wall. I did it to keep my former Major out of the harm’s way – by pulling her arm and lifting her up with me before Christiana reached her, as she intended. She almost had her. My heart was beating fast, my pulse was raging… I almost lost lady Amsel, right there.

Aurora shot her left piston into the solid stone, getting further up by using only the left wire… and I saw that she was hurt in the process after all. Her right arm was broken, it hung weirdly from her torso, like it didn’t belong there. She also seemed a bit dizzy, because she hit her head and I was afraid she’d have a concussion. Luckily, she didn’t have a cut or anything… which means she won’t have another scar on her face. She gritted her teeth, her eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t leave out any sounds of pain. 

“Fuck,” I’ve murmured, and inhaled deeply. With all the strength she had left, Aurora grabbed my shoulder. To prevent me from going. She knew what I was about to do, as well as I’ve known that she was about to call the retreat. 

“Ezra… we don’t have the advantage of the field. The maneuver gear won’t work if we try to go after her now… there aren’t enough trees around.”

“Let me go,” I warned her. 

“It’s a suicide,” she whispered. “I can’t help you in this condition. Wait for Levi. He will be here soon, with horses and all the force we need to subdue that shifter.” 

“No. We’ve tried this your way, Major. Now, we will try mine,” I’ve said. 

_Stop the guilt. Stop feeling responsible. Deal with the bitch. And mourn them all later._

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

“Don’t do it,” Major insisted. Kirk Rothstein got to her side, helping her.

“Get her to the infirmary,” I’ve told him. He just nodded. Two soldiers rushed towards us, and those two were just awaken by all the noise and the screams. Fools. I was very content to see them.

“What a way to start the morning, huh, Corporal?” Brett smiled weakly to me, shaken by the deaths, but already eager to start the chase. 

“Hideous, I say,” Collin joined. He was still yawning, and he didn’t look like he gave enough shit about the situation. His beauty sleep was stolen from him, and he couldn’t care less if the very Ape titan was in front of him. He was bored and tired, not a smallest hint of enthusiasm left in his body or voice. Brett took a good look at me. 

“You look awful. Beautiful, mind you… but awful”. 

Yeah, it happens when you fuck your ex/current/define-him-later boyfriend instead of taking a good night sleep, and then chase around the traitor who also happened to be your best friend, whose teeth you smacked into her throat, and then beat, and get beaten hard - and also pursue and almost catch her but she harms a leader you care about and kills a whole bunch of soldiers you used to work with before even the damned morning coffee was served. _Sum sumare_ , of course I look awful. I’ve had better days. 

But I couldn’t phrase it like that to my team-mate, and another close friend who also happened to have a slight crush on me. It would… _crush_ him, if you know what I mean. 

“You are a real charmer,” I ultimately said. 

“What are you doing with this giant bitch? She part of Hanji’s experiments gone wrong or what?” he wanted to know. Damn, Brett… you are slow sometimes.

“I’ll explain later. We need horses. She will probably move fast, even after the drug I’ve shot into her. Even if she was all twitchy and slow, she would still get away.” 

“Schwarz!” someone yelled from the east part, leaning through the window, “what the fuck is going on down there?” Was that Romulo? 

“How does it look like, you fool?! Bring the horses, and more soldiers. Fast!” I’ve yelled back. 

She started going in the opposite direction of the woods, and we’ve already lost the advantage of the field, as Aurora predicted. Screw those horses. We don’t have time to waste. 

“Wanna try it now, or wait for the back up?” Collin grew impatient, as Brett was stretching his arms. My boys were ready for some action. I would tell them to lay law and leave me to deal with this titan alone, but I needed help because she was moving, and the 3DMG was practically useless in this situation. So, I needed a team, and since Levi wasn’t disposable at that moment… who’s better than my own two cadets? 

“Hell no, we will take the credits for subduing this bitch. But, whatever you do, do not follow the standard procedure. Improvise on spot.” 

“But, why…” 

“Later, Collin.” 

“Meeh… ‘kay. Let’s go for this Hell ride, then.” 

Brett took my left, Collin my right side, and we all activated hooks. We’ve increased the speed by using a large amount of gas. I’ve managed to get under her kneecap. It was only a sting to her, but she stopped moving completely, in order to throw me off, or crush me. In the process, Brett managed to slice her under her thigh, as I’ve relocated the hook, going for her abdomen. We were literally climbing her, giving an arm to each other to help us get to her torso. 

“Take this, you freak!” Collin was at the highest point now, and rotated up to her shoulder. He aimed for the nape, but she caught his wire, preventing him to get to her. I’ve made my move. Before she managed to crush him, I swing and took him by his arm, pushing him onto her other shoulder. I’ve let go, leaving him there, and took a fast, vertical turn from her neck, down to her navel, slicing the flash with the set of my blades. They dug in too deeply, and became useless for the next attack. But she roared, in rage, or in pain… maybe both. I finally felt like I’ve accomplished something. I’ve took another sharp turn, switched the set of blades, and took more of that red flesh, slicing again, and again, and again… 

“Fuck…” Collin was annoyed, as he had to move fast, again, because her hand was now reaching for him. Like she was trying to squish an annoying bug, or something. He relocated lower. The other, regenerated hand reached for me, and Brett gave it a try this time, going after her fingers. He managed to chop the two off. Collin got to her elbow, taking large cuts, providing me the necessary diversion for the next phase. I’ve shot both of my anchors at her face, allowing to wires to pull me up once again. I was already on her cheek, and went up to her eyes. I dug the blades deep into her eyeballs, and felt them melt under the solid metal. 

_Always go for the eyes first, Ezra. It’s essential. The nape can only be targeted after you’ve got the eyes. Remember that._

She roared, and reflexively rose both of her palms to cover the bloody holes and squish me in the process. I left my spot just in time, by shooting the tip of my grapple. I was flying again, rotating around from her ear to her neck… but she felt it, and suddenly turned her head on the other side, facing me. Then, she pulled my wires back. Her moves were still slow, twitchy, but she was a titan, and this turn could’ve been fatal for me. 

Instead of rotating backwards, she sent me in front of her face, and she opened her mouth. I couldn’t make a sharp turn and evade because of the strength she used to pull my wires. I’ve seen the redness inside… her tongue, her enormous teeth, and… 

OH, FOR THE FUCK'S SAKE! 

“CORPORAL!” Brett yelled, stationed on her thigh, too far away to give me a hand. Collin was still on her elbow, cutting it, but she was moving too much, and they had to keep themselves as balanced as they could in those ungrateful positions. I did my best to change the course, even for a few degrees aside… and hit hard against her cheek. The lower part of my body made it in her mouth. 

She only needs to close them around me, and I am done. _I. Am. Done_. 

“BRING HER DOWN, BRETT! NOW!” I yelled, overwhelmed by panic. I need a distraction. I need him to figure out what I want. Come on! Come on… 

_She still can’t see. Her arms are currently occupied, but she can feel me against her face. Titan shifters didn’t have need to eat humans. She will eat me out of spite. I made her shift. I took her eyes. I almost made it to the nape of her neck. This was the least she could do._

_**“Tch… don’t tell me I have to save you all over again, you shitty brat.”** _

I’ve heard his voice so clearly, like he was standing right by my side. 

_**“You don’t, you fool. The only person who will save me… is me.”** _

I smiled. This is going to be insane. If I manage it, I will know I was born under the lucky star. And if I don’t… well… it was one good night before the afterlife. Could have been less intense, but still. 

I’ve pulled the wire the hardest I could, and put all my strength into my arms. I’ve never did a thing like this before, yet… they say there’s a first time for everything. So, I’ve lifted my own legs, up to her nose, and evaded the catastrophe in the last moment. She closed her mouth, her teeth hitting hardly against one another. I’ve lost the balance and went down. The gravity pulled me, as well as the weight of my own 3DMG equipment did… but I’ve managed to shoot the piston into the curve of her nose, and went up once more. That was so fucking close, my legs were trembling. Have I stayed like that a bit longer… I would have been cut in half for sure. 

CUT HER ANKLES, DAMMIT!” I screamed in a high pitch. 

“WE WILL BE CRUSHED WHEN IT LOSES BALANCE!” 

“I DON’T CARE!” 

Brett completely disabled her left arm, and Collin did a great job with her legs – her ankles were bleeding and I can only imagine how painful it has been for her. Hanji’s drug was the greatest help, though. The titan almost stopped moving. Almost froze. It’s safe to say that the mixture our crazy scientist invented saved me more than once by now. 

I took my last chance. I’ve rotated around her head, and cut through the air as I moved towards her nape. 

“STOP IT, CORPORAL!” Collin screamed, because her functional hand reached for me. 

_Good job, boys. She took the bait._

She expected that I’d be the one to cut her down, as I’ve told her before… and she knew I was a proud bitch like that. However, I knew that I would have a better chance if I let someone else to do it, while I lure her into thinking that I will play along with my pride. Collin and Brett were my team-mates since the earliest days in the military… so no one was better for cooperation than those two. (Well, except for Levi… but he had other things to do, and other suspects to torture). 

I’ve dislocated the hook's tip onto her shoulder, and Brett came from below. He was the one to cut the nape off. While the body was leaning forward, to fall, we all activated our gears again, and located them just below the nape… and waited to see how and where the body will fall. 

It has been very… tricky. We could have been crushed, with no solid support for our gears… but we’ve improvised once again. When she finally hit the ground, Collin landed next to her arm, I was on her head, and Brett was on the scapula. I don’t know whether those were our lucky stars, or gods, or fate, the lucky charms or whatever the fuck it has been… but we’ve all landed safely. We made it. 

“You crazy woman, you scared the shit out of me!” Collin bawled at me, and I’ve smiled. Widely. 

“I always do, don’t I?” 

“It almost ATE YOU!” he was being over-dramatic. 

“It surely tried.” 

Brett was staring at the opening. Christiana was planted deep into the titan flesh, unconscious and covered in red-flesh strings. 

“N… no way…” he whispered. The shock and desperation rose in his eyes. Collin looked at her too, numb and now without words. I allowed them a moment to come around. 

“Bring the bitch out. It’s time for the _real interrogation_ ,” I’ve said, throwing the titan blood off my blades with two forceful moves. 

I shot my piston into the ground, finally leaving the titan. I fell on my knees, wiping the blood from my cheek. I wasn’t even aware I was bleeding. Maybe it’s been her blood. I didn’t know anymore. 

The giant body started evaporating, sending the thick amounts of fume highly into the sky. The welcoming breeze blew into my face (which was still warm from all the action). It felt wonderfully against my skin. My legs and my arms hurt, but it was good, and well - earned pain. It reminded me I was alive. I was smiling like an idiot, yet, all I wanted in that moment… was to cry. I needed to cry so hard. 

Someone’s shadow fell on me, as I was still looking up into the sky. I was still trembling. Someone’s hands touched both of my shoulders to calm me down. 

_“You are _the dumbest bitch_ I’ve ever met…” his voice was real this time, “… but you did well. _You did really well._ ” _


	18. Proud Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne_ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Proud-Of-You-pt-18-499177577}

LANCE CORPORAL - Proud Of You (pt. 18)  
by galateabellator, Dec 8, 2014, 7:59:57 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**_WARNING: Strong language. That's probably it ^^_ **

**PART 18 - PROUD OF YOU - Levi x OC**

While Collin and Brett were occupied with slicing Christiana out of her titan’s body, the Lance Corporal came over by my side. He praised me – well, in his own way - but any kind of compliment from him was fine, regardless of form. Members of his squad were gathering around the titan, and were assisting to my boys, who were a bit shaken by the fact that their team member turned out to be an enemy, but still tried to keep their composure. 

Levi helped me to get up, leaning his strength to me… not because of physical aspect of it as much as it was a way to offer a small comfort, actually. We took our distance from the cadets. 

“You… you are here,” I whispered, because I really didn’t have anything wittier to say. I was so desperate, so full of guilt, and pain, and disappointment. I didn’t want him, or them, to see me in this condition. But I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t withhold this anymore. 

“Don’t look so surprised,” he said, and pulled his neckerchief out of his collar. He started wiping the blood off from my face. His touch was gentle. “So filthy…” 

“Levi…” I whispered, on the verge to let tears flow. 

“If you start crying now, I will have to kill that bitch. Do you want me to kill her?” he asked, with that serious expression of his. He meant it. Every word he said… he meant it. He wasn’t one of those romantic types who make shallow threats to impress their girls. His words held meaning, they were strong… and if he says he will kill her for me, all I had to do… was to nod. 

“You’d ruin all my effort, you know,” I whispered. Our fingertips touched when I went after the incision on my face he was cleaning the blood from. “Stay like this for a moment. Please.”

We remained like that for a few short seconds, exchanging meaningful looks. I needed that after all the ruckus. He didn’t have to say anything, I just needed him to be by my side. Just like this. To know he’s here. To know that he cares. 

“I thought you had more _urgent_ things to do,” I mumbled, breaking the silence. The rest of the soldiers were about to join us… and if they see us in this state, they will start drawing certain conclusions. 

“I had to prioritize.” His answer was short, confusing, and effective. 

To pri… _wait_. That would mean that… he… right? Nah. No. It wasn’t the case, Levi wouldn’t just abandon his posture to come here to protect me. He was smarter than that, and more responsible than that. I shouldn’t be so stupid to presume he would stop the interrogation of a suspect just to help me catch the titan, _or just to help me stay alive_ , for that matter. 

Well, whatever the reason, he was the first one to arrive as a supporting soldier on this battlefield (in a lack of a better word). He showed up before Romulo’s people… before anyone else did. And it didn’t matter whether he did it because he was told, or because it was his own wish… his presence meant a world to me in that specific moment. I was more than grateful, because I was in a state where I was about to shatter… and he was there for me. Again. 

“You are saying… that Erwin didn’t send you?” I asked, still in disbelief. 

“Erwin is with Major Amsel at the moment, and with others who are severely injured. He has some serious explaining to do, especially to the Military Police and the Garrison. He didn’t have time to order anything to me. I came of my own free will as soon as I’ve heard about the shifting, Corporal Schwarz.” 

His fingertips touched my cheek. My lips. Slowly. Gently.

I wanted to hug him, to kiss him, and let everyone see. I wanted them all to know about us. I also had this… almost painful and certainly selfish urge to mark him in a way, to declare he was mine… but that would be just… insane. Not to mention inappropriate. Besides, who belongs to whom doesn’t matter in a world like ours. We are soldiers. We might live today, but tomorrow… the Hell if I know what will become of us. And because of that, I didn’t have right to be possessive, especially not when it was about the Humanity’s Strongest. 

Everybody needed him, not just me. So, I shouldn’t be so selfish. Right? 

No. Wrong. Scratch that. He’s just admitted that he came because of me. Of his own free will, mind you. I was secretly gloating. Who wouldn’t, in my stead?

“Seriously, what did I ever do… to deserve someone like you?” I asked, in all honesty, deeply moved by his words. This was one of those moments when I felt… fragile. Sensitive. Girly. And like a cry-baby, though my tears disappeared by now.

He raised an eyebrow. 

“Tch… is that from some poem or something, bitch?”

As expected from Levi, the romance-expert at his finest. Now, I was aware that he said what he said just to provoke my bitchy side. That was his way to bring me out of my misery, and I could appreciate the effort… no matter how rude. 

However, I felt like he spilled the bucket of ice-cold water over my head. So, I grimaced.

“Yeah, I write poetry in my spare time, mostly focused on praising midgets with brooms. Did you like it?” I fired back at him. 

“Did I like it? Indisputably,” he put a bloodstained neckerchief in the pocket of his jacket, and pulled out a spare, clean one out of another pocket. Always prepared, this goddamn clean freak. “Next time, add an arrogant bitch to ride that broom of his, will you?” 

“Will do. Fuck you.”

“Later.”

“Deal.” 

Hah, he didn’t expect this answer.

I took the fabrics from his fingers. He allowed me to insert his neckerchief into his collar. I reminded myself not to strangle him in the process. There, there. Perfect. 

“You know, I _told_ you I could handle this,” I reminded him, getting to the point. 

As comforting as it was, his presence on field could also be interpreted as my lack of competence. The doubt in my abilities. And regarding the size of my ego… that was a bit offensive. 

“Oh, I knew that. I just wanted to see you in action.” He simplified, but I wasn’t reassured.

“Just to see me? Come on! You know how I fight! You came to keep an eye on me and make sure that I don’t screw the things up. Is that it?” I was ready to argue until tomorrow. And the day after, and the day after. 

“No, bitch, it was merely an observation. A professional curiosity, if you will. I wanted to see what came out of that little brat I used to train, and that’s it. Years have passed, and all I heard was that you improved. I didn’t witness it personally until now. I wanted to see whether you are fit to be called the Second best soldier in the Military. Believe it, or not. I don’t really care.”

_Liar. You came to see whether I was alive, or not… and I couldn’t blame you the slightest. I would do the same for you._

“So, what’s the verdict then, Lance Corporal, sir?” I waited for him to cast his judgment upon me. 

The Second best soldier. Yeah, right. No matter how many times I hear that from the others, no matter how many times they praise me, and no matter how many times I brag with my own title… I will never truly get used to it. And I am not even lying to myself when I say so.

I know I am good. I am _very good_. I also have a good-functional team, or we could never pull some killings off. But being the second best in the whole damn world… sure, it sounds nice, but it’s far from it. It’s a burden. Everyone has expectations of you. Everyone wants you to protect them, to save them, to shield them. They became your responsibility. They look up to you. They admire you. And they envy you. 

It wasn’t something I was previously aiming to be either, not even when I threatened Levi to surpass him. I just wanted to be stronger. But, after Mike died… I was the next in ranking. Sheer numbers, and a lot of field experience and good team-coordination. Partially thanks to Levi, partially thanks to Aurora, and especially thanks to my hard work, which earned me the title. 

But every God-damn time someone brings it up… it sounds weird. Like they are talking about an imaginary Ezra Schwarz, the hero… and not me. I know, sounds like crap after everything I’ve done… but look at me. I am no hero material, I am just a broken girl who tried her best to overcome her worst fears. And that’s all. 

“What do you want to hear? Hm?” Levi asked.

“You know what. The _truth_.” No matter how painful it is. “Spill it. Let me know what the best of the best thinks of my abilities, if that’s why you are truly here.” 

Why the Hell am I so afraid? I don’t usually care what others say, I don’t give a damn, and I don’t listen. I just point to facts: the Commander named me after the Major proposed me as a squad leader, as I rivaled the previous Major, Mike Zacharius himself. That’s not something many soldiers could say for their abilities. So why am I so damn afraid of what Levi has to say, after seeing me in action? Probably because I remember… how hard it has been, over the years. How much effort I’ve put into becoming a soldier, and how much Levi struggled to make me stronger. I remembered just how much pain, and tears, and hard work had to be put into earning that position. How much rage, blood and retaliation it took. How many dead comrades fell until my heart became hard enough, strong enough, and calm enough. 

And just imagine how hard it must be… to be the Humanity’s Strongest. I don’t think I want to know. Ever. He inhaled, and crossed his arms on his chest, mimicking me. 

“You chose to fight a titan shifter in extremely dangerous conditions, under highly unfavorable environment and with a lack of military support. You must be the dumbest, and the boldest soldier who has ever walked this ground,” he said.

“…”

“However, you do estimate things well while in action. Those were… some pretty good instincts,” he stated, putting his palm on my head. I rolled my eyes. It takes more to impress this tough motherfucker, I guess. I sighted out. 

“Instincts?” God. Like I was damn recruit or something. Good instincts? Really? But then, I remembered who I was talking to. “Well, thanks. Coming from you, it must be a _high praise_.” I added a smile. At least, he didn’t have any other significant complains about my movements, and that was good enough. 

He pulled my head dangerously close to his face. 

“You are too daring. I was out of my mind when I’ve heard that you were on the moving titan, with only two cadets to support you, without horses, without the back-up. You scared the shit out of me, damn you. Aurora was worried, she told me she warned you about the danger, yet you rushed after Fitzgerald even after she shifted. You. Pissed. Me. Off. And majorly.” 

“I am sorry. I just felt it was the right decision to do,” I said, a bit embarrassed about my earlier actions, but still stubbornly standing behind them. 

“But after I saw you there… fighting someone you cared about… you were ferociously strong and admirably fast. Going for the eyes first, like I taught you to. With precision, with all that confidence and without hesitation. You were exactly what others claimed you’d became. And in that moment, I knew… there wasn’t need to worry anymore. My girl has grown up. And she does just fine on her own,” he whispered. 

He utterly left me speechless.

“Yeah, I am proud of you,” he added, “you dumb bitch.” 

It was so hard not to kiss him in that moment. So damn hard. Instead, I just remarked…

“Wow… just… wow… you can be so talented with words when you want to be.”

“You inspire me. Like I inspire you to write that lousy poetry about midgets.”

I flashed him a smile. A big, sincere one this time. “That, AND you are proud of me?! This must be my lucky day!” 

“Don’t get too high about it, though,” he warned. And while I _didn’t_ show, I did get high. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t get down from my imaginary cloud for a while after his statement. But don’t tell him that. He doesn’t have to know everything about me. 

“Just wait, shorty. I will surpass you. I am already on my way,” I grinned again. Broadly. I always threatened him like that, even when I knew I won’t be able to truly beat him. Nor did I aspire to go that high into military ranks anyway. 

“You will surpass me only when I _die_ , bitch.” 

It’s just so funny to provoke him, isn’t it?

\- - - - - - - - - - - - 

After they’ve taken out the unconscious Christiana, Levi’s squad waited for orders. Brett was holding my traitor girl, and loudly protested at Collin for having to be the one to carry the body back into HQ. 

“Just _drag_ her back or something. I am sure the others won’t complain,” Collin yawned. 

“YOU drag her, when it’s so simple.” Brett barked at his colleague. 

“Corporal ordered _you_ to do it, not to _me_. Besides, you’ve always claimed you were stronger than me, so… here’s your chance to prove it,” Collin nonchalantly fixed his straps, and stretched both of his arms. “God, I am so exhausted…”

“You are exhausted? D**khead!” Brett put Christiana over his shoulder, and they’ve started walking towards the castle. 

“There, there… let me help you,” Collin took Christiana’s palm, and lifted it up a bit. Naturally, Brett didn’t find it amusing. He kept cursing Collin all the way. 

Eren followed them. I overheard him praising me and my team’s skills to Mikasa, who kept silent, and clearly wasn’t amused. Armin thought I was just as reckless as much as I was capable… and Jean openly admired my fast moves. And deep cuts. Then, Eren brought up something about the black hair. I didn’t get it, but Connie and Sasha kept laughing. 

“What about it?” I demanded, interrupting the merry-chatting on purpose. Levi was silently walking by my side.

“Oh… Jean has a thing for the black-haired women,” Connie grinned.

“For one in particular, that is.” Sasha joined in.

“Shut up, it’s _not_ like that!” Jean’s face got all red. I found it cute. I knew another man who also loved the shiny, silky and long hair on his girl. I looked at Levi, and he just glanced back. 

“In all honesty, and with respect, Corporal… you are one crazy woman,” Connie told me, quite bluntly.

“Well… yeah. I know.” I didn’t even bother to try to defend myself anymore. 

“Those were some fast moves, back there!” Eren said. “Though I was sure you’re done in one moment. She had almost cut you in half.”

“That, she did.” And that was a close one. 

“Speaking of the shifter… how did you suspect that the traitor was your Lieutenant Colonel? How did you figure it out?” Armin wanted to know. 

“She had some… deviations comparing to her usual way of behaving. Something was off. But I was sure only after I faced her, and asked her about Hans Kaufmann, who was lying on the floor… dead. She blamed Albert Holbein, and that’s how I knew she was lying… because the timeline didn’t fit. Albert couldn’t be there in the time Hans was killed, because Eren and Mikasa had already informed us about his movements, and his position. He was with Griselda Bauer, and afterwards, met with a guy from Gustav’s squad. He didn’t go anywhere near Christiana’s room. Hans, on the other hand, shortly met with Joshua before going to Christiana. I am not sure about the rest, I will have to torture it out of Christiana, or out of Albert.” 

Which reminds me… 

“Hey, Levi… what happened with Albert?” 

“As you suggested, I roughed him up. And you were right… he was a tough guy. He handled my torture better than all Gustav’s men handled Hanji’s, so… I’ve had a lot to do. Finally, I offered him a deal, once when the torture stopped. I told him that he will be spared if he gives us names of other shifters... but he said he will do it only after we promise that we will spare cadet Bauer.” 

Griselda? 

“She can’t be…” I couldn’t believe it. What’s enough, is enough. I can’t take having _yet another shifter in the West wing of the Scouting Legion_. I can’t. 

“She’s human.” Levi reassured me. And, I was very relieved. No further embarrassments to my squad.

So… shifters can love humans, huh? I was just surprised that Albert loved Griselda, while Christiana killed Hans. How ironic. 

“I presume she knew about Albert’s abilities.” 

“Yeah. We brought her to interrogation as we’ve previously planned. First, she was calm. Didn’t react at all. She denied being with Holbein, until we’ve shown his body to her. He was unconscious, and… well… he was a mess, to keep it simple… and after seeing him, she thought that we killed him. That’s when Bauer broke down. Completely. And quite a bit after Hanji inflicted additional psychological torture on her. She was crying a lot, screaming even more, and tried to physically attack us. We subdued her. It was all very hysterical.”

I can imagine. Must have been traumatic for the rest of those soldiers. 

“What about others? Did she give up anyone else?” I wanted to know. 

“She wasn’t aware of other shifters in your unit.” Levi said. How come?

“What about Albert?”

“After we’ve promised him that we would spare Bauer, he said that the shifter we were looking for was Christiana Fitzgerald, to everyone’s surprise… and he said that he will tell the rest to you. And only to you,” Levi finished with this statement. To me? Why? 

“He never wanted to share anything with me in the first place. So, why would he…”

“The Hell if I know, bitch. He probably likes you more than me. I guess it has something to do with my boot in his mouth, and his nails scattered all over the floor.”

Yuck. Yeah, that would explain Albert’s little rebellion. Aaand, that was another ironic thing, since I was the one to suggest extreme torture upon him. Well, isn’t this just peachy.

“Come on, let’s hurry up then. Albert must be _dying_ to see me.”

And I was so tired, damn it. I’ve desperately desired to lay down and rest for a bit. For an hour, or two… and I would even sleep in a chair. However, that will have to wait, until we get some _real_ answers.

And I am so looking forward to hearing them.


	19. Commander's Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_'The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people are so full of doubts.'_ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Commander-s-Call-pt-19-511792589}

LANCE CORPORAL - Commander's Call (pt. 19)  
by galateabellator, Feb 4, 2015, 4:47:23 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

 ** _WARNING: Strong language, and implied sensitive content. Consider yourselves warned, and proceed with precaution._**

**PART 19 - COMMANDER'S CALL - Levi x OC**

Here’s what I’ve found upon entering the HQ. 

The crowd, which consisted from soldiers, was pretty upset and confused due to the latest turn of events. They were shouting and protesting to Erwin’s calm composure, and carefully chosen words. Some of the present soldiers were borderline-rebellious because they were angry with Erwin. 

The Military Police volunteers were the most upset now, and demanded a detailed explanation from our dear Commander. Erwin just told them what was necessary and that they can complain about him directly to the Military Tribunal after the whole thing was over. But, it was still far from over. 

“… so, the mission is currently aborted, or rather… _delayed_ because the titan-shifter appeared this morning and attempted to destroy the HQ. We suspect it had accomplices, so certain soldiers were brought in for the questioning. It will all be over very soon, I dare say in a few hours… so, I ask for your patience, and your understanding. This is the critical point. A crucial point. Therefore, remain here until we settle this matter, and let us finish what we have started. You shall all be informed about the development of the situation, after we acquire all the information. But, until then, please… remain calm, and wait until we figure out what exactly happened out there. That’s all I can share for the time being. Refrain yourselves from creating unnecessary commotion.” 

Erwin sounded calm, polite and refined, as usual. He hasn’t raised his voice once while he was reporting to the crowd, who grew restless and impatient. The soldiers started arguing, asking questions about titan and about mission, complaining about the way Erwin and his closest soldiers handled things, and they even dared to threaten him with the Court. They were also asking about missing comrades, and about the sudden appearance of the North Unit section (who wasn’t present at the last night’s meeting). What a mess. 

“Lance Corporal. Assistant Corporal. Join me in the office,” Commander ordered, turning his back to the rest of the soldiers and left the chamber. Needless to say, people were simply outraged by his behavior (and I am being polite when I describe it that way). Well… there was more in the store for them when Lance Corporal gave his orders. 

“Jaeger, Ackermann, Kirschtein,” Levi called, “secure the perimeter.” Eren, Mikasa and Jean blocked the entrance, forbidding others to abandon the meeting room. Armin, Sasha and Connie blocked the exit on Levi’s other order. Lance Corporal spoke again. 

“No one is to leave this building. No one, until this shit is clarified. Any objections?” 

The soldiers were now shouting, loudly and rudely, and their voices merged in my ears. It really pissed me off. I was tired and I needed sleep, not noise. 

The North Unit’s members joined Levi’s squad, silently, and obediently, adding extra force to his team, in case the situation gets really ugly. But I understood why Levi wanted to secure the room. After all that happened, we couldn’t allow to any possibly-hidden shifters to leave after Christiana got exposed. 

Everyone is a potential suspect at this point. Everyone but a few. I wonder… 

"Corporal Levi! What the Hell is going on?“ 

“Why are you doing this?” 

“How many people are accused of conspiring?!” 

“Levi! How come that titan-shifter appeared at this point? Is it someone we know?!” 

He crossed his arms on his chest, raising an eyebrow. 

“Shut the fuck up, and obey the Commander. You will hear everything in the due time.” 

“Who was the titan outside? Who is the shifter? Why are the soldiers missing?” 

“It’s rude to keep us here against our will!” 

“We _demand_ …” All the voices spoke in unison. Again. Levi gave them one intimidating look. 

“I don’t have time for this bullshit. Like I said, you will be addressed after we determine the truth, so stop whining, for the fuck’s sake.” He turned towards the exit and made a few steps, ignoring further ruckus. His soldiers stepped aside to let him through. 

“Lance Corporal, sir!" 

Wow, they were fucking _persistent bunch_ , weren’t they? I went ahead when someone called my name. 

“Corporal Schwarz! Who were you fighting outside?” _Oh, great._

“Ezra, what’s happening?!” they wanted to know. Hell, _I_ wanted to know. But how can we explain anything to others when we don’t have answers ourselves? Fuck. 

“Who was that titan?!” another question piled up on top of others and landed on my remaining nerve. That’s it, I’ve had enough. I was pissed off even before I’ve got here… now, I was majorly enraged, and felt like the bomb was ticking in my brain. Calm down, fool. Inhale. Exhale. That's it. Bravo. 

“Listen, comrades… you’ve heard what Commander said. The best option is to wait until we draw certain conclusions. You will know the details in no time,” I’ve tried to remain professional like my superiors. “So, until then, let’s just keep calm, and…” 

Calm, _my ass_. _No one paid attention_ , and I _hate_ when people don’t pay attention. I don’t like when I am ignored, and most importantly, I don’t like when I am under pressure. I get bitchy when I am moody, and I snap purely for the sake of feeling better. So… can you imagine what happened next? 

Yeah. Exactly. 

“SILENCE, YOU SHITHEADS!” I yelled from the bottom of my lungs. The crowd’s loud protest dropped significantly, reducing the noise to murmurs. My voice exponentially grew up as their own were turning down. 

“YOU DARE TO DEFY OUR COMMANDER? YOU UNGRATEFUL PESTS!” 

“Ezra…” 

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, OR I WILL SHUT IT FOR YOU! FOR ALL OF YOU! STOP YOUR BITCHING BEFORE I LOSE IT! NOW!” 

I kinda lost it along the way, but really... they just wouldn’t shut up and I couldn’t listen to them anymore. 

Remember when I said I was great at screaming? Well… there was that. Also… remember when I said they were outraged with Erwin? Forget that. _They were absolutely outraged with me_. However, they finally shut up, and the silence felt like a blessing to my ears, although it was very uncomfortable… for them anyway. I didn’t really give a damn. 

“That’s better. See? You can behave like decent, _civilized_ creatures when you want to, instead of being loud, _filthy savages_. May Walls bless the evolution.” 

I turned on my heel and went after Levi. When I kept up with him, he spoke. 

“You are fucking _loud_.” 

“Thanks.” 

“That wasn’t a compliment.” 

“I know. I am just… so fucking _angry_ , and I don’t know what to do with all of that rage. I really needed to express myself somehow,” I explained. 

Levi’s hand closed around my wrist. 

“I know a way or two to fix those anger-issues of yours.” 

Before I could fire a witty answer back at him, he grabbed the moment. (He grabbed _me_ to be precise, but that's irrelevant). 

His kiss was rushed, but deep. His hand was pressed against my back, leaning me closer towards him. What I wanted the most in that moment was to be behind closed door again, with him, ‘till this world disappears. But we couldn’t afford something like that. Not us. 

“Let’s save the rest for later,” he said, ready to enter Erwin’s office at any point now. I pulled his cloak, in a silent attempt to stop him. It worked. 

“There… won’t be _later_ for us, Levi. I will probably go back to the West Unit’s HQ if I don’t previously end up on a trial, or get fired because of my mistakes. In any case, I will go… and you are staying here,” I pointed out. 

I screwed us up. I… ruined everything, like I ruined my own squad, by not realizing that I have not one, but two traitors in my section. No matter how tough I pretend to be, or force myself to be… I have to live with what I have done. I have to live with all my choices. 

“Tch… getting pessimistic already? We’ve been through worse, so don’t make _drama_ out of this. I am sure Erwin will be able to explain to everybody that this wasn’t your mistake. You couldn’t know about your shifters. You caught that Fitzgerald bitch after you found out what she was, so no one will blame you. And regarding your return into the West Unit HQ... I hate to be the one to break it to you, but _it's not the end of the world there where you live, it's only a geographical distance which can be crossed in a few days, and via extreme horse-riding_. We will manage to see each other somehow, if we don't find another reason to argue about for the next four years.” 

I had to laugh at his sarcastic tone. His words were comforting, but I was still feeling down because I was very disappointed with myself. 

“I am a fool, Levi. I am… a failure,” I admitted, gritting my teeth. “I knew something was off, I _felt_ it. But I deceived myself into believing in my unit, into all those cadets who relied on me, on my strength. I thought they needed me, but the truth is… I needed them. I needed something to feel whole. Because, without you… I was…” 

“You were _strong_. You did all you could, and you did it in the best possible way. You couldn’t know at that time that there were shifters in the military, because nobody knew about shifters until we revealed Jaeger, Leonhardt, Hoover and Braun. _Stop blaming yourself for something you are not truly guilty of_. You always blame yourself, even when it’s not your fault. You are stupid like that.” 

I laughed again. I am stupid, and I am weak. 

“I turned the blind eye to the truth which was practically screaming into my face. Someone in my unit… was spying on all our moves. All our plans, and our missions were corrupted…” 

“Stop it, will you? You couldn’t know. And moreover… Fitzgerald hid well (though Holbain wasn't exactly wearing a titan t-shirt to make things easier for us either). Nobody suspected her, not even our best _chameleons_. You have discovered that she was one of our traitors, and you apprehended her. I doubt the military would allow a soldier who’s that capable to get fired, or punished, or whatever scenario you have in that weird head of yours." 

“Levi…” 

“You’ve been through a lot today, but Christiana’s betrayal is nothing comparing to things you’ve faced before, and survived. I know that better than anyone,” he whispered these words to me. 

My hands froze, and I felt sudden shame… he was talking about things from my past I didn’t want to remember. I wanted to bury Ezra I used to be back in the Underground City, and to focus on Ezra I became since then. I wanted to forget the blood on my hands, human lives I took in the time I wasn’t using gambling as my way to survive in the world full of criminals, human-sellers and rapists… I wanted to forget the killer Christiana woke in me tonight. I wanted to forget why I became that way, the man who was responsible for the birth of the darkness in my heart… and Christiana brought that on the surface again, and Levi saw it. 

That’s why he is talking about my past. No. Please… 

“Don’t…” 

“I know it hurts. After all these years… it must _still hurt_. But if you could survive the cruelest of things when you were so young, and heal in the process, you shouldn’t let someone as petty as that scum to break you down now. You are stronger than that. This wound will heal too.” 

“She used to be my friend,” I was choking on those words now. I used to trust her, to occasionally confide in her. I gave her all she needed to destroy us from within. To destroy _me_. 

“Yeah, and Gilford used to be your _adoptive father_ , but you put _him_ out of his misery anyway. She is _nothing_ comparing to him.” Levi reminded me by offering contra-argument, and a pretty valid one too, though I didn’t want to hear about that person ever again. That name was too painful. 

_Gilford_ was the name which belonged to the face which belonged to the man who adopted me when I was eight years old. He seemed kind, and cheerful, very polite and very noble. He was a nobleman. He was my way out of the Underground City, my ticket to citizenship in the Capital on the surface. My ticket to freedom, my escape from eternal dark, sickness and misery, from constant hunger and dehydration, and my escape from the death. How ironical. How _very_ ironical. 

In three months after he adopted me, the Death knocked on his door. 

“Well, all I want right now is to put Christiana out of her misery too. I want to break her fucking neck. I don’t even need an explanation, a reason behind her actions, I don’t need to hear her side of the story. I don’t fucking care about the information we need to obtain from that liar. I just… need… to squeeze the life out of her. To make her bleed, and to make her feel the pain I am feeling right now. Just like with Gilford.” 

“I know. But you don’t get to kill her, you know that. You get to torture her, to question her, but we need her alive, at least for the time being.” 

“Is that why you want me to see Albert before Christiana, and why Erwin wants to see us now? To warn me? To ask me to refrain from killing our suspects?” I asked, but Levi shook his head. 

“That won’t be necessary, he is aware of your self-control. But if we want to find out, I suggest we get the _fuck_ in, Corporal Schwarz.” 

With that, he opened the door for me like a real gentleman, and we both entered Erwin's office. 


	20. Commander's Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_There's a reason behind all that doubt._ **
> 
> {This chapter can also be found on my DeviantArt page. Check the link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Commander-s-Order-pt-20-513345804}

LANCE CORPORAL - Commander's Order (pt. 20)  
by galateabellator, Feb 11, 2015, 6:01:10 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**_WARNING: Strong language, in standard Ezra way._ **

**PART 20 - COMMANDER'S ORDER - LEVI X OC**

Commander was sitting in front of his desk. Major Amsel was standing next to the window, smoking her cigarette, and using her left hand since her dominant right arm was now covered in bondages. The chess table was spread on the desk, so I figured that Commander and Major spent their time in their usual way. I wondered who won, since it’s always a tough call between those two regarding intellectual games. And I mean that both literally, and metaphorically. 

Levi sat on the sofa, crossing his legs in his usual manner. I sat next to him, not too close though… and I was waiting for Erwin, or Aurora, to start talking. They didn’t, and that made me pretty nervous, so I broke the silence first. 

“Are you going to scold me for my actions, Erwin?” I asked, because I assumed that was the reason he invited me into the office before sending me into the interrogation dungeon to face Albert. I disobeyed the direct order from my Major when we were out on the field, and acted according to my own instinct – which proved accurate and the operation was fruitful, but could have been fatal instead. I haven’t only risked my own life… I exposed my two subordinates to danger as well. So… whatever Commander or Major say to me now… will be pretty valid. 

Aurora and Erwin exchanged looks. Aurora smiled softly to me and Erwin shook his head.

“I am going to congratulate you instead, Ezra. You did a great job out there.” That caught me off guard, but I almost sighted with relief. 

“You… you watched?” 

“We both did…” Erwin said, “and that was an outstanding performance, Corporal. Now, before I send you to our suspects… I need to apologize for the trouble we had to put you through. I am sure Levi has already explained to you why this operation needed to stay secret. I am also sorry because, due to the recent discoveries… I needed to put someone to monitor you too. And, if we take into consideration your history with the Lance Corporal… I believed he would be the best choice.”

Hmpf. Now, I should say something like… _Oh, don’t worry, Erwin, your reasons were legitimate and you had every right to do what you did, because you are objective, and calm as fuck_. Well, not today, smartass.

I said: “You sent Levi because I am such a _shifter-potential_ that you needed the _strongest soldier_ to observe the dangerous, cunning little me. Didn’t you?”

“Ezra…” Aurora’s voice was gentle, but her eyes weren’t. There was a clear warning in them. Erwin just continued:

“Because he was the only one with enough power to go against you, should that have been the case.” He turned at Levi, whose face was completely blank now. 

“Well, luckily for both of us, I am only human… just a very-pissed-off one as well, for more than one reason.” I hissed. 

“And sorry about that,” Aurora finished her cigarette, constricting the filter in an ashtray on desk to turn it down, “but we had to be sure.”

“Yeah, yeah, everyone’s suspicious until proven otherwise, I know the motto of the North Unit, Major… too well, since we are at it… so your doubt offends me more than you can even imagine. I have been nothing but loyal to the Scouting Legion, yet you place me in the same group with those scum…”

“Stop it.” Her eyes were sharp and dangerous now. “It wasn’t personal. It was the procedure, and our job. We couldn’t risk to rely solely on our faith in you, or on our love towards you. You know that. And although I strongly believe that you can’t be one of them, we had a very good reason to doubt you.” 

I shut my mouth, crossing my arms. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, so for a few seconds, I was just staring at Erwin, who was calm and serious… at Aurora, who lit another damn cigarette after throwing all those words at me… and finally, at Levi who was staring back at me. He was unusually calm too, and I couldn’t comprehend why. 

“You are still not sure,” I concluded. “You still…” How is this… even…

“Is this some fucking joke? Aurora? I just saved your life out there, you ungrateful bitch!” I rose from my seat, and Levi grabbed my arm, and pulled me back, roughly putting me back to my place. I pulled my arm from his grip, and wanted to smack him as much as I wanted to smack her. How come that Aurora… someone I admired and somebody I used to look up to, believes that I am an enemy? How come… that she… 

“I know, dear, and I am very grateful for your fast reflexes and your decisions on field. There’s no doubt that I owe you. But as you’ve said… everyone is a potential suspect at this point until proven otherwise. It could be me. It could be Levi. It could be Erwin. And like I said… it’s nothing personal.”

“NO? You damn…” I started losing my temper again, and her face changed. 

“Silence, Corporal!” she ordered. “Mind the language in front of your superior officers!”

“The Hell I will! When you deserve that I treat you with respect, I will… but certainly not when you are alluding that I am a traitor! I will say whatever I want, and in a manner that I see suitable, MAJOR, because I won’t take anyone’s shit, be it the God almighty himself!” I barked at her, once again.

Erwin almost rolled his eyes. “Please, Ezra, calm down. If you were truly the suspect, you wouldn’t be here, but in dungeons instead. Aurora… stop teasing her.” He sighed. She was… _what?_

Erwin waited for me to calm down, and looked in our direction again. “I invited you both here because I needed your reports from the last night. Hanji told me that Ezra got included in the mission, which means that Levi was absolutely positive that Assistant Corporal doesn’t possess the shifting ability. Am I right, Levi?” 

“Yeah. She can’t be one of them,” he stated. “I firmly stand behind that claim, and I won’t change it… so give her a fucking break.” That statement could be written in stone, as far as he was concerned. And I was glad to hear that from his mouth. For a moment, I was afraid that he’d doubt me too. 

“And how can you be so sure?” Aurora asked calmly. “Before you mention the spectacular titan-apprehension we have all witnessed this morning, remember that a possible shifter could hunt down another shifter just to hide its own secret.”

She’s got a point there. In her place, I’d probably check all the possibilities too. But why…

“Where did you get that absurd idea in the first place? Has Albert pointed out at me or something? Why do you insist on that possibility?” I asked her. Then, I faced Erwin, defying the coldness of his deep, blue eyes with my own, sharp gaze. I had nothing to hide. I was human, and if they wanted to examine me thoroughly… I will offer myself up. Just to end this nonsense. But, before I do that…

“Amsel said that you had a very good reason to doubt me. What reason?!” I wanted him to answer. It was a simple question, but Commander completely ignored it.

“Levi… how did you decide that Corporal Schwarz was worth of learning the true nature of our plan and getting involved in the process of pursuing the shifters?” he demanded an explanation, though his tone was polite. 

Levi heavily sighed, bored by routine-examination, and our eyes met once again. Oh… no… wait… I know what Aurora is doing. _What they are both doing. Fucking schemers._ I instinctively pulled Levi’s sleeve. 

“It’s all right, Lance Corporal. Let them put me in the dungeon with the rest of them, if they have such a strong urge to do so.”

Aurora kept smiling, and I just knew that I was right. “Should we do that, Erwin? Shall we put her with the rest of them?” she asked. 

“Levi?” Commander was expecting his answer. 

“Levi, shut the fuck up,” I whispered through my closed teeth. _He won’t say it, will he? Come on Levi, don’t be so…_

“Because I’ve known this brat my whole life. I’ve known her ever since she we were children, and for all that time, she hasn’t demonstrated a single shifters’ trait.” 

_…stupid, damn it._

“LEVI!” I frowned at him, completely outraged, but he could not care less.

“What? They are _dying_ to know, they have been for years,” Levi was looking at me first, then turned his bored eyes to our superiors, “so, there you have it. I know Ezra for her whole life.”

Aurora grinned widely at Erwin. “I told you so. I told you so!”

“Told him what?!” I yelled. “You accused me of being a shifter, damn it!!!” 

“I didn’t. I told you pretty clearly that I don’t doubt you,” she fucking smiled at me, like that solves everything. Fuck. Fuck… Levi realized that he was walking straight into their trap and he walked in _willingly_. Why would he do something stupid like that?

“So… she was the girl you were visiting in the Underground City during your free days,” Erwin figured. Levi didn’t confirm, but he didn’t have to either. I was surprised by how well Erwin was informed. I wasn’t aware that he knew something like that. How did he…?

“Cadet Magnolia mentioned it once to Cadet Church,” Commander explained. “She said that you were taking care of a girl, though I wasn’t sure whether she was joking or not. Of course, I couldn’t even assume it was Ezra, though it crossed my mind once that you two might have known each other before she enrolled the military.”

Levi remained silent. I really had no idea what to do. Aurora decided to tease us further.

“But that’s not all, is it, Levi? You aren’t just childhood friends. There’s too much passion and sexual tension involved.” Major grinned, and it was creepy. Erwin wasn’t able to suppress small laughter either. 

“How is this _relevant to anything?_ ” I asked, standing up pretty aggressively. I was ready to kick her ass this time. She can be my Major a million times more, I won’t allow this… harassment, and this… privacy-invading… 

“You two are a thing, aren’t you?” she insisted. Levi and I spoke in the same time. 

“We aren’t.” I was stubborn, to save what could be saved.

“We are.” He ruined it. He fucking ruined…

“Shit. Shit… SHIT, LEVI!” I yelled, unable to accept what he has just admitted to the very two people who aren’t supposed to know about us. 

They were our superior officers! Levi is nine years older than me and I used to be his fucking cadet! It was forbidden in ten different ways in friggin’ manual for military relationships - which doesn’t exist by the way, but if it did, I am sure we would be sorted under the boldest exclamation mark, and described in red-lettered paragraph as the first shameful example of “What not to do”. Or ‘who’ not to do. Damn…

My face turned red, and he just… sat there… all calm as fuck, like he said ‘good afternoon’ or something. Oh my God! All The Three Great Walls! Pastor Nick! Someone! Save me from this shame!

“I knew it! I. Knew. It!” Aurora tapped Erwin’s back twice, like she won a bet or something. 

“Yeah, you got it. Are you satisfied now, Scarface?” Levi asked rudely, but she didn’t get offended.

“Since when are you two…”

“You already know _more than you need to know_ , damn woman. Can we move onto _truly important matters_ now, after you satisfied your primitive curiosity?” Levi interrupted, and turned his head towards Erwin after he offended her once more. 

The shade of smile was still curved on Commander’s lips. 

“Sure. First of all… it seems that shifters from Gustav’s squad don’t know who the Ape Titan is. They aren’t from any faction in particular, they were mindless titans who have turned back into humans after they ate shifters, and that’s it. They don’t know about theory that Ape is human scientist who is able to turn other humans into titans, and aren’t aware about the serum. The same goes for Cadet Holbain, unless he confesses differently to Ezra. In Romulo’s squad, there’s one who confessed that he was sent by the same faction who sent Hoover, Braun and Leonhard on us to break our Walls… but that’s all he has admitted to. Hanji is still interrogating him.”

Erwin looked at me, suddenly very serious. “Holbein and Fitzgerald will be your responsibility since they are both from your squad. You are free to use any level of violence that you see fit, Corporal Schwarz. I give you the permission to do so… but please… refrain yourself from killing them. Lance Corporal will assist you with the interrogations. After you two make sure that you did all you could, and that you’ve obtained all the information we could find useful, you may return to report to me, or to Major Amsel. Either will do.” Is that so?

“Fine. I will obey, Blondie, you don’t have to worry, the temperament - control is in check. I mean, it’s not like you deserved it or anything with all that scheming and testing, but I still know who my friends are, even if _you_ have forgotten.”

“I haven’t, Ezra. It was…” Damn his calm tone!!

“I am talking now, so don’t interrupt me, sir. Although I was majorly pissed off with you, I defended you out there in front of all those extremely annoyed soldiers whose reactions I understood all too well. I defended you, and yet you still dared to question my loyalty. I am upset with that, and I won’t let it slide. Not even when you pretend it was all just to find out about me and Lance Corporal here - come on, you aren’t that superfluous.” 

Aurora’s new smile felt like a riddle. I continued:

“I won’t buy something as lame as that. You knew that something was going on between me and Levi, just as I knew that you and Aurora harbor feelings for each other, but I never brought that up out of decency. But it doesn’t matter, really. You don’t care about romantic stuff within military ranks, you are looking for a bigger picture, as you always do. You know more than you are sharing with me, and after I finish the examination, I want to hear some answers. I want to know why you were targeting one of the most loyal people in your affiliation, and yes, by that, **_I mean me_**.”

Erwin lips curved once more, against his will. “Your loyalty was never in question. Your _biology_ was, like it was questioned with other soldiers… but your loyalty... never.”

“That doesn’t comfort me, because I know better.”

I turned my face to Levi. “I know you better than you think too.” 

I wasn’t really blaming him. He was doing his job. Those were Erwin’s orders. That’s it. 

“Levi’s words, Levi’s estimations… Levi’s feelings about me, no matter how strong or decisive… wouldn’t be enough as arguments to convince you that I am not a shifter, if you had a reason to believe I was one. I know that him admitting to knowing me for so long wouldn’t reassure either one of you. His words are just that. Words. How could you know for sure whether he made the right choice? No, wait. The real question is… do you still believe that I am a shifter? I want to know. Right here. Right now.” 

“Tch… you know my answer to that. I won’t repeat myself.”

“You are human, but every shifter is human too,” Erwin responded. “Better question is… if you were able to shift, whose side would you take? I will answer that for you, Ezra. I am pretty sure it would be ours. Not because you are involved with Levi, but because of your principles.”

Well thank you, Commander. And fuck you. 

“Levi had tested you in another way, but I assume you already know that,” Aurora pointed out.

“Yes, and I know _how_. He shared a theory with me tonight, while we were playing cards and totally minding our own business _\- stop laughing, Aurora, or I swear I will make you stop –_ and while we were in the middle of the game, Levi told me something I bought instantly - because it was him who was telling me, and for a few hours, I even believed it. I know now that he was testing me when he was telling me parts of your real plan, Erwin - and he lied straight to my face about certain pieces of that plan as well. His words pointed me in altered directions so I had drawn my own conclusions from what he was saying at that time, and I was wrong. He was lying to me on your behalf, but I can’t blame him. He had to be sure.”

“ _Damn_ , girl, I want you back in the North Unit. You have a perception worth of gold,” Aurora stated, finishing her second cigarette while casually sitting on Erwin’s desk. “I miss you being my spy.”

“Thank you, Major, I miss sniffling around for you too. Now, Commander, I want to hear it from you. The reason you believed Levi. I need to hear it.”

Erwin placed his hands (his real and his prosthetic one), on the surfice next to Aurora. 

“He told you that we have a way of testing shifters through blood samples. That wasn’t true. We can’t determine who is shifter only by examining blood, though Hanji works on detecting titan cells in human system so we might be able to do so in the near future. Levi also told you that Eren Jaeger has the power to control shifting ability in other shifters, and to make them forcefully shift at his will, but that was also a lie, though we believe that, with power he has, he can really control shifters equally well as he can control other unconscious titans. But he hasn’t mastered it. Not remotely close, and not yet.”

“And there I was, thinking that he could. But what if I didn’t believe in all that stuff?”

My Corporal/man-toy responded that question. “What mattered wasn’t what you said in the moment you’ve heard about it, it was the way you were acting during the time I told you about that possibility. Body language. Micro expressions. Pupil dilatations. You were curious about those ideas, but you didn’t show discomfort. You were excited about the plan, about finding out who the shifters were, you were amazed, confused, intrigued, but you weren’t scared. You didn’t show any sign that you might be worried about yourself. That ruled out the possibility for me. Your breathing remained the same. Your heartbeat…”

“Shut...” _How would you know about my heartbeat if we were playing cards, moron?_

“Your heartbeat was steady. And although you were a trained spy, you lowered your guard because you were with me. You didn’t figure I was spying on you until I brought up the subject of monitoring in Erwin’s plan. That’s what upset you, but only after you realized that you were monitored too. Not because others were monitored as well. You’d be scared senseless if you were a shifter, you’d panic, you’d try to fight or escape or whatever the Hell they start doing after they feel they are endangered. However, the very idea of you being considered a shifter… it upset you more than anything I’ve said last night. It still upsets you, but not because you are one of them, but because you can’t stand the idea… and that’s the difference. That was all I needed.”

I could clap to his little monologue. To Erwin’s brilliance. To Aurora’s ability to lead an undercover operation right under everyone’s nose. But not today.

“Since we ruled out that I could be a shifter… I want you to tell me what you know, because you are hiding something from me, Erwin. I am convinced now, more than ever, that you are. I want the truth. You owe me that much.”

Everyone went silent after that. Anticipating. 

“I will tell you everything, but only after you finish the interrogations and after you return. We should be able to talk freely, and without prying ears. I plan to dismiss soldiers, to clear up the base, so… we will be able to talk freely and honestly.”

“That could take days.”

“True. But you will be patient, soldier, and you will do as you are told. Follow your orders,” Erwin said, and there was no way I could say anything to make him change his mind. All I could do… was to obey.

“Is that all, sir?” I asked. Erwin nodded. 

“That’s all, Corporals. You are dismissed.” 

I saluted him with our standard greeting, out of courtesy. Levi didn’t bother. He followed me and I was heading to the exit. 

Aurora Amsel spoke my name before I left. 

“No hard feelings, dear. I was simply curious.” Oh, my dear Major, how I missed you too.

“Curiosity killed the cat, Major,” I warned, “I will get back to you.” 

“I know you will, Ezra Schwarz. That’s what I like about you.” 

I smiled at both of my superiors for a first time since I entered Erwin’s office. I will think of something better than just mention that she has feelings for Erwin. Surely, I have other things to do now, so that will have to wait, but I will get back to her for what she did.

Levi was silent as we were leaving. For whole two minutes, to be exact. 

“Ezra…”

“I know. You don’t have to explain.”

“I didn’t buy that crap for a second. I just did what I was told to do.”

“I know. Let it go, I am not even angry with you.” 

“…”

“…”

“…good.” He seemed a bit relieved this didn’t turn into another fight. And honestly, I was relieved too.

We headed to the dungeons, to finally visit my former colleague. Albert wanted to talk, so we will talk, but I was planning to put a blade or two in his knees and other sensitive places because I needed some decent answers, and mostly because I wanted to express my discontent with his behavior. 

Things were about to get violent. _Very_ violent.


	21. Grand Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**The beginning of the end.** _
> 
> {This chapter is also posted on my DeviantArt account. Check it out here: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Grand-Revelations-pt-21-523869226}

LANCE CORPORAL - Grand Revelations (pt. 21)  
by galateabellator, 1 week, 22 hours ago  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

**_WARNING: If you haven't read the manga, this chapter contains some spoilers for you, so don't read! It also contains some elements of the gore and strong language (in standard Ezra way. Again). Consider yourselves warned!_ **

**PART 21 - GRAND REVELATIONS - Levi x OC**

We were getting down the stairs that lead to the basement. Levi was mostly silent, and seemed somewhat distant. I guess there were too many questions in his mind, just like there were in mine. But finally… finally, we are going to get some answers, since Albert decided to speak up. I was just… wondering why he would choose to share that information with me.

I mean… we were never quite close, Albert and I. Being the members of the same unit, and me being the leader of the West section, didn’t mean that he had to bond with me in any other way. We weren’t friends, we were colleagues, and that’s about it. We talked, we praised each other’s strengths, and battle-abilities, we played cards and drunk liquor with the rest of the unit, but… Albert Holbein was never a person I could trust. He was a soldier I could rely on, but not someone I could share my secrets with. And I am thankful to him for that, actually. It would only make things worse at this point for me, so Albert spared me in a way. In some twisted way, he was even honest about who he was. Damn. 

Levi suddenly stopped walking, and turned to face me. 

“You have to know two things before we enter Holbein’s cell,” he declared, crossing his arms on his chest. He wasn’t looking me in the eyes, he was staring at the iron door instead.

“Let me guess… I have to wear an apron, and I have to keep my temper in check,” I mocked, raising forefinger and middle finger while I spoke about those two possibilities. It wasn’t the proper time for jokes, though. 

“I am not talking about those things,” his eyebrow twitched, and I smiled warmly. 

There was this bag that stood next to the door, and he bowed down to reach it.

“Before it comes as a surprise…” Levi pulled out a long apron and leather-gloves, and handed them to me, “… he is here.” 

I took off my military jacket and started equipping myself for interrogations. It took me a few seconds to realize what… or rather who he was talking about. It obviously wasn’t Albert. The only person Levi would mention in this tone, with this voice… was…

I caught myself caressing the hilt of my old knife, placed on my right hip (the right hand was my dominant one). It was an old habit of mine, to caress this specific weapon even if I had a left knife in my other holster, placed on my belt, and two knives in both boots, and small blades in the sleeves of my shirt, now placed under my gloves. I was staring at the door too now.

“You can’t possibly mean…” I looked at Levi, and he looked at me, like he was trying to figure what to say next. He didn’t say anything, but he came closer to me and tied the apron behind my back for me. His hands slid down my waist after he finished.

“He arrived with the North Unit,” Levi closed his arms around me. He held me like that for a minute or two. I touched his arms with my own, leaning against him in the process. He buried his face in my shoulder.

“I really didn’t expect that he’d come here,” I told him, in all honesty. “He isn’t a soldier.”

“If you need a moment…” Lance Corporal offered, “… we can delay the interrogation.” 

A moment to process the news? Sure. I definitely need one, but it just… won’t be this particular moment. Not while I have a job to do. 

“I am fine,” I answered quicker than I was supposed to, convincing myself more than trying to convince Levi of it. “Is he… inside, with Albert?” I felt a bit nervous when I asked that question. Facing the man who was known as the Shadow Killer in the Underground City at this point would be… strange. Not to mention awkward. I turned to face Levi. 

“No. He is currently with Hanji, torturing answers out of Romulo’s guy.”

“Oh, so that’s why the shifter confessed that easily! Why am I not surprised to hear that?”

“Probably because the damn geezer is the best at doing three things: keeping secrets, inflicting all kinds of torture, and ultimately, killings,” Levi simply replied. “Now… the other thing…”

The distance between us in that moment, although small… seemed significant. Something felt… strange. Wrong. At first, Levi just stood there, but then, he grabbed my arm. It was a bit unexpected, and out of some reason… I sensed that he was disturbed. 

And if Levi, who isn’t easily disturbed and who remains calm ninety-nine percent of the time, is now bothered by something, it must be grave. I waited for him to start talking. It took some time before he found the words. 

“Before traitors say anything, confess anything… keep in mind that all I ever did… all my choices, were in order to protect you. This mission included.” His sharp eyes were focused on me, and this time… I saw a hint of something that shouldn’t have been there. A mixture of… pain… and… was it regret? That left me utterly confused. 

“What’s gotten into you?” 

“Things are about to change,” he said, pressing his fingers deeper into my arm. “Aurora has some information that might… re-shape us both. And before you ask, I am not sure what the big revelation she has is. Commander and Major didn’t share it with me… but the indications were all there. You’ve noticed it too. She has discovered something big. Erwin didn’t call her just as a back-up, Aurora’s arrival in the Central HQ, aside bringing the potential shifters down, has another purpose. She’s learned something about the Walls, the Monarchy, or even the line of succession and Reiss dynasty. She has also learned something about shifters, since she and Erwin planned the whole mission together… and since they told me to supervise your behavior, I assume it also has something to do with you. And whatever it is, whatever we find out… you must know… Ezra, you must know…” 

“Really, Levi,” I sighed, “of all people, I know. Whatever happens, I know that you only wanted to do the best thing, and bring the best possible choices, for humanity and for me. Also, I am still me in the end of the day, no matter what I find out or discover. So… trust me when I say that this bitch loves you and that it would have to take a lot to change her mind in that regard.”

“Well, that’s exactly my point… everything might change for you and me. You may see me in a different light. But all I ever wanted for you… was to live a peaceful life. For you to be safe. I wanted to protect you. So now… I am afraid…” 

“Shhhh. Don’t say that you are afraid. You don’t have that luxury,” I pressed my finger against his lips, looking into those beautiful, grey eyes. “If you are afraid, I would have to be petrified, and I don’t want to feel that way.”

“You might have to,” he whispered, “not of my own volition, but you might have to. I might lose you today, not to titans, but to the conspiracies and humans. And the very thought scares the shit out of me, Ezra.” 

I think I knew just how much… strength it took for him to admit something like this, especially to me. But regarding how our past misunderstandings brought much pain in our lives, I guess that he wanted to come clean about this… before it turns into another mess, and another problem for us.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly. “I can promise you one thing. You don’t have to be afraid of losing me, for you never will. Not even when I desperately want to get away from you,” I tried to make another joke, but it was lame. His fingers traced the nape of my neck. Sensually. Gently.

“Careful with promises, Schwarz. The trick with them is that you might not be able to keep them,” he reminded me. 

“Well, I want to keep that one,” I whispered, and leaned towards him. “I don’t know what this is all about… but I know that you won’t lose me. You will never lose me, Levi.” 

I knew exactly what he’d say next, we were too much alike sometimes. Never say never. And to prevent him to speak those words, I initiated the kiss. His lips were soft, and his response was gentle. Welcoming. But as the need in me grew, it became deeper, and more passionate. He became slightly rougher, his kiss was powerful, and hungry. Whatever I gave, he returned double. He pushed me against the wall, and pressed his body against mine. Our kisses were raw now, wild, and full of lust. His arms felt so good around me, I wanted him to keep touching me, but it wasn’t the time, or place for doing these things. 

It really took me a lot of will to break what was happening there, but we had to remember where we were, and that any military member could easily walk on us. I pressed my palms against his chest, wanting to separate him from me, but I failed. We had a job to do. 

“Fuck…” he muttered while intensively staring at me. 

“Yeah…” I whispered, and his lips slammed against mine, again. I gave in, again. Who wouldn’t, in my place? I had to mentally slap myself, and to scold myself for being such a horny idiot. I stopped, and so did he. Why, oh why?

“You are extremely hard to resist, bitch.” 

“You were certainly doing your best, midget.” 

Levi stepped back, checking whether we’ve been seen, or heard. It appeared that we were lucky again.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I’ve re-made my pony-tail, by placing it higher on the top of my head, and made a little bun by wrapping the layers of hair around the center. One always needs to be properly prepared for torture, if it’s required. (I really hate when the blood gets into my hair). So, I was practically done. 

Lance Corporal opened the cell, and we walked in. The stench in that place was awful. It mostly consisted of that sickly, familiar and heavy smell of blood, mixed with sweat, heath and probably even some puke. It was filling the whole room… and reminded me of a place I once called home. Shit. I could escape the Underground, but the Underground wouldn’t leave me wherever I go. It is buried deep inside of me and I can not escape it as long as I live.

To describe my shifter in the shortest possible way… well, Albert looked like shit. 

He was tied to a chair, and tied that way so all the ropes left deep incisions in his wrists, muscles and ankles. He was trying to get free, so he tore his own skin, and the blood soaked the ropes, leaving smeared marks wherever he was tied. Parts of his light-brown hair were colored with red, bloody strands, from the wounds inflicted on his head. Levi’s gifts, I assume. 

His titan regeneration didn’t heal him, not yet. His breathing was heavy, he was gasping a lot. His face was covered in bruises, his cheeks and his left eye were swollen. His lips had small cuts, and were bleeding. It will be painful for him to talk like this. Well, do I even care? 

That’s what happens when you fuck with our affiliation, and expect we will play all nice and sweet just because we have to obey the law. The truth is… when necessary, the officers will go that far to use force and violence and twist that law to our volition. Mostly like we did with Sannes, or like we did with Military Police’s corrupted members. And Albert knew that. He knew what kind of risk he was taking when going against us. 

I sat in the chair which stood opposed to his own, and crossed my legs. 

“You wanted to talk to me, Holbein,” I stated. “So, start talking. I really want to hear all the reasons and excuses you believe can redeem you in the eyes of the Recon Corps and the Walled World. Let me hear why you think we should keep you alive, instead of killing you in this very cell, in that very spot, right now.”

Albert gulped. His dark brown eyes turned at Levi, who was leaned against the wall, with crossed arms. The pliers were placed next to him, long, and terrifyingly sharp. 

“Only… to you,” Albert repeated his previous request. I raised an eyebrow. 

“Corporal Levi will be present during this interrogation, whether you like it or not. You wanted to privately speak to me, but this is as private as you get. You’ve lost the right to ask for benefits the moment you were captured, and confessed that you were a shifter. So, you will talk, and you will answer everything I ask. You will tell me everything you know, Albert, or I will torture it out of you. I might have taught you how to endure these kinds of things, but trust me, you’re going to get worse if you keep silent. Just to be clear, if you think that I will have a hard time inflicting pain and new injuries on you just because you are on the verge of breaking and you were my squad mate once… you are dead-wrong, Albert. I have a soft spot for certain people, but not for you or Christiana. I will make you wish you’ve never been born, and that isn’t even gonna be the worst you’ll get. You will beg for death.” 

“Ezra…” he whispered. “I will talk only to you. They can't be trusted…” 

“Levi isn’t leaving the cell. You are either talking to the both of us, or you get tortured again, and ultimately killed. Those are your options.” I leaned into my chair, taking the most comfortable pose I could. “If you naively think I am bluffing, trust me, I am not. If you don’t provide some good and useful information, you will be executed. I will slit your throat without any hesitation.”

He tried to contemplate. “You won’t kill me… you have to keep me alive… we had a deal…” 

“The deal?” I chuckled, it was stronger than me. “With who? Hanji? Moblit? Erwin, maybe? Forget about them, I am the one you have to deal with right now.” I leaned closer to him. Our faces were on the same level. “Deals can be broken. Lives can be taken. And I am exceptionally good at taking lives.” 

Albert dared to face me. He smiled this time, the best he could with his injuries, which was damn awful, but he smiled. 

“Corporal… you are capable of many things… but you won’t take a human life.” 

_Aww. Isn’t he just adorable?_

**“Wanna bet?”** I pulled out the knife from my left sleeve, and before he could even see it, I pierced the blade deep into his leg. He was screaming in agony, and my ears hurt from how loud he’s been… but I was staring in his face, without blinking, just twisting the blade, again, and again. I was leaning towards him, more. 

“You aren’t even human,” I dug the blade again, this time even deeper, tearing the flesh away. A piece of his trousers tore too, and fell on the floor with a piece of his muscle. His screams were almost unbearable now, but I remained there, taking all of it. The crimson liquid blossomed around my hilt and soaked my hand. It was wet, warm, and sticky. And metallic. There was definitely something metallic in the air…

“I AM HUMAN! OF COURSE I AM HUMAN, YOU CRAZY BITCH! WE ALL ARE! ALL SHIFTERS ARE! MORE THAN ANYONE IN THIS DAMN PLACE!” 

“A lot of you shifters use that word lightly. Human, you say?” I pulled the blade out, and wiped the blood away against his other leg. 

“HUMAN! I WAS PRIMARILY HUMAN, LIKE YOU ARE! ALL OF YOU CAN EASILY TURN INTO TITANS, DAMN IT! ALL THOSE CIVILIANS CAN!” 

“Finally… we are getting somewhere.” I mocked, and pressed the blade against his cheek.

“Fuck you,” he muttered, gasping, and trying to breathe. “Fuck you, Schwarz.” 

“I get a lot of that recently,” I scratched the surface of his face, not letting the blood just yet. “This is just the beginning, Albert. I can do a lot worse, don’t make me. You’ve already been through a lot with Levi, you don’t have to suffer like that any longer.” I removed the steel from his skin, and he was very relieved I did. 

However, he stubbornly shook his head. “You… you wouldn’t understand, bitch… someone like you would never understand…”

“Oh, come on. I am not that retarded. If you use simple words, I might even get it. Try me.”

I crossed my legs again, playing with the blade. 

“You can’t…” Albert gasped. When he looked at me, his eyes were filled with tears. Tears of rage, and humiliation. “You don’t know… how it is… to be a child, and to… be… scared… and to do things… you don’t… want to do… you always had it… easy… you bitch…” 

That got my intention. That certainly got my attention. Levi hadn’t moved, but… I felt his stare on the back of my neck. 

“You would be surprised,” I said. 

“Just… because you were an orphan of the Underground? That’s not… even close, Schwarz.”

Close to what, to his own tragedy? I wasn't aware this was a competition. And, just an orphan? He really didn’t know shit about me. None of them did, in the end. I laughed maliciously again.

“Well, enlighten me then. Tell me your sad story,” I requested.

“Or you will torture me,” he said. “Big deal.”

“Oh, aren't you all tough. Here’s the really terrifying part. I might feel sympathy for you. There’s someone in the base who won’t, at all. Don’t look at Corporal Levi, I am not talking about him though he is a pretty close. This certain persona is someone who’s even more sadistic than him, or me. Who isn’t obliged to follow any rules, or any laws. He isn’t bound to protect humanity like the military is, he doesn’t give a damn about humans. He has no principles, he doesn’t have a solid moral codex. He is a walking, human-killing tool, and he feels no remorse. He’s been known as Shadow Killer back in the Underground. A dumb nickname, I know, but very accurate in his case. And he is coming to assist us. So… you better talk before he appears. You want to talk to me, your dear, beloved Corporal, not the killing machine which was spat from Hell itself because he wasn’t wanted there.”

“Sounds pretty much like you to me, bitch.”

“Ah, you flatter me. I am only half that bad.”

“If you think that… child-tales like that… will scare me…” 

“They should,” I said. “He is a real motherfucker.” I returned the blade back into my glove. “He will find your breaking point, even if I don’t tell him, and he will use it against you.”

“And what makes you think that you know my breaking…”

“Griselda,” I was clear, I believe. “What I’ve seen so far… you do care a great deal about Griselda.”

He gritted his teeth. “I do not.” 

I politely smiled this time. “Liar.”

“You… you… won’t…” 

“I will.” 

“No. Ezra… don’t you dare…” 

“You are in no position to threaten me. It’s vice-versa. And it’s Corporal Schwarz, I am not Ezra to you anymore.” I gave him my best threatening look. 

“There won’t be… need for the further torture,” Albert finally stopped resisting. “I just wanted… to make sure… that Griselda… she… just promise me that you won’t harm her, and I will speak…”

“I am yet to decide what I will do with Cadet Bauer.” I didn’t want to allow him to blackmail me.

He was actually breaking now. I watched him struggle before me, seeking words. He wanted to hit me, slap me, to tear my limbs, and what not. But he said…

“You want me to beg, Corporal? To apologize for being who I am? To… say that I am sorry?”

“I am not interested in apologizes, I gain nothing from them. They don’t please me or bring me any satisfaction. Once someone makes a mistake, a simple apology won't do, not for me. What I want to know, is what kind of titan you are. Your class, your faction or village, your associates, and wherever the Hell you are from, I want you to show it on a fucking map. I want to know how you entered the Walled World without breaking Walls, and how you managed to fool everyone around you. I want to know how Christiana fits into the whole thing. I wanna know why you did all that stuff, and if you say it’s because of Eren Jaeger, I am going to personally summon the boy to split your skull in two, before I do it myself. I’ve heard enough of that Jaeger-kidnapping shit, it's overrated.”

“You haven’t heard enough. Not remotely. You think you know something, but it’s all wrong, Corporal Schwarz. You. Civilians. Legion. You are all… blind fools who hide behind Walls and keep getting brainwashed.” 

“By the Reiss family, and the Government. Yeah. But why are you among the Walls?” 

“For my family, you damn bitch. But you wouldn’t know what that is, would you, now?”

I didn’t even get offended, because that’s exactly what he wanted. To provoke me. 

“Not really, no. My… so-called-family is as twisted as they get. Spill the beans.” 

His eyes were filled with pure hatred now. “You want to know who I am? I am fifty-meters class type. I am both the Colossal, and the Wall type of titan, Corporal Schwarz. I have a hardening ability. I could have destroyed your petty world anytime I saw fit, and trust me, I had a strong urge to do so, many times. However, I didn’t.” 

A Colossal type? Could he… be bluffing? No. It didn’t seem that way. 

“Why haven’t you, then? And don’t say it’s because of Griselda, or the goodness of your heart, because I won’t buy that crap,” I added. 

“No. I am from a certain village… we were a small community, hidden deep in the mountains. We were constantly on the move because of titans, who were advancing and eating everyone they laid eyes upon. My father learned about this world, and wanted to ask your king to let us in for the protection, all the fifty people that survived the last attack of titans. He, and my older brother went to askfor help from your dear king, that impostor, Fritz. We wanted to be protected. To be saved. But little did we know… that your very, precious Walls were made of Titans, and not just titans, but shifters! Instead of helping my village, your king, or whoever was in charge… imprisoned my relatives. They disappeared. The village, along with my people… had been exterminated by the titans soon after. I survived solely because I was a shifter, and they couldn’t devour me in my form.”

I was listening carefully. “Your father, and brother… were they like you? When did you find out about that ability?” 

“They were shiftes too, yes. I was… nine years old when I first transformed, back in the woods. I don’t know whether I ate someone, I must have, but I don’t recall it. In my whole life… I shifted about ten times, and every time, it was outside these Walls. And every time, it gets worse. You lose parts of yourself.” 

His hands started trembling. He held his head low.

“How did you get into Walls without breaking through?” Levi asked. 

“There were… underground passages. A network of them, going under the Walls’ foundations. Christiana used one of those tunnels and ended up in Sina, I ended up in Rose. The tunnels were shut not long after that. Earthquakes, or… escarpment. I am not sure. What I know about Christiana… is that she is a shifter too, smaller class, and that’s it. We made a deal. She wouldn’t tell about me if I don’t tell about her, we didn’t ask questions, and didn’t get into each other’s way. We never worked together, and… her agenda isn’t mine.” 

“And we should believe that?” Levi raised an eyebrow. 

“Believe whatever you want to believe, Corporal. I am here… because I wanted to find my family.” 

And then… I figured why he hasn’t destroyed our world.

“You still believe they are among our population, among Walls?” Levi asked skeptically. “Sorry to break it to you, but they are probably dead.”

“No. They are walled,” I whispered. 

“What?” 

“They were walled in. Built in. Buried alive. They serve as a Wall-support. That’s what stopped you from destroying us all. You were searching for their locations, but… you don’t even know… which wall they are in, or which titans they are.”

The shifter just nodded. 

“But… the Walls were made a hundred years ago. You came here… about twenty years ago, haven’t you? The Walls were intact in that time,” I said.

“How would you know that? The Walls were modified a few times, as far as I am concerned. For example… in the time of large disease outbreaks, or… during the Grand Rebellion. My family was walled during that time. They must have been, because it happened twenty years ago or so. Though you probably wouldn’t know that, Schwarz, you were in the Underground and probably too young to realize what was going on.” 

Albert looked at Levi, who walked to stand by my side. “The Grand Rebellion. I haven’t heard that in a while,” he said. “And I thought I never will, actually. Never agian.”

“Is that… the event which the Government erased from our history?” I asked. “Wasn’t it… about the families… the three families who were conspiring to take over the throne and change the system?”

“So… you know about it, then?” Levi asked. He was a bit… surprised.

“Sure. They wanted to overthrow the Monarchy and establish the democracy, the rule of majority. They were deemed traitors, then executed, and anyone who spoke about the incident… was either arrested, or killed. That’s why I kept and still keep my mouth shut,” I responded. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate to have my head on my shoulders.”

“Still… I wasn’t aware you knew about that,” he seemed intrigued. I found about these events nearly five years ago, when I was in Aurora’s squad. All the conspiracy theories, irregular history gaps and events, the perpetuation, the deviations… were hers to investigate. And she loved doing that, and also loved sharing the knowledge with a few she trusted. I was among them at that time. 

“Well, if you take into account the last five years… I did.” I shrugged my shoulders. 

“Major Amsel told her,” someone joined our merry conversation, and I turned to face the tall, dark figure. The Shadow Killer himself. He wasn’t wearing his standard, long, black-leather cloak, or his shiny, top-hat. He was in military uniform instead, with the Military Police insignia. He kept his grey shirt… and double, hand-made knives were visible on his hips. His icy-grey eyes were fixed on the three of us. He had a two-days beard, and didn’t bother to shave. His hair was smoothed down, though, white strands ruining once perfectly-dark hair. He was carrying the whip, an additional tool of his as well as one of his signature marks, since he currently works as Aurora’s coachman… among other things. He loved that whip. 

“The brat was fucking four when the Grand Rebellion happened. Do you think that she gave a damn about anything other than food, water, and surviving… eventually about some lousy sweets and half-broken toys?” 

Levi gave him a sharp gaze. “She did, actually. Her damn cards.”

Geezer just stroked his beard. “Oh. Right. There was that too.” 

“I am right here, boys,” I pointed out, rolling my eyes. I looked at Albert. 

“Albert… meet one of the most vicious motherfuckers of the Underground district, the one with the dumbest nick-name, but with the greatest criminal reputation. These days, he goes by Regulus. Not much better, but I don’t question his naming choices anymore. Regulus… meet the pacifist-shifter, who didn’t blow the Walls down, even if he could. Albert is a Colossal type and we have his family.”

There. I think that summed it up pretty well.


	22. Prone To Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are three types of sadists in that room.
> 
> http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Prone-To-Violence-pt-22-534351732?q=gallery%3Agalateabellator%2F46150061&qo=2

**PART 22 - PRONE TO VIOLENCE - Levi x OC**

Albert wasn’t impressed with Regulus. In his position, I doubt I would be too. He was staring at the older man with spiteful eyes. Regulus returned the favor, though his own glare was cold and quite predatory. He glanced at Albert’s wounds, saw that he still wasn’t healing, and he raised his eyebrows. He almost seemed disappointed when his eyes turned towards Levi and me.

“Next time, _leave me something to work with_ , you two. This one looks like he will faint.”

“He already did. _Twice_ ,” Levi’s tone was dead-calm, and quite neutral. Regulus frowned. 

“Did he, now.” That wasn’t a question actually… it was more of an info to take in. I sighed, looking at everyone in that cell. “Honestly. Aurora should already know that putting the three of us in the same room for interrogations is _a very bad idea_.”

“Oh, m’lady is well-aware. She is just curious how we will act when put together.”

“I am tired of her stupid, twisted games. I mean, really? She puts _three Underground hounds_ – no offense - in the cell, and expects the tortured subject to walk away _alive_?”

“Who says that he will walk away alive?” Regulus pointed out softly, and almost politely. Levi remained silent. I reflected about this a bit, and came to a simple conclusion.

“Indeed.” 

Regulus forcefully grabbed a handful of Albert’s hair to lift his head up, and make him face him. 

“You must be a tough boy, if you endured their torment that well. But let me see what I can do to make things more… _interesting_.”

“I am not afraid of you. You are just… an old man who’s acting tough.” To be fair, Albert was the one who was acting tough… but his voice was thin.

“Oh, Holbain,” I sighed. He shouldn’t have said that. He basically asked for a demonstration of older man’s abilities… and Regulus was never a shy one when it came down to that. 

Albert’s sudden scream almost tore my earlobes when a sharp blade ended buried in cadet’s right shoulder. Regulus was always a fast one to pull his knives out, and always the fast one to slice things off. He dragged the blade under Albert’s ear. 

“I might be a bit rusty, it’s true… but I still aim pretty well, and I am still pretty fast, lad. So, you better be very cooperative if you don’t want to get on the bad side of me. Captain Brass’s traitor made that mistake, acted all though and shit… but soon learned it was a very, _very wrong thing to do_. After I removed his fingers for him, he sang like a bird. What will it take… to make you keep singing?” the old sadist now wondered out loud, stroking his beard.

“Regulus,” I called, and the old man stopped for a second. His eyes seemed vicious, and had that frightening, almost evil glow that used to scare the shit out of me when I was younger. But not anymore - and that was probably one of the boldest things about me. Only a fool wouldn’t be afraid of a man as dangerous as this old assassin. 

“You wanted to say somethin’ darlin’?” he asked. 

“Yeah, but not to you, Regulus.” I faced my former squad mate. 

“Holbain, if that’s even your real last name… this is the last chance to tell whatever the Hell we need to hear now. Whatever you need to say about the Grand Rebellion, Christiana, Hans, their accomplices, the Ape… anything… now would be the best time.”

“Listen, Corporal… Ezra… I’ve told you…” 

“No, Albert,” I felt obliged to remind him, “you _think_ that you gave us everything you had, but there’s always more. _You know more_ ,” I insisted, and he bit his lip.  

Regulus grinned widely this time. “And there I was, thinking that my dearest, black rose got _lazy_ , and that she became _soft_. Oh Ezra… for a moment there, I thought that you’ve forgotten some basic lessons and that you would try to stop me from harming your dear cadet.” 

“He isn’t my dear cadet, and I know better than getting on your way or trying to stop you.” I leaned towards Albert and look straight into his eyes. 

“How come that we, _humans_ , look bad even when you are the traitor, Holbain? How come that, no matter which side I stand on, I always end up being the bad girl?” I asked, almost annoyed by this turn of events. I slammed my hands onto the arm-handles of his chair.

“I was a bad girl in the Underground. I am the bad girl in the military, a so called “slave driver” and a “bitchy Corporal”. I am a harsh one even when killing the titans. And you know what? I am tired of all of this shit. You will tell this man everything, or I swear… I will let him kill you where you sit. I am not going to stop him from hurting you just because you aren’t able to take more harm to your body, or your body isn’t healing. I am done with playing fair, when you shifters can play dirty. _I will let him kill you_.”

“You are bluffing,” my cadet’s voice was trembling now, partially due to Regulus’s arm around his shoulders, and partially during the resolve he saw in me.

Regulus made a few steps around Albert’s chair before leaning down, and putting his hands on Albert’s shoulders. His forefinger pointed at Levi, who was standing behind me. 

“Let me tell you something about your Corporals. This one usually breaks bones and beats the crap out of people… but you know that by now, don’t you? It’s very effective, yet he only does what needs to be done. He doesn’t particularly enjoy torture, he likes clean kills because he is a damn clean-freak. And the sooner he does it, the better. Also, he has a great self-control, which might have saved you from being killed while you were under his torture. Me, on the other hand…” he smiled wickedly, “I am seeing torture as… a form of art. There are so many ways to get answers from those who aren’t eager to share them. So many ways… like, through stress positions and pressure points. You are a soldier, you know what I am talking about, especially since Corporal Schwarz...” Regulus grimaced at me, mocking my title, “… taught you to endure these kinds of interrogations. Hasn’t she? Bless her for her kindness. She truly has a good heart.”

“Shut up, geezer,” I said. _Those with good hearts don’t behave as Ezra Schwarz_.

“Speaking about repaying kindness with betrayal, _Ezra, ružo moja…_ how does it feel to have two of your supposedly loyal dogs to bite that very hand that trained them?” he asked, with clear blame in his question. I was already feeling bad about it, he didn’t have to rub additional salt in that wound of mine. But Regulus wouldn’t be Regulus if he didn’t say it in that very way.

“Feels _like shit_ , as you must be already aware, _prokleti starče_.”

Albert twitched a bit and looked at both of us. His face had that odd expression, like he’s just realized something. Regulus’s forefinger moved to point right towards me. 

“Take a good look at this one. Seriously, take a good look. I bet that you think that you have her all figured out, since she was your leader and all, but you are in for a surprise.”

“Regulus,” Levi’s voice was soft, was calm, but came as a warning. 

“It’s fine,” I said. Regulus smirked again, and it was the expression of pure malice. His smile never touched his eyes. They remained deadly. “Out all of us…” he spread his arms, pretty theatrically, “all the three of us… Ezra probably has the highest natural propensity towards violence.” He made a brief dramatic pause. I rolled my eyes. This was the part where he starts the monologue. 

“Ah, the good old violence. Levi doesn’t like it, up to this day. He sees it as necessary, but he doesn’t like it. There’s still time, though, I grew to like violence myself in time, to the point where I truly find it to be a form of… an art-expression. It’s useful skill too, it brought me many jobs. But Ezra? _She is natural, violence comes as easy to her as breathing_. I am not even joking.” 

Albert looked at me. “I know who Ezra is. She will not… despite all, she won’t…” 

“Wanna bet, boy? You really wanna play that move?” Regulus’s hoarse voice resonated through the cell. “You have no idea who you are dealing with, but that’s the deal with Ezra Schwarz. You don’t know until it’s too late.”

Levi gave him a deadly glare. “Careful now. Be very careful, Regulus.”

“Or what, Lance Corporal?” the older killer mocked. “Erwin and Aurora both know.”

“Know what?” Albert asked.  

“That this little bitch here… used to be a hired hand too. I am not the only one with a funny nickname here.” Well… I had to agree with that. Regulus tapped Albert’s back, pretty forcefully. 

“As you may or may not know, they used to call her the “Queen of Spades”. Ah, that sounds familiar, doesn’t it? I thought it would. She was… kind of famous before she joined the damn military.” 

“ _Infamous_ would be a better expression,” I corrected the cocky bastard. He smiled, and reached for his inner pocket to find a pack of cigarettes.  

Albert’s eyes were wide now, and he was staring at me like he’s seen me for the very first time in his life. “It can’t be… that you…”

“Yes,” I said, “I was the Queen of Spades, a child who was made into a killer for her own protection, and later hired as a valid assassin. It wasn’t my choice, I had no saying in that. No one is born to be a killer, killers are made. It’s not something I am proud of, I have never been. The training has been difficult as Hell, I wasn’t as good as the stories go, so… all the stories you’ve heard about me are probably exaggerated. But I’ve killed many, that part is correct. Some of them were guilty, some of them were innocent. My hands are stained with blood, stained so much that I feel I can never wash them away, no matter how hard I try. So, Holbein… don’t tell me that I won’t kill you. Or Christiana, for that matter. You are trying to reassure yourself, not me. Therefore, don’t say that I don’t have it in me, because you might find, in the most unpleasant way, exactly what kind of monster I can be.”

Albert inhaled once, twice. Slowly. Steadily.

“Your turn, Albert. Give me something good, I’ve just told you something about me that only four people around me know. Regulus, Levi, Erwin and Aurora. Now, you do too. So, share. It’s only fair.”

Albert bit his lip again. I gave him a moment, before reaching for my own blade yet another time. When he saw my hand moving, he twitched, and started talking. 

“It was… it was... Christiana… she… Christiana led the attack on Hoover, while he was still in Utopia district… she and shifters from other squads, I mean. T-They had help from the Military Police, and infiltrated Hoover’s cell. They al-almost hung him. If cadet Sohner, cadet Sieler, and Major Amsel hadn’t arrived in time… Bertholdt Hoover would most certainly die,” Albert confessed.

I looked at Levi, then at Regulus. I can’t say this information really surprised me, we knew about the possibility that Hoover was attacked from our own ranks, not necessarily by the Military Police as the reports from cadet Sieler suggested. Aurora was right, once again. It was our own affiliation.

Christiana probably wanted to kill Hoover in order to stop him from telling who other shifters were. For self-preservation. Oh, I am going to have so much fun with that little bitch when Hanji wakes her up from the comatose state she is currently in. 

“So, that means… that Christiana doesn’t work with the Homeland faction either. Right?” 

“She… she doesn’t. Like I said, we weren’t exactly talking about our plans, or goals… or anything… but she did ask me to participate in that mission. I refused.” 

I was playing with the hilt of my knife. “And can anyone confirm that for you?” I asked, already assuming what he’d say.

“Griselda… she can. We were together during that time.”

“How convenient.”

“I swear,” Albert sounded desperate now, “Hans can confirm it too, since he was with us the night when Hoover was assaulted.”

“Hans is dead.” I stated. He seemed genuinely shocked. He didn’t know. 

“What else?” I asked. 

“Christiana was… in the archives. She has done some kind of research, and… even before we all found out that the Riess family were the actual royal dynasty… Christiana seemed to know about all of it before Queen Historia even took the throne from King Fritz. Christiana was also doing a research about a certain woman. I think it had something to do with the Grand Rebellion, and… well… Christiana had a difficulty because the books were written in a language she couldn’t translate.”

Regulus removed his blade from Albert, and I mirrored his action by removing mine. He seemed unusually interested, and very serious about this discovery. 

“What language?” I asked. 

“I… I am not sure. It was Cyrillic alphabet, but I couldn’t tell which form of language it has been.”

“And… the name of that woman?” I wanted to know. Regulus rose, stepping aside and approaching me and Levi. 

“It was…” Albert was searching through the memory… but it was Regulus that responded. 

“Василиса Војислављевић.” Vasilisa Vojislavljević. Could it really be?

“How… how did you know?” Albert asked. 

“Because she was one of a few Southern Slavs that were involved in the rebellion. She was one of the leaders that worked against the Reiss family, twenty years ago,” Regulus’ answer was simple. His face was stiff as a rock, and his voice was harsh. But deep underneath, I knew this wasn’t easy for him. 

In those rare times when he spoke of her, he spoke fondly, and gently. He would call her “Lisa” instead of Vasilisa, and his sharp facial features would change a bit, forming an unusual, rare expression of sadness. It wasn’t common to see Regulus in that state.

“What else is there, Albert?” I asked again. Just in case. 

“That’s all. Please, Ezra… you have to believe me. I know nothing more. Please…”

Regulus glared at me. “Should I check whether he is telling the truth, Ezra?” 

“Suit yourself. But I really, really think that he told us everything he knows at this point,” I shrugged my shoulders. Then, I stretched my arms again and yawned. I was exhausted. 

“This seems to be your lucky hour, boy. I am going to leave you for the time being. But don’t think for one second that we’re done.” 

Regulus hit him in the face, and knocked him out in a single blow. Albert was unconscious for the third time, but he will live. Just like Erwin wanted. 

I thought about the whole damn thing and it didn’t make sense. Why was Christiana investigating someone from twenty years ago? Could it be that Lisa was a shifter too? These damn revelations, instead of properly answering one question, they only added additional ones to confuse us further. 

“Well. I guess we will have to wait for a bitch to wake up to tell us why she did a research on that woman instead of boiling our brains with curiosity.” I rose from my seat, and Levi moved aside, but hasn’t looked at me. I’ve noticed that he was pale, and he seemed more tired than usual too. Maybe he needed to rest as much as I did. Regulus frowned. 

“Who knows. Maybe your lieutenant-shifter wanted to check on our own historical records, and check on how much we know. It could all be a false lead.”

“That’s highly unlikely,” Levi added, crossing his arms on his chest. 

“Major better hear about all of this. I shall be the one to inform her, if you two don’t mind,” Regulus said. He went towards the cell’s door, and made a brief pause.

“Ezra. You should get some sleep, you know it’s bad for your health to be sleep deprived. You have to take care of yourself,” he said, not turning to face either of us. 

I fought the urge to rush towards him, and hug him tightly. He could be nice when he wanted to be. 

“But again…” he turned, and made that devious smirk of his that made him look like a demented titan, “… I guess that having this midget shake every bone in your body must be… exhausting, though quite satisfying.” I fought the urge to smack him directly across that face. 

“You would like to know, wouldn’t you? You senile, rheumatic, old fool. Pervert. Maniac.”

“It’s beyond satisfying, really,” Levi said, with a blunt face. “She is quite endurable.”

“I WON’T LET THE TWO OF YOU HAVE THIS KIND OF CONVERSATION IN FRONT OF ME!” I threw a knife at Regulus and he gallantly moved out of the harm’s way, just in time. Damn him and his fast reflexes.

“Like I said… you really need that sleep, Corporal,” the geezer winked at me, “your aim gets terrible when you are tired.”


	23. Harsh Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wondered why she is the way she is? Here's your answer.
> 
> http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Harsh-Lessons-pt-23-537121753?q=gallery%3Agalateabellator%2F46150061&qo=1

_**Warning: This chapter contains some pretty disturbing scenes and implied sexual content. It isn't for a mature filter, but don't say I didn't warn you.** _

**PART 23 - HARSH LESSONS - Levi x OC**

I don’t pray to the Three Great Bitches and their crappy Walls. Not anymore.

It might came as a surprise… but I used to pray a lot when I was a child. Not because I was deeply religious, nothing like that - but because I’ve heard from a girl in the orphanage that, if you wish for something badly, and pray for it every day, your wish would most certainly be granted. Out of the three great Goddesses, at least _one_ would hear your prayer. Right? 

Wrong. But at that time, I was stupid enough to believe it, and determined enough to try it. I mostly prayed for two things: for Levi’s well-being, for he was always in some kind of danger, and for our mutual escape from the Hell we were living in. I’ve heard stories about the world on the surface, and it seemed like a place from a dream. I wanted us to live somewhere like that, far away from the stench of soars and the darkness of the world below that I knew all too well.  

But sometimes, people need to be careful what they wish for, or pray for. I’ve learned that in the most difficult way one girl could have. It was a very painful lesson… but a necessary one as well.

The name of that lesson was “Gilford”.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The orphanage in the Underground City wasn’t exactly an institution that really bothered to find homes for abandoned children. It was more of a place where all the abandoned children were gathered under the same roof, and given modest resources that barely kept them alive… until they weren’t. It was a temporarily home… but also a grave for the weakest of us. Ironically, that dump was named “Sanctuary”. For reasons unknown to me, it was all but sanctuary. 

Some brats were lucky enough to get adopted. The healthiest ones. The most… promising ones. But, as expected, the numbers of those who were left behind to die heavily outweighed the number of those who were sent away. However, I knew I wouldn’t stay there for long. I was sure of it, because Levi promised, and Levi always kept his promises, one way or another. 

There was an old lady who managed the whole place, but wasn’t happy about it. Mrs. Gibbs wasn’t exactly a maternal figure, even if she did all the things that were required – cooking, washing the dishes and our clothes, stuff like that. She was supposedly looking after us, but that wasn’t really the case… I believe the more children died, the happier she was because there were less mouth to feed, and more money in her pocket. Now when I think about it, I am not sure that those adopted children weren’t actually sold into slavery or something. 

There was also… a man. His name was Vladimir, and he was a janitor in that orphanage. He used to keep an eye on all of the children… and he absolutely hated it. Nothing annoyed him more than a bunch of brats who were noisy and wouldn’t obey. He was very intimidating, so orphans feared him dearly… but some of us were also bold enough to call him names and mock his heavy accent. 

He wasn’t very good at speaking the common language, being a descendant of Southern Slavs… so he often used foreign-language expressions and murmured words we couldn’t understand. He also drunk a lot and sometimes beat up the least obedient children. (I was smacked a few times for wanting to escape from the orphanage, and apparently, neither Mrs. Gibbs nor Vladimir liked it). 

He was also our version of an undertaker. His duties, among other things, required him to remove the bodies of children that died… and bury them. I can still hear the sound of a shovel, piercing the harsh, cold ground. I still remember the diggings, followed by man’s heavy grunts which would usually break the eerie silence as he kept burying the bodies. I wasn’t there all the time, I only asked to accompany this grumpy old man when some of the kids I used to know or like… pass away. I guess I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to pay my respects. To bid last farewells to those that meant something. For example… to that girl who told me about prayers. She died three months after getting in the orphanage, and her wish never got fulfilled. It was all very… heartbreaking. 

Well… all in all, “The Sanctuary” was a gloomy place. I hated it to the bone. It only reminded me that I was left behind by the person who should have had loved me the most in her life, but chose to leave me behind instead. I was constantly hungry, and started to get skinnier day by day. I couldn’t get a decent sleep, because the children would always cry, or make noise, or talk. But I was alive, and that had to be enough. 

However, I still hated everything about it - the smell, the nasty taste of food that the bitch Gibbs prepared. Small portions, barely seven spoons per plate. I was eating better food when I was with Levi, but I knew that things got ugly and that he had to leave me in that dump. He asked from Vladimir to look after me, because that suspicious man actually owed him a favor. And not a small one either - he owed him his life and Levi decided to ask for a favor back. So, Vladimir was taking care of me in ways he saw fit. His “duty” was to keep an eye on me and make sure that I don’t do something stupid. I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger, and praying to the Three Great Bitches was probably one of them.

The reason I am stating this is because my wish seemingly came true when Mrs. Gibbs informed us that a nobleman from the Capital was going to visit the orphanage and adopt one child. He was rich, he was influential, and he wanted to show his good will by providing a home for one of the unfortunate souls and bring us into the light of a vast, beautiful world up there, in Sina and Capital of Mitras. 

It just happened that I was the lucky little bastard who got the privilege. 

At first, I objected. I didn’t want to be in the Capital if Levi wasn’t with me, but Gilford promised that he would make sure that Levi gets out of the Underground too if I was a good girl and a good adopted daughter. Piece of cake. 

Levi even got to visit before Gilford arranged papers for me. It seemed that I was going to be the constant, lawfully permitted resident of the Capital, thanks to those papers.

“I don’t want to go, Levi. I don’t like it,” I said, hugging him tightly. I was eight years old, but I was still emotional, whiny brat that couldn’t let go of him, not even if it was for my own good. 

“They say he is a good man. He will take a good care of you, Ezra. He will give you things you have never even dreamed of having. He will give you food, clothes, a home…”

“You gave me all those things! I don’t want…”

“Ezra.” His tone was cold. “I’ve had enough. You aren’t my child, you aren’t my sister. We aren’t even kindred. You are nothing to me. I am tired of having to constantly take care of you. This man wants to give you a home. This is for your own good, and you will go. Do you understand?” he asked.

“You… you don’t mean that,” I was upset. My eyes were filled with tears. 

“I do,” he said harshly. I know he did that to make me go, back then… to hurt me so I would get angry and upset, and make a scene, and tell him that I hated him. But I didn’t. I wanted to cry. I didn’t know what to say, so I stared at him. Desperately wanting him to take those words back, but he didn’t. 

“You are going with that man. You are going to become a noblewoman, a lady, and you are going to learn many new things, and have many new toys. You will eat thrice a day. You will drink from the most refined tea-cups and eat with silver spoons or something. Ezra, that man is rich. You will never starve.” I held a sob, and was defiantly looking at him. 

“Come with me. Please, come with me…” I pulled his hand. He put his palm on top of my head.  

“This isn’t the last time we see each other, I will definitely find you to make sure you are all right. I will manage somehow. Vladimir has people up there, so don’t cry. I will come and visit.”

I wasn’t comforted by those words. Not in the slightest. Levi knew that too so he leaned down and slightly pinched my cheek. 

“Remove that horrible, gloomy expression.”

“No.”

“Tch… you are stubborn as Hell.”

I hugged him tightly. He endured it bravely. Then, he handed me a white piece of cloth, wrapped around something. “Just in case. Hide it well.” 

I grabbed him around the waist and inhaled the scent of his shirt. “I don’t want to go!” 

“Ezra…” 

“Don’t leave me!” I begged, and he allowed me a few more moments next to him. He was stroking treads of my hair, and remained silent. Briefly. 

“I have to. Behave, brat.” 

He pushed me away, not looking at me, and got out of the room. I couldn’t help it. I’ve started to cry despite previously telling him that I wouldn’t.  

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Gilford came for me a few days later. He was small, rounded man with green eyes, ashy hair and a thick moustache. He also had that long aristocratic last name that I didn’t bother to remember. To me, he was just Giford… and that was it. 

My new life in the Capital resembled a fairy tale. It was all like Levi predicted it would be – I’ve got a lot of toys, pretty new dresses, I’ve got my own room and private tutors to help me learn various things. I’ve started learning different languages, history of the Walled World, stuff like that. I’ve even had some dancing lessons and violin practicing. Things finally seemed to go well for me, and my wish to abandon the darkness of the underground finally came true. 

He was a good man. A father figure, even if he was a widower without children of his own. He was polite, decent, cultured and kind… and he loved me like he would love his own daughter. Or at least… I thought so, for about five long months before I’ve realized how wrong I’ve been. The worst part about it was the fact that I used to love him back, before _things_ started to happen. 

Levi visited me a few times since I was adopted, but all his visits were brief. Gilford didn’t like him, so Levi didn’t want to stay in manor longer than it was necessary. I hated it, because I wanted to share some things with him. Things I was feeling were wrong, but couldn’t bring myself to talk about. I wanted to tell them to someone, but felt ashamed. I couldn’t say those kind of things, not to Levi and not to anyone. 

But the way Gilford was sometimes looking at me… gave me the creeps. What I once thought was a sweet, warm, father-like smile, turned into something twisted, and made me sick. I almost felt physically ill in times he made me sit on his lap, and read from one of his books. I didn’t like the way he was touching me. Or hugging me. I grew to despise the very sound of his voice, and his breathing. I felt it must have had something to do with me… being abandoned, rejected, unfitting for civilized world, I really believed something was wrong with me, and that Gilford was, in fact, perfectly fine, sweet little man who only wanted to do good for a little beast such as me. An ungrateful little bitch. 

I couldn’t fully explain..., so I didn’t tell anyone how I felt around that man. I was playing my violin, studying my lessons, dancing and playing with my toys… and had to pretend that I was perfectly happy. A fake smile for guests, and nauseous disgust when I was left alone in my room. All the dolls suddenly lost their appeal. All the dresses lost their worth. I felt sick after eating food. My room felt like a cage, and I would corner up behind my bed, and hold one, only thing that made me feel safe. A small, wrapped object I got from Levi when we parted. I would lay to sleep by holding that wad under my pillow. And I was desperately missing Levi. Hell, I was even missing Vladimir, his hoarse voice and nasty cigarettes, his yelling and stomping through the orphanage halls. 

I remember it like it happened yesterday. It was night that marked me for life and turned me into something that I’ve never imagined I could possibly become. I was in my bed, trying to get some sleep, when I’ve heard the door. They opened quietly, smoothly, and the footsteps were barely audible. But he was stepping towards me and I knew that all my doubts, all my fears… were justified. The man that I’ve previously loved as a father… that I’ve chosen to open up and let him became my family… decided to reveal his true colors.

He lied down next to me. I felt his breath on my neck, and his hand on my blanket. It was crawling up to my leg, and I was shaking. I was shivering. I can’t remember I was that scared in my whole life. 

“F… father?” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears… “wh… what are you doing… father?”  

“We are going to play a game.” 

“Please… don’t… please… please!” 

“Be still, Ezra… be still… and be quiet.” 

He would force himself onto me. I knew that from the moment he entered my room, and even if the concept of rape wasn’t familiar to me, I still knew that what was happening was absolutely wrong as much as it was disgusting, and terrifying. So, I pulled the hilt that I hid under the pillow. The thing that I got from Levi… was a knife. The most precious thing to him, since he got it from Kenny. 

_“Hide it well. We’ve been talking about this. If you are in some kind of danger, don’t hesitate. Always keep it somewhere where you can pull it fast. Remember it, Ezra. I mean it.”_

Levi taught me before how to hold a knife, how to angle it… but he never thought that I would actually have to use it, even if he gave it to me for my own protection.

I was in panic. In pure hysteria. Overcame by the pure fear. It was also some kind of adrenaline rush, I wasn’t thinking, I was just doing what I felt I had to do. I took a deep breath to calm myself down, and I shoved the hilt into Gilford’s neck, and struck deeply. He twitched, gasping. He tried to scream, but the blade was already too deep. His hand reached for my face and he buried my head in the pillow. I cut his throat in one fast, deep motion, a motion that a child like me… shouldn’t have been able to make with such precision. But I did. 

My adopter’s blood started splashing all over me, all over my nightgown, and his body fell heavily on mine. I’ve struggled to crawl under, completely mortified and shocked. The blood on my face felt sticky, warm. It was nasty. I fought the urge to vomit. I fought the urge to scream from the bottom of my lungs but I did neither. Instead, I took the knife, and started running as far away as I possibly could. I got out of the house and got in the street, hiding in welcoming shadows of alleys. 

I don’t know how far I’ve been roaming… and I don’t know for how long. It was Levi who found me, and it was Vladimir who cleaned the things up after me. He was good at covering murders, and had friends in high places. For me… he burned the whole mansion down, along with Gilford’s corpse. And all of that on Levi’s behalf. 

For me… it hasn’t ended there, of course. The heavy impact of that event… forced me to change. To evolve into something dark and abnormal. To lose shreds of my humanity at early age, and mature before the proper time. The night Gilford died was the night when the infamous _Queen of Spades_ was born. He was the first man she killed, and he wasn’t the last one. 

I never wanted any of it. I never wanted to be so numb, so terrified and so broken as I was after what happened at Gilford’s manor. I’ve broken down so much that I thought that I should die. _I wanted to die_. But Levi was there once again to pick me up and gather all those shattered pieces of me… back together. 

I still see myself as a monster because I was, and I am a killer. It never goes away. Some killings after Gilford were commissioned. In some, I served as a bait. In others, I did the killings. In any case... I had assistance, because it's not like I could do all of that stuff by myself. 

That... altered me further. But even if I wasn't aware of what I was doing then, I can't say I don't know better now. I do. But there's this constant struggle within me. And the thing that terrifies me the most... is the capacity of violence I am able to inflict with a disturbingly small amount of remorse. 

The same goes for taking a life. It's becoming easier, and easier, to the point where I no longer care who is innocent and who is not. I was on some cover operations in a different section of SL before I gained the rank of Corporal and my own unit to lead. Those missions required me going back to my old habits, so... some people were tortured, some died, and it was my fault. I can't be sure they were all bad people, but I am the one who decided that they were villains, and I have to live with that decision, as well as with their execution. Their blood is on my hands. 

And even if Erwin thinks that my judgment or estimations were good and believes that my actions were justified... I am not sure. I must constantly fight the monster within. Blood excites me. Killing does too. So... I am not going to pretend that I am a good person, troubled by the tragic past. I was a girl, yeah, but the seed of violence and the desire for blood spilling, the ability to take life... all of that was already there. Something triggered it, sure, but it was there, lying dormant. Waiting. It's always waiting, and it scares the shit out of me. Scares me because I like it. I enjoy it, and if that's not psychotic... I don’t know what is. 

I wasn't strong at first. I served as bait, to lure some dangerous people into traps that Vladimir would cleverly set to trap them. Then, he’d kill them by using his twin blades, his weapons of choice. 

I was still using gambling to obtain what I wanted, because I wasn’t prepared to fully kill people. But Vladimir worked hard to turn me into an assassin and he wasn’t gentle with his lessons. Levi didn’t like it, but he did not want me to became victim so he eventually encouraged the lessons and even aided additional help when I required him to do so. 

All I knew was that I wanted to grow stronger. I knew I will never allow anyone else to try to hurt me the way Gilford almost did. That was all I was thinking about in that time when I started training.

I’ve also learned how to _shatter_ myself (and I choose that word because I am able to actually break myself into millions of pieces, and then re-construct myself by using all those pieces again). Call me arrogant, but that's how I function most of the time. Levi once told me... that person can only know the true despair only when he or she is completely shattered. To the point where the repair is virtually impossible. That's the breaking point, if you will, a point where a person has to choose... whether to completely give up, disappear, or die... or to collect those pieces and try to repair them, no matter how sloppy the whole remake looks afterwards. It forces you to be stronger. I mean... it forced me anyway. I can speak only for myself, not for others.

It's LIFE that forced me to snap out of my illusions that someone will protect me, and I realized that if I don't protect myself, no one else will. Wait... not "will", for they had the will, and a strong one too. But like I said... others couldn't be there every time I needed to be protected. 

Very early, I had to do it on my own, even if my... 'family' in lack of a better word, did everything he could to provide the best he could for me. The circumstances, and bad people forced me to break, so I broke myself along the way just to glue all those pieces back together. Be as it is, I may have lost some human qualities along the way, but it goes with the world we are living in. It's that simple. And although I sometimes wish I was a bit different... more girly, more opened, more optimistic and merciful, or more... feminine and more _human_ in general... not so strict and un-trusty towards others... I am good with knowing that I can protect myself in times of need and that others don't have to worry so much about me. Levi first. Then Vladimir, who now-days presents himself as "Regulus". He still cares for me even if he never admits it openly. He doesn't have to. I know his heart as well and as much as he knows mine. 

In the end, Regulus turned out to be the closest to a father figure I've ever had, even if he was deranged, and twisted sort of parent. But at least... he tried. And in some crazy, almost incomprehensible way, he tried to be a parent to me and I could say that he actually... did well. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Levi was looking at me like he was reading my mind. He wanted to say something to me, but the door opened with a loud slam, and Hanji Zoe rushed into a cell with blissful, and excited expression on her ever-optimistic, happy face. She was almost hysteric this time. 

“You have to come to see this! FITZGERALD IS **AWAKE**!”


	24. Cornering The Prey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_For she is a special kind of shifter._ **
> 
> Link to DA chapter: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Cornering-The-Prey-pt-24-549290963?ga_submit_new=10%253A1438815254&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1

LANCE CORPORAL - Cornering The Prey (pt. 24)  
by galateabellator, jul 28th 2015  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Drama

**_Warning: This chapter includes some scenes of violence and gore, but it isn't for a mature filter. Consider yourselves warned :)_ **

**PART 24 - CORNERING THE PREY - Levi x OC**

Hanji didn’t seem tired like we were - on the contrary… she was as energetic and cheerful as she has always been. I almost envied that character feature of hers. 

“Before we proceed…” she put her arm around me, and squeezed me into a tight hug, “… those were, by far, your best moves!” She took my cheek with her hand and squeezed it. I stopped for a moment before realizing that she witnessed my apprehension of Christiana – much like Erwin and Aurora.

“Probably the best I could pull off in that moment. She did almost cut me in half,” I stopped her, because it was embarrassing. “But thanks,” I added, removing her hand from my face. She giggled.

“After witnessing the whole thing… damn. I think that your combat mark should be officially corrected into _eleven_!“

“I am still not as good as…” I started, only to hear footsteps approaching us. Two familiar faces appeared. One of them was rolling his eyes and the other was grinning widely. 

“And _there she goes again_. Not as good as _Mike_?” Collin offered. Brett just smiled wider. 

“Corporal Schwarz is a Warrior Goddess. She turns into full-war mechanism when dealing with titans and shifters!” he insisted enthusiastically. He just loved to exaggerate my qualities, and Collin usually backed him up. 

“Yeah… Corporal Sharp is definitely a sharp, badass bitch – no offense…” he started…

“None taken…” I’ve instantly responded, per habit…

“… but we must praise Lance Corporal’s influence riiiiight there,” Collin continued, pointing his forefinger at Levi, “… because she wouldn’t be who she is today if there wasn’t an established route and regimen he made _a priori_.” 

“He was her mentor, so it’s really no wonder she grew to be this strong,” Hanji smiled and tapped my shoulder. Levi was just staring at all of them, and remained silent. Something bothered me more than fact that they brought up Levi. I glared at Collin. 

“ _Corporal Sharp?_ Really?”  

“Of course. It’s a pun, and a good one if you ask me,” he wasn’t even ashamed. 

“It fits you perfectly, so, don’t argue,” Hanji giggled. She was so happy because we brought her yet another shifter she could dissect, or whatever those mad scientists did with their subjects. 

Well, whatever it was, I hoped it hurt like Hell. 

“Just call me Ezra. I have that fabulous, masculine name for a reason,” I mumbled. Hanji practically screamed in my ear. 

“A simple name won’t do! YOU DESERVE ALL THE TITLES AND NICKNAMES YOU GET, BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING, CORPORAL SHARP!” 

“I think I prefer ‘Corporal Bitch’ over this any day. But thanks for the praise.”

“Hah, you will get used to it in no time,” she winked. 

“I hope I won’t have to. Boys… I will need you to assist Lance Corporal’s squad, the soldiers aren’t very happy with the current situation so they might cause some kind of bullshit. Prevent it and keep them away from these dungeons. Hanji, we are really wasting our time on dull conversations. Show me where the treacherous bitch is kept and we can experiment on her in all the ways you want.” 

Collin and Brett saluted and left us right away, and Hanji pointed towards certain cell. I knew they were all trying to joke around and make the situation more… relieving… in order to ease the heavy atmosphere, and our difficult tasks. They wanted to make me feel a bit better about the whole thing regarding Christiana, and while I appreciated their not-so-subtle attempts to cheer me up, I didn’t want to lose more time in that corridor. Hanji was thinking about something. 

“I thought that Regulus would join us. He is very efficient with suspects. That man really has some pretty useful talents…”

“Yeah. He will join us later, he went to report our recent discoveries to Aurora. But tell me… what do we know about Fitzgerald as shifter at this point? And don’t get all sweet to me and pretend that you didn’t do anything while we were questioning Albert. I take you called us only after you did… a few… _reasonable_ tests on her.” 

She grinned widely once again. “Straight to business, Corporal? I love that about ya. Now, to be perfectly honest… I did test her. And only then, I called you both.”

“Another expected reaction from your part. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but the titan serum you’ve given to me was supposed to keep her in comatose state for at least few hours, if we take into account that I injected her with half of the original doze. Right? And oh… explain it to me in small words and understandable expressions. You know that I suck at anything that's related to science.”

“I will try to keep it in the simplest possible way. It’s true - it should have kept her down, but it appears that her biology and physiognomy are different comparing to Hoover or Braun’s shifting bodies. Moreover… she has this amazing regenerative ability, I’ve never seen something like that before. She regenerates much faster than, let’s say… Female Titan, or the Armored Titan. It also appears that she also possesses this ability to quickly build immunity against foreign substances in her body.”

“Hang on. It basically means… that she could become immune to your serum in a really short period of time, then?” I asked. 

“Exactly. That’s why the dose you primarily injected into her hasn’t completely prevented her from shifting. Usually, even a half dose would do – the shifter would be practically immobile. The Armored Titan got down almost instantly, as Metzger’s report stated. But Christiana’s titan has a different construction, and similar, but different abilities and characteristics. I have analyzed the sample of titan tissue, meat from her face and her limbs, samples of titan flesh that remained on her after she was extracted from her titan… and it deviates from Braun or Hoover’s samples in a way. Even her blood evaporates more slowly comparing to blood samples of those two, which implies that her shifting abilities are also different, and that she probably has better control over her titan. But that’s just a theory of mine, it could be very wrong.”

“Oh, believe me, it’s absolutely true. Aurora and her squad can confirm this. Fitzgerald gave me a hard time right after she transformed. Without your serum, we would be screwed, just like we will be if you don’t figure a way to keep her from shifting again. If she has this… ability to build an immunity against your drug… there are _two ways_ we deal with Christiana. First option is my personal fave – _we snap her neck_. Kill her instantly, for the greater good. Don’t waste your time on her lies. The second possibility… is that you make _another, stronger mixture_ , as fast as you can. We can’t allow her to just… transform again and kill us all.”

Hanji smirked. “Way ahead of you. I have another version of it as we speak. There’s nothing that inspires me more than a problem that appears to be unsolvable! Now, the sample wasn’t tested… so we will have to make do with what we have. But, I have to warn you… she is somewhat different to all we’ve seen before. Different comparing to Eren Jaeger, and to all other shifters we have captured.”

“Are you saying that… she might be an advanced type among the advanced types?” I’ve realized how stupid that sounds only after the words left my mouth, but still. 

“Nothing so drastic, no… but she is _quite_ advanced, in my opinion. She might not be all that tall as titan, but she is super-fast and her regeneration topples every shifter’s healing ability that we’ve dealt with so far.” I recalled how quickly Christiana restored her teeth and her limbs. Like she was a fucking lizard or something. Hell.  

“Well… there’s only one way to see how that regeneration works in her human form. _I will make sure to watch closely_.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A chuckle greeted us from the darkness.

“My, my,” Christiana Fitzgerald smiled, “look at all of you, gathered to question the poor, dear me.” Her smile was almost innocent, and she almost had this apologetic expression, as if she was… a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Oh, you naughty, naughty girl. 

She wasn’t trying to release herself from her shackles, though. She just continued blabbering. 

“Tell me something… just how many elite soldiers of the Scouting Legion does it take… to question one tied, weakened, and unprotected shifter like me?”

Isn’t she just adorable? The three of us have just kept looking at her.  

“Let me guess. It will be _Ezra_ ,” Christiana pulled the shackles on her wrists, slamming them onto the desk in front of her, and smiled again. “ _It has to be Ezra_. We’ve came too far to let any other person question me - or torture me, for that matter. Am I right?”

“Partially,” I’ve stated, looking into those wide, olive eyes. “But there are so many officers who feel obliged to interrogate you. Who am I to stand in their way?”

“Come on, then. I am sure you all will have your fun, because after all… you are that sort of people who love doing brutal things and call it _justice_ ,” she giggled. “So… shall we begin?”

I had to ask her something first. “Tell me something, Fitzgerald. How do you justify yourself when _you_ are doing brutal things? When you are the one killing all the people? What’s your excuse?” 

She wanted to demonstrate her confidence… and her supposed lack of fear in front of humanity’s most elite soldiers. But that was fine. It was all an act. An attempt of bravery in face of probable death, and I could praise her courage if she hasn’t been on the enemy’s side. 

“I’ve had a mission. A task, if you will. All I did was for the greater cause and for the bigger picture."

“How unoriginal.” I had to roll my eyes. “It's Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie all over again. Are you going to say you were blackmailed too? That you had no other choice? Are you going to try to fake it, little bitch?”  

“Hell, no. Do not compare me to those weaklings! Those children are just about blind as your own stupid race is! I am much, much more than their lame factions will ever be! More than your own will ever be!” she seemed genuinely offended by my suggestion that she worked with those children that remained in our custody. 

So, we were right to presume that she didn't belong to their group. I didn't know whether I was relieved to hear that, or not. 

“But screw that. I am well aware that, no matter what I say now… you won’t show mercy. I know you that well. So, I won’t bother with asking for it. Hence, go on, Ezra. I know you can’t wait to put your hands on me,” she challenged me bravely, but I was glad to hear a small tremor in her voice. 

“I shall decide when we will begin,” I said calmly. I’ve had the upper hand here, and she knew it. She missed her chance, and got caught. Well, her bad. 

I was circling around her chair. Slow steps. Long stares. Slow movements. I will let her talk and let her act all tough and brave. She will know the true fear in time (if she doesn’t already, because she knows very well how I deal with people who decide to stand in my way, deliberately or not). Benefits of becoming a murderer at young age - you have that certain… aura that follows you around and scares the shit out of other people. _Or shifters._

If I learned anything from Vladimir… it was patience. Despite being hot-headed and prone to violent outbursts… I could control myself at times like these. _Especially at times like these_. 

I recalled his words. His lessons. 

_**Zapamti, ružo. Lovac i lovina*. Cornering the prey is nothing if you don’t make them fear you more than they already do. It’s essential to make them unable to tell when you will strike, to confuse them and make them insecure. Only then they will truly break. Play with them. After all, they have to know who is the ultimate, apex predator…**_ * Remember, rose. The hunter and the hunted.

It was essential to capture the prey. Playing with it was less entertaining to me. I was more into enjoying _the hunt_. 

Hanji stepped towards our prisoner. Scientist was grinning, and seemed very excited. She fixed her eyeglasses on her nose and approached the traitor with a syringe. Christiana smiled back to her. 

“Squad leader Zoe with her silly mixtures. Doing things in the name of science and research. For benefit of the whole humanity, one may say.” 

“One might! But _I_ am going to say… for all the damage that you’ve caused and all those soldiers you’ve killed… I am not even going to feel sorry for doing this to you,” she shoved the needle into her vein, and pressed the top. “And when I think that I once liked you, Fitzgerald. What a shame.”

Christiana twitched, and faced the squad leader, then looked at the Lance Corporal. He returned the gaze without blinking. She faced Hanji back yet again. 

“In reality, you are merely just another sadist who hides behind her rank. Very much like my dear Corporal Schwarz. You bitches are quite confident when you are dealing with cornered subjects. How brave. _How very brave_.” 

Hanji raised an eyebrow, still smiling. She knew better than to be provoked by this. I found my traitor very annoying, so my smile was yet to come.

Even in shackles, and tied to a chair… Christiana’s body was completely intact. No missing limbs, or teeth, no scratches, incisions or wounds. Nothing. She looked absolutely healthy, but I am going to change that state of hers. Both in body and mind. 

“Well, you can blame your own stupidity for being cornered in the first place. Quite the mistake on your part … but yeah. We bitches are going to make you regret it badly. So badly, that you will wish that you have never been born. Hanji… explain why.”

She couldn’t wait for this. “We know about your abilities. We know how you shift, and what you are shifting into. It’s quite impressive, dear Christiana, but not near impressive enough! After all, we have the Colossal titan in custody and he cooperated by providing his own tissue and blood samples. Do you know how hard it is… to develop a drug potent enough to prevent him from shifting? How hard it is… to beat his own regeneration? And we made it!” 

“Whatever you have…” Christiana smiled at all the three of us… “if you really know about who I am, then you should be able to tell that it won’t work. Not with me, and not for long anyway.” 

“Because of your immunity?” Hanji offered, and giggled like a lunatic now, “trust me… I’ve made a few modifications to this along the way. This will work against you. It contains Jaeger’s spinal liquid. Half of the dose that Ezra inserted… and the full dose I injected now… will keep you in your human form for at least five hours, and that’s plenty of time to deal with you. It regrettably won’t paralyze you, but it will provide us just enough time to torture you as a _genuine human_. Your regeneration won’t be of much use… no matter how good or fast it is. Because, mind you… those two are the fastest people in the whole Legion - and they won’t hesitate to shred you to pieces.” 

“Oh, I have no doubt about that,” Christiana smiled. “But let me warn you in advance. I shall crush all your skulls in and smear you all like stains once I am out of these.” She shook her shackles again. “And I will get out of them. Sooner than you think. It’s just a matter of time. ”

The images of killed comrades from the North Unit rushed back to my mind. They died this morning thanks to this vile bitch, and now when she threatened that she would do the same to Levi, or Hanji, I felt somewhat… well, the word “irritated” doesn’t cover it. She’s hit the nerve. 

“Levi,” I said softly, and he simply nodded. He pulled Hanji’s arm and led her out.

“We will wait until you call for us, Schwarz.” 

“Much appreciated.” I pulled the knife out of my sleeve, and waited for them to shut the iron door behind. Then, I turned towards Christiana. 

“Now… where were we?”  

For the first time since I appeared in her cell, Christiana Fitzgerald’s expression got completely serious.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

She acted according to plan. 

She used the advantage of us being alone, and shoved her abilities first-handed. I wasn’t surprised, I expected she would pull off something like that. Despite Hanji’s serum, she managed to use her strength and she broke the shackles in a fast, raw motion. I wasn’t aware that she could bend the iron that easily… but she did, and attacked me straight after that. 

The first strike sent me into the nearest wall, and my back heavily hit the cold stone. It was painful and I really had to ask myself just how much damage am I able to take. Moreover, she kicked me in the stomach using her leg and then hit my head with her fist. My lip tore and the metallic taste of my own blood filled my mouth. I felt my jaw going numb, and I spat the blood out and quickly got on my feet, knowing that if I kept lying down any further, I wouldn't be able to get up. I had to make myself stand up. I was still disoriented when she turned towards the exit, deciding to take a chance with Levi and Hanji… so I rose, focused my vision, and threw the knife as precisely as I could in the given moment. Dear God. It's been a while since I used the blades this way, I might miss the target and make a fool out of myself. 

Vladimir would mock me for the rest of my life, or give me some gibberish, grumpy lesson about rusty reflexes and how I need to stay in form. To Hell with him.  

The blade pierced her through the left spatula, going deep into her flash. The blood splattered around, and she left out a small scream. While she was trying to reach for the hilt and pull it out, I jumped towards her and used my legs to trip her and throw her on the ground. Then, I placed a heavy, hard punch into her stomach, and prevented her from getting up by sitting on her. I hit her in the face, just to get back to her for hitting me in the first place. I’ve removed the gloves and the apron, because they were on my way. Screw the "remain clean" rule. I _wanted_ to get dirty this time. 

The next blow I placed hurt me instead, because she did something quite un-expecting. 

She managed to form a hard tissue over her own skin. A tissue that I recognized as form of a titan-armor. My knuckles were bruised now, and the blood was dripping from cuts where my kin tore. My fingers were now covered with my own blood. I was bruised, I knew that much… and I was aware that it should hurt… it was supposed to hurt… but somehow, I didn’t feel the pain. Not yet anyway. 

I just… hit her the hardest I could and managed to turn her head aside. I pulled the blade from my left boot and forcefully shoved it into her torso. The blade got deep, and far into her body. The scream was synchronous with the wound, and she kept screaming. 

The armor didn’t cover that area, so she cried loudly, and I could tell that she was in great pain… but I knew that I have to act quickly before she forms another armor-like tissue all over again. She pulled my hair and made quite a mess out of it. I could have sworn that I was bleeding again now - and I take it very personally when someone touches my hair. So instinctively, I gouged her left eye out, using only my thumb. I was surprised how her screams didn't make Hanji or Levi show up by now, because if I were them, I would be interested to see what's happening in the cell and rush in. I am lucky to have them as partners in this. 

“You are full of surprises, Christiana,” I gasped, twisting the hilt into her abdomen. Tears and blood mixed down her cheeks, and she was holding her sobs. She tried to over-throw me, but even her strength… wasn’t all so great anymore. I was right. She had one shot to pull herself out and escape before Hanji’s new serum completely prevents all her abilities. 

“And so are you, Ezra. I should have known that you did this on purpose. You lured me straight into a trap. Yet another trap.” 

That, I did. She had one chance to walk past me… and she didn’t use it well. She inhaled deeply. She wasn’t resisting anymore, or trying to fight back. I pulled the collar of her shirt and made her get up. Then, I threw her back into her chair. I found new shackles and put them on her wrists, purposely locking them where I knew they would bruise her. 

“I wouldn’t celebrate my victory too soon, Corporal. You may have me, but this is not over,” she warned. 

“Oh, it’s far from over, Christiana. We have barely just begun,” I whispered. She still has a lot of information to reveal, and I know plenty of ways to squeeze it out of her.

“All right. But, you need to know one thing before we proceed. People that you are working with, and this new Queen you have pledged your loyalty and your skills to... they are all keeping things from you. They are _all_ liars. You can not trust them. _You, of all people_.”

“Nice try,” I said. But the fact that Albert, who wasn't even from the same faction as Christiana and who didn't work with her, claimed the same thing... made me wonder.

Well, there will be plenty of time for that later. First things first.


	25. Bitter End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are still into Christiana's interrogation, but someone makes a special appearance :)
> 
>  _ **The tables (might) have turned.**_
> 
> This chapter on DA: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Bitter-End-pt-25-557530632?ga_submit_new=10%253A1442277219&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1

LANCE CORPORAL - Bitter End (pt. 25)  
by galateabellator, 1 week, 6 days ago  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Drama

**_Warning: This chapter includes scenes of violence and gore, though I am not sure it deserves a mature filter. Also, it contains a lot of swearing, in standard EZRA way. xD_ **

**PART 25 - BITTER END - Levi x OC**

Blood was dripping from my clothes, from my face… but it wasn’t mine. I smeared the light red dots from my forehead and focused on the subject before me. It was never an easy job to torture someone, especially if that someone was once a close friend and a trusted companion. But hey… when the time requires, I am all professional and shit. For humanity.

As required of me, I‘ve stuck the blade into her. Again. The scream echoed throughout the cell - it was a loud one, a strong one, and even if she tried not to let it out… her tone suggested that she was in the deepest agony yet. I am not gonna lie, I was glad. There was something about her affliction that made me feel… really satisfied. Vladimir is probably right… I am sadist to the core. 

I haven’t reached her critical points yet, just those that would give her an extreme amount of pain… for my orders were to keep her alive after all. And I live to serve. 

She raised her head towards me. Her grimace was no longer the one of mockery, or triumph. She gave up on threats too… but still clung to insults. I couldn’t blame her the slightest.

“You are definitely… the craziest… _bitch_ … I’ve ever met… and I’ve had… my fair… share of crazy…” she whispered, having difficulty to speak because she was in a bad shape. I allowed her a brief moment of relief. She was desperately gasping for air, her breathing was intense. Though she still wasn’t able to fully regenerate the gouged eye (the eyeball had already formed back, but her pupil wasn’t there) she could perfectly use it to cry. So, I made her cry a lot. The area around her eyes turned red, because of all those salty tears that were flowing down her cheeks. She withheld a sob. 

“You are really… enjoying this, aren’t you?” she asked, choking onto her words. 

“Just doing my job,” I shrugged my shoulders. She _did_ try to resist, and I really appreciated the effort. She almost turned the table down only by using her legs, and tried to use her shackles to suffocate me. Pretty old trick, but it was the only one she could pull off in that moment. She should have known better, though.

“Your… job… yeah… right.” She spat, and the blood came rushing from her mouth. She couldn’t move - both of her palms were now pinned down to the wooden surface of the table. I pierced them both with my blades, and left them dug deep into her flesh (and probably in parts of her bones). She was screaming, but that pain was nothing compared to what I did later. I’ve beaten her hard; her body was now covered in swellings and bruises, and in some pretty nasty cuts. Some of them still very fresh and still bleeding. I made an artwork.  

“Is this… because… I wounded your big ego? Because I… lied to you… and managed to… deceive… one of the best… among the best?” 

I was staring at her, playing with blood-soiled blade in my left arm. I remained silent. I kept observing her, so she kept talking. When she was talking, I wasn’t torturing her, and she was aware that she should keep the conversation going in order to prevent further agony. And so… I let her. After all, I have time. 

“It is, isn’t it? I was right… under your nose… all of this time… and I lied to your face… and you can’t handle it. The all mighty Ezra Schwarz. The essence of the West Unit, the strongest soldier in the western sector. A leader… someone that inspires profound admiration in the Scouting Legion. Someone strong and impressive. Someone stoic and calm…”

I slapped her across the face, and silenced her. I was enjoying that silence for a moment. She seemed genuinely surprised. I spoke first.  
   
“Flattery won’t work… nor will the sarcasm.”

Her nose was bleeding now, and she spat the blood on the floor along with one of her teeth. She was chocking and fought to breathe through all of it. 

“I swear… when I am out of this...” Well, then. Guess we are back to threats and mocks. 

“When you are out, it will be either in shackles… or dead. Your choice. However, we have to clarify a few things beforehand”. 

On sight of my new knife, pulled from my left boot, her eyes widened and the fear painted her face. I cupped her jaw, forcefully digging my fingers into it. I felt like I could just crack it and see whether she would be able to heal or not. I traced her face with the tip of my knife, leaving a deep scar on her cheek, and she started yelling again. The blood covered my hand and I frowned. She was resisting the urge to scream - but she failed. Miserably. 

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” she was now shaking, and was in panic. She knew what this meant… if she hadn’t asked me to stop, I would’ve started to peel her face off. 

If, by any chance, Vladimir was there in that moment… he would probably state that flaying was just another form of art - and probably tease me about being a good artist in that category. He loved to remind me of the monster within me - like I could forget it even if I wanted to. 

“Stop it…” she whispered. _Right about time_.

“You managed to deceive me, but there are only a few ways you could do that. _One_ of them is emotional manipulation, which was cleverly used on your part. Kudos.” I praised. She deserved it. 

“You were desperate for someone to scratch above the surface. To peek behind those high walls you’ve set around you. You wanted someone to make an effort, to look past the image of a harsh woman you presented yourself to be… yet you are emotional, and you are fragile. No one could see you as well as I did.”

“Lucky me. Now, when we put all the emotional attachment aside… let me analyze the way you tricked me.” I played with the blade, making it rotate in the air, then catching the hilt before it hit the floor. 

”It’s pretty challenging task to lie to a trained spy, so you were either trained in espionage as well, or there was yet another way. Or both.”

She gulped. “I was trained to cover my tracks. To fake my emotions. To live by the rules within the Walled World, as long as they don’t compromise my mission.”

“Yet there’s something more… about _the way_ you lied. It worked with me because you based it on truth.” I was certain of it. 

“That’s true. In a way, I was telling you the truth, so you couldn’t tell that I was faking something. When I was telling you that I am there for you, I believed it. When I was there to support you, I wanted to be by your side and see how you were working. Or thinking. I was trying to get the best position, and there wasn’t any better than being your right hand. When I told you that I was your friend, I actually needed to know more about you. I needed to see how you were. The best lies are those which are half true… or, at the very least… truthful.” 

Hah. Aurora would be so proud of this bitch, for this was the first rule about telling lies. I kept looking my former squad mate, and said nothing. That inspired her to continue.

“It must have hurt you badly… this revelation. Was your small, black heart broken, Corporal?”

I’ve crossed my arms, and sat in front of her. “Oh, sure, you got me good. But my… small, black heart has this convenient characteristic. _It mends when I am frustrated._ It hardens. When I am hurt, I have this desire to retaliate, and as you know… my retaliations are usually quantified. Revenge feeds me, and moves me forward. I don’t stay broken for long.”

I smacked her across the face, and added yet another bruise to it. “All I can think about is this… anger you left me with. I don’t know what to do to make it go away.” 

I slammed her face into the surface of the table. Something cracked. 

“AHHHH!”

“See? I hoped this would help. But somehow…” I’ve pierced the blade into her leg, “… it still doesn’t.”

“AAAAAAH! **YOU REALLY HAVE ISSUES, BITCH!** ”

Can’t argue with that.  

“I know.” The perks of being one of the leaders in the Scouting Legion, and being raised by thugs and assassins. Never gets old, even if I do. 

“You… are _savage_ … moody... deranged… dangerous… unable to have normal relationships… a sociopath… probably a psychopath as well…” 

I pulled her hair again and made her face me. 

“True. I am, quite possibly, the most dangerous person to be by your side right now.”

“Infamous… for your capacity of violence,” her voice broke.

“Let’s talk about _you_ , I know _exactly_ how I am.”

“You already know more than you should, Corporal,” she had to get all witty with me.

“Suit yourself.” 

I broke her right arm. The screams, and the crying continued. I have pierced her lungs, and her abdomen. Several times. I missed those critical, vital points intentionally, but sliced her, multiple times, and left deep incisions. Her regeneration didn’t work, not yet, and this way… if I don’t control my own impulses, I might end up killing her simply because I can. She seemed to share this opinion too. Hence… 

“Stop it! Stop it, I will tell you everything! Everything you need to know… I will… I will cooperate…”

She was ready to talk now… but, in all honesty… _I wasn’t_. 

“Oh, Christiana. I _insist_ that you keep your mouth shut… just for a while longer.” 

“No, no, NO! **PLEASE! NO!** ”

\- - - - - - - - - - - 

After about twenty minutes later, she was almost unconscious.

“When you are ready to talk…” I’ve wiped the blood from my blades. Out of a pure spite, she lasted for a few moments longer… until I started flaying the skin on her arm. Then, she completely lost it and started sobbing, yelling and was getting a hysterical attack. This was what I was waiting for.

“YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, YOU STUPID WH*RE! YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING!” she was screaming into my face, and I felt like I was standing next to some rabid dog. 

“Won’t I.” I remained calm once again, and kept removing her skin.

“I WILL PEEL OFF THAT FACE OF YOURS AND WEAR IT LIKE A MASK! YOU WILL BE MY TROPHY!” 

“My face is _that_ good? I had no idea! Oh, Christiana… I appreciate the compliment, but I am into guys.” 

She kept threatening, kept talking about some gore, vivid scenarios she planned for me, all of them illogical and shit. Speaking of guys…

“Why did you kill Hans?” was the first thing I really wanted to know in this interrogation. She was trying to inhale and she was having some kind of seizure. I let her calm down. I stopped moving the blade. 

“Speak, Christiana.” 

“Don’t. Don’t you _dare_ … to make this about him…” the words were barely audible, and she still had this urge to defy me, despite her position. 

“But _it is_ about him, you selfish piece of shit. He was _in love_ with you, he would do just about anything for you!” I was getting pissed off. This was personal on so many levels, that even when I did my best to stay objective… I just couldn’t. “He was loyal. He was honest. He loved you.” 

“Precisely. He did… and I was starting to get… tired of his devotion. Tired of his love. It made me… stir from my course.” She didn’t sound as cold as her words were supposed to seem. She wasn’t tired of his love, _she was afraid it would change her_. Permanently. 

“Besides… in the moment he found out I was a shifter… he was trying to get to _you_. He was convinced that you would understand. He really believed that you would help me, that we could tell you and trust you with my secret. That fool really thought that you would be able to forgive me, and that you would figure out some way to extract me from the HQ.” 

She sighed, heavily, and looked up into the ceiling. “He was romantic, idealistic fool.” She swallowed, and tried to maintain the façade. To pretend that she was scornful towards her former lover. “And he stood in my way. So, you see… I had no choice - he was stubborn, and I was running out of time. Things got out of control. Before I knew…”

“…you shoved the blade into his heart,” I stated what we both already knew. 

Despite her attempted mockery… despite her harsh words and calling him a fool… it hurt her. It was written all over her face. His death wasn’t intended, nor was her loss. She was crying now. Those were bitter tears, bitter sobs… and through that despair and anger, she whispered: 

“It was more an instinct than anything else. I had to kill him, and trust me when I say that… it hurts me more than it hurts you. Despite everything… _I loved him back_.”

You don’t say. “What a fabulous way to show it. I appreciate the symbolism, the heart and all.”

I must have struck the nerve. 

“Shut up, you egoistic bitch! Don’t presume that you know anything about us! His death was your fault! I kept telling him, kept saying that we shouldn’t trust you, but do you know what? He didn’t want to listen! He had this stupid, blind faith in you, faith that you would make things right, and nothing I said could make that fool change his mind. Not even when I told him to play along and point onto Albert instead. He should have accepted the plan. He should have blamed damn Albert, and set him up. He should have kept his mouth SHUT! If he did, he would still be fucking ALIVE!”

Hot tears slide down her face, again. She was helpless… and shattered. Thanks to me.   
   
“He would be alive _if you hadn’t pierced him right through his chest_ , you pathetic wimp. Tell yourself whatever you want, but the truth is still the same. _He is dead because of you_ , regardless of how the events might have turned. I may be guilty for a lot of unspeakable things, but that sin, that death - is solely on you. As you are aware.” 

She shook her head violently, like in denial.

“And just so you know… if things went his way, I might have even tried to save you. If you were straightforward and told me the truth, like he advised, I might have even helped you. You know I am not a conventional woman. I don’t always follow the rules, procedures, or expected patterns. But you chose your own methods, which brought you straight to this chair. And you only have yourself to blame.” 

I let those words sting her. Nothing hurts more than a raw, cruel truth, spoken in the right time. But this was still far from over. I still needed answers. Onto work, then. 

“Who are you working for?” 

She shook her head again. I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t make me mutilate you. The serum has almost stopped your regeneration, your eye hasn’t recovered in a really, really long time – which is a bad sign. For you, I mean. And if we know Hanji well… as we both do… we know that she has added some weird, extra-shit in the mixture. If it’s strong enough, you might never get your body parts back.” 

I took the pliers from the leather, black bag that contained various torture devices… and approached her. “I am willing to test the theory.”

“No, no, no… no! Wait! WAIT! EZRA, PLEASE!”

“Come again?”

“My faction… my faction… are people from beyond the Wall…”

“Not enough.” 

“Wait… wait… please…” she was terrified, because she knew I wasn’t bluffing, “… I will talk. Please…”

I made a brief pause. “I am all ears.”

“I am originally from the interior of Wall Sina. From Orvud district. It’s the truth, I swear! That’s… that’s why you were buying the story, it was the truth… Ezra… I swear! My family… everything I said… was truthful. To the slightest detail. I had a big family. A lot of sisters, a brother, a large household. We were from the Walled World, but we were casted out.”

“By whom?” My guts were telling me that I already knew the answer.

“By the Government, and the Reiss family. We had knowledge about the outside world, and we shared it with common people. The Government didn’t like it. It was considered a grave crime back then, so they punished my family by throwing us out through the Underground tunnels that led outside. Some people that heard our story were spared, but their memories were altered. Not my family, though. They left us to die, and titans were about to devour us… but the faction came just in time to save us. As you can imagine, I became titan shifter because I wanted retaliation. Revenge.”

A motive I could understand. “Which had something to do with exploring the Walled World. You had the power to destroy us before, but you didn’t use your titan powers to do so. Instead, you infiltrated the ranks and waited. You were investigating our archives, and the woman named Vasilisa. Why?”

“I wanted to use her as a way to show the Reiss family in their true light. I wanted to expose them for who they truly are. Usurpers and deceivers, who got the power of the first King in dishonest way.” She inhaled deeply. Then, she continued. 

“Vasilisa Vojislavljević was a Southern Slav. A woman of great strength who worked against the authorities, and for the sake of humanity. She wanted to establish democracy instead of monarchy, and insisted that people need to have their freedom of choice - not to be ruled by dynasty. She has discovered about the true royal bloodline behind Fritz. However, her rebellion was put to an end, and according to my sources, she had to flee…” 

Yeah, yeah… no wonder why Vladimir loved that lady so much. She sounded inspiring and all, but I had other questions for my prisoner.  

“Let me stop you there.” I leaned onto the edge of the table. “I don’t give a shit about some stupid rebellion that happened twenty years ago, nor do I care what happened to some random woman. I want to know about present. About you. Is your faction aligned with the Ape Titan?”

She was somewhat shocked by how I interrupted her. She hesitated before answering. 

“Yes. He works with my people. I could even say that in a way… he leads us. But are you sure that Vasilisa… and her story… don’t matter to you? After all…”

“No. Why do you have such a good regeneration comparing to other shifters? You claim you are better than Bertholdt, Reiner, or Annie. You despise them, which means that, in a way, you believe you are stronger than them. Better than them. That they are flawed comparing to you. Hanji’s tests showed that you have fast regeneration, and we both know that you can form an armor, even in your human state. I have never seen something like that before, so explain to me… how is that even possible?”

Christiana’s sudden smile was creepy, and crooked. “Because I have had better treatment comparing to people from other factions. The reason why I heal so fast… my strength, my speed, my armor… are all product of binary abilities. I have special set of skills, because I am no ordinary type. I am not… _singular_ like those brats.” 

“You have… double transformation,” I concluded. That was the first time that I was seriously surprised by her words. “Two ways to transform, so... two shifter bodies, all the reasons why you have increased strength, speed, and healing ability.”

She smiled again. “Bravo, Ezra! You got it right. I am super-shifter, an advanced type, and it’s going to be one Hell of a swing when I come for you, Corporal. My immunity will soon find a way to fight the damn serum, and soon… it won’t matter what I have revealed to you or not. You will all be dead, like you all damn deserve.” 

It all happened fast. I have pulled Christiana’s hair, and pressed the blade against her neck.

“Or I will just kill you right here, right now, and save this precious little world from crumbling.”

In the same time, the door opened, and a whole bunch of people entered the cell. The tallest three were Vladimir, Erwin and Aurora, followed by Hanji, and then by Levi... and finally, by the shortest little blonde that I’ve seen thrice in my life, but who was a big deal in the Walled World right now. 

“Lower your blade, Corporal Schwarz…” her voice was soft, but her pale, blue eyes glowed with fierce passion of a recent-found power, “…your Queen commands you.”

Historia Reiss was standing before me, all strict and serious, while my hand was still on the verge of slicing Christiana’s throat. One quick move, and it will all be over.

She might be the Queen… but I have the power to take this life. 

_Guess it’s up to me._


	26. Pieces Of A Puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **If you are confused, they all did a good job.**   
>  Also on DeviantArt: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Pieces-Of-A-Puzzle-pt-26-566611136?ga_submit_new=10%253A1448463949

LANCE CORPORAL - Pieces Of A Puzzle (pt. 26)  
by galateabellator, Oct 16, 2015, 7:36:55 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Drama

_Warning: This chapter may contain minor violent scenes and a lot of swearing._

**PART 26 - PIECES OF A PUZZLE- Levi x OC**

_Killing was so easy, so natural that it almost felt like some sort of purification to me. Like I was cleansing, and being cleansed of filth of the world while doing so._

_My eyes met Levi’s, his gaze was fixed on my own. I knew then… that he wouldn’t interfere. He wouldn’t try to stop me, not for Historia, and not for anyone. He knew me all too well to try._

_Vladimir, on the other hand, was amused. He was the only person who could instantly read through me by taking one look, and he could tell exactly what was happening inside of me. He always did. And in that moment, his eyes were smiling, even if his lips weren’t._

__**I thought that you were gone, your Majesty…**_ _

_She has never left to begin with, she was just hiding, so skillfully and so deceitfully that I have almost fooled myself into believing that she has entirely disappeared. That she was replaced by someone better, someone who, although wretched, was at least decent. Hell, I hoped to be better Ezra than she ever was, so I lived up to be… almost honorable. Almost moral._

_So, I loathed her as much as I needed her, that infamous Queen of Spades. A fifteen year old brta whose killing record almost matched full-grown assassins of the Underground, and whom I suppressed for the longest part of my adult life, hoping to never need her again._

_Until now. That little bitch was taking over, and she wasn’t exactly famous for being merciful._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Christiana’s terrified eyes reflected my image, and I almost couldn’t recognize myself.   
   
There is something awfully intimate between the killer and its victim in that deciding moment of taking a life. It’s the connection I will never be able to fully explain, but it’s there, every time I go against a human being. I love the thrill of the moment where I hold the ultimate power, that petrified look in the eyes of person who wronged me so badly that I have to end his/hers existence in order to make things right and set the scales in balance again. 

I didn’t care about the little blonde Queen… or my superior officers and colleagues. Honestly, I didn’t give a shit about orders, or their latent attempts to stop me. I was in a dark corner of my mind where I fought a battle against my oldest enemy. Me. 

It wasn’t all about taking Christiana’s life because she has betrayed me… as much as it was about protecting the damn world. In a way, she threatened everyone’s existence, including my own, and that’s enough to pull the killer-trigger in me. I mean… I am not a hero or anything, but her being able to transform into two titan forms was bad enough as it is. We wouldn’t stand a chance if she breaks free or if we spare her – and she was abundantly clear about wanting to destroy us all. 

Her pulse was beating under my hand, and I could feel her trembling. She was afraid now. My blade was still pressed against her neck, and she was breathing heavily. Waiting for me to make a move. It must have been very intense to go through such an ordeal. 

I was breathing heavily too. All those people staring at me, at us… waiting… I had to take a deep breath and decide what to do. I closed my eyes. My heart was beating loudly, and pretty fast, and everything… the darkness, the blackness behind my eyelids… turned red. I closed them harder. My hand slid, and the blade pierced the skin. There was something artistic in cutting, in that single, yet powerful move that decides whether the person lives or dies. The blood flew, and drops landed on my hands, my face, painting me red. Her olive eyes stared at me, and they were empty… empty like the eyes of her former lover… Hans. It felt like justice. It felt… like I needed to do it. 

Loud cling made me open my eyes, and only then, I’ve realized that I have dropped the knife, and released Christiana from my grip. 

I didn’t do it because Historia Reiss asked me to. I did it for myself. Have I not… I might have gave in to that monster I was trying so hard to run away from. Ezra Schwarz… back then… was really good at killing those who wronged her. This time… my-sweet-Corporal-self chose to let her live. For the time being, anyway. Am I not peachy? 

For better or for worse, Christiana produced a loud gasp. She was holding her breath the whole time, so after her realization that I wouldn’t slit her throat, she felt relieved… and she  started sobbing again, because she wasn’t able to hold it anymore. I was so done with her shit, with everyone’s shit, and needed to get out or go upstairs to get some sleep or something. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When the initial shock passed, I have reported in short what I have learned while they weren’t present. After finishing it, I have approached the petite blonde, and faced her with strictness. She was a brat to me, brat like anyone else from Levi’s new squad. And if she gets too comfortable around me, I will smack her in the face, regardless of her newly-given titles. Therefore, I have faced her without fear. I am stupid in all that fearlessness, I should have been very afraid. 

“I hope you know what you are doing. Because if this back-fires, I won’t be the one who’s responsible, and you won’t get to pin it on me.”

“I am aware, Corporal,” the goddess-blondie answered, and made a step towards me to show that she wasn’t afraid of me either.

“Then consider yourself fairy warned, little Queen,” I crossed my arms on my chest. “With each passing moment, Fitzgerald’s immunity builds defense against Squad Leader Zoe’s serum. We might have missed our only chance.”

“I will hold this responsibility, in the same manner like you held your own,” Historia said, and offered her hand to me. I was staring at it. Was she expecting me to kiss it, or something? I didn’t get even remotely close to a king or a queen before, I don’t know how the shitty protocol goes in this situation. 

I hesitated, but then offered my own to her, and she smiled as she took it and shook it. I was confused. A hand-shake with the Monarch of the Walls, now that’s something I shall drink to later in some petty pub. I will. 

She kept smiling at me. “Thank you for putting the Walled World first. I am aware of your urge to kill this prisoner, and it is justified in every possible way. However, we still need additional answers, and we will get them one way or another.” 

I have just nodded. I didn’t know what else to say or do, really. Historia turned towards the tortured officer and spoke to her next. 

“Christiana Fitzgerald... if that’s your real name… I want to say something and I hope you will listen. Everything that happened tonight… this morning… could have been avoided. However, the course of actions that was taken can’t change. It resulted in situation that’s quite difficult for you. So, in order to spare your life, we need you to talk, and we need you to tell us the whole truth.” 

Christiana chuckled through her sobs. “Hahah! HAHAHAH, YOU FOOL! I have already told you everything you needed to know. You shall all die. You will DIE, by my own hands.”

“I understand your resentment. Your need to get your revenge. But my uncle had his reasons for expelling your family from the Walled World, and I won’t question his decisions. I will not apologize either for something that I didn’t personally do. I will apologize for my actions instead. You need to know that sins of my ancestors aren’t my own, and that I do not and shall not rule in the same, cruel manner that the old Kings used. I want peace, and I want truce with your race. If you feel the same way, maybe we could find a common ground…” 

Christiana’s face was an expression of true rage. “There won’t be any kind of truce! Even your own line of kings… who carry the will of the first king… they have all had one goal! To see humanity perish till the very end! Because humans are culpable and can’t be redeemed, and that includes you, you filthy Reiss bitch! There you are, acting all high and mighty, and you haven’t even been a Queen for two months! You aren’t even the real deal! Jaeger carries the power! And once we take it, let me tell you that I will have your head on a spike and parade it while I am turning your kingdom of stone into a bundle of ash! You are all DOOMED and I will make sure…” 

“You will make sure to shut your mouth while you still can, Fitzgerald… and open it solely if you have information that will benefit humanity,” a soft, soothing voice interrupted her monologue, and small, gracious steps were heard as Major was walking towards us. She kept her voice down, and it was still more powerful than any words Christiana produced in all of her yelling. 

“Major Amsel, I have almost forgotten about your obnoxious existence. I have hoped that I have crushed you to death, but alas, you are alive.”

“I am a hard woman to kill.”

“Unlike your squad members.”

“Or your lover, from what I hear.” 

“SHUT UP! Don’t even try to get into my head. You might be good at mind games, but you won’t…” Christiana begun, but Aurora interrupted her immediately. She had a lot to say. 

“You were buying time up to now, putting your hopes in whatever ability you were counting on from that set of skills that makes you so unique. You were also confident that your last few accomplices from the Military Police or the Garrison would come to your aid, wrongly convinced that we, the Scouting Legion, were majorly distracted by primarily targeting shifters. You expected that we didn’t look for human assets that worked with you, but know this… we took care of all of them. You are truly, completely on your own, and your allies turned their back on you.”

“Whoa, whoa, Major... you are going too far with the assumption that I’d include some stupid soldiers…” Christiana wanted to fake confidence again, but this time she sounded nervous. 

“Cut it. You’ve had accomplices from our sectors that weren’t shifters, but were committed to your investigation. I know you weren’t acting all on your own. We caught them though, thanks to cadet Arlert’s fast deductions, and operations of Levi’s squad. We have them in custody. Unlike you, they had no special powers to hide behind. In this moment, that power that you are so proud of, the power of an Advanced Shifter, is beyond your own grasp too… so, think carefully. They sold you out easily once they were caught, and quite frankly, none of them even hesitated. Their stories matched. I know you were after the power of the first King, but you weren’t sure who held it, so you’ve made some pretty thorough research on the Reiss line because you were sure that some of them had to possess it. You have even gotten so far to look into broader family circle, their distant cousins and relatives, also their partners and business associates, as well as their acquaintances. It took years, but you have dug deep. You have broken into well-guided archives of the Utopia District, and also into Capital’s library by help of your associates from the Military Police. You used the info left from the Grand Rebellion to complete the records you have already had, and out of some reason, you have even looked into Underground district information, going after the Shadow Killer, and a civil woman named Vasilisa Vojislavljević. Damn, that's one long last name, so let's just call her Vasilisa. Now, Fitzgerald. You better finally start telling everything you know, or think you know that might be of some use to us. Because, shifter or not, you aren’t irreplaceable, nor you are the most valuable that we have in custody. I will make sure that you get executed before the lunch is served if the info you provide turns useless.” 

Christiana was biting her lips now. “You are bluffing.”

Aurora smiled. “Am I, now?” she has thrown the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. 

“Why were you trying to read about Vasilisa?” Vladimir’s hoarse voice resonated through the cell. She didn’t respond, so he continued instead. “The information from the archives, that are about her… were written in Cyrillic. Southern Slavic letters, to be precise. Don’t tell me that you had figured a way to read and write the language all on your own.” 

Christiana grimaced now. “I didn’t. I tried to translate it, but that gibberish was so damn hard, that I have barely figured anything from what was written.”

Vladimir started moving through the cell. “Here it goes. This is how we play this game. You tell me what you know of her, and I tell you what I know in return.” 

“How could possibly someone like you know anything about her?” 

“Because I wrote all that gibberish that you can’t figure out,” he grinned. Yeah. I’ve read that gibberish once, and I must say, it was long and pretty detailed. He gave that to me after I joined the North Unit and started working with Aurora. Lisa meant the world to him. He rarely spoke of her, but he wore her in his heart like a scar, a wound that has never healed, not after all of these years. And despite having so many women that he has been involved with, he has never completely gotten over Lisa. According to him, she was passionate. Bright. Fearless. Decisive. Full of love for humans. 

And dead before her time. 

“She was one of the leaders of the rebellion, along with the Shadow Killer. They teamed up after they found about the Reiss family from my own, and considered a great injustice that Ackermans were prosecuted and hunted. They thought that people, the civilians… need to know the truth. That there shouldn’t be… a monarchy, but democratic system in its place. They were also outraged with the fact that whole families were cast out, or shoved into the Underground district for simply knowing this fact. The rebellion also featured the whole bunch of people from Mitras that believed in their cause. However, the Reiss family had spies too, so… an infiltration was cleverly done. They acted from the inside of the very heart of the rebellion… and they caught Lisa. Back then, there was a claim on the throne from another Reiss, a very distant relative of Uri and Rod. The story goes… that he had an equal right to claim the throne, I am not sure if this was true, but he believed it. He supposedly wanted the crown for himself, so he participated in the rebellion too, and was an ally to Lisa.”

“His name was Alexander,” Regulus announced. His tone was cold. 

“Yes. Alexander Reiss. Well… some of his own people betrayed him by supporting Rod’s claim. Back then, Rod was supposed to take the crown, but Uri took it instead. Shortly after, Alexander went off with Lisa and hid her somewhere in Mitras. The Shadow Killer fled into the Underground district. What’s left of their allies scattered - and just like that, the rebellion was crushed by the mighty fist of the Reiss. Alexander was caught and killed. For unknown reasons, Lisa was spared, left alive, but kept in custody. Then, she escaped, and fled into the Underground district too… but in the end…”

“In the end, she was killed,” Vladimir said, and Christiana widened her eyes.

“I have heard that she was sold…”

“… and that she was alive? Hahah, if only. She was murdered. Kenny slit her throat like he would slice through butter, and I couldn’t do a damn thing.”

He has unbuttoned his shirt, revealing three shot-mark scars in his chest, along with pile of cuts that must have hurt like Hell. The shooting marks matched the flogging scars on his back, and dead meat felt hard under fingers. I knew because I have touched his scars a few times, after hugging him.

“But… why would Kenny…” Hanji started, looking at Levi, and then looking at me, “do such a thing? What was his interest in killing her?” 

Levi was pale. He looked tired, drained, and really serious. He wasn’t looking at me at all, and I thought that he might have gotten sick or something. It was unlike him, but after all, both of us were awake the whole night. Maybe he was just… sleep deprived as well. 

Vladimir answered. “Kenny said that he had to do it. He was ordered to hunt her down and kill her, for she knew about the family, and supported Alexander’s claim. He even told me not to hold a grudge, for it wasn’t personal. For him, it was just a job. He also said that if I survive… that I could go after him and try to get my revenge. Naturally… it didn’t end well. Don’t get me wrong, it was tight, and I almost had him… my good old friend Kenny… but in the end… the Shadow Killer wasn’t able to defeat the Ripper, so… despite my strength, or my skills, I couldn’t kill that bastard in the end and was left at his mercy. This cheeky brat saved me and I am in his debt for it.”

The cheeky brat was Levi, who was just a boy when Kenny made him witness some of his horrid killer-sprees. He used to teach Levi how the world works, and what he must do in order to survive. 

Vladimir hasn’t made it easier either, he was chasing Kenny for years to kill him but failed. Partially because the two were friends. Vladimir almost… wanted Kenny to kill him once he missed his chance to avenge Lisa. But Levi asked Kenny to stop. To spare him. And ever since, Vladimir was in his debt. He didn’t like it, but at least, he was alive. 

“For all these reasons, I have cast away that stupid nickname… and became Regulus.”

“Wait… you were the Shadow Killer? WHY ARE YOU ON THEIR SIDE?” Christiana was furious now, and she wanted to get up from her chair so badly, that her chains rattled as she moved. 

“I am not on anybody’s side but my own, girl. I have never gave a shit about that rebellion. Monarchy, democracy, it’s all the same to me. I didn’t really care. All I cared for, was her. And once they tore her from my chest, I couldn’t care less about whose ass warms the damn chair or who rules over this petty world. The sole reason I have never pursued Uri or Rod, was that irony that neither one really ordered Lisa’s elimination.” 

“You mean…” Christiana was almost disappointed. She didn’t have proof that heroic figure that fought for civilians like Lisa was executed by Historia’s family, hence she couldn’t do a real damage to her and make people understand the cruelty of that family. 

“It was ordered by Rod’s supporters. Lesser players I took care of once I have gotten their names,” Vladimir said. I have leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. “Now girl… is there anything else we are supposed to know?” 

Christiana looked at everyone in the room. 

“All of this time, you weren’t aware, or you weren’t sure. But you must have noticed, geezer. You claim you loved her. And even you, you fake-shifter Queen, Historia Reiss. You must have thought about it as well!” she chuckled. “Oh, you did! I know you did. It’s almost… funny how the fate plays with us that way.”

“We’ve heard enough,” Historia said.  

“Notice what, Christiana? Don’t speak in riddles or I will kill you where you sit,” I threatened, and she just grinned. Historia was still shocked. Vladimir crossed his arms on his chest. Aurora sighed. Hanji seemed every bit as confused as I was, and Levi gave no reaction at all. 

Erwin spoke after a longer pause. 

“Soldiers. This interrogation will be continued after a private meeting in my office. There’s a matter we need to discuss, so we need to leave prisoner Fitzgerald… but under a heavy guard.” 

“Erwin, come on! She gives you all that crazy jumble, and you all go nuts?! What the Hell is she…”

“You are clueless this time, Schwarz? Well, let me tell you…” Christiana started, but a sudden hit made her lose her conscience, and I have cursed Vladimir for denying me to hear what she was about to say. 

„Зашто си је ударио, проклети старче?!“ I snapped at him, unable to control myself. 

(“Why have you hit her, you damned old man?!”)

„Јер не зна шта прича. А све и да зна... то нећеш чути од ње. Она нема права да то открије.“

(“Because she doesn’t know what she is talking about. And even if she did… what she was about to say, you won’t hear it from her. She has no right to reveal it.”)

“In to common language, please! I don’t understand what you are talking about,” Hanji said. She didn't want to miss a thing, and in her place, I wouldn't want it either.  

“Ezra…” Aurora whispered, “please, let’s take this upstairs.” 

“Stop.” Levi finally moved from his place and stood next to me. “Now when it’s all out… she needs to know,” he said.  

“We can’t be sure,” Vladimir sounded harsh. “After all, that bitch is a liar, and traitor. We shouldn’t really believe anything she says.”

“Sure of what? Believe what?” I demanded. 

“Let’s go upstairs. You need to look into something,” Aurora said. 

“We will also need… to call Eren. If anything… he will help,” Historia suggested.

“Help with what?” 

“Ezra… this is what I was talking about earlier. Back then… before the interrogations started. I suspected that Erwin and Aurora figured something out. Remember?” Levi asked. 

I nodded. I also recalled one eerie sentence. _“Careful with promises, Schwarz. The trick with them is that you might not be able to keep them.”_

He took my hand, and gritted his teeth. 

“What you are about to hear… might change everything for us. Forever.”

I held his own in mine, and squeezed it hard. I was afraid, unlike any other time in my life. However, I said...

“Bring it on.”


	27. Her Majesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **All falls down...**  
>  Also on DeviantArt: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Her-Majesty-pt-27-572163687

LANCE CORPORAL - Her Majesty (pt. 27)  
by galateabellator, 1 week, 3 days ago  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Drama

_Warning: Minor swearing, grand revelations again._

**PART 27 - HER MAJESTY - Levi x OC**

**_\- - - Erwin’s office, present time  - - -_ **

I could have screamed. I could have cried. I could have blamed them, or even blame me, or blame this… horrid revelation - and curse my whole, damned existence in the process. I could have cursed this miserable life, and my so-called-luck. Because if this is considered to be luck, it may also be considered to be rotten to the core. Like my name, or my title, or my heritage. _Like everything else._

I wasn’t throwing a tantrum or anything. The story was pretty difficult to handle, but I remained relatively calm. I wasn’t able to give any kind of reaction in the beginning - I guess I was too shocked, or too numb to react properly. 

I have opened the door out of Erwin’s office and stepped outside. I wasn’t able to look at them anymore. 

Everything that I was… or thought that I was… distorted and made me into someone I wasn’t able to comprehend anymore. There’s limit even to the strongest of us, and only so much that we can take. 

I should have let it all out somehow - my bitterness, my rage, my feeling of helplessness, and that feeling of being done wrong. Could have made some kind of ruckus and act hysterical in order to ease my anger, my disappointment, my feeling of being helpless in front of cruel face of the simplest, yet most painful truth yet. 

However, in reality, I did nothing – well, almost nothing - that little of what I did, was just standing like some kind of pillar, unable to move, or talk, or do anything at all. Except maybe gritting my teeth, and clenching my fists, and feeling something in my throat again that stopped me from talking to them in the first place. I wasn’t able to, because it was choking me. 

He went after me. I wasn’t surprised, but I didn’t want it. Not this time. 

“Ezra…” his hand reached towards me, but I made a step behind. It was spontaneous reaction. I wasn’t thinking, I wasn’t looking at him either. It was almost like I wasn’t able to recognize him. He never felt more distant, and more estranged to me than he was in that moment. And it hurt like Hell. 

Tears begun to flow down my cheeks, despite my best efforts to hold them. The annoying drops of hot liquid made me nictitate my eyelids and made me blink a few times. I wasn’t sobbing, not yet, but I felt like a total fool. And a failure. 

“Ezra…” he repeated.

“You were there… when he…” I uttered, trying to hold my composure. Just for a bit longer. A moment longer, and I would be able to keep my cool. But in the end - I wasn’t able to do that. The revelation was too much.  

I shook my head, and wrapped my own hands around my upper body. Pressing hard into my own skin. Was I trying to… protect myself that way? And from whom - from him? Since when? He was the only one who had my complete and unconditional trust ever since I was a child. But now… 

What a mess. 

“I didn’t know,” he whispered. “I couldn’t be sure. And even if I did…”

He was trying to explain. But nothing he was going to say in that moment could make things better. 

“Hey. I get it,” I interrupted, by lifting my head and finally facing him. His eyes were tired. And sad.

“No, you don’t,” he insisted. “You don’t.” 

“I do, actually. You c-couldn’t help,” I wasn’t trying to stop myself from letting it out anymore, and I felt like I will never be able to stop those tears. “But y-you can h-help me now. By s-staying… aw-away from me…” I whispered, and he leaned towards me. 

Softly. Carefully. Like he knew that I was about to break. Hence… he has touched my shoulder.

“Listen…” his voice was a gentle whisper now. But I couldn’t listen, no matter what words, or what tone he intended to use. It didn’t matter. So, I’ve decided. 

“I… c-can’t do this right now, Levi. I… I n-need to be alone.”

And by saying that, I have turned my back on him, and walked away as far as I could.

**_\- - - Erwin’s office, prior to recent events - - -_ **

Historia was standing next to the window, her figure was bathed in rays of Sun. There was something powerful about that picture, and I had to admit that the little Queen truly had stoic and aristocratic posture for a girl who grew up as a commoner. I guess that goes with the royal blood – despite living in modest conditions, Historia still had that noble aura. 

Erwin was standing in front of the shelf with books. Aurora was on his left and next to his desk. A pile of very large books was there now, and she was leaning onto it with a cigarette between her lips. Vladimir was standing against the wall, with one leg bent, and his arms were crossed on his chest. He removed the Garrison’s jacket he was wearing, and leather piston holsters were visible, as well as his grey shirt, neatly tucked in his trousers. 

Levi was standing next to me, in similar pose to Vladimir’s. Hanji was sitting on the sofa, and she was very quiet and serious… which was first indicator that something is wrong. Moblit joined us in company of Eren Jaeger, much to Historia’s request. 

Erwin made that serious face of his, and spoke to me. 

“This will be a lot to take in, Ezra. Why don’t you take a seat?” 

“Do I look like some fragile damsel that will faint after hearing some bad news, Erwin? Get to the point. I am really starting to get pissed by all of this, so start talking. I don’t understand a damn thing and you all seem to be affected by some insane events and people from twenty years ago. It makes zero sense, and I hate feeling dumb. So, explain it to me already. The sooner, the better.” 

“Before we begin, I need to ask you… one pretty unusual question. Or two.” He was trying to prepare me by being polite. Nothing new there. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, Commander?” 

His piercing blue eyes were dead serious when he spoke. “Have you ever met… a woman named Frieda Reiss?” 

I frowned. “The former Ruler of the Walls? No, not in person. I might have encountered her once or twice, but we have never actually met. Why?” 

“How much do you remember from twenty years ago… if you remember anything at all?” 

“I was four years old. I don’t think that anything I could recall from that time can be of any importance…”

“I will determinate that. What do you remember?” he asked again.

“Let me see. I was abandoned, left in an alley of the Underground City to die. Then, I was rescued and taken care of, as I am sure you all already know, since both of my protectors are in this very room.” 

“Yes. But what about… the events before? What do you remember prior to meeting Levi and Vladimir?” Erwin insisted, and I felt like I was being debriefed. 

“All my memories from before are a mess. Incoherent fragments. Small and insignificant pieces of this and that. But that shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, children don’t really remember much from their earliest days.” 

“You would be surprised,” Levi followed up. “You were that kind of brat who always remembered the smallest of details. Unusually perceptive, and very accurate in descriptions. And always so very observing, which came in handy after you became… well, what you have become. However… the stress and that feeling of abandonment must have made you suppress your earliest memories.” 

“Bullshit,” Vladimir said. “She wouldn’t suppress them. Nor simply forget. That’s not like Ezra.” 

The old grump rose in full height. “She takes it all, no matter how hard the situation is. From her earliest days. I’ve made sure of that, after training her to survive in the Underground. After we both did. She isn’t an escapist.” 

“I know, geezer. But she was just a girl before she started killing in order to survive. She was traumatized,” Levi crossed his own hands now. Eren seemed very confused. 

“What is going on? Is Corporal Schwarz… accused of something?” 

“Beats me. Am I?” I wanted to know too. “Will someone tell me what the Hell is going on, or I have to make some kind of scene before someone decides that my fragile mind would shatter?” 

“I need you to look at this.” Aurora took one of those large books that were stored on the table’s surface. “Read this, please.” 

I flicked through the pages. They were yellowish, dusty, and very old. The ink on the paper has dried a long time ago, and was starting to fade. It contained a set of beautifully formed sentences –the letters were curvy, a tad decorative, and very thin – all in all, pretty elegant. It was some kind of report, made by someone who had pretty fancy handwriting. And it seemed it was someone from the Wall Cult. I have read through first few paragraphs. 

_ **“… because Reiss is one of the oldest families of the three great Walls. Although they are posing as merchants, they are, in fact, true royalty amongst this wonderful world, given to us by the grace of the first King, who is considered to be the God and Creator, therefore the undeniable force not to be reckoned with. We have to respect, love and follow his lead, his will, because… only thanks to his infinite mercy, human kind still prevails. And thanks to his power, we are still alive.** _

_ **However, there are those who doubt that infinite power. Who either fear it, or want to grasp it themselves… for themselves. I have come to realization that not all of the Reiss are pure of intention, and that they aren’t aware of this great responsibility that maintaining the order and balance of our delicate world is.** _

_ **There are those who blaspheme against our God. Those who are close to his circle, from his own blood and flesh, and still dare to question his ways. I have recently met one of them. He goes by the name of Alexander, and he is a foolish young man, arrogant and awfully ambitious. Whether that ambition was developed by him, or by people near him, is not known to me, but I pray that he sees the right way before it’s too late… for God is merciful, but also cruel in his punishment…”** _

“Okay, why am I reading this? We know how this story ended,” I demanded. “I am not interested in some old fool’s gibberish and fanatic memoirs. He is pretty poetic, though.”

“Read further, dear. It should become evident soon,” Aurora said. I kept reading for her sake, but remained pretty unmoved by the words of the religious zealot that had to write down his weird observations.

_ **“I have shared my doubts with master Rod, who insisted that I keep an eye on young master Alexander. There were several of others who were tasked with the same goal, but Alexander spent most of time next to cathedral, so I had the best way to observe his behavior and actions, and his possible treachery.** _

_ **He was pretty usual nobleman who led pretty usual life, until he has fallen for a local girl… a commoner who used to work in a tailor shop - the place where they had this encounter of fate. Afterwards, they were often meeting in the cathedral, holding hands in the name of faith, wearing the Walls-chains around their necks, and wearing the mantles of purity… but I have noticed that they were also holding hands out of their own feelings for each other. She looked like a peaceful and devoted girl who truly believed in power of Walls, but I have learnt much later… that her looks were very much deceiving.** _

_ **Her name was Vasilisa, and she has once lived in the Underground…”** _

“Wait. Vasilisa, as in Vojislavljević? Alexander has fallen in love with her? Come on!” I have raised my eyebrow. “Don’t tell me this whole crap happened because of some pitiful, lovey-dovey...”

“Vasilisa loved Alexander, and sacrificed a lot to be with him. She has even paid the ultimate price for it, so be careful about what you say next,” Vladimir rebelled, not allowing me to finish the damn sentence. 

“I thought they were just… don’t know. Allies?” I said.

“How unusually naïve of you. They were _lovers_ ,” his tone was bitter, and sarcastic. 

“I thought that _you_ and Vasilisa...”

“Just read,” he barked.  

_ **“She was a part of a Slavic tribe from the South that was exiled in the underground. I have found out that she was royalty among their own people, considered an heiress and a queen of some sorts, but her title didn’t mean anything in this world. Alexander fell for her and devoted himself to her, enraging his own father, who claimed that he was destined to become the next King of the Walled World and found his son… pretty disappointing for giving his right up despite having the same chances like Uri or Rod.** _

_ **Because, it’s known that not all the Reiss members can carry the power of the First King. Just those few chosen ones can. Alexander was one of them, but Rod’s family was already in the possession of King’s memories, and stories even go that far to say that Rod’s father took it from Alexander’s ancestors.** _

_ **Whatever the truth may be, the boy has given up his claim, but his father made him re-think that position by claiming that Rod wasn’t a suitable choice, and that Uri was younger brother, hence unqualified to take the position himself.** _

_ **Vasilisa turned out to be a part of rebels who wanted to expose Rod’s family. Alexander was willing to go with that plan too, and seize the throne for himself. He wanted to rule as good and righteous, honest King, and even vowed to tell his loyal subjects the whole truth behind the dynasty. But he didn’t know that the Will of the First King demanded that humanity remains blissfully unaware of the truth. The boy was an idealist, and a dreamer… despite all the warnings his own father gave him.** _

_ **Although I have always supported Rod for King’s claim, I have to admit that Alexander has had a great potential to became the King himself. It was a shame he couldn’t comprehend the main concept behind ruling the Walled World, a concept rather simple, which required the utmost secrecy.** _

_ **After the rebellion failed due to spies that infiltrated their circles, Alexander hid Vasilisa, and lived with her for some time. It was rumored that he even married the girl, but it has never been confirmed. Shortly after Uri has gotten the power and became the King, his council decided that Alexander was too dangerous to live, so they sent a hired hand to take care of that problem. Alexander was killed with his father, mother and his sister – all the Reiss relatives who posed the real danger to Rod or Uri’s claim, despite being a very distant cousins.** _

_ **Vasilisa fled and disappeared, this time returning into an Underground City. The council was chasing her, and even sent the best of their best to hunt her and kill her. She defied them for a while, avoiding them with help of her allies in the dark world underneath the Capital. Among them, there were several whores, and inn keepers… and she persisted for quite some time, presenting one last, final danger to dynasty. But the Ripper was the one who finally located her, and killed her. There was no report, no trace of the child, though… and Kenny insisted that he did his job until the very end.”** _

“Kenny Ackermann, huh? What the… no trace of a child? Does that mean that Vasilisa and Alexander…”  
Vladmir looked at me. “I have wondered. Always did and always will. Levi did say something about her being pregnant, but we have never really confirmed that. Ever.” 

Levi sighed. “I can’t know for sure, I have only seen Vasilisa a couple of times and it was a long time ago. First few times, she was in a brothel, so I thought that she was one of the working girls. She was beautiful, so it wouldn’t be surprising. But the fact that she was hiding her body, or rather her _stomach_ by using large shirts and multiple-layered clothing didn’t really add up to that theory. The other time… if that was really her… she definitely wasn’t pregnant. She was thin, poorly fed and dirty…” Levi was looking away when he was saying this, “… and I was looking her straight in the eyes while she was dying. I was there.” 

Out of some reason... it felt like he was really bothered by telling this, even when on the surface, he seemed absolutely calm. Vladimir frowned, and his hands ended tightly clutched in fists. 

“Levi… wait. Just… wait. Are you two saying that she might have given birth? **To a Reiss?** ”

I have turned towards the Queen of this world. “Is this why you are all so upset? There’s another _Reiss_ among the Walls who has potential shifting ability, and Historia is afraid that he may form an uprising against her? That he might claim the throne, or overthrow her, or go after Eren’s powers?”

I was trying to put all of the pieces together. “Is he behind this? Behind Christiana and her faction?” 

“That’s highly unlikely,” Aurora said. She closed the first book and handed me the second, which was also very old and was on the verge to fall apart. “First of all… that Reiss was hidden. Memories of that child were probably modified, if we take into consideration that Rod’s family won and had the power to alter memories. And the second of all… I have never said it was a boy.” 

Sure, that was a lot to take in. I have reconsidered that idea of Erwin’s to sit down. 

“Levi… Vladimir... approach us, please. I need you two to see this too,” the Commander asked, and they came closer to take a look. “Historia has found these documents… they were kept with Wall Cult for a long time, and hidden in their best guarded archives. This material was strictly confidential.” 

“It’s… the Reiss family tree,” Historia said, and I have taken a look. The book was illustrated, to my surprise. There were hand-drawn portraits of all the Reiss ancestors, and their names were signed underneath. Small lines lead from one character to another, and made a web. 

“She is here,” I’ve muttered. Next to Alexander Reiss, who was a handsome young man, with that characteristic Reiss facial features that both Frieda and Historia had… in his early thirties, with dark hair and light eyes… next to him, stood a separate drawing of a girl. She was younger than him, and had darker hair in the portrait. The shading implied her eyes were darker, though. My heart stopped when I saw her facial features. Her eyes. Her face. I froze. 

“No,” I said, and suddenly… all those pieces have fallen to their places. “No.” 

“She has to be…” Levi concluded. Vladimir just lowered his head down. 

“Ezra… you asked why we doubted you despite knowing that you were loyal to the Scouting Legion. You wanted to know why Levi was monitoring you, and why we thought of the possibility…” Erwin started, as I was staring at her picture. I was staring at the pictures of Frieda, Alexander, and Vasilisa, and was hoping that I have finally gone mad. That my eyes were deceiving me. 

“Shit…” Vladimir said, and pressed his fingers against his forehead. 

“…of the possibility that you were a shifter…” Erwin proceeded. 

“It can’t be. I mean… it has to be a mistake. Right?” I asked, desperately. But it all made sense. Also, it explained why Eren is here now. To confirm this by one touch of his hand, now when he has Frieda’s powers inside his body. 

“The resemblance is striking. Too much to be a mistake,” Historia said. “There’s a portrait of her in the old Reiss residence, and this is accurate. Black hair. Brown eyes.” 

“Vasilisa… can’t be…” I gulped, and the sudden rage, mixed with pain and fear, overwhelmed me. Fragments of my memories rushed forward, creating a chaos in my mind. It was her again. Her back. Her hand, that let go of mine and pushed me away. Her long, black hair, that shone beautifully as she was walking, far from me, leaving me behind… forever… 

“Your mother,” Vladimir said what we were all thinking. “They think that Lisa was… your mother after all.” 

Hot tears slid down my face and I used my sleeve to angrily wipe them away. 

“We don’t know that for sure. A resemblance doesn’t prove anything!”

“Even if we put all that aside… she has made sure that you remember one thing. For a reason,” Levi realized, and pulled his finger up to the line that connected Alexander to his father. He was an older man, in his sixties, military type with a serious expression. “Remember? The name.”  

It was Hebrew in origin. The meaning behind it… was “helper” or “help”. And the only thing that made it different from mine, was spelling. He had one extra “h” in the end. 

Ezrah Reiss’s cold stare affected me from that portrait and delivered one final piece of a puzzle that finally showed how the ultimate construction of this complicated story looks like. 

I have finally learned why Lisa... if she was my mother indeed... insisted that I never forget my name - and why she gave me a male's name in a first place. She wanted at least one reassurance that I, some day, learn why she did everything she did, and make me understand who I am. And to protect me. 

“ _Ezra Reiss_. Isn't that somethin'?" Vladimir asked, with bitter tone in his hoarse voice. “Sounds fancy, and technically makes you a royalty… and a potential heir to the throne.”

Dear God. That kind of power... and the title, given simply through the blood connections... could make me a real Queen of the Walled World, if this story is really true. 

“Looks like, whatever path you choose, you still somehow end up being a Queen. One way or another,” Vladimir said mockingly.

“I am no queen. In any way. And I will never be,” I whispered. “None of this has to be true. I don't have to believe it.”

“No, but there's pretty accurate way to confirm it, isn't it?” Aurora said, and pointed at Eren. 

I wasn't ready for re-living the abandonment, but in order to learn and accept the truth... I had no other choice.


	28. Remember The Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Those memories are back.**
> 
> This chapter was also posted on my DA page. Link: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-Remember-The-Name-pt-28-612037456. 
> 
> I post recently on DA, unlike on AO3. If you are interested to see more, follow me on: **http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/**

LANCE CORPORAL - Remember The Name (pt. 28)  
by galateabellator, 1 week and 6 days ago  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Drama

_Warning: Minor swearing._

**PART 28 - REMEMBER THE NAME - Levi x OC**

Obtaining my memories seemed to be the easier part of the procedure. 

I mean, all we had to do was connect – Historia gave her left hand to Eren, and he took it before looking at me. Historia’s right hand reached for my left, and I took it. It was small in mine, and felt a bit cold. 

Eren’s grip was stronger than Historia’s as he gave his hand to me too. He seemed a bit worried when he approached us and his hand hesitantly reached towards mine, like he had second thoughts… but he ultimately closed the triangle, and his teal eyes seemed determined. 

“Corporal Schwarz… are you are ready?” Historia asked softly. I have nodded. 

“Let us begin then,” the Queen stated. They both closed their eyes and started focusing. I was looking at their calm, peaceful faces, and waited… feeling confused and stupid along the way. 

Nothing was happening, and I almost felt relieved. For a moment, I was convinced that they had it all wrong. That it was just… a bunch of nonsense. 

But then, a sudden surge of power has spread, first through my arms and then (like some kind of un-explainable sensation) through my whole body. I have started seeing pictures. Faces. Places. All at once. All from my past.

\- - - - - - - - - -  

My heart sunk when I saw her face, freshly dragged from the bottom of a buried pile of memories that I was forbidden from having access to. Instead of remembering the blurred, undefined shape, I saw clear facial features, so vivid and radiant… like she was right in front of me. The face was of a heart-like shape, with high cheekbones, small nose and lips, and beautiful set of eyes. Her hair was just like I remembered. All black, and long, and shiny, and thick. It was almost waist-long, and it covered all of her back. I held my breath. My first memory of her was… her hug, actually. I was running towards her. I don’t know how old I could have been… but she has spread her arms towards me, and I was rushing to reach that warm, comfortable place around her neck. My safe place, where all the worries seem to disappear. Where all the troubles have gone away. 

“Езра... моја предивна цурице,” * even her voice was clear now, and it overwhelmed me. 

_ (transl. “Еzra… my lovely girl,”) _

She was smiling, and I could actually feel how the pain grew in my chest, like unstoppable and unbearable ball that started to spread and consume me. 

To see her like that… it was too much for me. 

“Гдје си била? Мама се забринула, ”she said, and I couldn’t hold it anymore. My burst of tears wasn’t even surprising at that point.

_ (transl. “Where have you been? Mama was worried,”) _

The next few memories of her quickly rushed away. Some of them were related to the Underground, but I was too young to remember it all. I just knew that I was born there. I also remembered Vesna, Kuchel and some working brothel girls. 

After staying in that brothel for a short while, we were moving. 

Frequently, and a lot of times, lying to everyone about everything. About our names. About our origins. About her. But again, there were some other scenes - mostly domestic ones – that I also remembered well. It was the time when the three of us… all of us… were living in a spacious, beautiful house. That house was placed on the furthest border of Wall Sina, almost to where Wall Rose begun. We were living under the protection of father’s relatives. 

Alexander Reiss. He was this… tall, and handsome and ambitious man, of a few words, and always busy. He was often absent and mother did what was in her power to fill that absence so I won’t feel how much we both missed him. Physically, I resembled him a lot, especially regarding those eyes. While I inherited the shape, the sharpness, and the expressiveness, it was a shame that I hadn’t inherited that color. He had teal eyes and dark brown hair. He also possessed the manners and behavior of a real gentleman. 

Life with my parents, though short-lived, was filled with joy and happiness. I was laughing a lot when I was younger, it’s almost a paradox when I compare it to my present self. I couldn’t relate to that girl that was so… joyous. But as I saw it - they both made sure that I was content and happy. Mostly my mother, Vasilisa. She always did something to make my life interesting, fulfilling and beautiful. There were always flower-arrangements in the house. There were a lot of books in our old library and she used to read them often to me. She has made most of my dresses, and most of my dolls. She would usually allow me to play with the flour and water batter while she was baking cakes. Father would carry me around on his broad shoulders, helping me to pluck cherries and other fruit from all the trees in our yard, or keeping an eye on me while I was swinging. 

Then, while mother was occupied in the garden and wasn’t looking, he would push the swing even harder, further into horizon, until my feet seemed to reach beyond that tall wall that surrounded us, aligning with the clear, big, blue sky. We were laughing together when her angry resonated to scold him for being a bigger child than me. The life with both of them seemed idle, but it didn’t last for long. 

We were dining that evening when my father arrived, with a gloomy expression on his face. He was followed by another tall figure, the one that I have instantly recognized.

“GRANDPA!” I yelled, in a high-pitched voice, happy to see the strict, military officer at the door. I ran into his embrace. 

“Well, look who’s all grown up. I will have to carry you with both arms now, won’t I?” he lifted me up, and put me on his left shoulder, much like my own father did. 

“Yes! I am four, I am a big girl!” the child responded. I rolled my eyes at that statement. 

“Uri has inherited the power of the first King,” my father announced, and my mother was so shocked that she has stopped eating. She used a handkerchief to wipe her mouth. 

“Wait… it’s Uri, and not Rod?” her disbelief was big.

“I guess he didn’t have what it takes to rule this world. Or, he has manipulated Uri into carrying that burden alone, to save his own ass,” my father seemed annoyed, but not remotely as my mother… for all the wrong reasons, if I may add.

“Not in front of Ezra…” she mumbled, but it was already too late. 

“His own ASS!” I repeated cheerfully.

Well. Now we know where I got the affinity for absorbing those segments of my fabulous vocabulary. Not that Vladimir or Levi were any eager to teach me to speak more properly either.

“We need to move. Again. Change our story and our identities again,” my father sighed.   
Mother has immediately risen from her seat, and started packing a few most necessary things. 

“And just when I thought that we could manage living like this. I mean... we are practically isolated. No one even knows about Ezra, or about our marriage.”

“We can’t know about who knows what. We are just assuming that nobody knows. Wherever more than two people know about something, it can’t even be called a secret anymore,” Grandfather’s strict face hasn’t changed while he was speaking. Mother grabbed a small suitcase and put a blanket, a dress, and a pair of gloves in it. She added some food, some fruit and wrapped those in separate cloth. 

“We have to go back to the Underground. Things are going to get ugly from here,” mother’s response was serious. My father buried his forehead into the palm of his glove. 

“If I just… take that power for myself, maybe everything can change for us. For everyone, even Ezra. She is royalty, she might even get to be a Queen!” he stated. “If I… take the power from Uri… I…”

“And that’s exactly why they are looking for you,” Ezrah Reiss sharply reminded him. “You had the opportunity to do so before, but you have rejected it, and you have chosen to be a part of her cause instead. A part of rebellion!” he cocked his head towards Vasilisa. 

His eyes grazed my mother’s face, and I saw a shade of defiance in her eyes as response.   
“What’s done is done, father-in-law. We can only move now, and hope that Uri will make more merciful king than Rod would ever hope to be.”

“Are you really such a fool to believe there will be mercy? You have made yourself clear. Both you and my dumb son. You were rising a coup! A rebellion, a wave against the crown itself! You spoke of the unspeakable, about freedom, the false king, the dynasty and the world beyond these walls. You inspired the uprising, the change, you inspired the revolution, and yet, you hope to get to survive this?” 

“Grandpa?” as child, I couldn’t understand what he was talking about, or why he was so angry with my mother. All I knew, was that it made me upset and sad.

“That power… it’s something beyond your comprehending, Vasilisa. And if Alexander has taken the opportunity, you’d have seen why. Truth be told, that power corrupts. It twists the holder. It makes him believe that the world is fine as it is, that humanity is guilty of crimes and that we need to stay behind the walls if we want to be protected…”

“And you were trying to stop us from forming a rebellion! You lived like trapped animals! You were… no, you are doing only what you are told, same as before, even if you think that you are acting of your own accord. You are still unaware. You are forbidden from showing any interest into that beautiful world that’s out there, but I have told you – I am not like you. I know what’s outside, I come from the outside! And your people need to know too! They need to be free!”

“The power… the Will of the First King… demands obedience. An absolute devotion. It believes that there’s no need to change the regime, and you know what? I believe it too. The King exists for a reason, and its power is passed down in our family for a reason. Defying it is a serious crime. And although threatening and dangerous in nature, although unfair, hidden, and malign, it is still power. It’s better if we had it in our arms instead of Uri having it, and instead of us trying to expose everything to civilians. The power like that has its price, but it’s better if we had it. Better than if his family did. You wouldn’t have to go into hiding, and fear for your very lives. If only my stupid son listened to me instead of you, we would’ve been a winning side.”

He sighed. He has walked next to Vasilisa, and put me from his shoulder on the floor. My mother seemed tired. 

“I just wanted… what’s best for the people. They deserved… to know about the truth. That there are people outside of these walls. That they have clans. That the families like Ackermanns and other banished people… weren’t dangerous or ill-intended and that they didn’t deserve the treatment they’ve gotten. It’s all terribly unfair, father-in-law… and there’s no greater thing I disapprove off more than that injustice. I am sorry we can’t see eye to eye. I just thought we were doing a right thing for everyone.”

My grandfather stroked my head, and his eyes were filled with sadness. 

“The idea itself is noble. I will give you that much. It’s pure, and virtuous, and courageous. To an extent, it’s even admirable. But when you put all those aside, and you get to its core… what I see is fundamentally foolish. It’s risky, it’s reckless… and it has put all of us in great danger.”

Alexander spoke. “We will not apologize, father. Had we not been betrayed from the inside, we would have made a great change. A bright future. Something exceptional for the whole humanity. There’s nothing better than being aware of what kind of world we are living in. When you are aware, you can change things for better.” my father stubbornly insisted. “We could have overthrown the King and we could have given liberty to the people. We could have given them a choice. What we are giving them now… is a big, stone cage, and three, penetrable gates. We think we are giving them peace, but we are giving them nothing. They live knowing nothing. Living in shadows. Living by someone else’s rules.” 

“You open your mouth, son, but all I hear is _her_ ,” Ezrah’s bitter tone was aimed at Vasilisa. “You will never change that stubborn, useless perspective, will you?” 

He turned towards my mother again. “You proud woman. Whatever you may say now, either of you… Rod has won. You had his people in the midst of rebellion, and that’s why he is victorious now, and you are in hiding.”

“We will protect ourselves. I have resources, I know people,” Vasilisa whispered. 

“Yeah. I know. However, The Shadow Killer is still in prison in the very Capital of Mitras, he can’ t help you. And every day, I am less and less capable of doing so myself.”

“Vladimir can help even imprisoned. His friends are still my friends. His clan is still my clan. They will protect us, like they have done before. And no matter how hard and dangerous it is in the Underground, we will at least be safe there.” 

Ezrah approached Vasilisa. He put a hand onto her shoulder. 

“Daughter-in-law. There’s nowhere you will be safe, for the King’s power has a long reach. Especially in the Underground. Your movement… your treason… has endangered his reign. You have almost exposed him for what he is, for what our family is in these Walls. It’s not something he will forgive, regardless of the fact that we are closely related. It’s us versus them now, so their options are clear. And who can blame them? I would probably do the same! You just had to be righteous and all moral. Like we don’t have enough on our plate as it is, Rod’s people are going to come after you. And not just you, my foolish girl. For all of us! All of you! And to make this tragedy even greater… they will come for the little one too.”

It was the first time in a long time that I have seen a fully grown up man on the verge of crying, and in depths of his despair. He has lifted me in the air. “You could be the one, you know? You could be the next in line to take that crown for yourself. To save yourself. It’s us versus them, and we have to do everything we can… don’t we?”

“Grandpa?”  

“Father. Please… we will think of something. I can take the power away from Uri, if necessary, and if that is the case - I will take it away by force.”

“It’s too late now, my boy. Too late…” 

I have hugged him hard. 

“Come. We have to make the preparations; Ezra needs to be put somewhere safe. Pack the rest of your things, Vasilisa. I am going to help you in every way I can, but we need to be precocious and we need to be swift. You two leave now.” 

“What do you mean?” she asked, her eyes looking for my father. He explained. 

“We need to separate. You and Ezra will go to your people, as you suggested… and the two of us are going to drag their people away.” 

“No! Alex… the worst thing we can do is to get separated at this point!” Vasilisa was scared, angry and furious. Alexander has hugged her tightly. It hasn’t reassured her a bit.

“If we are together, and they find us, they will kill us all,” he whispered, his words simple, effective, and true. 

“You aren’t going to play bait. I am not going to allow that!” Vasilisa protested. “I refuse!!” 

“It’s for the best,” my father whispered. “And it’s unnegotiable. It’s what’s going to keep you alive. They have hired someone. Someone good. It’s a matter of time before they catch up to where we are and… Vasilisa. We were talking about this before. The time to choose has come.” 

“No. I won’t do that. I won’t choose between you and my own child… I simply won’t.”

“Again… it doesn’t matter whether you want or don’t want it to. You will simply have to choose.”  
He kissed her, one last time. I wasn’t aware why she was crying, all I knew than was it hurt me too. 

“This… is it, isn’t it? It’s over. We are done. We are never… going… to see…”

“Don’t say it. If you say it, it will mean that it has come to be true. And while I am alive, I will hope for the best possible outcome. So, have a little faith, Lisa. It doesn’t hurt.”

“Losing you does. I love you. I am scared. I don’t want to be separated…”

“We need to. It’s the best possible option. Don’t be stubborn,” Alexander insisted. He has kissed her hands. Then, he got down, and has hugged me, and kissed my cheek. He wiped my tears away.

“Now, little one. Papa needs to say goodbye again, this is very important. But I will be back, like I always do, so I hope you will be a good girl and listen to your mother until I am back again.”

“Papa, you liar,” I hugged him and started crying, and held onto his jacket. “Don’t leave! PAPA!”

“Liar? Oh, dear… you are really quick to learn those words, aren’t you?” he laughed, and messed up with my hair. “Listen, now. It’s going to be a sort of… a game. A hide and seek. You love that game, don’t you? Plus, there’s no better person at playing it than you. You have tricked papa so many times before. So, here’s the plan. You and mama are going to hide from some people, and papa is going to confuse them by going in another way. It is all very silly and a lot of people are going to be involved. So, you and mama need to out-best them, be smart, and stay hidden, because you girls are in my team. And you know what that means, right? We have to win!”

“I don’t want to play… please, papa…”

“It’s going to be really funny, I promise,” he smiled. “Now, be a good girl and take care of your mother, because papa really needs to go.”

“PAPA!” 

“Ezra,” my mother’s whisper was as powerful as someone’s shout would be. “Say goodbye to papa and kiss him goodbye.” 

I did, but I still couldn’t stop sobbing. Grandfather has caressed my face, and took me in his arms one last time. In the meanwhile…

“You know what to do, Lisa,” Alexander’s expression has gotten serious. She has nodded. He hugged her again, kissed her again. “Lisa… my darling, lovely Lisa…” He made a pause, to get a good look of her. Like he wanted to carve her image in his mind. He took his travelling cloak, and while doing so, she was fighting the urge to fall apart and cry out loud. And she had to say something. 

She knew it would be the last time. 

“I love you. Never forget that. I will love you until the very end.” 

“The same goes for me, my fair lady. We had something many won’t find in their whole lifetime. I love you both, my precious darlings.” 

“I love you too, papa! Grandpa! You too!” I pulled his travelling cloak. “Don’t go! Please!”   
Mother had to drag me away from them both. She took me in her arms. 

“It’s fine, dear. It’s going to be just fine, let papa and grandpa go and play this game. It will be fun! Mommy’s friends are going to join too, and it’s going to be a really big adventure. For all of us!” 

Alexander has stepped out first. He put a hat on the top of his head, and has risen the collar of his cloak. He hasn’t looked back, but that was because he wasn’t able to. Ezrah has looked at Lisa.

“Do you still… have…”

“Right here.” Vasilisa has pulled a piston from her puffy sleeve. “And I also have other means to protect my own daughter. You needn’t to worry. If anyone keeps her safe… it will be me.”

Ezrah nodded. “Listen to your mother, darling. You are already a good girl, so I won’t say that you need to be. Just… stay as you are. Grandpa… really loves you, little one…”

With that, he has left the house too, leaving both me and mum in tears. 

\- - - - - - - - - -  

It was in the Underground City that we learned about their fates. Grandfather was apprehended and judged for high treason, and only a few days after, he was hanged in front of military. In order to intimidate whoever was supporting his family’s claim, I guess. 

My father, on the other hand, was caught several months later. He was shot to death for conspiring against the crown and participating in the rebellion with Shadow Killer and widely famous refugee, Lisa the Slav. 

And Lisa… well… mother was depressed, but completely crushed after she has heard those news. She fell in catatonic state and was like that for a while. She wouldn’t react to anything. The sounds, the light, the water or food… to anything. She wasn’t cold. She wasn’t hot. She would just lay down, lost somewhere beyond my reach… there, but not there. Present, but absent. She was kept in a facility that resembled an infirmary but didn’t have medical supplies. She just had time, and that was about it. She was in stupor for weeks, in that… apathetic state very similar to death. She was motionless, speechless, and wouldn’t make even the smallest eye-contact with anyone. Not even me. I can’t remember for how long she was like that, but I was by her side, and I was trying to hold onto her for as long as I could. 

Only when I fell ill, and was on the verge of existing, she came back. 

But she came back as ghost. Her health started to drastically deteriorate because of the stress, the pain and worsened conditions. She has started to lose weight, she has obtained dark circles under her eyes, and her beauty slowly, but surely withered away, from day to day. She was taking care about me, again, but something changed for us. Forever. 

And I couldn’t do a single thing about it.  

\- - - - - - - - - -  

We were captured by the Reiss supporters and brought in front of the blond, blue eyed man. The King descended from his throne in the belly of the world, and was facing both of us. 

“The rumors were true, then?” he softly asked. “Another Reiss.” 

“No. Uri… she has nothing to do with this. None of it. Just… let the child go.”

“No,” the King insisted, with sadness in his eyes. “That child… is dangerous.”

“Please, Uri. She is just a random child I picked up along the way to forge a better cover-story, but that’s it. She is not mine. The resemblance is uncanny, but she is not my blood.”

“Is that so?” the King offered his hand to me. I didn’t know what to do. “Come over here,” he called.  

“Wait!” Lisa was panicking. “What are you going to do? URI!!!” 

“She’s undoubtedly yours. Don't try to deny it.”

“She is not a Reiss! She is Shadow Killer’s child. She is his daughter, so you have nothing to worry about! She hasn’t inherited the blood that could trigger the transformation, so she is not a threat…”

“It isn't the blood that transforms us. It's something else. Nonetheless, she is still a Reiss. To the last bone in her body. But even if she was just a commoner, she could still threaten my descends merely by being your daughter. Regardless of who the father was. So, you must be aware... that there’s only one thing I see as a solution of this problem.” 

“URI! DON’T YOU DARE HURT HER!” 

Two men held her down, to prevent her from running towards us.

“You understand I have to do it, don’t you, Lisa? It’s for her own good. She will have a better chance like this. You see that much on your own too. Don’t you?” Uri seemed tired, and deeply saddened by the ending course of events. 

“You can’t… take her away…” mother sobbed. "Don't hurt her. Please. Please..." 

“I won’t take her. But I will take _something_ away.” 

With that, he pressed his arm onto my back. His hand felt hot, and a sudden surge of power rushed down, like a giant wave in my spine. 

“She won’t remember a thing,” Uri promised. 

\- - - - - - - - - -  

I did remember something, though. I still remembered my mother. How we were rushing through the alleys again. How we were in hurry. No, we were in run for our lives. She had blood all over her face, all over her dress, but I still held her arm. When she spoke, she was speaking entirely in Slavic - it was no point in using the common language anymore. 

_“Ezra. Remember the name. Ezra.”_

She has paused briefly. “Dear God, what have I done?” she bit her lip. “This is so hard...”

She has lowered her head down, towards mine. She has smiled. It was a sad, forced smile. “I don’t know how long you are going to remember… or how much time do we still have... but I imagine it’s not long, so I will just say it all now.”

She has hugged me. One last time. “You are everything to me. Absolutely everything that meant anything in this world. I loved you with all my heart. I always will. Until my last breath, and beyond it.” 

She inhaled deeply. “But what I did there… was unforgettable. I tried to kill Uri… I tried to end it all. His guards might be dead… but… I ultimately failed. His main hound is still out there, and Uri himself is still alive. Whatever was left of his mercy… is not an option now. That’s why we have to go on separate ways now. Hide and seek, right?”

“Mommy, no…” 

“We have to. I messed up. I messed up really bad and now… I tried to kill him. Even after he spared us both. Ezra… I…” 

She couldn’t let go of me more than I could let go of her. “I love you, little one. You are strong, you will survive this. In my heart, I know you will. But mommy… has to go now. To make sure that man doesn’t catch up to you. You have to win this game, right? Just like papa asked.”

But as a child, I couldn’t remember my father anymore. Or Ezrah Reiss, for that matter. It was all starting to fade away… piece by piece. 

“He said that, despite you being a Reiss… he could still manipulate your memories because you are young. I imagine that power… will take everything away soon. Even me.” 

Her hug was too tight in that moment. “But you will get through this. You will.” 

“Mommy, I am scared… don’t leave me alone. Please!”

“One day, you might even remember it all. On your own, or with help, but you might actually remember this. All of it. Even me,” she smiled, and kissed my cheeks. “Mommy loves you very, very much. And all I ever wanted, was a better world for you. All the love. All the happiness. Everything I ever did was for you, little one.”

I was sobbing. Quietly, but sobbing. “M-mommy… don’t go… I love you, so don’t go…”

“I am sorry I didn’t do better by you. I am sorry I wasn’t able to protect you. I am sorry because of all the wrong choices I made that lead to this outcome. It’s going to be tough for you from now on. But you will survive. I have to believe it, or it was all for nothing… and I simply refuse to think it was for nothing. But I have to go.”

Kenny The Ripper was after her, and she really had to let me go. 

She has turned her back on me, that long, dark hair shining beautifully on her shoulders. The grip of her hand on mine loosened. 

_“Remember the name…”_

I tried to hold onto her hand. She pushed me away, and rushed towards the darkness. Never to come back, never again, and never to me. 

\- - - - - - - - - -  

I released Eren and Historia’s hands from mine. The memories certainly were a lot to take in, especially since they came all at once. Eren’s face seemed apologetic. His voice was soft once after he spoke to me and broke the silence. 

“Corporal Schwarz… we are… sorry…” 

“Now, now. Move away, I want some answers,” Vladimir’s hoarse voice was filled with bitterness. He pushed both Historia and Eren away. He approached me and grabbed the collar of my jacket. 

“Tell me, Ezra. Were you her blood? Did she die because of you?”  

“Vladimir,” Aurora warned, and was now glaring at him. "That's enough."

“Yes…” I responded, looking at those pale, grey eyes. “She was my mother. And she has died because of me. _For me_. It must be some kind of curse, right? Everyone just… keeps dying for me.”

“Most certainly so... you little bitch.” 

He gritted his teeth. Maybe he wanted to slap me. Maybe he didn’t. He was angry, and he was in pain. It was my fault. I would have taken any hit, any punch, anything that would make him feel better. But he didn’t move. He was breathing heavily, his arms tightening around my collar, and I held my head low, unable to look at him anymore.

“Vladimir! That is too far, even for you!” Aurora was upset with him, and expressed it bluntly.

My hands were trembling. My breathing was shaky too. The tears fell on the ground next to my boots. But in the next moment, he was the one to wrap his arms around me, and pressed me tightly against his strong, firm chest. The smell of tobacco and aftershave mixed under my nose. 

“Nowhere is too far if it’s about my daughter, madam von Amsel. Whatever kind of shit I throw on her, believe me, she can take it. She was risen that way,” he barked. Then, his chin leaned against the top of my head. His whisper came low, but it was still audible. 

“Even if I had to die a thousand times over for you, Ezra… I would. That's what parental love is all about, stupid girl. Both Lisa... and that man... must have felt this way too.”

I hugged the only person I could call a father for all these years. I was crying in his shoulders, and he was holding me. 

Then, I looked at Levi. I remembered… that he was present when Lisa… Vasilisa… my mother… was killed. He told me about it, he was there when Kenny slit her throat. To teach him a lesson. To show him that his job was a simple one if he wants to survive in a world like ours. It wasn’t Levi’s fault, Hell, it wasn’t even Kenny’s fault… Kenny had orders from Rod’s supporters. Believed it would protect Uri and just did what he believed was necessary. But she was still gone. Dead not once, but twice over now, taken away twice after I remembered it all. 

And despite all the promises, and all my love for the Lance Corporal… I suddenly couldn’t let it slide. I couldn’t stand his presence. Nor could I stand the young queen Historia. Hell, I couldn’t even stand _me_... but from _them_ , I could run. 

And so... I did.


	29. THE WAY THROUGH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can you presume what happened in the meantime? :)
> 
> On deviantart: http://galateabellator.deviantart.com/art/LANCE-CORPORAL-The-Way-Through-pt-29-656482025

**PART 29 – THE WAY THROUGH**

Warning: Lot of swearing.

**\- - - - - - Present - - - - - -**

**_“The shitstorm has hit the HQ. You need to go back. Now.”_ **

**\- - - - - - A while ago - - - - - -**

The crowd was cheering as the spectacle was about to start. How people seem to enjoy violent delights is beyond me, but there’s just something exciting about seeing two people fight. Who will win? Who will have the upper hand? Who’s about to be ashamed, and probably crippled in these rotten arenas, meant for entertainment of those who loved to bet over the misery of others? 

Even with the recent reform that happened under the caring and generous hand of our new, beloved monarch Historia, some things remained the same. The Underground still had a way of evading new laws, and resisting the newly formed norms. I don’t expect it’ll last for long, but as long as there are places like this to keep me occupied – I’ll be happy to try to earn some easy money. 

Well, the term ‘easy’ doesn’t really apply in this case. Maybe I should just be a whore instead… and cut all this fuss. 

The door opened, and a tall, dark man stormed into the parlor. 

“I have just seen the list. You wanna kill yourself out there?” he asked. 

“Calm down, Regulus. It’s not a big deal,” I’ve said. 

“Vladimir to you. It’s a fucking disaster, because in your state, you are worth less than nothing!” 

My foster father kept barking at me. He was angry, so angry with me… with my recent behavior… but he was no angrier than I was in general - so I honestly didn’t care about how he might have felt when I fled to the Underground. 

“Wow, so supportive.”

“I am. Only a fool would support you in this case.” 

“If it bothers you so much, then just don’t bet on me, Vladimir.”

I remained cold to all his persuasions… all his attempts to make me go back. There was no use. 

My anger threatened to blow on those who the least deserved it… my cadets, to whatever was left of my unit… so I had to remove myself from their presence and to lose those feelings somehow. Any way would do, but I have chosen what was the most characteristic for me. 

The best way, in all my previous experiences, was to smash someone into dirt - especially if that someone was an underground scoundrel – just like me. Sometimes, it even felt like I was punching myself. Most of the time, it felt like I’ve deserved it. For several things… and especially for being a hardass.

“Does anything I say get through that thick skull of yours, Corporal?” Vladimir leaned towards me in a threatening way.

“An ex, assistant Corporal. Dishonorably discharged from duty,” I recited. The simplicity of that fact didn’t change the way I still felt about it. I thought that, if I’ve been given it some time, it would start to heal. So far, it’s been just a hoax. 

I was choking on those words. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done – renounced my title, my rank… everything that made Ezra Schwarz who she was for the past decade. Hence, when I talked about it, it made the whole decision seem even worse… so I decided not to talk about it any further. I was putting the bandages around my wrists instead, and trying to ignore my keeper. He didn’t appreciate the silent treatment. 

“Should I kick you where you stand and end this in the most unexpected way for everyone, huh? You stubborn, stupid girl.”

“You can try, geezer. It wouldn’t take you far, since you are around 100 years old or so.”

“And you can’t count for the life of you. In that domain, you are almost as limited as a bad fuck.”

Hell, geezer… maybe it’s a good thing you can’t produce children. What kind of father would talk to his daughter in that way? I’ve raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, you’d know all about bad fucks. I mean, with so many women and so many whores, it’s no wonder you can instantly tell,” I have made a valid point. 

“Yeah, I could. Just like I can tell you’ve made yet another mistake by coming here, of all places. Also, since you weren’t discharged at all, but deserted like a common coward, you deserve everything you get,” he bitterly reminded me. 

His tone was filled with light sadness, because he wished better for me than life in the slums. Again. He was utterly disappointed with what I’ve done, but in his own way, he understood my reasons. He supported me just by going after me, and securing my whereabouts. I really respected him for it. 

“Ezra… you had time to think. More than enough, if you ask me. You need to go back. They need you.”

“It’s not like I’ve just took a damn vacation! I didn’t just… take leave, or asked for a few days to gather my thoughts. I deserted, and I didn’t do it because it was a whim of mine or something! I had serious reasons. You know them all. Besides… nobody needs me there. Not after everything that happened.”

I have braided my hair in small braids on top of my head, and lifted the rest in a high, curvy ponytail. I don’t remember my hair being this long. I will have to cut it if I… no. I won’t go back. I can’t serve the Queen. Not if she is the one to be served. I will never fight titans again, so there won’t be any need… for cutting the damn hair down. I’ve had enough. All that is left for me now… is to live, fight, steal or gamble… and mostly important of all - to hide.

“Silly child. They need you precisely because of everything that happened in your absence,” he smirked. “You are vital at this point, whether they like it or not.”

Yeah, right.

“What I am, is a rogue… once more. And even if I wasn’t, they wouldn’t want me, unless if it was behind the thickest bars, and for the execution. I left the army when I was sorely needed – maybe the most needed… and I failed them.”

I stopped with banding my wrists and focused on my shoulder. It was still aching from the last rendezvous I had. The last bitch didn’t go easy on me. This will be a nuisance. 

My father shrugged his huge shoulders. “Maybe that’s not up to you to decide.” 

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and inserted one between his lips. He started searching through his pockets for a match. 

“But it is to them. Right. Because they will be oh so merciful.” 

My cynical response referred to the latest warrant the young Queen made – I was a wanted deserter, and anyone who’d give up my whereabouts would be handsomely rewarded. It also said I was a threat to the throne, the usurper that threatened to take the crown from its rightful owner. (My poster was pinned on every tree and at every visible spot among walls. That portrait was awful, I tell ya… and the first chance I get to tell it to Moblit - be sure that I will. Lad needs to improve).  
It offended me. The very thought of that little bitch giving the order away, presuming that I would be so bold do ask that kind of power for myself. I mean… I could barely handle me. Like I would lead a revolution and take that stinking throne for myself. Like I cared about a damn chair. Really. 

Vladimir has finally found his match and lit the tip of his cigar. He enjoyed the first draw.

“They won’t kill you. You must be aware of at least that much,” he insisted.

“Says who? Aurora? Erwin? Not up to them. It’s up to Zackley, and the court! Do you really believe I would be spared?” 

For one, I didn’t believe it. For two, I was really surprised that he did. 

“Yeah, you little shit. I do. You have indebted them in too many ways. No one would dare to take your life, not even for the very crime of deserting.” 

I laughed at his face. He knew so little about the system. But who could blame him? He was never truly a part of it, and for him, the rules didn’t really apply. Unless he’d chose to.

“Historia would, very much, judging by that warrant that was issued.” 

“It was a bad joke, I tell ya. Besides, I would never let it happen. Lady Amsel surely wouldn’t. And, despite his strict, moral code, even the Commander wouldn’t let anyone kill you. Simply because, of all the fouls in the Scouting Legion, who know what that would mean, Erwin know it the best as the man who is very practical. And if Erwin by some miracle decided that you were guilty and leave you to die… we both know who wouldn’t. He would never let it happen. Despite everything, and everyone.”

I have turned my back on Vladimir, so he wouldn’t see my face. He didn’t have to see that I was on the verge of crying again. I have cried too much for the past two weeks. 

“Like he didn’t let my mother die?” I have bitten my lip. “Don’t be too sure about him. We don’t know where his loyalties lie anymore. He might be… the one who’ll kill me where I stand.”

“Then, you must be even more sentimental than I have previously thought. You can say whatever the fuck you want about the midget… but the one thing he would never do, is harm you. Let alone kill you. So, don’t be such a bitch towards him. He might have deserved a lot of things, but not that.”

Maybe his words hurt so much because they were true. But again… Levi was a soldier, and extremely loyal to Erwin. Erwin was loyal to code, to justice. Despite being an army officer myself, I broke that code, and not just broke… I violated it. Knowing the consequences, yet I still did it. This was my own, big mess up.

“Whatever. I have to go,” I said to my foster parent.

I really had to – it was the time to fight. Bitter, and dissatisfied roars of the crowd demanded that I go out and give them a show. 

“Don’t go full Corporal just yet. Your opponents aren’t all that though,” I’ve heard the geezer smirk behind me. “Otherwise, they won’t stand a chance - and where’s the fun in that?” 

“So, you are betting on me, after all?” I asked, shortly stopping before entering the marked area.

“I just might.” Vladimir responded. I was already climbing into the ring. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Place your bets! Place them! Who will it be this time? Our champion, the Thunder, or will it be the Queen, our rising star? Who will it be?!” 

The main spokesperson was annoying, per usual. Too enthusiastic, and too chatty. He was also praising my opponent, and pointing out his recent successes. The Thunder was multiple champion in the underground fights, mostly famous for quick and heavy punches that earned him the nickname. While the Queen… well. We all know where that dumb nickname comes from, but I had to give them something to call me by, and Ezra Schwarz… Reiss… whoever the Hell I was these days… was out of question. According to her fighting history, she was ‘a rising star’ because she has won 18 out of 22 fights since she has started fighting. Two weeks ago. Go, me. 

“Are you ready?” the Thunder asked. He clashed one fist into another, as demonstration of his power. The girls in the crowd started yelling. He was tall, blond, had light eyes. Maybe even handsome, but he wasn’t my type. His built promised there will be pain. He turned towards me.

“Are you ready?” 

“Is that all you can say? Has the constant fighting damaged your brain or something? Professional curiosity,” I provoked, without even forming basic fighting attitude. He immediately engaged, infuriated. It was almost a given how I could provoke men. 

Despite his form, he wasn’t really a threat. I had fought tall, and muscular types before. It’s not about strength as much as it is about the speed, and finding the weak points. I learned it the harder way when I fought Vladimir - and in military, after being tested by Erwin, and fighting Mike Zacharius in trainings. Mike was a tough nut to crack. We sparred multiple times, so I have figured how to deal with stronger opponents on his example. This guy won’t be such a problem. 

The fight with Thunder lasted about thirty minutes before I brought him down. I’ll admit, it wasn’t an easy task as I hoped it would be, but I had to think about the money, about starving to death, about… all those things that come with being a deserter, a potential usurper and a highly wanted criminal. I won probably due to an adrenaline rush. The rage can be a useful fuel when you are beaten and humiliated. My opponent’s tongue loosened, and he was promising me a rape… vividly describing all that he will do to me once we are alone. His wild imagination came in handy. And I thought that I was the provocateur. I lost it to the point where they had to pull me away from him so I don’t bash his skull in with my bloodied fists. He was almost done for good. I would like to say that I’ve reached the whole new level, but I have killed men for lesser things when I was even younger. So… this doesn’t even count. 

“Who would have thought? WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN?” 

It’s not like there were any decent folks in the crowd, though…

“THE QUEEN WINS, YET AGAIN! AGAINST THE THUNDER HIMSELF! WELL DONE! AMAZINGLY, BOLDLY, UNEXPECTEDLY, WONDERFULLY - WELL DONE, MY DEAR!” 

They were cheering. Shouting that dumb nickname of mine, and pointing their hands towards me. I responded back, like any other animal in my place would. I spread my arms towards them and yelled as loudly as I could. I was screaming, and screaming, and screaming, in pure anger that poured over my whole body. I was filled with it. I despised them, I hated them all. I hated myself too. There was nothing in this world… left…

“Well done,” someone started clapping after the rest of the audience stopped. “Really, well done.” 

When the murmur died, a figure still kept clapping. It kept applauding, slowly, and in an ironical way. It was a mockery, aimed to humiliate me… until the silence filled the whole place, leaving only that… rhythmic beat of hands, and silent approach of long, leather boots. 

He was wearing a dark coat, a simple shirt, trousers, and a leather belt around his waist. He moved through the center, and people made place for him to pass as he was walking towards me. I stood my ground, and faked confidence, and despise. In reality, my heartbeat quickened. 

I missed him. More than I wanted to admit. 

“You’ve come so far. I am so proud,” his cynical tone kept mocking me, and I remained calm. 

“It must be heartwarming. But wait, for that you’d need a heart. Silly me.”

He was staring at me. I was staring back, out of pure defiance, but have already started to feel uncomfortable.

“Are we done with this little show of yours?” he spread his arms towards the audience around him. “Have you blown off some steam?” he made a few steps closer. 

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” I leaned forwards, gritting my teeth. 

“It’s time to come home,” Levi’s gaze was as sharp as ever… and as cold as ever.

“This is my home. Or, have you forgotten?” 

“This shithole is all but home, and this is all but you. Come. Don’t make me repeat myself.” 

“Come? Have you asked whether I want to? Have you apologized for what was done?” 

“It happened twenty years ago, and I have already apologized about a thousand times. You just don’t get it, but in time, that damaged brain of yours just might be able to process a concept of an honest apology and just accept it as it is. That being said, this time, I am not asking. As your superior, I order you to come. And you better obey.” 

He never had to use his rank to order me around. We have really came far, haven’t we? Probably to the point of no return. 

“Or… what?” I crossed my arms over my breasts. “I seriously ask. What are you going to do, sir Lance Corporal?” 

I don’t remember ever seeing him that serious before. He has uttered: 

“I will make you, Assistant Corporal. It won’t be pleasant, and you won’t like it. Come. I won’t order you again.” 

Hah, come? In some other life, maybe. I have walked inside the ring, circling around the markings. 

“To court? To trial? I’d rather die where I am. No one gets to execute me, regardless of power or rank. And here’s the thing. You can’t make me. That’s why you ask.” 

“I ask because I am giving you a choice – so go willingly, and the punishment won’t be so severe. Resist, and face the grave consequences. It’s really… quite and as simple as that, Queen of Spades.” 

A few surprised gasps filled the air. They weren’t aware of who I really was, but now, the nickname ringed some bells, and the fools were terrified. With a reason, I guess.

“Is that a challenge?” I raised an eyebrow. “This brain might not be able to process that concept either.” Lance Corporal kept his eyes on me whole the time as he was removing his coat. 

“How about the concept of game? Rather… a gamble? The hand is dealt. How shall we play?” he asked. I have almost missed this. Almost. 

“Why, the way you dislike it the most.” I said like it was very logical. “We play dirty.”

He didn’t waste time, he rushed towards me. The audience exploded - the excitement culminated amongst crowd. 

I blocked Levi’s kick, aimed to my knees, and prevented him from gripping my elbows. He evaded, leaning back when I went for his head. He landed a hit directly to my stomach, and I smacked him across his face. He hit me with his knee, and the pain almost made me lose my balance. 

This… motherfucker… 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!” I relied on brute force, which was a mistake… because he used it against me, in more than one way. He prevented me from hitting him, he punched me hard, and blocked my fist in front of his face. 

“Is it enough yet?” he asked. We both gasped for air, but he was faster – he was always faster, and he was always stronger than me. So, no matter how many times I tried… he has persistently kept hitting me back, adding more damage to my body than all my previous opponents ever did, combined. I tried to focus, and for a short while, I could even see through his moves. 

We were maneuvering around one another like in some kind of choreography… and we were predictable to one another. Like we knew exactly what the other would do… and did all to be one step ahead. I was following, but in a single moment, I’ve lost the pattern. It was all it took. 

“Fuck… this…” 

The next blow landed in my chin. It hurt like Hell, but I knew his next move, so I encountered it, and kicked him in the thigh… missing the most painful spot where you can hit a man - but still hitting him nevertheless. It was his turn to slap me across the face – so, he did, and then, used that moment to throw me over his shoulder. It was basics, really, but I didn’t have the necessary strength to defend all my weak points… nor did I want to. My strength, my will… everything… was slowly drifting away. 

That was the difference in power, and the level of skills between us. I just kept blocking, and he kept attacking. He was best in offensive. I was starting to lose my breath.

“We can keep this up, or you can be reasonable. For once, be reasonable…” he whispered. The heavy tone of his voice suggested that he was tired of it all too. Maybe it was high time… 

For once. Damn it all. 

“Okay… okay…” I gasped, fighting for breath. “I surrender, Lance Corporal.” 

I lifted both of my arms, and backed up from him. “This is it. You win.” 

You win…

And suddenly, a voice reminded me of where we have been. 

“SUCH AN ANTI-CLIMAX! SUCH A DISASTER! TO HAVE SOMEONE WHO FOUGHT SO GOOD JUST NOW TO SIMPLY GIVE UP…” 

“Tch… something you wouldn’t even dream of, huh?” Levi interrupted. “Stop with the lame, loud comments. You piss me off.” 

To everyone’s surprise, Levi has casually hit the spokesman in the teeth, and used a piece of cloth to wipe his hand afterwards. 

“Anyone else has something to add?” he boldly asked. Nobody seemed fond to argue with him, so he grabbed his coat, then went back and did something I didn’t expect- he grabbed my arm, and started dragging me through the crowd. Very much like a displeased parent. The Hell with it. I already had one, and he also wasn’t biological. 

“Let me go,” I forcefully pulled from Levi’s grip. It was so hard to keep up with all the mixed feelings that rose inside of me. I couldn’t tell what was the first thing I would do. Hit him again? Slap him? Cry? Hit him yet again? Turn away and run? Kill him? Kiss him?

No. I just… kept walking next to him. We had much to discuss, and this time, I wasn’t running away. I couldn’t run away forever, not from him, and especially not in the territory that he knew so well. I have decided to listen, for a change. 

He lead the way. We entered the nearby inn and we both kept silent for most of the time. He asked for a cup of tea, and I ordered a glass of wine. It tasted like shit, but at least, it was wine.

“Will the things ever be easy with you?” Levi asked, with the slightest hint of tiredness. I simply shrugged my shoulders. 

“They could, but you wouldn’t like it that way.” I have leaned against the wooden chair… and waited. My life might depend of his words.


	30. LANCE CORPORAL - Long, Hard Road (pt. 30) THE END

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with my girl Ezra until the very end :)   
> Let me know if you'd read a sequel, featuring Ezra and Levi :)

LANCE CORPORAL - Long, Hard Road (pt. 30) THE END  
by galateabellator, April 2nd, 2017   
Literature / Fan Fiction / Drama

**PART 30 – LONG, HARD ROAD**

Warning: Swearing, and bits of smut. Not for a mature filter though. :)

We didn’t look at each other for a while. I didn’t know what to say. Apparently, neither did he. We were both aware of this fact... but we still had to start the conversation somehow. 

“What you did…” he’s begun. 

“Just to be clear…” I was preparing to say something too. We spoke at the same time. How typical of us. For us. Every now and then, I felt almost like we were the same mind, separated in two very stubborn bodies. 

“I am listening,” I’ve stated. 

“Never mind the introduction. We are past that at this point. I'll be brief. The shitstorm has hit the HQ. You need to go back. Now.”

“How can you even ask that of me?” I was curious. “What I’ve done… is done, and I can’t fix it, no matter how many times I’ve tried,” I’ve pointed out. “That aside… I don’t want to face them, face the Queen or the Military Court, for that matter. I know my sins, and I am perfectly aware of what I’ve done… but here’s the thing. I am too proud to let them judge me, yet alone condemn me. I am too selfish to die. I refuse to let them bestow their law and their judgement on me,” was the first thing I expressed. 

“And you’d lose your head because of that pride? Tch…” he sighed, “… you are such a damn fool.”

“Probably.”

“You couldn’t keep running forever - you must have known that much.”

“I would keep trying.”

He pressed his elbows onto the wooden surface of the table. 

“No need. You are not going to face Court. Zackley’s verdict was that we should punish you, but Erwin’s firm decision was that your military value surpassed your disobedience, so the military officers agreed… what happened and what you’ve experienced the past few weeks was too personal, and too much for you to handle at that moment. It’s logical. Understandable. Naturally, you’ll be punished, but not executed. And not only that… you will be pardoned the instant you go back. If you go back, that is.” 

This caught me off guard. I didn't really expect things would be that easy.

“But… the Queen… and… the warrant…”

“The warrant was just for the show. No one is going to kill you,” he rolled his eyes. “Historia is not that type of person. But don’t think you won’t be punished, though. It’s only fair, after all that happened in your absence.” 

But that wasn't really my fault either.

“Berthold Hoover escaped from the Capital of Mitras, leaving Rosemary Sohner wounded, and in the critical condition. Vladimir was infuriated, but being with all of you, there wasn't much he could have done to assist Sohner in capturing the Colossal titan shifter again. Hoover met Braun, and the Armored titan betrayed my cadet, Liselotte Metzger, yet again - because that is their nature. Despite our desire to believe otherwise, they are both nothing but betrayers. For whatever reasons they had,” I've said, knowing that it was all a disastrous loss. At least, Annie Leonhardt was still in custody, and the chances that Hoover and Braun might yet go to release her were high.

“There was a doubt among soldiers,” Levi said, “a doubt that you may have had something with their release. Siding against Historia and the Reiss dynasty in general.” 

“Yeah… Vladimir has told me about that ridiculous assumption. I don't feel that level of animosity, nor do I feel I am enough of a Reiss to try and usurp the current Queen. Despite the circumstances. Despite being in line for a crown. I am still just a Schwarz to me - like Vladimir.” 

His surname... real surname... was Crnčević. It derivated from the word "black". Hence, he changed his last name to "Schwarz" for practical reasons in his youth.

"Listen, Levi. I don’t feel particularly guilty about their escape. I had no part in it, and despite all my bad decisions that resulted to heavy burdens on my conscience - rest assured - regarding that matter, I feel absolutely guilty-free.” 

“Oh, I know. Have you assisted to their escape in any way… I would have had to execute you on spot. The same goes for assisting Christiana.”

Yeah. That too. 

“Like I would lift a finger to help that bitch out. Shame for Hanji, though. I knew how enthusiastic she has been to examine that freak.”

Christiana escaped merely hours after I departed. Hanji's serum has worn off, and Christiana's abilities surpassed its original effect - just like she said would happen. The count of dead soldiers has risen - but they were mostly from the Garrison and the Military Police. My squad... and Levi's squad... didn't suffer any more loss. Thankfully, for any more would be a total tragedy. 

I’ve played with the glass in my hands. I took a sip, then put it down. Our reflexes mixed in its curved shape. Levi. Ezra. Half him, half me. 

“Would you?” I asked. I wasn’t sure that I’d like the answer, so I was a bit afraid of hearing it. Somewhere deep down… it mattered more than I’d ever admit. 

His gaze pierced through me. His brows curved and gave him that expression which suggested that I was an idiot for even thinking that way.

“Kill you? Of course not, shithead. We didn’t get this far so I could kill you in cold blood.”

The warmth started climbing into my cheeks. I was relieved. 

“Even if I did something beyond redemption?” I asked, my voice turning out as whisper.

“Like, helping the condemned shifters?” he mocked.

“Like abandoning all of you at critical time of need.” I said. 

He sighed. 

“To me, nothing you do is really irredeemable. Only stupid. But I would never kill you for that alone.” 

I’ve managed to crack a smile. It didn’t last for long.

“If they ordered you to kill me… be honest. Please. I need to know. Would you?” 

He didn’t even hesitate. He has just risen an eyebrow. 

“Hell, no. I might be many things, and capable of anything… but even I can’t kill someone … who means the world to me.” 

He didn’t look at me when he said that. 

“You’d defy… your Queen?” I asked. “Zackley? Erwin? Pixis?”

“I’d defy anyone.” He said it like it was the most logical thing in the world. “But it’s better if they don’t know it just yet.” 

I’ve managed to crack another smile. “One word from that Reiss girl…” 

Hah, Reiss girl. It might have as well as been me.

“…and you’d have to. You wouldn’t have a choice.” 

“We always have a choice. But whether it is good… or bad – only the time will tell.”

Just like with everything else.

“Like now?”

“You’ve made a mistake. You let your emotions get a hold over you, but I am not blaming you. You had every right.” He pressed his forehead onto his enter-twined fingers. 

“And you’re damn right,” it felt like an invisible fist closed around my heart. “I can’t stand that my parents died for simply being… who they were. That they risked everything, everything to protect me, and ended up dead because some lunatics that sided with Rod Reiss… decided… that…”

“I am sorry,” he has interrupted me. Bluntly, with an empty, cold expression. “So much… that it can’t even be put into words. I am sorry for the death of your parents. For your father, who was hung by Kenny’s comrades. For your mother, who died by Kenny’s own hand, before my very eyes, so I could learn a lesson. I am sorry for being there. And I am sorry for not being able to do a thing.” 

I started shaking. I squeezed the glass in my grip, too hard, and felt how the sharp pieces pierce into my palm. I didn’t feel physical pain, though. What I felt was more like… the whole damn world was falling apart around me, and I couldn’t help but just let it fall. 

“I am sorry he took her away. More than you can imagine. But it’s done, and I can’t fix it. I can do nothing to fix it,” he repeated. “There are some things that you can’t, some that I can’t… but the real question is - what do we do with the rest of it all?” 

The blood was dripping between my fingers. I’ve turned them into a fist, and bit my lip. I have buried that fist into his chest. I added another, right next to it. I have started beating him, in furious, violent way. The man that I wasn’t able to hate. Only to love. And that love hurt me too much. 

“You could have… stopped him! You could have… done something… anything…” 

But even I knew that he couldn't. 

He pulled me into his arms. Into those strong, comforting arms. He has hugged me, gently and with care. I inhaled his scent. It felt like home. The only real home I’ve had in this whole rotten world. I started to cry. I couldn't help it. He just hugged me tighter. 

“I tried. But she was going to die either by his hand, or by those less competent who wanted to do her harm. With him, it at least… ended quickly.”

He took my bloodied hand and wrapped his cravat around it. Our eyes met. Mine were still full of tears, and his were full of regret. 

“Is that the excuse… that allows you to live with yourself?” I whispered bitterly. 

“He taught me that not all the killings… have to be disturbing and hard for victims. Not every death needs to be violent. He tried to teach me, though it is contradictory and still a murder… that it can be compassionate in a twisted way. It’s what he said. It’s what I saw… and yes… it’s the only truth I can live with,” he admitted, and his pain was evident, raw and audible.

I kept sobbing. I buried my face into his collarbone until it passed. He touched my hair – a small, bare touch of his fingers against my ponytail. 

“I know… how difficult it must have been. To have something like that… discovered and re-lived. My biggest fear… came true the moment I saw your face. After Eren and Historia… made you remember. In that instant, I knew that I lost you forever.”

But he didn’t. Everything inside of me kept saying so. Despite everything, he could never lose me. We’ve been through too many things. We had too much history. However…

“How can I live… with the fact that Kenny… that you…” 

“It’s quite simple, really. You don’t have to see me ever again,” Levi said. “It’s been dealt with. I mean… we have managed to avoid one another before. Erwin and the others can make a schedule where we will never meet, we’ve done it before. But you are a soldier. One of the best that I have trained. It would be a shame if you threw it all away because of this. You don’t deserve it. And regardless of my mistakes… neither do I. So, I am here to bring you back to your old life, your old name… your old fame… and make you stand out like you always did. Not in the slums, with all these underdogs, but as an equal. As a respected and honorable soldier. If nothing, you owe me that much. Because, God knows I did my best with you.” 

“I owe you nothing,” I said stubbornly. He knew that I was just being rebellious, though.

“No, you do. You owe me at least that much,” he repeated. “For before your mother died, I begged… begged Kenny to spare her. I wept when he didn’t. I was a child back then, you know that much. From that point of view - I did what I could. Besides… it’s not like I pushed that blade, Ezra.” 

I hugged him back. His face was now buried in my neck and we stood there, like that, in silence. For a while. 

“I know. I am aware. But it still hurts like Hell when I think about it,” I wiped my eyes and calmed my voice. 

His lashes brushed against my skin, and with them, a hot drop too. I kept going on.

“I know that it wasn’t your fault. That you were young and that Kenny was… a professional killer. Even if you wanted to, you wouldn’t have been able to save her. It’s crystal clear. But it still hurts.” 

“…” 

“However… what hurts even more is how dependent I am of you. I can’t stand… being forever separated from you. I can’t. I haven’t forgotten our history, or our life together. Nor did I forget of how you saved me, and were there for me when I needed it the most. Dearest Levi… always by my side. Always protecting me.” 

He pulled me onto his lap, putting my tights over his own. Then, he buried his face into my chest and I embraced him around his shoulders. He listened to my heartbeat and held me tight. His voice was as strong as ever as he spoke. 

“An Ackremann for a Reiss,” he pointed out. “Like always. Nothing new there.” 

“Just a thing or two. This Reiss fell for this Ackermann. And despite what I say when I am angry… I am still indebted to you. By the amount of positive things that you brought into my life. By how strong you made me. Those things define you, define me, and I can’t deny them, despite the personal drama.” 

“Of which I played a huge part. So, Ezra…” his voice fret. 

“No, I know. She has died for me. There’s neither love, nor a sacrifice greater than that… but you tried to make it up to me. In all the ways that you could. You shielded me, provided everything for me, regardless of having second to none, and being equally miserable. That’s the beauty of it. You could have left me to die, I wasn’t really your problem, yet you cared for me. You weren’t sure whether I was her daughter… but you shielded me anyway. You saved me more than once. You gave everything there was to give, until there was nothing more to give. It’s a difficult thing to do, and I know I am a selfish, demanding person. A greedy one. A needy one. I wanted it all. I probably still want it. So you won’t… ever again… be separated from me, because I wouldn’t stand it. Despite everything… I can’t. I can’t stand the thought of being away from you.” 

“You…”

“I’ve had enough time to process it all, and accept it for what it is. I can’t be angry with you. I tried, but even when I attempt to do it… something is stronger. The bond that we used to share… that we may still share. I have lost much, but I have gotten you. It’s… a decent trade, I’d say. I have lost the biggest love there was… only to gain the love of my life. Honestly… it could have turned out worse.” 

His eyes widened. He was genuinely surprised. 

“You are. Come on, you must have known by now. You are the love of my life.”

“That’s…” he was shocked, and to a point, embarrassed. “Just…”

He has lifted his head. Both of our faces were red. 

“I just felt the need to say it. You don't have to respond in any way,” I said. 

“Really now…” Levi lowered the nape of my neck down towards him, “You can't just say I am the love of your life and expect me to do nothing.”

He lowered my head down even more. Our lips almost touched. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my lips.

“Damn. It's hard to have you this close. But I don't want to force anything while you are so vulnerable.” 

He was in control. I knew he wouldn't do a thing if I wasn't consent to it. 

“You are letting me chose?” I smiled. “We know what happens whenever I have to bring a decision. I fail you miserably…” 

It was a nervous rant. I wanted him to take the initiative. 

“I will still have to wait for the day you fail me, Ezra.”

His lips felt soft. His kiss was gentle. I hugged him, and let the kiss deepen further. 

“We need to go back,” I whispered when the kiss ended. His eyes showed familiar determination when he has risen from his seat. He walked towards the barmen, and the two exchanged a few words in hushed whispers. When he came back, the set of keys dangled from a small chain. 

“You need to patch me up first, and fix all the damage that you've done. To us both, because we look like shits,” he threw the keys to me. I've caught them and saw the number of the room he has booked for us. I've rotated the set around my index finger, cockily smiling at him.

“What about the urgency at the HQ?” I teased. I have started climbing the stairs, and he followed.

“We can't go in this state. We need to clean ourselves up,” he coldly exclaimed. 

In front of a broad, wooden door, I have waited him to catch up. When he did, I opened up and let us in. I've closed the door for us and turned towards him. 

“Are you sure...”

“It won't make too much of a difference if we stay here now. We will just go to HQ tomorrow,” Levi said, “for tonight is about us. For us. Humanity owes us at least that much, and moreover, we owe it to each other. Don't we?”

I was out of my breath. My heartbeat was on rampage. I nodded, and he pinned me against the door and we locked lips. 

“Levi...”

“Call me selfish, but I need this. And call me an asshole, but I know this is what you want too,” he said, looking me in the eyes as he was removing my belt. The leather strap fell on the ground with both of my knives. He started removing my clothes and was looking at all the wounds, cuts and bruises that I have received recently. Some were made by him. 

“I never claimed otherwise,” I simply said, looking back at him. I've started removing his own clothes. “And here we are again. Will this ever change?”

“Who knows?” he asked back instead of answering. 

“Well, it's been a long, hard road...”

“Out of Hell,” he offered.

“Back to you.”

I have touched the bruise on his chest, the one that I've given him, and he bit his lip. Then, he caught my wrist. He used his finger to lift up my chin and put his lips on my neck. 

“Don't leave me again. Ever. For any reason.” 

“Yes, Lance Corporal, sir,” I joked. He pulled my braided hair to expose me further to his kisses. 

“I mean it.”

“Me too. I won't. But you don't leave me either.”

“Have I ever?” he asked, dead serious. I have touched his upper torso. My hand slid further. 

“No," I said. He left out a small gasp. 

“And I never will. For you are the love of my life too.” 

Before I could respond, he kissed me again, preventing me from adding anything to his statement.

Although we have suffered yet another blow by shifters, and were deceived and betrayed again, I knew one thing. We won't stop. We will hunt them, and capture them again, and we will get all the answers that we needed.

I will go to Court, receive my punishment, and hopefully return to the field as Corporal again. Fighting side by side with Levi, Erwin, Aurora and Hanji. And everybody else. 

I won't try usurping the throne, though, nothing of the sorts... and I will never claim the last name of Reiss, for I never felt like one. We already have one Reiss monarch without me causing the additional trouble by announcing that I was of that lineage too. 

Schwarz is all I need to be. All that I really am. I am Vladimir's daughter, and I will remain a soldier for the rest of my life - no matter how short it may be. I will keep on fighting for as long as I am needed. 

But all of it can wait... just for tonight.


End file.
